Do you currently have a fling with someone and you just aren’t sure if it’s time to end things?
I’ve been in the same boat as you, and honestly, sometimes it’s harder to know when to end a fling than it is a long-term relationship!
The mere fact that it was nothing super serious, to begin with, makes it difficult to decide when it’s time to let someone go.
I noticed there were a few very telling signs in my situation that ended up convincing me: this fling is over.
To make things easier for you, I collected all of these signs so you can assess your own situation!
10 signs your fling is over
1) They are always on their phones
I know, we live in the age of digitalization and it can be hard finding people who can get through a single dinner without checking their notifications.
All this aside, if the person you are seeing is glued to their phone whenever you hang out, it can be a serious red flag.
This is especially true if the two of you spent a lot of quality time together at the beginning of the fling, and their phone was left and forgotten for hours.
The lack of ability to give you undivided attention means that the spark is slowly fading.
The same goes for you, by the way. Do you notice yourself reaching for your phone way more often than before when you’re with them?
This just means that the initial infatuation and interest are gone.
Maybe you’re better off spending your time with someone who makes you forget you even own a phone, and who reciprocates that feeling!
2) The contact is inconsistent
Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times that we just don’t have the capacity to get back to someone right away, and quite frankly, sometimes we’re just busy.
However, in the age of smartphones, there is not really an excuse for going hours or days at a time without a word.
This can be an especially telling sign if point number 1 seems to apply to your partner, as well.
Are they constantly on their phones when they’re with you, but then take hours or days to get back to you when you text them?
I’m sorry to break it to you, but there’s a good chance that they are slowly letting this fling fade out.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people are very busy, just don’t like texting that much, and prefer spending time with people in person.
If that’s the case, their behavior has most likely been consistent since the very beginning of your fling, though.
On your end, a sign that you might be over this fling is that you don’t jump and reply to every notification from them anymore, and even forget to reply for hours.
Them not being on your mind enough anymore to remind you of replying is an indicator that you are ready to move on.
3) Your dates only revolve around sex
Don’t get me wrong here, it’s great to have someone to enjoy great sex with.
If the sole purpose of your meetings is to get the sex part over with, and then you go your separate ways again, the fling might be coming to an end, though.
This also applies to them reaching out to you for nothing other than to hook up.
Ask yourself this question: Have you spent quality time together apart from sex at the beginning of the fling?
This is important, as there are some flings that solely revolve around sex, and that’s totally fine.
But, if at the beginning of the fling, the two of you actually hung out and went out on dates together, then they might only be hitting you up to get laid, sorry.
The same goes for you. Do you like talking to them and spending time together, still, or are you only there for the sex?
If the latter is the case, you might be getting bored of this person and someone else would complement your life better.
4) It’s hard making plans with them
When you try to set a date or plan a fun hangout, things get frustrating. Does that sound like you?
I know, lives can get busy and that can be a very valid excuse to struggle with finding a time that works for both of you.
If that’s the case, however, you will know because they will make an active effort to work around the time obstacles.
Is your partner constantly saying things like “Oh, this week is super busy”, “I’ll get back to you on that” (and never does), or “I’m not sure when I have time”?
That could mean that they are putting you on the backburner and only keeping you around for lonely days.
At the beginning of a fling, you’re usually all over each other and it can be astounding how easily a time to hang out can be found.
If this dynamic has drastically changed, there is a chance your fling is coming to an end.
How do you feel? Are you actively trying to make plans with them, or are you equally as vague when trying to plan something?
5) They avoid eye contact
This can be a big giveaway of someone losing feelings or planning to end things soon.
Eye contact is very intimate and usually occurs especially when two people are very fond of each other.
If you think about it, there is no better feeling than being in love and gazing into your lover’s eyes for hours, right?
Well, if that eye contact is suddenly lacking, they might just be losing interest in you.
Eye contact is only appealing when you really like the other person. If not, it can get quite… uncomfortable.
If you’re noticing that you don’t seem to be looking into each other’s eyes anymore, your fling might be coming to an end sooner rather than later.
6) They are always late
Yes, I know, there are some people that just never seem to be on time, it’s like being late is part of their personality.
That’s not what this sign is about, though.
I’m talking about the people that were always on time when you started dating, and now they leave you hanging for minutes, or sometimes even hours.
