Being cheated on is the worst, believe me, I know.
While sometimes a cheater will feel bad and regret what they did, lots of times they won’t even realize the pain they’ve inflicted on you.
If you want your cheater to feel bad, there are ways to hurt them and hopefully, make them learn from their mistakes.
Here are 13 surefire ways to hurt a cheater’s feelings.
Let’s jump right in:
1) End the relationship
If you aren’t able to go back to trusting your partner again, the relationship is only heading down a destructive path.
While it’s possible to forgive your partner for cheating on you and continue to have a loving relationship with them, it’s not always easy or possible.
It’s ok to throw in the towel if you’re unable to forgive them. After all, cheating is the ultimate betrayal and sign of disrespect.
Instead of pretending that you’re over it while your heart fills up with resentment, say goodbye.
It’s easier than you think, and you can walk away knowing that you stayed true to yourself.
In the end, you’ll be able to walk away from the relationship with your head held high, and you’ll have no regrets, while your cheating partner will think twice about ever cheating on anyone again.
2) Change up your look and feel attractive again
One way to make a cheater feel bad is to look good and feel good, even after what they did to you!
A way to make yourself feel beautiful again is to change up your look!
Change your hair, add some new jewelry, get a new nail design, or do something else to make yourself feel like the best version of yourself again.
This is a great way to get back at someone who’s made you feel less of yourself.
3) Find your confidence again
One of the best ways to hurt a cheater is to regain your confidence and self-esteem.
If you’ve been feeling terrible about yourself since your partner cheated on you, you need to find a way to build yourself up again.
Start by surrounding yourself with positive people and participating in activities that make you happy again.
Go on a date, rediscover your interests and hobbies, and do something you love each week to give yourself a confidence boost. When you’ve regained your confidence, you’ll be able to hurt them in ways they can’t even imagine.
And listen, while I hope that you find this article useful, I know that every relationship is unique and that nothing beats talking to a professional about your problem.
When my boyfriend cheated on me I didn’t know what to do. I was too ashamed to speak to my friends about it and all the blogs I read didn’t seem to have the solution I was looking for.
That’s when I heard about Relationship Hero. It’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches from various backgrounds help people work through complex relationship issues.
What made me try them out is the fact that most of them have a degree in psychology so I felt like I was in good hands.
Not only did the coach I spoke to help me understand the impact infidelity has on people, but they made me realize that my relationship had been in a rut for quite a while before my partner cheated.
With dozens of empathic professionals to choose from, you could be receiving life-changing relationship advice within minutes.
4) Throw all their sh**ty gifts out
You know how you can hurt your cheating partner’s feelings?
By throwing away all the gifts they ever gave you, that’s how!
These could be gifts they gave you before they cheated on you or even gifts they gave you to ease their guilt about cheating on you.
So what better way to get back at them than to throw all those gifts out? Whether it’s a necklace, bracelet, teddy bear, mug, or something else, throw it out.
You don’t need anything to remember them by!
5) Dump all their stuff in the yard
I know what you’re thinking. This is a bit extreme, but it’s a great way to get back at a cheater who’s made you feel like less than yourself.
You’ll be able to walk away with a clear conscience knowing that they don’t deserve any of your time or energy.
You can even invite family or friends to the dumping event so they can see you get rid of the things that represent your cheater’s presence in your life.
6) Make them feel guilty
If you’re feeling vengeful, you’ll want to make them feel guilty.
You don’t have to do this in an obvious way, but you can always find a way to make them feel bad.
For example, if you find out that your partner is cheating on you, instead of confronting them and lashing out at them, don’t say anything. Be extra sweet and nice, this will make them feel guilty about what they did to you.
You can make them feel guilty for hurting you, for making you feel less than yourself, and for doing something that was wrong no matter how they justify it to themselves.
7) Limit your communication and contact with them
If you want to get back at a cheater and teach them a lesson, limit your communication with them.
Let them know that you’re busy and that you would like them to not contact you.
Don’t be afraid to be blunt and to let them know that you aren’t interested in speaking with them, especially if they’re the type to beg for contact.
8) Go out and have fun
So call up your friends and go out and have fun. Focus on yourself and work on being happy.
