How to know if a guy likes you or just wants sex

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It can be hard to know if the guy you’re seeing really likes you or if he just wants to get into your pants.

He’s sweet and attentive, but that doesn’t reveal anything.

So how can you know?

After years of going out with sweet guys and players, I’ve learned how to read the signs.

Read on to find out if he likes you or just wants sex:

1) He works hard to plan a romantic date

When a guy is serious about getting to know you, he’ll put a lot of effort into the date. He’ll be sure to pick a place you’d like. He’ll make sure it’s a nice and romantic place and he won’t spare any expense.

What’s more, he’ll plan out the whole evening: dinner, movie, skating, etc.

For example, if a guy liked me and wanted to plan a romantic evening, he’d take me to an art gallery first, then we’d go to a French restaurant, have a romantic walk in the park and finish the evening watching some foreign indie film in the cinema.

If he’s just trying to get in your pants, he won’t go into so much trouble. He’ll suggest something like meeting up for drinks.

If you’re not looking for anything special, just sex is ok. So long as you both know what you’re getting into.

2) He’s a gentleman

When a guy really likes you he opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, and is attentive to every need.

He walks you to your door after the date and doesn’t try any funny business. In other words, he’s the perfect gentleman.

I know in this day and age it’s weird to talk about gentlemen, but I have to say after the initial shock of a guy opening the door for me, it kinda makes me feel special.

However, if he’s just after sex, he’ll try to get physical on your first date. From putting his hand on your shoulder or knee, to kissing you, to trying to charm his way into your home for a late night “cup of coffee”.

3) He takes an interest in your life

A guy who really likes you will want to know everything about you. He’ll want to know your goals and aspirations, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and what annoys you.  

He’ll ask you about your job, your friends, your family, and whether you have any pets.

And you’ll know he likes you because you’ll notice that he’s really listening to you.

On the other hand, if a guy just wants to have sex with you, he’ll be more focused on himself.

He’ll ask you some random questions without really listening to your response and will mostly talk about himself the whole time.

4) He’s romantic

One surefire way to know if a guy really likes you is if he’s romantic with you.

He might bring you flowers, write notes and leave them for you, or buy you your favorite candy.

He’ll send you a text when you wake up and before you go to sleep. He’ll send you a text just to let you know that he’s thinking of you.

But if all he wants is sex, he won’t be interested in romance. He’ll try to get what he wants without trying too hard.

The only texts you’ll get from him are when he wants to see you – often late at night.

5) He wants to meet your friends

A man who really likes you will invite you out with his friends and want to meet your friends – even if they’re weirdos!

He wants your two worlds to merge and for you two to fit in together because he desperately wants to be part of your life.

He’ll plan fun group activities like weekends at the beach, board games, or even mini golf.

A guy who’s just interested in sex will keep finding excuses not to meet your friends or introduce you to his.

This is because he’s not serious about you and doesn’t want you to be a part of his life.

6) He’s a great kisser

I’ve gone out with some guys who were amazing kissers.

I mean, so good that I lost feeling in my legs.

And I knew that these were the good guys in the bunch because they kissed me like I was their precious princess.  

Good kissing comes from a guy who likes you and wants you to feel sexy about yourself, not a guy who just wants sex from any girl he can find.

7) He’s only got eyes for you

When a guy really likes you, you’ll notice that he only has eyes for you and does nothing to signal his attraction to other women.

He won’t look at other women when you’re with him, chat them up at the bar, or flirt with them just because he’s single and looking.

He’ll be sure to bring up “being exclusive” in your relationship.

If a guy just wants sex from you, he won’t be able to help but “accidentally” glance at other women.

When you’re out together, you’ll find that a lot of women know him.

What’s more, he’ll say that he thinks it’s too early to be in an exclusive relationship and that he thinks you should see other people.

8) He doesn’t try to convince you to do things that you’re not ready for

If a guy likes you and wants to be serious, he won’t try to persuade you to do things that you’re not ready for when it comes to sex.

