You had an intense connection—you’re even convinced he’s your twin flame— but then something happened that made you drift apart.
You want to reconnect so badly but you’d rather turn to stone than make the first move.
In times like these, it’s time to get a little sneaky.
Here are 13 ways to make him miss you without saying a single word.
1) Surprise him with a brand new look
Before you can even make him miss you, you have to catch his attention. And since men are visual creatures, there’s nothing more effective than surprising him with a new look.
Think of the many ways you can be a little different. It doesn’t have to be crazy. You can just have a different hairstyle or wear a bolder shade of lipstick.
Of course, you only have to make the changes that will impress him. If you go for a pixie haircut when he said he doesn’t like it, that will get his attention alright but not the kind that you should be aiming for. If he once told you that he likes it when you wear a sundress, then wear one instead of your usual jeans and shirt.
You want his jaw to drop and give a long sigh of regret that you’re now not together.
2) Wear your “signature scent”
Was there ever a time that a particular scent reminded you of something or someone?
It’s scientifically proven that smells trigger vivid memories so put on the perfume that you used to wear when you were still together.
When you pass by his workstation or when you meet him at a party, make sure he will get a whiff of your perfume. This will instantly take him down memory lane.
When you know you’re about to hug him for a casual goodbye, make sure you reapply your perfume just a few minutes before. Linger a bit longer for added effect.
He’d have a hard time seeing you walk away and he might even think of you all day that day, and even until the next day.
3) Update your social media
If there’s no way for you to see each other in real life, then head on over to Instagram stories or any other social media that you’re both using.
Put something that shows how much of a catch you truly are. Yep, post those interesting life updates and sexy photos (but probably nothing too sleazy or it will backfire).
Wait and see how much this is going to drive him crazy. Don’t be surprised if he hits you up with a “heeey” after being MIA for so long.
Tip: You don’t have to show the photos for everyone to see. You can just make it visible to him. That way, you still get to keep your privacy.
4) Ignore him
Ignoring someone is easily the most effective way to make someone miss you even when you’re around. Yes, it’s the way to check out even if you’re still physically present!
Maybe you work in the same office or you’re neighbors. If you always smile at him when you pass by, then stop doing that.
Don’t give him the usual attention you’ve been giving him because, girl, why would you? Staying friends when you still have feelings for each other is torture. But also yes, it can make him miss you once it’s clear to him that you’ve changed.
So stop giving him your attention but if it’s something you find impossible to do, then just dial it down by a lot.
It’s also a message to him that says “If you won’t pursue me, I’m not waiting around”, which will hopefully push him to do something if he’s actually into you.
5) Intrigue him with a firm “No”
This is similar to ignoring him, except it has more punch.
It may sound contradictory because you want him to miss you but if you’ve always been available to him—if you’ve always been nice— then declining his offer or saying no to his requests will make him wonder if you’ve indeed changed. He’ll then wonder if your feelings for him have changed too and that maybe you found someone else.
Again, he will see this as a challenge. It’s an opportunity for him to prove himself to you again so you won’t leave for good.
6) Say “I miss you” using body language
When it comes to seduction, body language is more important than words.
Look at him a second or two longer then look away. Twirl your hair while he’s talking. Touch his arm when trying to explain something.
There are many nonverbal ways to say you desire him, so go ahead and use them.
This guy has been with you and he knows how you flirt so it should be easy as pie to get the message across. You just have to send them.
7) Get a life and make sure he knows it
This is like the “brand new look” tip above except instead of looks, you make changes to your life.
Now, you might think it’s such a tall order but you know what, it doesn’t have to be grand. Any step that can lead you to the life you truly want or any hobby that can make your life more interesting would be enough.
It’s also a good time to ask yourself what kind of life you really want.
Maybe you’ve always been a “Netflix and chill” kind of girl whose life revolves around work. Is that what you really want? If not, then do more of what you really want to do with your life, and not just for him but ultimately for yourself.
Self-improvement might seem bogus but it’s always a good idea (and is quite sexy). This is the reason why we feel a slight sting in our hearts when we hear about our ex finally getting fit or becoming successful in what they do.
If you always had a dream of living in Paris, you don’t necessarily have to pack your bags and buy a ticket to Paris, but maybe enroll in a French class or learn how to bake croissants.
