16 no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious)

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If you want to make a guy jealous, you need to know how to do it right. 

I’ve seen far too many women go about this the wrong way and end up flat on their a**.

This guide isn’t about gimmicks and tricks that will f*ck with his mind and make him text you a lot for a few days. 

This is about making him jealous in subtle but real ways that will have a long-term effect and get him hooked

16 no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious)

1) Talking about your ex in a positive and nostalgic way

Talking about your ex in a positive and nostalgic way is one of the top no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious).

Almost all relationships have some baggage from the past, but even if your split with your ex was friendly, your current boyfriend doesn’t want to hear about it. 

Nor does any man who’s potentially interested in you. 

Hearing about your ex will set off his inner jealousy alarm bells as he imagines another man’s hands all over you and you giving your heart to him. 

Talking positively about your ex is a powerful jealousy cocktail with a guaranteed impact. 

Bryan Zarpentine talks about his view on jealousy as a guy and it’s very interesting

“It’s cool to be amicable with your ex, but you shouldn’t spend a ton of time reminiscing about the good times you spent with him. 

“It will definitely make your boyfriend jealous to hear you talk about the fun you had with the one who came before him.”

2) Getting your friends to make him jealous

Have your friends mention guys who are really into you around him, but not in an obvious way. 

Do it in a way so your boyfriend feels like he just happened to overhear it by mistake. 

When you’re a hot commodity, the message is clear: you’re in demand and you’re about to slip through his hands. 

This will create jealousy, but it’s extremely clever for several reasons. 

For one thing, you’ve done nothing wrong: you can’t help it if a number of men want to get in your pants and steal your heart, it’s just something you’re faced with. 

On a second note, this makes the guy feel a sense of pressure that isn’t actually your fault. 

After all, you’re not telling him that he’d better get serious or stop being a d*ck. You’re just an innocent girl whose friends happen to mention that many guys are in love with her. 

What he does with that information – like feel really jealous – is up to him. 

3) Using your fingers

One of the most powerful no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious) is to use your text messages. 

I hope you didn’t think I meant something dirty by this (although you can do that too, of course). 

But what I really mean here by using your fingers is in relation to using your fingers on the screen of your phone. 

In some cases, actually, refrain from using your fingers…

Let him suffer and wait, instead of expecting speedy replies and messages when he writes and contacts you. 

Don’t respond quickly to his texts, be vague about what you’re doing, and mention other guys now and then to set his imagination wild. 

Don’t be overly in your face about this, just do it as if it’s sort of for fun or you happened to think of it when he texted. 

Amy North talks about this in her excellent video on text chemistry.

Click here to watch the free video.

As Amy North says, one of the best texts you can send to make your guy jealous is to casually name drop other guys when he asks what you’re doing. 

“‘Chris gave me a ride home from work today’ or ‘I’m going to check out that new martini lounge with Ryan.”’

“Those little mentions of other men will have a huge impact when it comes to awakening the green-eyed-monster in your man.”

4) Flirting in front of him

One of the best no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious) is to flirt in front of him

There’s a right and wrong way to do this, however. 

The wrong way is to act like you’re some lousy actress out of a B movie and just throw yourself all over some guy who walks by. 

The right way is to be more subtle: bat your eyelashes at a dreamy waiter serving you, let your hand linger when you say goodbye to the cute cashier at the supermarket. 

If you’re trying to make a man jealous and he sees this kind of behavior from you, he’s going to get turned on. 

The jealous part of his brain will be fully activated and he’ll start thinking of ways to get you to notice him more than other guys. 

He’ll be putty in your hands.  

5) The fake surprise trick

This is one of the boldest no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious), but it has to be done correctly. 

What you do is you basically send yourself a present and then pretend it’s caught you out of the blue. 

Give the gift a romantic touch but don’t be too showy about it.

Maybe send a box of chocolates with a nice note on it with a few lines of poetry on it from a romantic poem. 

Or just put a winky face greeting card and make sure the guy you want to be jealous sees it. 

Dating expert Nick Bastion has a really good article on this where he writes that you can “send yourself a gift or flowers from “anonymous” and act like you don’t know who it’s from.”

6) Being seductive but rarely available

Another one of the best ways you can make a man jealous but not be too obvious about it is to be seductive but not overly available. 

Dress your best, put on that special shade of lipstick that drives guys wild, but rarely pick up the phone and act a bit aloof. 

