Is your boyfriend unhappy or dissatisfied?
Are you feeling panicked or maybe even desperate? Do you want to make him happy, make him stay, and make your relationship even better than before?
First of all: I think it’s great that you want to learn how to make your boyfriend happy. Many women out there are selfish and you’re not one of them, and I think that’s awesome.
At the same time, here’s a fair warning: Are you sure he’s not taking advantage of your selflessness? Can you be certain he’s returning the favor and making YOU happy, as well?
Not to hijack the article or anything, but that is the bigger danger.
Making your boyfriend happy is great but you could accidentally create a one-sided relationship for yourself. And when that happens, neither of you will be happy for long.
Now, having said that, there’s no need to panic. This article will teach you all you need to know about how to make your boyfriend happy – and how to be happy yourself.
First things first: Your boyfriend will always be happy with you when he’s always IN LOVE with you.
And so let’s talk about that first.
How do you keep your man in love with you?
For sure, it’s not by doing everything you can to make him happy… while he doesn’t even reciprocate. That’s just a recipe for years, even decades, of heartache.
Instead, you want him to be “chasing” you.
That is, you don’t want him to think he’s “got you in the bag.” If he does, he just might start taking you for granted and you don’t want that.
Instead, he’s got to feel that he’s the luckiest guy in the world to have you. When he feels that way, he’ll never take you for granted.
That’s Rule #1 in relationships.
So how do you make your boyfriend “chase” you?
The easiest way is, ironically, to ignore him. Here’s how it works:
- You need to have your own life to live
- You need your sources of joy, progress, and creativity that don’t involve him
- You have your life, and his presence in it makes it even better
If you’ll notice, ignoring him is the opposite of chasing him. And it’s the first thing you need to do if you want to make your boyfriend happy.
Now let’s talk about the nitty-gritty of making him happy.
How to make your boyfriend happy
This article will cover four major areas in detail:
- How to make your boyfriend happy
- How to make him know you love him
- How to raise his spirits
- How to make him happy when you’re in a long-distance relationship
Let’s get started with the top 4 ways to make your boyfriend happy:
Tip #1: Be supportive
Few things motivate him better than having a “trusty sidekick” in his life. So be ready to:
- Help him out when he needs it
- Supports him when he makes big decisions for the both of you
- Help him relax and unwind after a big achievement
- Bring his spirits up when he’s down
Tip #2: Be attractive
Men are visual creatures.
Social trends might try to change that but you can’t beat Mother Nature when it comes to our dating and mating instincts. And so it’s so much better to be on his side on this one.
Ask yourself: What attracted him to you in the beginning?
Was it your hair? Your eyes? Your body type? Whatever it might have been, keeping it up – and making it even better if you can – is a great way to make him happy.
Tip #3: Be a tease
When your boyfriend sees your relationship as a “fun” place, he’ll love being in it.
And that’s why being a tease is such a great strategy. It uses your beautiful, playful feminine energy to entice, excite, and motivate him.
You can verbally tease him, such as with good-natured jokes and sexually-charged hints. You can also tease him sexually, such as by wearing sexy new stuff to the bedroom and practicing new foreplay techniques.
By teasing, you’re “leading him on,” awakening his natural masculine energy and making him chase you.
Tip #4: Cook for him
Before anyone cries “gender roles,” consider these two facts:
- Chefs are almost universally considered the “sexiest” and “most attractive” occupation in the world; and
- Cooking for your partner is a potent combination of science and tradition, which is why it’s always a fun part of any courtship process
Besides, a home-cooked dinner is always more romantic than ordering in, right?
And there you have it – the top 4 ways to make your boyfriend happy.
Now let’s talk about a deeper subset of strategies with an equally important goal: To make sure your boyfriend knows you love him.
How do you show love to your boyfriend?
Showing your love to your boyfriend can be a challenge. Different men have different perceptions and preferred expressions of love.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, showing love can be a hit-or-miss thing. And you wouldn’t take those chances with someone important to you, right?
The next few tips will help you navigate the different ways of showing love. I suggest you try them all out and see what works best for you.
Tip #5: Accept that he’s not perfect
No one’s perfect, and it’s unfair to expect him, yourself, or anyone else to be perfect. So when he has flaws, traits, or habits that annoy you, take a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- Are they serious flaws – such as crime, substance abuse, or violence?
- Are they hurting him, you, or your relationship?
- Are they deeply, morally wrong to you?
If his flaws are none of the above, then let it slide.
After all, you might have realized that accepting your own flaws is the only way to really start loving yourself. Accept his own little quirks, and loving him becomes so much easier.
