35 signs your ex secretly loves you (and wants you back)

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Are you wondering whether or not your ex still has feelings for you? If so, then you should check out these signs.

No matter how much they try to hide it, there are various ways to tell if someone still cares about you.

How do you know if your ex still loves you secretly?

Luckily, there will always be telltale clues when your ex wants to start over with you.

Here’s what to look out for…

35 signs your ex secretly loves you (and wants you back)

1) They keep coming up with excuses to see you

They clearly want to spend more time with you. Even though it’s possible to be friends with an ex, normally it’s more of a casual friendship.

You probably wouldn’t see each other so much.

So if your ex tries to find any reason to see you, even using the most feeble of excuses, then they clearly have leftover feelings for you.

2) They call/text you at weird hours

If your ex is trying to get in touch with you at odd times, then something gives.

For some reason, it’s often late at night that our resolve starts to fade.

They are alone, they can’t stop thinking about you, and their willpower is weak. So they call or text you, even though it’s pretty late and they probably shouldn’t.

Messages at odd times show that you are on their mind, and not in an innocent sort of way.

3) They reminisce about old times

Any trip down memory lane about when you were a couple says that they miss being with you.

They’re trying to get you to think about the good times.

When you first started dating, you had a lot of fun together. You shared everything, from small things like going to the movies to big adventures like traveling abroad.

Now that you’ve broken up, they can’t stop thinking about those happy memories.

4) They send you cute messages on social media

Are they always sending you a funny meme, an interesting post, or some cute message on your socials?

Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say, but your ex still feels compelled to reach out to you.

It’s just an excuse to connect in any way they can. You might find it weird that they’re still sending you trivial things over Instagram or on Tiktok.

But it’s a way of staying in your life, without revealing how they feel.

5) They get jealous

How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back?

If they do, they’re not going to be happy if they think there is anyone else on the scene.

They may act jealous when they see you with another guy/girl.

It shows that they care about you, and they don’t want anyone else getting close to you.

6) A gifted advisor confirms it

The signs in this article will give you an insight into whether your ex still secretly loves you and wants you back.

Even so, issues related to love and dating can be confusing at the best of times, especially as your situation is unique to you.

So could getting some outside guidance help?

After a really challenging breakup, I found that speaking to an advisor from Psychic Source was super helpful.

The advisor I spoke to was kind, understanding, and genuinely helpful.

My love reading gave me the guidance I was looking for (and needed) during a painful and confusing time.

Click here to get your own personalized love reading.

Not only can a gifted advisor tell you whether your ex is still holding a torch for you, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.

7) They try to keep the conversation going

Whenever you speak, they always seem to have something to say.

They are never short of words, and they’ll go on forever if you didn’t put a stop to the chat — whether it’s in person or over text.

They may ask lots of questions to try and extend the conversation.

8) They give you gifts

Some people show their love and affection with gifts.

Even though you’ve split, you still get presents from your ex for birthdays, Christmas or some other celebration.

Maybe there isn’t even any particular occasion. But they still bring you thoughtful gestures or spoil you with pressies.

This is a clear indication of how much they care, and a strong sign they are trying to win you over.

9) Drunk texts and calls

Do they ever call drunk? Or send you drunken texts?

When we have been drinking we lose our inhibitions.

That means when they’re sober, your ex might be trying to play things cool and not reveal their feelings for you.

But as soon as they get a bit tipsy their walls come down and their genuine feelings are exposed.

The fact that you are on their mind when they should be out having fun reveals where their head is at.

10) They haven’t moved on with anyone else

Perhaps it’s been ages since you split, but you’re pretty sure they haven’t hooked up with anybody else. And you know for a fact that they are still officially single.

If they haven’t moved on and instead are choosing to keep hanging around you, there’s a reason for it.

It could be that they are waiting for you to change your mind or secretly hoping you will get back together.

11) They’re really flirty still

You’d think that once you’ve broken up your ex wouldn’t want to confuse the situation between you two.

So why then are they so damn flirty whenever you see each other?

Flirting is a way that we signal our attraction and interest in someone.

So it could be that your ex is trying to test the water to see if something could happen. Or they might be hoping to reignite those sparks of passion between you.

12) They show you they’re willing to change

I once had an ex call me up and tell me all the things he’d been doing recently to grow as a person.

