20 tips on how to respond when he finally texts you back

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Good news, ladies! It’s been a few days, and he finally texted you back. 

You’ve been anxious, checking your phone every five minutes and waiting for the text message that would make all of this worth it. 

And now? 

You have a response to share with your friends and family.

But wait! 

Before you send that text back to him, take into consideration these 20 tips on how to respond when he finally texts you back.

1) Don’t text him back immediately

I know you’re anxious, but don’t send a text right away. You need to give yourself time to cool down and compose a witty or suave response.

If it took him forever to text back, don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you were anxiously awaiting his text.

Allow him a few hours or a day before you contact him again.

This will demonstrate to him that you are not needy for him and are not going to wait days or weeks for him to text you back.

However, if he did not make you wait that long, simply refrain from texting him back for a few hours and then respond to him.

2) Don’t make it all about him and his texting ability

Everyone has off days, and even the most confident, the alpha male of the group, can have an evil spell. 

So don’t take things personally if he’s not texting you back. 

Don’t try to get a text or suck up to him. Quite simply: 

Don’t make it all him and his texting ability.

Don’t ask him about how his day was or what he did last night. Don’t be boring, you wouldn’t want to read that text, would you? Simply ask him about himself.

Want to know a secret?

Instead, talk about topics that will demonstrate your sense of humor personality.

Let him know how you really feel and tell him a funny thing or two. Or even if your day was terrible, don’t let it show in your text message. 

Remember, you’re in control of this conversation, and you don’t need to let him know how you’re feeling. Keep it light and fun! 

Things like discussing a new book he should read or an article you saw in the newspaper, or a view you have regarding a recent political event.

3) Be casual and flirty at the same time. 

Don’t rush into it, or he might think you were waiting with anticipation by your phone. You really don’t want that. 

It will look desperate and get you the response you don’t want. 

So simply respond casually and refrain from making it all about him. However, flirt with him a little bit, even if he was the one who initiated contact with you. Just hinting at a potential date should suffice. 

Remember:

This is a casual conversation, not a formal letter or an essay to submit to your professor.

Give him a little space. If he’s been saying goodbye to you with a text, it didn’t mean that he was done. 

Don’t text him too early or when you’re in the wrong spot. Keep it light and casual. You can still get a break-even if he doesn’t respond to you right away. 

What’s the catch?

A cute little text saying, “Hi, how are you? How was your day today?” 

That’s always nice to get when we look forward to hearing back from our friends. But we shouldn’t always expect the same.

4) Make him work for you. Don’t let him walk all over you

Remember, you don’t want to appear too ready or eager to jump back into a relationship with him. 

This isn’t middle school. Don’t give up too early, but let yourself know that the ball is in his court now. 

Let’s me show you how.

I learned this from one of the leading experts on male psychology – Michael Fiore. He explains what men really want from relationships.

In his free video, Michael reveals why most men struggle to settle down with one woman, and how to overcome this barrier using simple but surprisingly effective techniques. 

His incredible advice can turn even the coldest, commitment-phobic men into loving, dedicated partners. 

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5) Don’t feel the need to respond right away. If you want him to make the first move, simply don’t

Don’t text him right away or reach out too soon. Give him a chance to make the first move. 

Let’s say he didn’t text you back and now it’s been two days and you’re checking your phone every few hours. 

Don’t give up hope! He might be busy or having a bad day at work.

Don’t feel the need to respond right away, and expect him to respond right away, either. 

It is okay if you don’t text him for a few days. 

After all, he does not owe you anything. He doesn’t have to make you feel necessary or unique. Don’t create drama that isn’t even there. 

So have we got that straight? 

Just be the cool girl you are and enjoy life.

You don’t have to respond right away, but that doesn’t mean you should go cold-turkey on him either. 

Just give it a few days and then reach out to him. Keep the conversation casual and interactive.

6) Don’t send him an ultimatum or make him feel like he’s got no choice in the matter

Don’t make things weird by giving him an ultimatum.

Don’t say, “It’s been two days since you last texted me. If you don’t respond to me in a day or two, I’m going to assume that it’s over between the two of us.” 

Or

“I don’t like how you’re treating me. I need to know if we’re official or not, and if not, then I’m going to start dating other people.”

Don’t make things weird by giving him an ultimatum. You’re not playing the game of Russian roulette by sending such a text. 

Some men will take it as an opportunity to break you down, and they won’t even care that you didn’t respond. 

Remember: He doesn’t owe you anything. You don’t have to play games or make him feel like he’s got no choice in the matter. 

It will seem as though you’re desperate for attention, which can turn him off at best and make him think that you’re scheming to hurt him at worst.

Just trust that he will come around and start texting you again. He might be busy with work or school. It’s alright to give him some space.

7) Don’t text him during the wrong time of day for him

Don’t text him at the wrong time of day if he might be worried about what others think of him being on his phone that much.

Some people don’t always want to be associated with being on their phone too much. They’d rather spend time with family, friends, and even strangers.

Most people have jobs these days, and even if you can get away with it, some people just don’t want to be associated with being on their phone that much.

