You never planned to sleep with him.
You were out. There was (perhaps) alcohol involved. He was attracted to you and you felt the same.
Before you knew it, one thing led to another and you found yourself back at his place/your place/a hotel room.
And just like that you are having a one-night stand.
But to you, it felt like much more than just sex.
There was a connection – wasn’t there?
You have woken up the next day with your head in a cloud of fog and can’t stop thinking about him. There is one question running through your head: does he like me?
Here are 8 signs this might be more than just a one- night stand.
When emotions get in the way of a one-night stand
It’s no secret that women are the more emotional species.
In fact, catching feelings after a one-night stand is completely normal. And it isn’t just reserved for the women!
Though women tend to go into it already attached, whereas men are concerned about just one thing… and the feelings can develop as a result.
No matter how he ends up feeling about you, it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings for what they are. There’s nothing wrong with liking the guy, and it can actually make the whole experience much more enjoyable.
After all, what’s the fun in sex if you aren’t even interested in the guy?
At the same time, liking him doesn’t mean you’re destined for a relationship either.
Sometimes it is just a physical attraction, and other times it was just in-the-moment passion.
Put some distance between you and the one-night stand and consider whether your emotions were in the moment, or are lasting.
If it’s the latter, then it’s time to work out whether he might feel the same.
I had a one-night stand and feel guilty
This is another common emotion to come out of a one-night stand.
In fact, studies have been done about it. Naturally, they’ve shown that women are more likely to feel guilt after having a one-night stand. No surprises there!
Why is it that guys seem to be able to live for the moment and move on so much more easily?
According to one of the study’s authors, Professor Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, there are a number of reasons you might be feeling this way:
- There was no sexual satisfaction.
- Fear of pregnancy.
- Fear of STIs.
- Fear of getting yourself a bad reputation.
These are all valid concerns, but don’t let them weigh on you. What’s done is done and it’s time to let it go and move on.
Of course, if you’re worried about STIs or pregnancy, go and see your GP and get their advice.
As far as your reputation goes: own it. You know he will! After all, we’ve all been there (or at least enough of us have).
8 signs he likes you after a one-night stand
1) You’ve triggered this instinct
After a one-night stand, there are certain behaviors that are a giveaway that he likes you.
Did he check in on you the next day to make sure you’re okay? Did he try to help you in any way? Heck, did he even insist on paying for your Uber ride home?
These are all small signs that you’ve triggered his hero instinct.
The hero instinct is a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
And it goes to the heart of why men develop romantic feelings for some women, even those they’ve just met.
Simply put, men want to be an everyday hero to the woman he cares about. He wants to step up to the plate and help her whenever he can.
This is deeply rooted in his biology.
To learn the words you can use, phrases you can say, and texts you can send to trigger the hero instinct in a guy, check out this excellent free video.
I don’t often buy into popular new concepts in psychology or recommend videos. However, I think the hero instinct can be a game changer when it comes to developing a relationship with a man in the weeks and months after a one night stand.
2) He makes plans with you
Let’s keep things simple here, if a guy is into you, he’s going to go out of his way to see you again.
A one-night stand is a perfect opportunity for you both to go your separate ways and never see each other again.
This is the exact basis of a one-night stand. You both get what you want out of the night and move on.
If he is busy arranging a second date, it’s because he sees you as more than that.
He’s felt a connection and wants to pursue it further.
If another date is in the works, then it’s safe to say this guy likes you. A lot.
3) He adds you on social media
While he may not have out of his way to organize a second date or send you a text the next day, you suddenly notice a new friend request from him on social media.
There really is no greater sign of post-hook-up devotion than marking than a follow on Instagram or friends on Facebook.
He wants to connect and to know more about you.
Being friends on social media is a great way to gauge the relationship if you decide to move ahead. If he hasn’t blocked you, it’s a good sign he’s still into you.
Plus, you have the opportunity to block or delete him at any point if it doesn’t work out.
4) He tells you so
Some guys tend to be quite upfront when it comes to feelings.
He may stop you in your tracks on the walk of shame and tell you he’s interested and wants to see you again.
He won’t make you think twice about how he feels about you. He’s open and honest and ready to hear if those feelings are shared. In some cases, he may choose to pursue anyway to win you over.