Don’t worry about your cheater or what they’re doing.
They’re probably thinking that you’ll lock yourself away in your room and cry yourself to sleep for months. When they see how great you’re doing and that you’re over them, they’re sure to feel hurt.
9) Start dating again
If you’re ready to date again, that’s great!
But make sure you’re dating for the right reasons. If you’re just doing it to make your cheater jealous, that’s not healthy or a good idea.
Instead, make sure you’re dating because you want to find someone to share your life with, not because you want revenge. If you want revenge, that’s not the way to go about it. You want to use dating as a form of therapy.
It’s a great way to get out all your emotions and start feeling happy again! Plus, you’ll have someone to share your life with again who is not your cheater.
What’s more, once you start dating again it’s sure to hurt your cheater’s feelings. They’ll see all the love and attention you’re giving someone else and they’ll regret losing you.
10) Give them the cold shoulder
No matter how much of an as***le someone is, they’re still human. Humans need attention, affection, and love.
If you give your cheater the cold shoulder, not only will you hurt them, but their needs will go unmet. This is a great way to make them feel the way you’ve been feeling.
If they get upset because you’re not giving them attention, you’re on the right track!
Ignore them. If they want you to talk to them, don’t. Give them the cold shoulder and let them feel the way you’ve been feeling.
11) Block their number
If you’re still talking to your cheater, you’re giving them power over you. You’re keeping them close to you and giving them a way to hurt you again in the future. If you’re still keeping in touch and talking to your cheater, you need to stop.
If your cheater is calling you or messaging you, block their number.
You don’t have to talk to them. You don’t have to see them. You don’t have to be around them. You don’t have to have any contact with them whatsoever.
You don’t owe them anything.
Cut them out of your life completely if you can or at least limit your communication and contact with them.
By blocking their number and not responding to their texts, you’re telling them that they don’t matter.
Trust me, not only will you hurt their feelings, but you’ll have an easier time moving on from them if you cut off all communication.
12) Tell your mutual friends what happened
You have more power than you realize.
You can tell your mutual friends about what happened and how your partner hurt you. Tell them how they wronged you.
This will make them look bad and embarrass them in front of their friends.
13) Take a vacation
Finally, if you want to get back at a cheater and teach them a lesson, take a vacation where you re-discover yourself.
This can be a vacation with friends or family where you can truly relax and feel at peace. Or, it can be a solo trip where you can truly find yourself again.
Either way, it’s important to regroup and to find your inner confidence again so you can be the best you possible.
Healing from infidelity: How to forgive a cheater
If you’ve decided to give your cheating partner another chance then read on.
Cheating is one of the most painful and frightening experiences a person can go through in their relationship. It can lead to mistrust and constant fear that it will happen again.
Even if your partner has promised they won’t do it again, you may still feel betrayed.
Where do you even begin after something like this happens? How do you move forward from something so hurtful?
How do you let go of the anger and betrayal, or the fear of trusting again?
These are all important questions when moving on from cheaters, know that you are not alone.
Numerous relationships experience this difficult time, but it does not have to be permanent. You can forgive a cheater and rebuild trust again.
1) Be sure it’s what you want
The truth is that you can’t build a healthy relationship on a foundation of resentment.
If you want to move on, you want to be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. If your partner is truly sorry for what they did and wants to move past it, forgiveness is essential.
However, if your partner is still in denial about their infidelity, or is simply sorry because they got caught and want to continue to cheat, being with them will only hurt you.
Be sure it’s what you want before you choose to forgive a cheater. Forgiveness is not only for the cheater, but also for yourself.
You should also know that it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be hurt. If you don’t let yourself go through those emotions, they will only fester and come out at a later time.
Letting go of the anger doesn’t mean condoning the behavior, it simply means releasing the negative feelings associated with the experience.
2) Take time to heal
When you begin to forgive a cheater, take time to heal. Your partner’s infidelity doesn’t just disappear because they said they are sorry.
You have to go through the process of grieving what happened and healing from it. This may vary from person to person, but it is an essential part of moving on from infidelity.
During this time, avoid dwelling on the past. Keep yourself busy so you aren’t constantly thinking about what happened. Take care of yourself and your mental health.
