15 tips to stay high value when your man pulls away

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Every woman needs to know what to do when her man pulls away. 

You may notice that he starts not to respond to your messages, may not ask to see you that often, or even tells you that he doesn’t have time for you.

Whenever you get into a relationship with someone, it’s important to understand that your partner is going to pull away at some point. 

So if you want to stay high value, make sure you have these 15 tips on your side.

1) Know why he might be pulling away

It’s tricky to stay high value when you start noticing that he is pulling away from you and the relationship.

And obviously, it’s important to know why he acts this way. 

Because of this, communicating with that man might be risky especially if you’re still in the beginning stages of your relationship. 

Try to find out why he’s starting to pull away, which may include:

  • He doesn’t feel you are connecting emotionally anymore
  • He is feeling overwhelmed by your neediness and expectations of him and his time, energy, attention, etc. 
  • He feels like he is not worthy of you
  • You have not been doing anything lately for him or for the relationship that is making it better.
  • Things are getting serious too, too quickly

Knowing the real reason behind why he might be pulling away will help you to understand what it is that you need to do. 

2) Don’t take it personally

Do yourself a favor: don’t take your partner’s lack of affection and attention as a personal attack. 

Your man is not attacking you or blaming you for anything. 

If he’s pulling away, he’s simply trying to deal with the relationship and himself in a healthy way. 

The problem is that we are in a society filled with so much negativity and negative thoughts that we tend to blame ourselves when we don’t get the things that we want to the point that we suffer from depression.

Remember that you are high value, and he is not pulling away because of anything you have or haven’t done. 

This man is choosing to pull away from you emotionally because he knows that he has to make his own decisions and figure out how to deal with things in a healthy way. 

3) Be confident in yourself even when your relationship suffers

It’s natural for us women to be scared and paranoid when our man starts pulling away. But the way you act and deal with this pull away from you as well as yourself is key. 

A woman should feel confident in herself even when she is dealing with a man who is pulling away from her. 

Let me be totally honest with you: when we are consumed by emotions and feelings, we start to worry about what others think of us and how they see us. 

This is when we start to lose value in the relationship as we start getting jealous, insecure, and fearful of what other people may think about us. 

So be confident in yourself even when your partner is pulling away – he knows that he needs to take care of his own needs first. 

4) Bring out his inner hero 

A lot of men who are pulling away from a relationship are trying to protect themselves from being hurt by their women.

And the reality? 

A man may pull away because he is afraid that he is not good enough for you and that you will eventually move on to someone more interesting or better than him. 

If this is your man, you can do something about it. 

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct. 

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct? 

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

5) Don’t text or call him first

If your man is pulling away, don’t text or call him first

It seems like a typical suggestion but when it comes to this, just don’t do it. 

Ever heard of the no-contact rule and its effectiveness? Basically, you don’t talk to him for a month (at least) and see how things go. 

If he comes back, great; if he doesn’t, you’re probably better off. 

But it’s not your job to reach out and call him or send him messages just because you are afraid of losing him. 

Your high value is already established in the relationship so don’t do anything to lose it. 

If your partner is pulling away, offer yourself to him but in other ways that aren’t physical.

If you truly want to stay of high value in his eyes, allow him to contact you when he’s ready. 

Do you want to know why?

If you keep contacting him out of regular habit, you will start to seem desperate and needy. This is definitely the last thing you would do. 

Looking desperate will only make him pull away even further since you are giving him no space and time to think.

Men love it when women are independent and don’t cling to them all the time. If a man feels that he wants some space, give him that space, and don’t try to push him back into your world. 

Be cool with him being away because when he’s ready, he will come back around.

6) Accept that this is what he needs to do

You have to understand that he’s not pulling away because he doesn’t love you or respect you enough

Don’t feel like this is a reflection of your value or any other negative things – it’s a genuine desire to take care of his own needs first. 

He is not trying to hurt you or make you feel bad. 

He’s trying to work through things on his own terms and he wants to do it without your help. 