Being late when you’re usually a very punctual person can mean that you just don’t care that much anymore, neither about giving off a good impression nor about the other person wasting their time.
Now again, there is nothing wrong with someone getting stuck in traffic one time and coming late to your date.
That does NOT automatically mean they are over you!
If it starts happening on a regular basis, however, and they constantly run late, it can be an indicator that you simply aren’t a priority in their life anymore.
Now the question is, do you really want to keep someone like that around?
7) They never talk about the future
Yeah, I’m aware that this was just a fling, to begin with, nothing all too serious, but if you want to find out if it is over, pay attention to how your partner talks about future plans.
I know you probably didn’t expect to be a plus one to their brother’s wedding next month just yet, but if they never talk in the future tense about anything regarding you, there is a good chance they just don’t plan on keeping you around for that long.
This sounds harsh, I know, but unfortunately, it’s the truth.
Even with a non-serious fling, you make some plans like “After this show, we should marathon this movie series” or “I can’t wait to show you the lingerie I ordered, it’s arriving in 3 weeks”.
You get what I mean.
If they never mention anything beyond this week in terms of plans with you, they might not plan on continuing this fling much longer.
8) You are always the one initiating contact
There are different types of people in this world, and some people are just more of the initiators than others, I know that.
If that happens to be you, there is nothing wrong with that, and it doesn’t automatically mean the other person doesn’t care about you.
The only time this becomes a red flag is when they USED to always ask you out, text you first, and initiate any type of contact, and now they stopped.
If at the beginning of the fling, you never had to worry about seeing them again, because they always reached out, and now you won’t talk for days unless you double-text or hit them up repeatedly, there is a good chance they lost interest.
When you like someone, you think about reaching out to them and asking them to hang out every once in a while.
Honestly, even the most non-initiating people will do this when they care about you.
For example, in my relationship I was usually the one reaching out to my boyfriend, that’s just how our personalities are.
When he’s away on a trip, however, he will go out of his way to reach out to me and ask me to talk, because, even though it’s not something he usually does, he cares enough to want to be in touch.
9) They don’t ask you questions
When you first get to know someone, you want to know everything about them.
Of course, the more you know about each other and the longer you’ve been dating, the less there will be to find out.
However, if they completely lost all interest in your life, that can be an indicator that the fling is pretty much over.
If they don’t ask you about your days anymore, or about your family, childhood, or goals, that is a sign that they simply don’t really care anymore.
Think about it, if you really like someone, no matter how long you’ve been together, you will still be curious about each other.
You ask them about their feelings, and there are always new things to learn about one another.
Once that curiosity dies down, with it usually the feelings for someone die.
10) They say “we’ll see” a lot
Tying in with them not incorporating you into their future, another telltale sign of the fling being over is them saying the phrase “we’ll see” to almost anything you suggest.
Want to hang out this weekend? We’ll see.
Would you wanna go on a little trip together? We’ll see.
I can come over after work if you want! We’ll see.
This is a big indicator of someone completely unwilling to commit to anything with you.
Sure, the relationship being a fling, you might not be able to give a definite answer to questions like “Do you want to be the date to my sister’s graduation next summer?”
If every future plan, even the ones only hours or days ahead, are met with the same answer, your fling might be over, though.
Many of these signs are accurate, what now?
If your partner (or you) shows a few, or even most of these signs, there is a good chance that your time together is coming to an end.
Sometimes a fling is just that, a temporary good time.
Are you the one losing interest? In that case, be open and honest with your partner so they can move on.
In case you are keeping it going for, let’s say, the sex, it is much better to be upfront with the other person and tell them you only want to be friends with benefits, nothing more.
Not only will this make the situation better for you, as they might agree to it, but if they don’t, both of you have the chance to look for someone who will fulfill your needs respectively.
If you’re at the end where you would have liked this fling to continue, or even develop into something more serious, let me give you a piece of heartfelt advice here.
We can’t force anyone to be with us, and if you think about it, do you want to be with someone you need to chase in order to want to be with you?
Trust me with one thing here, you deserve to be somebody’s full-body YES.
And as much as being single can be scary at first, there is someone out there waiting who will want to give you the world, so don’t waste your time chasing someone who simply isn’t ready to love the amazing person you are.
Take care of yourself and don’t settle for less just for the sake of not being alone.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.