On the other hand, if he avoids the topic and rushes you out the door the next morning, you can be sure he’s done and ready to move on – separately.
5) He makes you breakfast
We’ve all seen it in the movies. The girl slides out of bed in the early hours of the morning, dresses herself in silence, and tries to tiptoe out the door before he wakes. Or it could be the guy doing this walk of shame.
But then there’s the other side to it. The guy who wakes before her and climbs out of bed tosecond date.
This is the relationship guy. This is the guy who has feelings for you.
A guy isn’t going to waste his efforts on someone he isn’t interested in.
If you find yourself enjoy a cup of coffee and some bacon and eggs the next morning, you’re onto something.
If you’re not keen on a relationship, then it’s time to make a hasty exit.
6) He texts you
One-night stands have earned themselves this name for the simple fact it encompasses what they are: one night.
If he is texting you the next day, it has already turned into something more. And he has made the first move.
With a true one-night stand, you can expect silence the next day. Or, at most a text in the morning thanking you for the previous night – that’s it. He‘s unlikely to want to stay in contact since it was simply sex for him, no strings attached.
If the message is more than a ‘Thanks for a great night’ and instead of a ‘Good morning’ text, then it would seem he likes you.
If you’d like to lift your texting game back to him, read on.
Hollywood screenwriters are famous for using “attention hooks” to draw audiences into their TV shows and movies.
Have you ever been so hooked on a show that you couldn’t stop watching it?
Something at the end of each episode made you click “Watch Next Episode”. Almost as if you couldn’t help yourself.
Relationship expert Amy North has adapted the same Hollywood techniques for texting men.
As you’ll see in this video, text messages with attention hooks tap directly into the focus system of a man’s brain.
When you send these texts to him after a one night stand, you’ll pop into his head again and again throughout his day. He won’t be able to shake you from his mind.
7) His body language tells you so
Pay close attention to the way he acts around you.
- Did he cuddle you all night after sex?
- Does he blush in front of you?
- Does he make eye contact when he talks to you?
- Is he always smiling?
These signs suggest he is interested in you. I mean, he can’t keep his eyes off you!
8) The conversation flows
While a one-night stand is primarily about sex, there can sometimes be more to it.
Perhaps after the sex is done, you spend the rest of your night talking about each other.
He not only listens but also contributes to the conversation.
Think about it: he could simply roll over and go to sleep now. That’s the arrangement, right?
If he is happy to stay up talking, he sees something in you.
It’s also important to pay attention to the type of questions he is asking you. If he is delving into your family, siblings, and who you are as a person, it’s because he wants to get to know you.
If it’s general questions about what you do, he is likely just being polite.
Signs you like him after a one-night stand
Working out whether or not he’s interested in you is one thing, but then you need to determine exactly how you feel.
It can be confusing since you’ve already been intimate together.
Are your feelings a result of that intimacy, or is there something deeper?
Here are some signs you might be falling for your one-night stand – or at least interested in pursuing it further:
1) You can’t wait to tell your girlfriends
Let’s face it, after going through the walk of shame the last thing you want to do is ring up your girlfriends and admit it.
That is unless you like the guy…
If your first impulse is to ring your girlfriends and tell them all about it, it’s because he was much more than just a one-night stand to you.
You felt a connection, and he may have even told you how he felt.
This is a good sign you both want something more.
2) You trigger his hero instinct
If you like a guy and want the one night stand to lead to a relationship, you’ll trigger his hero instinct.
Reading this article may be the first time you’ve heard of this concept. I only learned about it a few months ago – but it’s already been a game changer in my relationship.
But the little things you do to trigger the hero instinct actually come pretty naturally.
Did you give his ego a boost after sleeping with him? Like compliment his prowess? Tell him how good you felt being with him?
These are all small things that will trigger something inside him and make him see you in a whole new light.
If you want to learn the things you can say and texts you can send to trigger the hero instinct, check out this excellent free video.
3) You kiss him before you leave
When you’re on your way out the door and about to do the walk of shame, the last thing on your mind is kissing the guy. You probably did enough of that the previous night in the heat of the moment.
Now is your time to make a swift exit. You’re simply looking to make your escape as quickly as possible while thinking through the best route home.