Let’s jump right in:

Don’t text him before work. 

Don’t text him during work. 

Don’t text him right after work when he wants to unwind. 

It’s possible he won’t have time to talk to you, and even if he does, he might not want to. It could be too much for him at that particular moment in time. 

Let him use his time for fun and relaxation, not for responding to you.

8) Don’t feel like you’re entitled to a response from him

If he doesn’t text you back, that doesn’t mean he’s out having bro time and purposely ignoring you.

He could have been busy with work or school. 

Sometimes people won’t respond in the way that you want them to because they don’t feel like they owe you anything. 

When a person is on their phone or computer, they might just be looking at it to fill a few minutes of boredom and nothing more.

Therefore, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like how you can respond when he finally texts you back. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

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Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with absolute clarity.

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9) Don’t text him if he hasn’t texted you in a while

Don’t text him if he hasn’t texted you in a while. He might be ignoring you because he’s going through something that has nothing to do with you. 

He might have met someone else and not want to come off as annoying/clingy by texting you every day. It’s gonna happen to all of us eventually, so don’t be upset at just yourself for not being the exception.

If you have a sense of security with a guy, you’ll naturally approach him after he’s been interested in someone else. 

It’s just the nature of dating. 

There are always going to be many women that are interested in and attracted to you, and if he’s not interested in one specific girl, chances are he won’t be interested in you. 

He might be going through something with his girlfriend, or maybe he’s having a bad day in general.

If you want to go after him, it’s better to just forget about him and not text him in the first place. 

Put some distance between your two relationships. You’ll be less likely to get hurt this way.

10) Tell him that you’d prefer if he texted you more promptly when he didn’t reply

Tell him that you’d prefer if he texted you more promptly when he didn’t reply. It’s kind of rude if he’s not texting you back at all.

Just say, “That’s a really nice gesture of yours to text me back as quickly as you do, but I would prefer if you texted me less. 

My response time is much better when I don’t have to wait for your text.”

Don’t be too pushy or naggy. You can always tell him that later after he’s figured out what he wants to do anyway. 

Sounds good?

He might think that it’s a simple misunderstanding, and after some time, he’ll respond to you when things cool down. 

You might have already played out the scenario in your head where everything turns out fine. 

But what if he doesn’t text you back? It might be good to tell him that you think it’s fine if he doesn’t text you back. 

He might not have understood your request, so at least let him know that you would prefer that he texts you more promptly if he isn’t going to respond right away. 

If there’s something bothering him, it might not always be about you.

11) Don’t leave too long between texts

Don’t leave too long between texts. 

If you always skip a day or two between texts, he’ll probably assume that he’s not important enough for you to write him back because there was no response at all from him on a day when you did write him. 

You can tell him your reasons for not responding to him.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t write back sooner, but I was busy with school and worked this week.” 

It’s totally fine if he doesn’t respond right away. Don’t let the pressure of his texts make you upset or angry with him. 

Just try to be a little more patient and understanding with yourself, too.

Sometimes it’s better to just not text back at all. 

He might be working on something that he can’t talk about yet, or maybe he doesn’t have time right now to talk. 

If you’re going to text him, make sure that you can actually have a conversation with him when you text him, not just a one-word answer (or no answer at all).

12) Don’t text him if you’re not feeling good at the time

Don’t text him if you’re not feeling good at the time. 

Maybe he was in a really good mood, and he wasn’t really looking for something else to do. 

He might have just wanted to relax, and you text him when you’re feeling awful. 

If you’re not feeling well or okay at the time, it’s best not to text him. 

You don’t want to ruin his day off with your pity party. 

Just put on Netflix and lay around for the day.

Sometimes, we all just want to write someone a nice message, but we don’t want them to respond and make us feel even worse. 

We might just need some space in order to regroup and get over something emotionally.

13) Don’t text him after you’ve been drinking or high

Don’t text him after you’ve been drinking or high. You might think that this is a great time to get his attention and tell your feelings for him, but he’ll probably just be grossed out. 

He knows that if you’re talking to him under normal circumstances, it’s not the best time for you to really be making life-changing decisions like moving in together or getting married. 

It’s probably best not to tell him how you feel when you’re drunk or high. Even if he’s into you, he might not want to get involved in something serious if you can’t control yourself. 

Maybe he’s thinking about settling down someday, but he doesn’t want to be with someone who is willing to throw away the opportunity for a long-term relationship just because she was drunk and talking. 

If you’re drunk and want to text him, keep it short and sweet. If you’re high, just don’t say anything at all.

So why waste your time and his?

Just go home and chill out for the night.

14) Don’t text him with a bunch of questions at once

If he doesn’t answer any of your questions, it’s kind of annoying

We know that you’re just trying to get to know each other better, but it’s okay if something takes a little bit longer. 

Don’t get frustrated if he can’t reply to you right away, and take the initiative to talk to him instead of texting him constantly.

It’s okay if you don’t hear from him for a while. 

He might not have anything to say, or he might be really busy. 

Don’t overwhelm him with too many questions at once. Do one at a time. 