You’ll be surprised how quickly this gets results. 

If you’re observant you’ll even be able to see the moment that your aloofness and sexy behavior combines in a man’s head to drive him crazy with jealousy. 

When he sees that you’re highly desirable but also hard to get a certain switch is triggered in his brain. 

He wants to have all your sexiness to himself while protecting and helping you in a masculine way

This mix of jealousy and protectiveness combined with your sexy behavior drives him wild and makes him pursue you like crazy. 

7) Becoming best friends with his friends

If you want to make a man jealous, become best friends with his friends. 

Laugh at their jokes and share their interests. 

Like Shikha Thakur says, “even if it is his best friend, laughing at their jokes may not go down well with your partner. 

“If he is a person who wants to be the funniest man in the room, then laughing at his friend’s joke can make him feel a pang of jealousy.”

Start showing up where they show up and make it clear that you appreciate them in a way that’s just a little bit more than friendly. 

Admire their muscles and style, cozy up to them at the pool table and ask them about their jobs with a twinkle in your eye. 

You want to make it clear that you’re far from shy and that you have a world of male talent open to you if you so choose. 

This will spike the jealousy in the guy in question. 

He’s going to see this and feel a deep desire to have you for himself. 

“When you are around your guy’s friend circle, then try to do something that will make his friends go gaga over you. 

“When his friends will start appreciating or complimenting you, he will start feeling jealous or possessive about you,” is what Sanchari advises at Panda Gossips

8) Respond to his flirting with fairly dismissive behavior and teasing

Another one of the top no bullsh*t ways to make a man jealous (without being obvious) is to be fairly dismissive to this guy’s attempts to flirt. 

Even if he’s looking like a million bucks and being charming and amazing, you want your expression to look a bit like an Instagram influencer who’s not even trying anymore. 

Let your smile take a break and maintain an expression of someone who’s being pushed to buy a pair of crappy shoes she doesn’t really want. 

An “oh really, this again? Can I get on with my life already, please?” type of attitude will do just fine. 

Make it clear you have things to do and places to be and that his flirting really doesn’t do much to float your boat. 

Now and then you can give a wry smile, but the main point is to make it clear that a guy flattering and teasing you doesn’t really impress you much because you have so many options. 

9) Reconnect with your childhood best guy friend

Did you have a guy best friend growing up?

Get onto Facebook or your social networks and find him. Or if you already have him in your contacts, shoot him a text or voice message. 

Now, it may sound shady to “use” an old friend to stoke jealousy in a guy, but you really shouldn’t think of it that way. 

What you’re doing is accomplishing two things at once. 

You’re reconnecting with someone you were close to growing up and seeing how he’s doing these days. Socializing is always good, especially in these days that have been so hampered by social distancing…

At the same time you’re inevitably going to cause jealousy to arise in this guy you want to tease…

When he sees your attention and affection directed towards a guy – even if it’s just a friend – it’s going to make him turn green with envy. 

10) Don’t always pick up the phone when he calls

If you’re at all interested in this guy or just the type of person who has the courtesy to pick up the phone when somebody calls, temporarily erase that part of yourself. 

Give yourself other priorities and leave your phone out of arm’s reach so that you don’t instinctively swipe up on texts and calls. 

Let him call and get no answer or text and face a wall of nothing now and then

His imagination will start wondering what you’re up to and imagine all sorts of intense scenarios of you and other guys. 

The growth of jealousy is inevitable as the guy begins to feel devalued and wonder what it is – or who it is – that makes you not answer his calls. 

This is one of the classic ways to make a guy jealous because it really does work. 

If he freaks out over it then you know he’s insecure and possessive as well. After all, you have no obligation to always jump to answer texts or calls. 

If he really wants you he can keep trying. 

Kirsten Cole has top-notch advice on this

“Pretend like you’re busy and make him miss you. But look gorgeous every time you see him. 

“He’ll be too mesmerized to stay angry, and yet, he’ll crave for you.”

11) Go ape over your celebrity crushes 

Whenever you’re around the guy you want to make jealous, make sure he knows how hot you think Zac Efron or Chris Pine are – or whoever your celebrity crushes are. 

This will cause him to instinctively compare himself and feel not as good as them. 

I admit it’s a bit of a dirty trick, but you didn’t read this article to get ethics lessons…you read it to get real answers on how to make a guy jealous. 

The great thing about the celebrity crush routine is that – again – you’re really not doing anything wrong. 