If you do find yourself going in for that kiss, it’s highly likely you feel more for him.
4) You ask about his life
When you’re done with the sex… what next?
Did you both fall into a deep sleep, or did you find yourself asking him questions about his life? We mentioned above that him asking questions after sex is a sign he’s into you. But what about if it’s the other way around?
Small talk that turns into talking about family and relationships is uncharted territory for a one-night stand.
On principle, it’s best to know as little about each other as possible, to make the break as clean as possible.
If you find yourself wanting to know these things, it’s because you’re into him. If he responds, then it’s likely that feeling is mutual.
5) You’re already thinking about introducing him to the family
Woah, slow down there. You only just slept with the guy!
Of course, we won’t be telling grandma that’s how the two of you met…
Don’t worry, it’s only natural to consider what your family might think of the guy if you’re interested in him. After all, there’s no higher form of approval.
If your head has taken you down this route, it’s a sign that you’re feeling something more.
Maybe arrange a couple more dates before the meeting-the-family takes place. This way you will have some more stories to share with grandma.
6) You message him straight away
We all know, the general rule is to sit back and see if he messages.
But what if you can’t help it and decide to be the first one to message?
After all, you don’t want to leave things to chance.
He either likes you, or he doesn’t. But you want to make sure he knows exactly where you stand on this topic.
If you felt compelled to break the silence the next day and shoot over a text, something is likely driving this impulse.
Where to next?
At the end of the day there are three scenarios that could come of this:
- Friends with benefits
- Going your separate ways
How to be friends with benefits
You may have discovered through these signs that this guy is seriously into you.
But perhaps, all you’re after is a sex buddy.
Was the sex good?
Has it left you wanting more?
You may not be after a relationship. You’re just in it for the sex.
Nothing wrong with this at all, and you may be surprised to find out he feels exactly the same.
Instead of leading him into a relationship, be upfront and honest with him. It helps to make sure you’re both on the same page with this.
The great part is, this conversation is an easy one to have with a one-night stand. You have already ripped off the bandaid and experience each other in bed – it’s a natural progression for your relationship.
Keep it light, keep it flirty and be honest.
Remember, you’re bringing as much into this relationship as he is, so value yourself and what you have to offer.
How to date a one-night stand
On the other hand, you may be after a relationship and keen to see if he feels the same.
If you have read the signs above and are fairly certain he is into you, then it’s time to encourage the relationship.
If you haven’t already organized another date, then now is your chance.
Make sure your texts steer him away from another booty call, and hint at the idea of a date together.
You can do this by making yourself unavailable at night times, but suggesting a day-time catch up instead.
Steering the conversation in this direction is the hint he needs to know where you’re going with this relationship.
How to get over a one-night stand
Alternatively, after making your way through the signs above, it may be more obvious than ever that this guy just isn’t that into you.
It can be a kick in the guy, especially if you were hoping for more. Here are some ways to help you move on:
1) Delete, delete, delete
Now you know he isn’t into you, it’s time to delete him from everywhere. Delete his phone number, delete him from Facebook/Instagram/TikTok and anywhere else he may be.
It’s much easier to move on when you aren’t seeing him every single day.
Look after yourself and put yourself first. Once you know he’s not interested, it’s time for him to go.
2) Sign up for some dating apps
He may not be into a relationship, but doesn’t mean you can’t find one for yourself.
It’s time to download those dating apps and get out there. The best way to get over someone is to move on with someone else.
Making connections with other guys is a sure way to get over your one-night stand. In a matter of time, he will be long forgotten.
3) Distract yourself
We quite often get caught up in a one-night stand because it’s all we can think about.
A good distraction is just what you need to help you move on.
Organize a night out with the girls, take up a hobby, or make weekend plans to keep you busy.
With your mind far away from the one-night stand, you’ll find any feelings you once hand will slowly start to disappear.
At the end of the day, the idea of a one-night stand is to be a single, sexual encounter with no contact afterward.
If this is what eventuates, don’t take it to heart. This is what you signed up for!
If he’s interested, work out where you stand and what type of relationship you want from him.
There’s no harm in giving it a shot if that’s what you both want!
The real reason why men pull away
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