He’ll ask you out on dates but will never pressure or push you. He’ll be patient and wait until you’re ready to have sex.

On the other hand, a guy who always wants sex will try to get it from you whenever he can. He’ll constantly pressure you to do things that you’re not ready for.

9) He makes you feel special

A guy who really likes you will want to spend every moment with you. He’ll want to spend his time with you and only with you, no matter how busy he is or what he’s doing.

He’ll spend hours on the phone with you, send you text messages all day long, and want to hang out with you every second that he can.

I once dated a guy who’d talk to me late into the night and wouldn’t hang up even when I fell asleep. When I’d wake up the next day he’d be on the other side with “Good morning sunshine”.

A guy who just wants sex will be too busy to spend time with you – he’ll make time for his friends but cancel dinner plans with you. He’ll only be available when he wants sex.

10) He listens and cares when you’re upset

If a guy is into you and likes being around you, he’ll care about what’s going on in your life.

When you’re upset he’ll listen to your concerns and offer to help in any way he can. He’ll genuinely make you feel better and will try to be there for you when times get rough – not just when it’s convenient for him.

But if the guy is a player, he probably won’t even notice that you’re upset and need comforting.

11) He respects your limits

A guy who likes you will be willing to respect your boundaries. He won’t try to get close to you more than you’re comfortable with or try to push past those boundaries.

He won’t be too possessive about your body or try to subtly control every step that you take.

He’ll accept and respect your decisions when it comes to how you want to lead your life.

However, a guy who wants sex from you will not respect your boundaries and will try to push past them or be possessive of you.

12) He talks about the future with you

From what he wants to get out of life to where he sees himself in five years, a guy who likes you will want to share those things with you.

If he’s a romantic guy, he’ll want those plans to include you – even if only as a friend or as someone special to him.

However, if he just wants sex from you, talking about the future won’t be that important to him and it certainly won’t include you.

13) He’s all over your social media

If a guy likes you, he’ll be all over your social media. He’ll check it daily and make sure to follow you on everything so he can see what’s going on in your life.

This doesn’t mean that he’s stalking you though. He’ll just be interested in what your life is like and wants to know if there will ever be any opportunities to hang out with you.

He’ll enjoy looking at photos that you share with him and keeping up with the latest updates from your life.

If he just wants sex, he either won’t bother to follow you on social media or, he’ll just like your “hot” pictures and write how sexy you are.

14) He’ll remember special dates

A guy who likes you will remember the important dates in your life. I’m talking about birthdays, promotions, and even surgeries.

He’ll want to share the good moments with you and make them memorable and special. He’ll want to take you out to dinner, plan a surprise party, or just spend time with you on those days.

And when it comes to more serious things like surgery, he’ll want to be there with you holding your hand.

However, a guy who just wants sex will forget your birthday. He’ll forget that you have an important doctor’s appointment. He doesn’t care about you at all.

I once went out with this total idiot who forgot that he promised to go to a funeral with me!

15) He listens to you talk about past relationships

If a guy likes you, he’ll want to listen to how your past relationships were, how things went wrong, and how things went right. He’ll want to hear about what made you happy and sad and will want to share these experiences with you.

He’ll listen carefully so that he doesn’t make the same mistakes your ex did.

He’ll open up and talk about his past with you.

But a guy who is only interested in sex will try and keep his past a secret. He won’t want you to know about his many conquests because he’s trying to trick you into thinking he’s a nice guy.

16) His compliments are sincere

On the one hand, if a guy likes you, his compliments are genuine. He won’t be flirting with you hoping that you’ll fall for him.

Instead, he’ll genuinely be interested in what you have to say and will really take the time to listen to your opinion.

He won’t just compliment your looks but will appreciate your personality, how smart and funny you are, and how much fun you are to be around.

He’ll be proud to tell his friends and family about you and will make sure that they get to know you too.

On the other hand, if a guy just wants sex, his compliments won’t be sincere, he’ll just try to flatter you to get into your pants.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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