After that, find a way to let him know you’re doing these things, of course.
8) Talk to his friends
His friends matter to him a lot and one way for him to miss you is for you to get a little closer to him without actually getting close.
Chat up with his buddies. Of course, you have to be a little sneaky by maximizing your interaction with his friends.
For instance, instead of just talking about random stuff, you probably should tell them about the French class you’re attending or show them your brand new haircut. If you don’t want to see him, don’t worry. You can be sure they will relay this information to him sooner or later.
9) Make him a little jealous
This might be a little too sneaky—maybe it will make you cringe a little— but it’s one of the most effective tricks in the book!
If you aren’t in the same place and there’s no way for you to display that some guy is “pursuing” you, then you can show this to his friends or you can also post a photo of you and the “other guy” on your social media.
I know, I know, but you want something that could be effective, right?
This would require some skill because it could backfire. This is definitely a high risk-high reward move.
If you make it too convincing that you’re indeed in love with someone else, he will miss you alright but it might be the reason he won’t ever contact you again because if he has feelings for you, he might get discouraged. You don’t want that!
If it becomes too obvious that you’re making him jealous, he’d be turned off because seriously, who wouldn’t be?
So make sure that when you make this move, you execute it well. You have to be sure that you’re just friends with the guy and that it’s kinda obvious (to everyone else) that there’s nothing more.
Even if you’re just friends, if he’s really into you, he’d feel jealous. It will make him miss what you have and even approach you to confess to you his feelings.
10) Let other people talk about you
Most of the things listed above would have a stronger effect on him if others also talk about it.
Let’s say you’re co-workers and while he’s having lunch with one of your colleagues, the colleague would mention that he tasted the croissants you baked and they’re to die for. That would have a huge impact on him than just you telling him about your croissants, wouldn’t it?
It’s one thing when he knows you’re awesome. But if everybody in his life sees it, too? His heart would ache from missing you. He’d start to regret not pursuing you or breaking up with you.
If you really think he’s the one and you want to fight for your love, stay friends with his friends, his colleagues, and even his family.
11) Give him something special
Gift-giving doesn’t have to be loaded. It doesn’t have to be tacky and desperate.
You can simply bring your baked goodies to a party where you’re both invited and since you’re baking anyway, give him a box of cookies, too. It’s no biggie, right?
Or you can give each of your friends or colleagues a gift so that he won’t think you’re doing it just for him.
In other words, make his gift special but not too special he’d suspect you’re desperate to get him back.
If you weren’t much of a gift-giver when you’re together, he’d think you’re becoming more thoughtful which is a plus. If you’ve always been into giving gifts, he’d miss your sweet gestures and maybe even wish you’re still together.
12) Remind him of your past
If you own a dog when you’re still together and he loves your dogs to bits, post a photo of you and the dog.
If you spent one summer backpacking in Vietnam, post a photo of your upcoming trip to Vietnam.
If he used to call you his “little frog” because you like wearing green, then wear something green when you’re both invited to the same party. Wear a frog hat if you want a stronger trigger.
Think of ways you can express your uniqueness, especially the ones he noticed and liked about you. Better yet, think of the world you created together and remind him of it.
Those are the things he can never find anywhere else and those are the exact things that he probably misses about you.
13) Do something “out of character”
If he knows you as someone shy and reserved, speak up. If he knows you as someone who always complains, stop complaining for once. If you’re always at home, go climb mountains.
Do things that’s totally not you, but in a good way.
Like some of the tricks mentioned above, this will make him see you in a different light. He will wonder what’s changed in you and why.
If the reason you’ve separated was that you got used to each other, then it could be the spice that he’s looking for.
Here’s the thing: you doing things “out of character” will give him conflicted feelings. A part of him would want this brand-new version of you but it would also make him miss the old you—someone who he knows by heart. And he’ll probably want both.
These techniques are effective yet they’re so subtle that not one of them would make him suspect you’re actually up to something—exactly what you should be aiming for.
Now, if you’ve done all of these things yet he still hasn’t approached you—or worse, he becomes even more distant—then it’s time to do a more direct approach. It’s probably time to tell him straight in the face that you indeed miss him.
If he misses you too, you should probably be together again. If he doesn’t feel the same way, then it’s time to heal and move on. Life is short to wait around some more.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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