They included things like signing up for a marathon, partying much less, and even starting therapy.

Although he made out as though he was doing these things for himself, I knew he was also trying to prove to me that he was making changes.

And low and behold, a few weeks later he asked if we could try again.

13) If you haven’t spoken for a while, they’re the one who will reach out first

If you haven’t talked to your ex for a while, they’re always the one who will start the ball rolling by sending you a message or calling you.

It might be as simple as a “hey” or asking how you are and what you’re up to. The content of the message may not reveal much, but them continuing to reach out speaks volumes.

The fact that they initiate contact first reveals to you that they care enough to put in the majority of the effort.

14) They ask about you

Have you noticed that your ex has started asking about you more often? Has he/she started talking about you to mutual friends or people you know? Or do they seem interested in knowing what you’ve been up to?

They want to get information on you, but don’t want to make it obvious.

If they don’t feel like they can come to you, they may try to learn what’s going on in your life from someone else.

15) They stalk you on social media

Your ex may have taken to stalking you on social media.

Maybe they watch every single story you post. They are the first person to like or comment on your photos.

Your friends might tell you that your ex has even started to watch their stories, in an attempt to keep tabs on you (this has happened to me before).

Social media makes tempting to check out what our exes are up to. But we only do this if we’re not really over them.

16) They want to know if you’re seeing anybody

Let’s face it, it’s almost impossible for an ex to “casually ask” about our current relationship status.

If they ask you outright if you’re dating anyone new, it could be because they want to know if there’s any chance of reconciliation happening.

They’re checking out the competition.

17) You bump into them in unusual places

How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back?

Showing up in really weird places is a big clue.

Because rather than being a strange coincidence, it’s more likely that they’ve gone there in search of you.

This applies to seeing your ex in places they normally wouldn’t be, but that they know you will be.

“Running into them” in the coffee shop you always get your morning cappuccino or the bar you always head to for happy hour is very suspicious.

18) They try to do things for you

If your ex is still offering to do you favors, then it’s safe to say that they still care about you a lot.

For example, they offer to take a look at your car when it’s making a funny noise. They volunteer to spend Saturday helping you paint your kitchen. Or they offer to pick up your cat from the vet because you’re stuck at work.

Acts of service are another love language. So if your ex is still going out of their way for you, they could be holding onto secret romantic feelings.

19) They act differently around you

Are they acting differently when they see you?

Do they suddenly start saying really nice things to you? Do they compliment you on something? Or maybe they’ve just started to act really weird or awkward around you.

Changes in behavior can be an indicator of them struggling silently with their feelings. It’s also possible that they’re trying to figure out how to handle their emotions without being too obvious.

20) Get an objective expert opinion

We all need a little guidance to help us get to the truth. And the reality is that when it comes to our own love life, it’s difficult to stay objective.

We can be too close to the situation. We may see things we want to see, or misread the signs.

But with a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like whether your ex wants to get back together.

Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.

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21) They still want you around

How do you tell if your ex secretly misses you?

One of the more subtle clues lies in the fact that they haven’t cut you out of their lives.

When we’re well and truly done with a relationship, most of us try to move forward by cutting ties — at least until we heal.

But if your ex hasn’t done that, it’s for a reason.

Maybe you’re still connected on social media, neither of you has collected your things from each other’s place, and you’re still occasionally chatting and meeting up.

These can be stepping stones on the way to reconciliation.

22) They’re trying to distract themselves

When you go through a breakup and see your ex out partying, drinking, and seemingly “having a good time” it can be really painful.

You might jump to the conclusion that they clearly no longer care. But in fact, the absolute opposite can be the case…

When we’re hurting it can be very difficult to confront that pain. Instead, until we’re ready to face our true emotions, it’s easier to get lost in distractions.

So if your ex is always drunk or always out with pals, it can actually mean that they’re struggling to get over you.

23) They apologize for the way they’ve behaved

“I’m sorry” — especially when it comes totally out of the blue — reflects regret.

It could be that your ex has been thinking about you, what they lost, and how their actions contributed to the breakdown of your relationship.

If they’re apologizing for the way they’ve acted or for treating you badly, don’t be surprised if before long they try to get you back.

24) They’re touchy-feely with you

Any forms of physical intimacy with an ex are usually off-limits for pretty obvious reasons.