You may not be ready to talk to your partner about what happened. That’s okay, too. Take as much time as you need to come to terms with what happened.
Be open to talking about it when you are ready and not a moment sooner. Let your partner know you appreciate their patience and that you aren’t ready to talk yet, but you will be when you’re ready.
3) Deal with the emotions that come with infidelity
When you forgive a cheater, you have to start by dealing with the emotions that are associated with infidelity.
This may include things like anger, sadness, resentment, and fear. You may also have feelings of shame, guilt, and/or disappointment.
The important thing is to let those emotions out and recognize they are normal and natural. They are a part of the process of coming to terms with the infidelity and deciding to move forward.
There are many ways you can deal with the emotions that are a part of infidelity. You can write in a journal, talk to a friend or family member, paint, go for a walk, do yoga, or meditate.
The important part is to find an outlet for your emotions so they don’t eat you up inside and make you bitter.
And hey, don’t be embarrassed if you need some help dealing with your emotions. If, like me, you don’t feel comfortable speaking to your friends about what happened, then talk to a relationship coach.
You don’t have to go through this alone.
Go on Relationship Hero’s website and find a relationship coach that speaks to you – there are so many different ones to choose from.
Trust me, you’ll get the advice you need from someone who is both professional and compassionate.
I wouldn’t be recommending them if they hadn’t been so helpful with my problem.
4) Ask yourself if they’re being sincere in their apology
As you begin to forgive a cheater, it’s important to ask yourself if your partner is being sincere in their apology.
Is this something they’re just saying because they got caught? Are they truly sorry for their actions or are they sorry they got caught?
It’s normal to be skeptical of your partner’s intentions, especially if they have a history of infidelity.
Take your time, and when (and if) you’re ready, you can move forward from the infidelity.
5) Rebuilding trust will take time
Hey, rebuilding trust takes time.
The cheater may want to move forward quickly and put the infidelity behind them, but it’s not that simple. You’ve been hurt and betrayed, this is not something you can just get over overnight.
It’s important for you to take your time. You have to be ready to move forward, and you have to be comfortable with the pace at which your relationship moves.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get there, as long as you’re moving forward.
One way to move forward is by creating a contract with your partner.
A contract is a verbal agreement where you both outline what you expect from each other moving forward. This can be anything from a promise not to hook up with an ex to a schedule for quality time together.
Whatever you agree on is up to you. It’s a way to create structure and accountability in your relationship and give you something concrete to hold onto as you rebuild trust.
6) Think about what you want
When you forgive a cheater, it’s important to think about what you want moving forward.
- Do you want the relationship to end?
- Do you want to end the relationship but remain friends?
- Do you want to work to save the relationship?
- Do you want to try to rebuild the relationship as a new relationship?
It’s important to think about what you want moving forward and what you feel comfortable with. There are no right answers. You get to decide what’s best for you and your relationship moving forward.
If you decide you want to end the relationship, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You get to decide what’s best for you and your future.
7) Commit to honesty and communication
You need to be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling, what you’re ready for, and what you need from them.
You can’t expect your partner to know what you need if you don’t tell them. It may feel like you’re being too pushy, but you need to be honest about what’s going on for you.
Communication is not one way, though. It’s important for your partner to be honest with you, too. They need to let you know what’s going on with them and what they need from you.
This is especially important when you’re working to rebuild trust.
8) Be proud of yourself for discovering the truth
When you forgive a cheater, it’s important to be proud of yourself for discovering the truth.
You went through a traumatic and difficult experience, but you came out on the other side stronger and more confident in your relationship.
You know what happened, you know what your partner did, and you know how you want to move forward from it.
Take pride in yourself for discovering the truth. You may feel like you failed or like you didn’t protect yourself enough.
You may feel like you just didn’t do enough. This is normal, but you need to realize that you did everything you could at the time and that you don’t have control over their choice to cheat.
9) Forgiving a cheater doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing their actions
Remember that forgiving someone for their actions doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing their actions.
It doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened and move forward as if it never happened, or that you have to let your partner off the hook without consequences.
Forgiveness is a choice you make, and it’s important for your partner to recognize that.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.