Tip #6: Lend him your trust
Do you automatically think he’s lying or telling half-truths? Do you instinctively think he’s “up to something?”
If so, then you don’t really trust him. And it might be the reason why he’s unhappy.
Now, you might be thinking: “Well, he cheated on me before. After something like that happens to you, it’s just hard to trust him completely.”
If that’s your situation, then hey, I totally understand.
At the same time, I also understand that the relationship won’t last much longer when your trust is that badly eroded, to begin with.
Here’s a little spoiler: Mistrust tends to build up over the years.
If you think you couldn’t distrust a person any less, wait ‘til you’re in a relationship with him. That mistrust turns to anger, hatred, and pain over time.
And then, years later, you reach your breaking point and say, “ENOUGH” – and you finally leave him. And so you’ve wasted all those years on nothing.
So here’s my advice: If you really can’t stand him, it’s best to leave him as soon as you can, even if you still “love” him. It’ll save you so much time, energy, and emotion.
On the other hand, if you want to give your relationship another shot, then learn to trust him. It’s a requirement – you can’t really love someone you don’t trust, right?
Tip #7: Tell him how much you love him.
“I love you.”
It’s pretty easy to say those three words, right? It comes more naturally to us women than to men. And even if he doesn’t say it as often as you do, you can bet he appreciates it.
If he’s not as good with words as you are, not to worry – you can show your love in a way he totally understands and appreciates.
How? Check out Tip #10 of this article.
Tip #8: Compliment him
You can compliment his looks, his strength, his wit, and so on. Take a moment to think of what you like about him, and you’ll find at least a few things to compliment him on.
Tip #9: Be yourself
This simply means: Don’t be fake.
That is, don’t pretend you’re someone else just so he’ll love you. You need to be as genuine and true as you want him to be.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you don’t correct yourself if necessary. If you have any serious issues that are hurting him or your relationship, don’t just “be yourself” – IMPROVE yourself.
When he notices that you’re consistently trying to become a better version of yourself, it’ll motivate him to do the same. If you think about it, loving him means wanting what’s best for him, and that’s exactly what you’re doing.
Tip #10: Speak his love language
Have you heard of the 5 love languages? It’s a popular concept suggested by Gary Chapman in 1992 when he wrote the book about them. According to him, the five love languages are:
- Words of affirmation, such as by encouraging him and sending sweet texts and notes.
- Physical touch, such as hugging, kissing, sex, and physical affection.
- Gifts, especially tiny ones that hold lots of meaning.
- Quality time, such as when you schedule moments, weekends, and vacations with him.
- Acts of service, such as when you help him with his workload or do his chores.
According to Chapman, every person has one primary love language. What’s yours? And just as importantly: What’s your boyfriend’s?
For instance, let’s say your boyfriend’s love language is “acts of service.” He’ll appreciate it when you help him with his work MUCH MORE than if you hugged and kissed him.
Or if his love language is “quality time,” he’ll feel your love more when you spend the weekend with him than if you helped him with his work.
You get the idea, right?
True or not, the 5 love languages are still popular with couples even today. Many people are finding them accurate and helpful. Try it out – you might, too.
Tip #11: Introduce him to your male friends
This one’s optional, but it can make him feel good about himself when you do it.
Whenever you’re with him, and you bump into one of your other male friends in town, introduce him.
“Hi, Joe! Joe, this is my boyfriend, Peter. Peter, this is my friend, Joe. We used to study together.”
Simple, right? And it’s easy to do, too. And you’ll be walking away with a happier, prouder boyfriend every single time.
Tip #12: Call out only his most serious flaws
Is nobody perfect? Yes.
Does that mean you should understand and accept all of his flaws? No – especially not those that threaten you and your relationship.
Again, serious flaws that need calling out include:
- Criminal behavior
- Substance abuse
- Physical violence
- Emotional abuse
When you must call out one of his flaws, only do it in private. That way, you both will have a chance to address that flaw and work on it.
If you call it out in public – worst of all, on social media – then that’s a fast, sure way to sabotage your relationship. So if you truly love him, keep it between yourselves for now.
Tip #13: Don’t make him feel guilty
Lots of women out there guilt-trip their boyfriends and husbands. Others use silent treatment or other tactics. The goal is the same: To make him feel like he did something wrong so that he would behave better in the future.
Well, allow me to give some controversial advice – don’t do that. It just won’t work.
If you did, you’re much more likely to make him think: “I can’t do what I want or be who I want in this relationship. So I’m going elsewhere.”
Yeah, let’s not go there, right?