Don’t ask him questions in order of importance (if you like him more than you like her and you want to know if he likes her too) or in order of how badly you want to know this information (if he’s not as attractive and you’d like to know if he’s a good kisser). 

If he doesn’t respond, or when you get tired of waiting for a response, just stop texting him. 

If you must text him, maybe choose one of the few best questions to ask instead of a bunch of different ones that he won’t be able to answer in just one text back anyway.

When it comes to texting him, it’s probably better to not take things so seriously right away.

15) Don’t text him more than once

After you text him, give him some time to respond. If you send him a really long text, or if you send him a bunch of texts, he might not feel like responding to all of them. 

It’s okay to send just one short text to see what he says. 

If you’re impatient and want to know right away if you can hang out today, try texting him at different times throughout the day so you can see if he’s available at any particular time.

Maybe he was busy earlier in the day and didn’t have time to respond to your last text. 

If you already know that he’s going to take a while, maybe just let him think about what you texted him and don’t send any more texts until later. 

You don’t want to annoy him with too many messages.

16) Don’t be annoyed that he hasn’t texted you back yet

It’s okay if he doesn’t respond right away, but it’s not okay to get mad and beg him to text you back or call you so you can talk to him.

It’s okay to wait for him, but it’s not okay to demand him. 

Maybe he’s busy and really can’t respond right away. Give him a little bit of time to respond. 

If you’re impatient and want to talk to him in person, just go over to his house or call him on the phone. 

Don’t wait for him forever because his phone might have died, or he’s probably going out with his friends and completely forgot about your text.

If you don’t hear back from him at all, it’s probably best to just let it go. You can always send him another text later.

But remember:

Don’t text him right away and act super angry that he didn’t respond yet. Just wait a few hours and see if he’s going to text you back. 

If he doesn’t respond, just give him some space and stop texting him. 

He might be busy, or he might just not care anymore. You can’t always get an immediate response from someone no matter how much you want one.

It’s okay if he doesn’t text you at what you thought was a reasonable time to reply back. He may be busy with something else, or maybe he went out of town for the weekend on a business trip (or whatever).

17) Don’t get mad when he texts you for a stupid reason

Maybe he texts you to ask you what time it is and then goes into detail about how much of an early riser he is. 

Or maybe he texts you to ask what your plans are for the weekend, but then there’s some kind of emergency at work, and now he has nothing to do all weekend long.

These are only a few examples. 

If he texts you about something that is not important, it’s okay to ignore it. 

He might not be super social and just want some company, or maybe he has an ulterior motive for texting you in the first place. 

Maybe he’s just bored, or he’s trying to set you up on a date with his best friend that you don’t think is good enough for you. 

Just don’t get annoyed and get upset about it. 

Ignore it and keep on talking to him like nothing happened in the first place.

18) Don’t assume that he’ll message you right away after you have talked to him on the phone or texted him back

It’s normal if he doesn’t talk to you right away after you hang up the phone. 

Maybe he was swamped, or maybe he was driving home, and then his phone died. 

Or maybe he gets really distracted when you call him on the phone. 

He might not realize that he’s been on the phone for too long or just get distracted by something else while talking to you on the phone and forget about your text message right away. 

Just give him some time to think about what you said and decide whether he has anything else to say or ask you. It’s okay if he doesn’t text you right away. 

If the two of you casually talked on the phone, then maybe it’s just not really appropriate for him to text you right after that. 

It’s okay if he doesn’t talk to you right away in person, either.

19) Don’t text too little

Don’t be a person who never texts back. 

It’s okay if you don’t want to text him all of the time, but you must keep in contact with him. 

People can get really frustrated and annoyed if they can’t get ahold of you. 

If someone really wants to talk to you, they’ll find a way to contact you.

20) Don’t text too much

It’s normal if you want to text him a lot, but sometimes too much texting can lead to a friend zone

Ask yourself: is he interested in me or not? If the answer is yes, then don’t worry about it too much. 

If the answer is no, then see if you can cut back on your texting habits or stop texting him altogether. 

Also, texting is okay sometimes, but a lot of texting can get really annoying and make him lose interest in you. 

If you start texting him all the time just because you want to be his girlfriend or whatever, then he might stop talking to you altogether. 

Too much texting is not cool. Be very careful with your text frequency if you don’t want to ruin your friendship. Texting can be a good way to keep in touch with your friends. 

If someone really likes texting you, he’ll keep on texting you all of the time. 

Don’t assume that it’s okay to talk to him all of the time just because he’s texting you a decent amount. 

If he likes you as more than a friend, he’ll find a way to tell you. 

In conclusion

Always remember to keep texting in perspective! Don’t text someone back ‘too little’ or ‘too much.’ It’s okay to text back a lot; just keep it under control.

If he really likes you and finds your text messages interesting and fun to read, don’t worry about over-texting him. He’ll love to talk to you all of the time.

However,

Keep moving forward even if things didn’t work out the first time around, and you’ll be glad you did. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who treats you with the respect and consideration you so richly deserve.

Life is short, so make the most of it! Set new personal and professional goals and meet new people by spending time with loved ones and engaging in hobbies you enjoy.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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