The truth is, if a man is pulling away from these four things, it’s because he just doesn’t know how else to deal with what’s going on in his head.

Remember that his brain is doing something, trying to shut down the constant input before this person falls in love.

This is just how a man’s brain works. 

But no matter what, you and your man are still connected. 

And he knows that in his heart if not in his rational mind. 

So it’s okay for him if he wants time away from you for a while to figure out how he feels about you.

7) Make him feel comfortable enough to open up.

Let me be honest with you: it can be hard for a man to talk openly about his feelings.

Men are less likely to talk about their feelings than women. If you take a look at this article, you will see that most men don’t even like to show emotions in public. 

So if they are not that good at talking about their feelings, how could they ever share those with someone they just started seeing? They simply can’t.

However, it’s very important that you allow him to open up and share his thoughts, fears, anxieties, and frustrations whenever he’s ready (if he ever is). 

You should also focus on making him comfortable enough so that he feels like he can open up to you.


The best way for a man to feel comfortable about sharing his thoughts is through listening. 

And I don’t just mean that you should be there to listen when he feels like talking but you should also be mindful enough of how much he wants to talk.

If it seems like he is getting close to opening up, make sure that you’re supportive – keep telling him that he gets to express himself whenever he’s ready. 

When men feel comfortable with how open they are being with you, they will open up more easily in the future.

8) Try to look your best

Take time for yourself and make it a habit so that your man will see you are of high value

It’s a challenge to say this to a man but if your beauty is out of the question, then there’s no reason why you can’t try to look your best when he comes back around. 

I know it can be hard but stay optimistic and do what you can do to improve the way you look. It may not sound like much but when a man sees or smells a woman who looks hot, he will automatically want her.

Remember, men are visual creatures.

Doing something as simple as

  • working out 
  • coming up with a fashion-forward hairstyle 
  • changing your makeup to something that will make your eyes pop
  • wearing a nice piece of clothing can bring out the hidden beauty in you 
  • losing a few pounds 
  • make sure that you smell nice 

… will make you appear more beautiful.

To give you more of a push, this won’t only make him see that you’re irresistible, but you’re doing this for yourself more than anything. 

9) Be the person who makes him feel good about himself

A lot of times, men don’t want to leave the relationship they’ve already had since they are afraid that they won’t be able to find someone better than the person they already have.

But if you truly want to win your man back, you have to be the person who makes him feel good about himself. 

How? Ideally, you have to act the part in order to stay high value.

If you’re the kind of person who makes people feel good about themselves, he will just naturally start to treat you like a good person. 

The same goes for men. If a man feels good about himself, he will try to make women feel great when they interact with him. 

If you can get him to feel great by improving yourself, then this is the way to go.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to see that you’re the missing piece in his life.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

10) Be supportive and patient

When women want to rekindle the spark in a relationship, they want to be treated like a “special” woman. The truth is that it’s just not realistic. 

If you go on dates with him and hang out with him and he treats you like you don’t have any value anymore, he will only see this as validation for his suspicion that all of his relationships are destined for failure. 

He doesn’t need any more reasons to doubt what he already thinks about himself than that. 

Just leave him alone trying to pull himself away if he’s unhappy in the relationship he has right now.

I know, that remaining calm and being patient are a challenge but if you want to win your man back, doing so is important.

Use this time being apart to do some reflecting and getting to know yourself better because remember, your self-image is important. 

You should not allow yourself to be the victim in this situation. 

11) Don’t push for more intimacy or affection so quickly

Intimacy and affection are the main things that make a man want to stay in the relationship. 

These two things, more than anything else, can help rekindle the spark in your man. 

When a man feels that his woman is ready to share her body with him without hesitation and without any reservations, he will definitely feel confident that he wants to be with you long-term. 

Yes, men can fall in love with a woman very quickly but on the other hand, it does take time for them to have confidence in her. 

Make sure that you don’t push for intimacy too quickly especially if he seems like he’s getting closer to opening up about his feelings(if he ever does).

