16 ways to get your ex boyfriend back when he broke up with you

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If you’ve been dumped by your boyfriend, you might feel like your world has ended. The ache in your chest might feel like it will never go away. 

But no matter how hurt or angry you are about being dumped, the sooner you can get past the pain, the sooner you can get your ex boyfriend back. 

You see, even though he broke up with you and rejected your love, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still care about you. 

There are many ways to win an ex back when he broke up with you, but they all require time and patience on your part. 

Here are 16 tips on how to get your ex back when he broke up with you – so that one day very soon, the two of you can be together again.

1) Don’t beg or plead for what you want

Yes, it’s human nature to plead and beg for what you want, but pleading and begging will not get your ex boyfriend back. 

He probably broke up with you because he didn’t feel he could trust or depend on you – so your begging and pleading for him to take you back will only make it worse. 

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back when he broke up with you, pleading and begging will only make you look desperate, needy, and pathetic. 

In turn, desperate, needy, and pathetic people aren’t attractive to anyone – let alone the person they want back in their lives.

What you need to do is show him that you’re strong and confident and that you don’t need him. Find a way to let him know that you don’t need his validation or approval to be happy. 

And eventually, he’ll come back to you because he’ll have no choice but to admit that he’s made a mistake and that he wants you and only you in his life.

2) Use reverse psychology

If you’ve been dumped by your boyfriend and you’re wondering how to get him back, you might consider reverse psychology. 

But what exactly is reverse psychology?

Well, it’s basically doing and saying the opposite of what you’re actually thinking and feeling – just to get the result you actually want. 

For example, if your boyfriend broke up with you and said that you didn’t deserve a second chance, you could tell him that you don’t want another chance.

This type of psychology is used a lot in sales and marketing, so why shouldn’t it work just as well in getting your ex boyfriend back?

The truth is that it works. However, before you start using reverse psychology, you need to be 100% sure that you want to get back together with him.

If your ex boyfriend broke up with you because he’d gotten bored, or if he didn’t like the direction your relationship was heading, then reverse psychology might work – because it will lead him to believe that he wants you back.

3) Show him that you’re over him

How to get him back when he broke up with you?

Well, first of all, let him know that you’re not hung up on him anymore. And then show him that you’re over him by doing things that will bring you confidence and help you move on. 

Start doing things that make you happy again; like hanging out with your friends, taking up a new hobby, taking up a new sport, going on short trips, etc. 

You could even go out on a few dates with other guys. 

The more you show him that you’re moving on, the more he’ll want you back. And don’t worry about getting back together with your ex boyfriend – it’ll happen naturally when the time is right for both of you.

4) Get tailor-made advice for your situation

I know what you’re going through with your ex boyfriend because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead-end, too.

I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out. 

I was ready to let him go, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach. 

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand what I was doing wrong and how to fix my relationship.

This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.

My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve things between me and him.

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again. 

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.

5) Be the best friend you can be

If you’ve been dumped by your boyfriend and want to get him back, you need to be the best friend you can be. 

Think about it – when someone is hurting, who do they usually turn to? Someone they love and trust, of course.

Most people turn to their friends when they’re hurting and need someone to talk to. 

So if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, be the best friend you can be. You don’t have to do anything fancy to show your ex boyfriend that you care about him and are there for him when he needs a friend. 

Just be there for him when he needs someone to talk to and to listen to him when he’s upset about something that’s going on in his life.

However, if he starts talking to you about other girls, change your strategy.

6) Show him what he’s missing

Regardless of why your ex boyfriend broke up with you, what you need to do to get him back is remind him of the things he’s missing out on.

You need to show him that you are better and more attractive than ever before. 


You can do this by improving yourself. Start by enhancing your self-confidence. This can be done by working on your self-esteem, boosting your self-esteem, and improving your self-image. 

You can also improve your communication skills, learn how to improve your relationships and work on your social skills. 

And while you’re working on improving yourself, don’t get too hung up on your ex boyfriend. 

Yes, it’s normal to think about getting back together with your ex boyfriend, but don’t obsess about him. 

Try to focus on yourself and what you want to do, who you want to become, and who you want to be.

Sooner rather than later, he’ll notice how much better you are than before, and he’ll want to get back together with you.

7) Show him you can be trustworthy and dependable

Was your trustworthiness or dependability a problem in your relationship? If so, you need to repair those problems fast. Don’t just say the words; do the actions. 

What actions? 

Well, first of all, show your ex boyfriend that you can be trusted. 

Next, show him that you’re dependable.

How? By…

… doing what you said you’d do.

… being on time.

… being reliable and consistent.

If he thinks you can be trusted, dependable, and that you’re worth getting back together with, then the chances are good that he’ll want to see you again; whether it’s for lunch, dinner, or even just for a coffee. 

8) Trigger one of his innate drives

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back when he broke up with you, then you need to trigger one of his innate drives. 

What is an innate drive?

An innate drive is a powerful psychological force that impels us to behave in a certain way. 

With this in mind, let me tell you about a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger your ex boyfriend’s hero instinct? 

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give him what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

You are one click away from getting him back.

9) Let him miss you

Here’s another thing you could do to get your ex boyfriend back when he broke up with you: let him miss you.

By doing so, his mind will wander and he’ll start thinking things like, “I miss her so much.” And “I want to be with her again.”

You should also…

… give him the space and freedom he needs.

… show him that you’re happy without him.

… show him that you’re not desperate or needy and that you don’t need his validation or approval to be happy. 

I know this is hard, but if you can manage to just leave him alone for a while, he’ll eventually miss you.

And after a while, he’ll want to be with you again.

