How to give a guy confidence to ask you out: 15 secret tips!

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What is a guy supposed to do when he likes you and wants to ask you out, but is too nervous? 

Every girl deals with this at some point in time.

I also had to experience that situation more than once

But don’t worry, girl! 

In this post, I am going to share with you 15 secret tips on how to give a guy confidence to ask you out.

1) Communicate to show you care

If you want to make a guy you like to feel comfortable enough to ask you out, the best thing you can do is communicate with him.

 Whether that’s through texts, Snapchat, or phone calls — communicating with a guy shows him that you care enough about the relationship that you want to stay in touch. 

It also shows him that you think about him and aren’t just interested in him as a potential hookup. 

Going out of your way to actively stay in contact with him will show that you are invested and excited to see him again. 

It will also provide you with a great opportunity to subtly express interest in him as well.

If you don’t initiate contact, there is zero chance that he will be the one to ask you out. 

So even if your plan is just to be friendly at first, it’s important that you get the ball rolling by initiating contact of some kind.

2) Break the ice by asking personal questions

When you first meet a guy that you’re interested in, it can be really awkward because neither of you really knows how to break the ice. 

So if you want to give him the confidence to ask you out, ask him a personal question in an effort to start a conversation. 

You can ask him where he went last weekend or what he got his dog for Christmas.

The more personalized and specific your question is, the better. 

For example, “What music are you listening to?” is a more engaging question than “What music do you like?”. 

The more engaging a question is, the better chance it has of making the guy feel comfortable enough to open up. 

If he opens up to you, that makes him feel comfortable around you which makes him voluntarily ask you out.

3) Send a casual compliment

Believe us, it’s worth it!

Communicating with a guy involves more than just saying “hey” and “thanks.” 

To give a guy confidence to ask you out, you should be sending him little messages as well. 

So if you see a guy doing something cute (or even just wearing something really cute) comment on it! 

The best way to let a guy know how much you like him is by simply saying nice things about him. 

It doesn’t require effort because all he has to do is hear the words and they mean something completely different in his mind. 

For example, let’s say he has a tattoo on his arm. How can you show him that you noticed and appreciated it? Well, by sending him a compliment about it.

If your first goal is to make him feel comfortable around you, then a good way to do this is by telling him how cool the tattoo looks when he shows it off to his friends. 

This will let him know that he has something special about him (unlike most girls who think tattoos are ugly) and set the stage for future compliments about other things he does well like his taste in music or his athletic abilities.

And even if you don’t say anything, the fact that you noticed him and noticed something about him is enough to make him feel good.

4) Wear make-up

You know what? 

When asked to give advice on how to give a guy confidence to ask you out, make-up pro-Katie Jane Hughes recommends wearing makeup. “It makes the girl more confident and will make her feel good about herself. It gives a subtle hint to the guy that you’re interested.”

And if you’re going for a certain look, maybe consider changing your hair too. 

If a guy looks at your face and thinks you are pretty but he can’t remember what color your eyes are, that doesn’t bode well for his ability to approach you afterward.

Wearing makeup also makes you stand out, and that can make a guy feel very flattered. 

In fact, some guys are so flabbergasted by your sudden beauty that they will immediately ask if you’ve always been beautiful.

5) Become a fan of his music or sport

Does a guy you like like to play guitar or does he play on a sports team? 

Doing something that’s a favorite pastime of his will show him that you really do pay attention to the things he likes. 

It also shows that you are familiar with these things and can relate to him on some level. 

Seeking out knowledge about what he is into makes it seem as though you are very invested in getting to know him

And if he sees you getting excited over the things that he is excited about, it’ll make him feel more comfortable around you.

Doing something in common shows a guy that you are interested in him on multiple levels. 

And being interested in someone is what a guy most wants! 

It also shows that you make an effort to do things with him, rather than crashing into his life uninvited.

6) Make him feel like an everyday hero

Sometimes it’s hard for a guy to find the confidence to ask you out because he might worry that you’re going to reject him. 

Make him feel like your everyday hero by telling him about a time that he helped you out and how you appreciate him. 

And that is how you trigger his inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

Maybe you have heard about this before. But to practice it, we need some guidelines. 

And you know what? It’s really simple. We just need to know where to start.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and has the confidence to ask you out. 

Click here to watch the free video.

7) Send him a gift

We all know that it’s important to send a guy something if you like the guy. 


Well, this can be an effective way of showing that you like him, and it takes very little effort on your part. 

If you don’t have something specific in mind, then just pick something up from his favorite sports team or music artist (or even from his favorite movie or book).

I would suggest sending something for the holidays, even if it’s just a Christmas card in June.

And if he takes the time to open up the present and enjoy it, then he’ll know that you got it just for him and also took the time to put some thought into choosing it.

8) Share a dream

This is one of the most effective ways to make a guy feel comfortable enough to ask you out. 

All you have to do is find out what his dream is and then share it with him. 

Is he interested in getting a fast car? If so, then you share that with him and ask if he’s ever thought about getting one.

Sometimes talking about your dreams can be a bit awkward because it brings about the question “what is it that you want to do with your life?”. 

However, sharing a dream with him can make him feel really good about himself and shows an interest in what he’s doing.

It also shows that you are interested in the guy for more than just his look. 

And if you both have the same dreams, then it can make the guy feel like a good match.

9) Be a little flirty

If you want to give a guy confidence to ask you out, you may have to flirt a little bit. And in case you’re not sure how to do this, here is a quick guide on how to flirt like a pro.