By pushing for more of what you want from him too quickly, you will lose your high-value status in his eyes. 

One of the most effective ways to stay high value is to be an independent woman who knows how and when to ask for what she wants.

Trust me, if you force something on him, it will be overwhelming for him and he will see you as less valuable. 

If you’re asking for something from him, make it a good moment that does not require any intimacy, and don’t let him feel pressured by what you want from him.

12) Do not break up with your man just yet

You might be wondering why I’m telling you to be patient and give your man some space when the whole reason behind this is to get your man back. 

To explain my point, I’m going to use a sports analogy. 

Have you ever watched a live sporting event? 

Imagine that you are watching a basketball game and the players are having a hard time delivering their best performance. They pass the ball around and shoot, but their shots are falling short of the basket. 

If one team is having a problem shooting the ball, most of the time the coach will call for a timeout or tell his players to take some rest until they have regained their focus and composure. This allows them to regain their focus, get back on the same page and make their shots count. 

The players will not be happy about taking a break from playing but ultimately, it gives them back their focus and leads them to victory. 

If you have ever played basketball or any other sport, then you know that when you are in a close game or match, you don’t want to give up. You need your confidence in order to survive a tough game. 

The same goes with your relationship and dating in general. 

If you feel upset that he is pulling away from you, think that he just needs time to regain his focus.

And this may also apply to you too, so don’t give up just yet in this tough time of the relationship.

13) Talk to him again, but not because you’re going to ask for something

It’s important to talk to your man again when things are getting serious. 

But you should do it because you want help solving the problem, not because you want him back. 

Don’t ever show that you are trying to chase him

Instead, let him know that there is a problem in the relationship and see what he has to say or what he can do about it. 

You don’t have to say anything like “I’m sorry” or “I miss you” because that’s a demand, not an invitation. 

You’re only sharing your experience and feelings with him as you want him to improve the relationship. 

Don’t let these things get in the way of your goal to win him back (if it’s your goal) while staying high value. 

A sincere, sit-down talk with him might do you some good. 

14) Go on other dates but know your boundaries

I have to remind you that you need a social life outside of him.

If you have gotten your man going, then start going on other dates with other people so that he will get used to the idea of being single. Also, he can see that you don’t want him back which might trigger something in him.

While he’s doing some thinking, it’s your turn to have fun and go out with other people. 

Don’t ignore him when you go on these dates, but don’t make it obvious that you’re doing this because you want him back either.

If he asks about it, give him a vague answer at first and let him know that you’re going to hang out with your girlfriends or some friends. 

You have to give him the impression that things have not changed much on your end while he’s the one who has been doing lots of thinking lately. This will provide him with the comfort zone that he needs to get through his thinking process. 

Let your doors be open, but don’t let anyone walk in just yet. 

Just remember that your actions are the key to building more attraction and interest back into your man. 

You need a little patience and consistency in order for this to work.

15) Don’t hesitate to walk away

If you’re feeling that you’ve given him enough space to reflect on himself and he still won’t come back, then it’s time for you to walk away. 

I do not want you to ever feel guilty about doing this because a man can only learn from his mistakes and pick up from where he left off. 

Sometimes it might take months or even years for him to finally figure out why he left your relationship, but he will be able to do that whenever he decides that it’s time for him to learn.

You are high value – so don’t lower yourself to his level where you beg and plead for a man who is not even sure about himself. 

A man who has left your relationship will always want it back after a breakup. He may be very happy in another relationship, but that does not mean that he wants to be in the same place he was before leaving you. 

If you’re feeling confident and not willing to settle for less than what you deserve, walk away now before he comes back. 

If the love is still there and it is still worth saving, for sure he will come to find you again because you will have built up a lot of attraction with him while being your high-value self.

Final thoughts

Your high-value self is what gives you the strength and power to give him space even though he may be thinking of leaving your relationship. In order for him to find you again, he will have to have some work put into it. 

Your man is going through a rough time right now, but you’re giving him a lot of break on his thinking process so he can rise above it. 

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

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