10) Show him there’s a lot to gain by getting back together

Do you still want him back?

Then show him that he has a lot to gain by getting back together with you. 

This can be done in a number of ways:

  • Show him you’re attractive
  • Show him you are skilled
  • Show him you can make him feel good
  • Show him that you’re committed to him
  • Show him that you can have a future together
  • Show him that you can make him laugh
  • Show him that you can be serious, too
  • Show him that you understand him
  • Show him that you’re not going to nag him 

However, don’t expect him to notice all these aspects overnight. 

It may take a while for him to see that you have these qualities, so don’t get discouraged. Just keep showing him what a great person you are. 

11) Show him that there’s a lot to lose by not getting back together with you

How can you get your ex boyfriend back?

Well, by showing him that there’s a lot to lose by not getting back together with you. 

Again, you can do this in a number of ways: 

  • Don’t offer him as much attention
  • Don’t help him with every little thing he needs
  • Don’t be available to him all the time
  • Don’t be as nice or accommodating
  • Don’t be as considerate about his wants and needs 

But don’t stop there. It’s also important that you… 

… make it look like your life is going really well without him. 

… make it look like you’re happy without him.

12) Show him you’re fun and exciting to be around

If your boyfriend broke up with you and you want to get him back, then do this: show him that you’re fun and exciting to be around. 

Nothing is more attractive than someone who is fun and exciting to be around. So, if he wants a passionate relationship filled with excitement, he needs to get back together with you – which will give him what he wants. 

You can do this by being adventurous in the way that you live your life. You can also do this by being interested in the same things as him, and allowing your interests to shine through. 

Being open and fun-loving will give you a huge advantage over other girls, as well.

13) Find out what he wants and give it to him

Do you want him back when he broke up with you? If so, then find out what he wants, and then give it to him. 

You have to make sure to find out exactly what he’s looking for and then give him that. For example, if he’s looking for someone who will take care of his needs and make him happy, then that’s what you need to give him. 

If he wants someone who will be extremely affectionate with him, then that’s what you need to do. Or, if he wants someone with a great sense of humor and who’s always up for a good time, then that’s what you need to give him. 

What’s more, if he wants someone who knows how to have fun, then that’s what you need to be. And if he wants someone who will give him all of her attention, then that’s what you need to do.

14) Do everything in your power to improve yourself and make yourself more valuable

What should you work on to get your ex boyfriend back? Yourself, of course!

There are two main ways to do this:

  • You can work on your self-esteem, improve your self-confidence and boost your self-image. This will make you feel more attractive and confident, which will allow you to be the best version of yourself possible. 
  • You can also work on your social skills and your communication skills. This will make you more fun-loving and outgoing, which will make you more attractive and appealing to people. 

What else?

You can also learn how to be happier and more excited about life. This will help you look at your situation in a more positive manner.

15) Use the law of attraction to bring him back

The law of attraction allows you to attract more of what you want into your life. If you’ve been dumped by your boyfriend and want to get him back, then the law of attraction can be used to attract him back into your life. 


You can do this by visualizing what you want and then letting go of all the other thoughts that are against it. 

Or, you can write positive affirmations, so that you can begin to attract him back into your life.

Examples of positive affirmations are:

  • My boyfriend is already back in my arms.
  • My boyfriend loves me and knows he made a mistake.
  • He is missing me and this makes him happy.
  • I know that he misses me and wants to be back in my life.
  • He has already realized that he made a mistake.
  • I am incredibly happy and excited to see my boyfriend again.
  • It feels great to be able to be with my boyfriend again.

Just say these out loud every day.

Remember, the law of attraction never fails – as long as you keep letting go of all the negative energy and thoughts that are against what you want, then you will begin to notice more and more proof of your ex boyfriend being back in your life.

16) Leave the drama out of your life

Getting your ex boyfriend back is going to be difficult if you’re going to tell him over and over again how sad you are and how much you want him back.

So, instead of telling him how much he hurt you, and how much you miss him, leave the drama out.

Talk to him about something else or focus on something else. If you interact with him, make sure to smile, laugh, and be happy.

Show him another side of you, so that he will want to talk to you more.

Being upbeat and happy will take away the bad memories. This will make him want to talk to you more, which is essential in getting your boyfriend back.

How do you know when your ex is truly done with you?

Sometimes, regardless of your actions, an ex can truly be done with you. When this happens, there are usually some signs.

Here are some examples:

  • When he stops replying to your texts and calls
  • When he stops being jealous of other guys
  • When he comes across as aloof and distant
  • When he gets involved in a serious relationship
  • When he says he’s done with you

As you can see, there are many signs that an ex is truly done with you. When he says he’s through with you, listen to him. It’s extremely important to really hear what he has to say about this subject. 

When he says that he’s over you and wants nothing more to do with you, leave it at that and give him some space. Don’t go crazy on him or make a big scene either.

What to say to an ex boyfriend you want back?

When you contact him, talk about things that are light-hearted. Don’t bring up anything related to the breakup.

If he asks you how you are doing, make sure to appear happy and upbeat. 

Good answers would be, “I’m doing great! How about you?” or “Not bad at all! I can’t complain”. Even if it’s not the case, try to sound like it is. This will help make him miss you more.

Avoid talking about your feelings or opening up a lot emotionally. This could end up making him feel uncomfortable, which will make him regret talking to you.

If you’re still on friendly terms, ask him if he wants to go out to lunch or dinner with you sometime soon. If he says yes, then that’s great! But if he says no… don’t take it personally.

Just say something like “I understand”, and then change the subject right away. If he’s not interested in resuming your relationship, then it’s best not to stress yourself out over this. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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