It tends to blur the line between friend and lover. And with all that history between you, it complicates things.

Perhaps your ex is getting a bit handsy, holds that goodbye hug for a it too long, or even wants to have a cuddle whilst you’re watching a film.

Finding ways to touch you probably means that they want more from you.

25) They try to make you jealous

Everybody knows that nothing stirs up feeling quite like a touch of the green-eyed monster.

So if it seems like your ex is purposely trying to make you jealous, then they want to get a rise out of you.

And the only reason they would want to push your buttons is if they still care.

26) They ask you for advice

If you are still the one that your ex turns to, then it shows you how valuable you are to them.

They trust you, they rely on you, and no one has replaced you as their key advisor whenever they need guidance.

Despite the fact you’ve broken up, if you remain their shoulder to cry on and their main support system, they’re bound to still have strong feelings for you.

27) They tell you that they miss you

Missing an ex is pretty common, whether we want them back or not.

Sometimes you can miss someone but still think the break-up is for the best. The significant part here is that they tell you that they miss you.

They’re opening up and letting you know how they feel. They most likely want to hear that you miss them too.

This is a classic way to test the water if you want someone back.

29) They still reach out even when you’ve asked them not to

Some people do the ‘no contact rule‘ after a breakup because they want to try and move on. Others are hoping to provoke a reaction from their ex.

If you cut all contact and tell your ex you don’t want to speak to them, but they reach out anyway — then they really miss you.

Despite your wishes, they still make attempts to talk to you.

They may have realized what they lost and want you back.

29) They look at you with puppy dog eyes

How do you know if someone still loves you?

Believe it or not, you can often tell not just by what they say or do, but simply by how they look at you.

Our eyes are the windows to the soul after all and can reveal how we’re feeling.

When your ex still cares about you, they may try to steal glances when they think you’re not looking. Or when they look at you, it’s with those puppy dog eyes.

30) They jump straight into a rebound

It might sound really counter intuitive, but if your ex moves on too quickly it might be because they still have feelings for you.

A breakup can be too much to handle. It brings up a lot of emotions that not everyone is prepared to face.

Jumping straight away into the arms of someone else is a defense mechanism a lot of people use to try to get over their ex.

But most rebounds don’t last and eventually they must confront their true feelings.

31) They seem lost without you

Another coping strategy when you’re struggling to deal with the loss of a partner is to withdraw.

If your ex has done a disappearing act, their friends haven’t seen much of them lately, and they are lying low, it sounds like they are pretty heartbroken.

If your ex seems lonely, sad or even depressed without you, then they clearly are still in love with you.

32) Emotions run high

The people who are most capable of pushing our buttons are usually the ones we care about the most.

That’s why if your ex displays strong emotions around you— whether that’s anger, sadness, jealousy, etc. — then it all points to the presence of strong feelings.

Passion can inspire strong feelings to bubble up and pour out in all sorts of ways.

33) You’re always together

If your ex is constantly hanging out with you, they obviously still care about you.

You’re like glue to them.

And while you might wonder whether you’re “just friends”, being super close to an ex often points to lingering romantic feelings.

It might also mean they’re afraid to completely let you go, but they could also be holding onto the hopes of winning you back eventually.

34) They lash out at you for no reason

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s actually indifference.

That’s why when tempers fray with an ex, it’s because they still have strong feelings for you.

If they are moody, angry, or snappy with you, it’s ultimately because they feel sadness.

Anger is often just the mask we use to try to protect ourselves whenever we are hurting.

35) Your intuition tells you

This is a fairly exhaustive list of all the potential signs that your ex is still in love with you and likely wants you back.

But ultimately, you know your ex best.

That’s why it’s always a good idea to listen to your gut. It’s probably picking up on lots of subconscious cues.

Just be sure not to confuse your gut instincts with wishful thinking.

I mentioned earlier about my positive experience seeing a psychic and how they helped me.

Hopefully these signs should help you get a much better handle on your situation, but if you want to go to the next level, I highly recommend speaking with a spiritual advisor.

That way you can be sure you’re listening to your instincts rather than simply getting carried away.

I know it sounds far out, but you’d be surprised how down-to-earth and helpful it can be.

Click here to get your own love reading.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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