You’re just fantasizing about a silver screen hunk you’d like to rub down and doing it in a semi-joking way that’s just having fun. 

The fact that your target guy is almost definitely going to go wild with jealousy is just another extra benefit. 

12) Look red-hot whenever he sees you

One of the best ways to get a guy’s jealousy boiling hot is to pay that extra little bit of attention to your appearance that will drive him wild. 

Get your hair done at the salon, wear your favorite makeup, wear heels that would seduce the Dalai Lama and altogether make it obvious that you’re a woman in the prime of her sexuality. 

Men pick up on these things very fast and they tend to get very horny when they do. 

When men get horny and can’t get what they want right away, they tend to become jealous and will pursue with all their energy. 

Relationship coach Kelli Miller talks about this in her informative article

“If you want to make the guy jealous, then you can’t go around in your sweatpants and bed head. 

“You probably don’t want to wear a mini skirt and stilettos, either, but you should make an effort to look pretty darn cute when you know he’ll see you so he’ll take notice.”

13) Get flirtatious all over your social media 

Social media is catnip for provoking a guy’s jealousy. 

This can become a really toxic thing, and half the time men get jealous about posts that women aren’t even intending to use for that purpose. 

This is why when you intentionally use posts to make him jealous on purpose it’s that much more powerful. 

There’s no need to be obvious about it, just put a few photos out there of you with a few guys…

Or post yourself looking like an absolute firecracker out enjoying a John Mayer concert…

Really it doesn’t matter as long as you’re looking hot, having fun and getting some male attention of some kind. 

Even if you’re subtle about it, he’ll easily get the message that you’re a woman who’s in demand and who many guys want. 

And this will get him all sorts of jealous, as will the comments from guys under your photos telling you how hot you look. 

14) Talk about your own goals all the time

Our society has a big focus on looking for love and finding fulfillment. 

But far too often it leaves out the most important relationship that you’ll ever have: the relationship with yourself and your own goals and passions. 

I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. 

In his excellent, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, Rudá reveals where most of us go wrong in our relationships. 

So why should you listen to Rudá’s life-changing advice? 

Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. 

He may be a shaman, but he’s made the same mistakes in love that you and I have. 

And now that he’s found the solution, he wants to share it with you. 

So if you’re done with feeling less than worthy, if you’re tired of toxic relationships, and you want to cultivate real, genuine love, check out his simple yet effective advice. 

Click here to watch the free video.

15) Turn down plans with him on the weekends

Another one of the best ways to make a man jealous is to be just plain too busy for him. 

When he invites you to a nice dinner date on the weekend send him a wink face and tell him maybe another time. 

Be vague about why you can’t go and why you’re busy. 

Just leave your declination of his invitation hanging in the air. 

Make sure he doesn’t feel it’s something personal or spiteful: your goal here is just to generally show him that you’re too busy and not all that amped about spending time with him. 

Sure maybe some time you could, but it’s really not a big thing for you..

This will get his jealousy churning like an antique ice cream maker on an Amish farm. 

16) Leave your phone out where he can see flirtatious messages

Have you tried the leaving your phone out trick?

This one is a little down and dirty but it works. 

Get your Tinder or Bumble open and just “happen” to leave your phone on a place where this guy is going to see it. 

Oops did he just see that you currently have 231 matches? What a pity. 

You wouldn’t want to make him jealous or anything, but you just forgot to not leave your phone unlocked on the table while you went to put cinnamon on your latte. 

If he happened to look over and start to feel intense pangs of jealousy rip through him like heartburn after all-you-can-eat spicy wings night that’s not really your fault.

The struggles in the life of a girl, I tell you…

So he’s jealous… what next?

Making a guy jealous in a smart way that really works is a skill that most women don’t have. 

The guide above will help you stoke these feelings in him and turn him a little bit green. 

At this point, it’s really all about what you do with the jealousy. 

As Lachlan Brown writes:

“Playing with jealousy is like playing with fire — if done carefully, it can be the perfect way to boost a relationship and give it the kickstart it needs. 

“If done too aggressively, it can become a source of toxic feelings for the relationship, making it worse rather than saving it.”

Will it help you start dating him and end up in a relationship?

Will it strengthen the relationship you already have with him?

Or will it get him back for bad behavior that you’re sick of?

Be sure you know about why you want to make him jealous and what you hope to achieve with it. Being clear on your boundaries and actions is a key part of finding and claiming your personal power

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.