First off, avoid “negging” — which is when you say something negative about yourself when the guy says something positive about himself. 

It’s important that the conversation stays positive, and if he starts bragging about himself, just smile and ignore it. 

You can also let him know that he has nice arms or shoulders or that his hair looks good in whatever he’s wearing at the time. 

If he compliments you, make sure to let him know how great he’s doing by complimenting him again.

The truth is, understanding men is much easier than most women realize – we tend to overcomplicate things a lot.

This is what I learned from relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology and what men want from a relationship.

In this free video, there will be more examples of how you can use flirting to make him feel good and have the confidence to ask you out. 

10) Dress to impress

Looks are important, that’s a well-known fact of life.

If you want to give a guy confidence to ask you out, dressing up can be a big help. 

For example, if he likes casual clothes and hardly ever wears a shirt that sparkles or anything other than jeans, then maybe it’s time to take your hair out of the bun and shake up your wardrobe with something a little more feminine but still not too much. 

Being dressed up when needed will make him feel more comfortable around you, and we all know that being confident is related to how much comfort we feel.

So if you want him to feel comfortable asking you out, wear something that’s flattering, as well as something that shows off your personality.

11) Have frequent eye contact

Why do I say this? 

A common mistake that girls make when they are trying to give a guy confidence to ask them out is that they don’t have eye contact with him much. 

I had the same mistake when I was with my first crush. I was too shy to look him in the eyes. 

And I only realized that when we first started dating! He was always looking at me with those piercing eyes, staring for hours and making me feel like he was trying to look right into my soul. 

It took a while before I noticed that my eyes just didn’t want to look away from him. And it wasn’t just me that felt this way. One of our friends even had the same experience.

That is when I know the magic of eye contact. 

If you keep looking away, then there is a big chance he will think that you aren’t interested in him. And that would kill his confidence to ask you out. 

But still, it can also quickly turn into a staring contest, which again doesn’t give the guy confidence to ask you out. 

It’s a good idea to have frequent eye contact with a guy because it makes him feel as though you are interested in him. 

And if he is interested in you, he will be willing to approach you and ask for your number. 

So if you want to give a guy confidence to ask you out, remember that when he looks at you, make sure to return the favor and look back at him often.

12) Slug him in the arm

This is a tactic that worked for me and I’ve never heard of anyone else doing this, so I thought it would be worth mentioning here.

If none of these things work and he still hasn’t worked up the courage to ask you out on a date yet, slug him in the arm. 

Recent studies have shown that when a girl slugs a guy in the arm, he feels an overwhelming amount of affection for her. 

Apparently, guys just LOVE this kind of thing. 

When you slug him, you’re just being physical and expressing your interest in him. 

You’re also letting him know that you don’t take no for an answer so he better makes up his mind faster.

13) Be honest and straightforward with your intentions

When you’re trying to give a guy confidence to ask you out, one of the worst things you can do is play games. 

If he’s interested in you but too shy to ask, it is definitely not a good idea to make him guess. 

Let him know in no uncertain terms that you like him and that he should go for it.

Be upfront and honest with your intentions and just let him know how you feel! 

If he feels the same way, then he will be able to get over his shyness very quickly because now all of his focus will be on how excited he is that this other person likes him back.

14) Be respectful, but be yourself

It’s important that you be respectful and genuinely interested in the guy, but you don’t want to be so fake in your interactions that he gets a bad vibe. 

So while it is often best not to lead a guy on, you should also make sure to communicate what kind of person you are and what kind of relationship you want.

For example, if he likes indie music and makes jokes about it at his job, assure him that your favorite bands are pop-punk and the Eagles. 

If that seems too boring, find something more interesting — such as a drawing class — because being yourself is important for the relationship

If you are yourself, he’ll see that you aren’t fake and should feel more confident in approaching you.

That would make more sense, right? 

15) Help him see the benefits of dating you

Maybe he’s always wanted to ask you out but is still a little intimidated. 

It would be helpful if a guy has clear reasons as to why he should spend time with you. 

But even if this is the case, he may still feel hesitant because he doesn’t know if you are interested in him either.

It can be incredibly hard to break through that initial barrier when you don’t feel good about yourself. 

Remember, you should be upfront with him about what kind of relationship you want at some point in the future, so make sure that you communicate this to him now too. 

If he likes you enough to ask how you are doing or what is going on with your life, it only makes sense that he wants to know your intentions as well.

So tell him that from your perspective, dating is a logical step in the relationship and helps build something special between the two of you.

Get him thinking about the future by saying things like:

“We obviously want to be close friends, but eventually we’ll want to date and spend time with each other. So why not start building that foundation now?”


“I know this may seem crazy, but I think we are good enough of friends already that it would be the natural next step.”

If he isn’t sure how you feel, remind him how good of a time you had together last time you two were hanging out.

If he didn’t ask you out then, remind him that an opportunity like that may not come again.


Do you really want to give a guy confidence to ask you out?

If you do, we just talked about quite a lot of ways that you can make that happen. 

These tactics will help boost his confidence and take away any nervousness so that he feels more at ease around you. 

As a result, he will have many more opportunities to ask you out and start something special. 

There’s no reason why your life needs to be any less exciting than what it is right now. 

So, simply put, if you want to give a guy confidence to ask you out, follow these tips and you will have a more relaxed and fun time when you’re out with him.

Then remember, the best way to give confidence to a guy is by being confident yourself

So take the steps necessary to boost your inner confidence and be secure that he will feel that too. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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