So instead of making him feel guilty, tell him something like: “I hope you know I don’t approve of what you did and I hope you’ll think of me next time.”
It’s a more constructive, loving way to resolve conflicts in your relationship.
Tip #14: Let him have his space
A great way to show him love is to not suffocate him with love. As crazy as that might sound.
Showering him with love – especially love that’s not spoken in his love language – can quickly make him want out. So let’s not do that.
Instead, let him have his space. Let him spend some of his time and energy away from your relationship. Let him focus on his work, his friends, his hobbies, etc., without you needing to know every single detail.
And yes, that includes even his alone time. Some men need it from time to time, and your boyfriend might be one of them. And so letting him have it without any fuss is a sign of love he’ll definitely see.
And if he’s smart, he’ll reward that trust with loyalty and love. And if he doesn’t, that’s his loss, right?
Tip #15: Mingle with his friends and relatives
By now, you probably know that when a guy introduces you to his friends and relatives (especially his parents), that’s a GOOD sign. You can bet he loves you and is thinking about the long-term with you.
Still, you can blow it by not mingling with them or at least being awkward around them.
The lack of rapport will make your boyfriend think: “Okay, maybe she’s NOT the one. Nuts.”
And then you’re screwed.
My advice? If family is important to you, make an effort to mingle with his. At the very least, you won’t waste the golden opportunity in front of you.
Now, let’s switch to a slightly different ball game. One of the best ways to show love to your boyfriend is to lift his spirits, especially when he’s feeling down and out.
How to make your boyfriend happy when he is sad
He lost his job. Or his favorite sports team lost the championship. Or someone in his family passed away.
There are many times in your boyfriend’s life when he’ll feel down in the dumps. Make him happy again with these four tips:
Tip #16: Ask for his manly assistance
One special quirk that all men have is that they’d rather be unloved than useless. Being useful is what gives their lives meaning.
That’s why nothing will get him out of his funk quite like asking for his manly assistance. Even if you just ask him to open a pickle jar that’s too tight for you, it’ll snap him back into his happier self.
Tip #17: Surprise him from time to time
Speaking of snapping him out of his bad mood – try to give him a pleasant surprise.
You could take a detour to a restaurant he likes or give him a gift that he’s been wanting for a while.
Even for just a moment, he’ll forget what’s making him sad and remember that he has a girlfriend who loves him.
Tip #18: Be reliable
If you ask any man what he wants in a wife, “being reliable” will almost always be up there. And even if marriage isn’t in the picture yet, you can bet your boyfriend would love it if he could rely on you.
Just keep the basics in mind. Reliability means remembering your promises and keeping them, being there when he needs to talk, and being reasonable with your decisions.
Tip #19: Be a hugger
Believe it or not, but most men like hugs. A small percentage don’t, so there’s a chance your boyfriend won’t, but try it anyway. You might be surprised at how much he likes it.
Hugging releases endorphins, relaxes the mind and body, and soothes frazzled nerves.
Give him a quick hug every time you bump into him in the house – it’ll make life feel so much lighter.
How to make your boyfriend happy in a long-distance relationship
Now, let’s tackle a special challenge: Long distance relationships.
There are lots of circumstances in life that force you to spend lots of time apart. And it’s enough to strain even the strongest, happiest relationships out there.
So how do you make him happy if you’re in a long-distance relationship? Here are some of the methods that work better than most others.
How to make your boyfriend happy over the phone
Your phone is probably your best tool in making your long-distance relationship work. You’ll be using it to call your boyfriend, send him texts and chat messages, and even have the occasional video call.
How do you make him happy?
Hop on a quick call or two with him each day. Ask him how his day went, talk about updates on the things he likes, and even flirt once in a while. He’ll appreciate the pick-me-up.
How to make your boyfriend happy on chat or text
Chat and text messages tend to be viewed for only a few seconds each, so make sure your texts are worth his while and worth replying to. Aside from sexting (of course), you can send him sweet nothings that remind him of your feelings.
- “I was supposed to be in a bad mood today, but you made me happy with our chat last night.”
- “I’m the luckiest girl alive. I hope you know that.”
- “I’m so proud of your achievements. I’m so proud of you.”
Simple texts won’t take more than a few seconds to put together. And yet they’ll make his day like nothing else.
How to make your boyfriend miss you
It’s always a good idea to make him miss you. But there’s a fine line between missing him and being too clingy. Being clingy in a relationship is never a good thing, and that goes double for long-distance relationships.
It all goes back to Rule #1 in relationships. He’s got to feel like he’s “chasing” you.
This article has given you a framework to make it happen.
So go ahead – make your boyfriend happy for life.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.