How I got over a married man who broke my heart: 10 crucial tips

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Even though some people think that getting involved with a married man is something only insecure women do, it’s not entirely true.

When it comes to love, there are no right or wrong people – it just happens.

But what if you found out later that someone you loved was already married? And what’s worse, they broke your heart and left you alone.

So, how do you get over a married man who broke your heart? 

Read on for our top 10 tips on how to get over a married man and move on with confidence.

1) Don’t contact him unless you have to

Let’s start with the most important thing.

If you have already contacted him after he broke your heart and came to him whenever you felt the urge to reach out to him again, it was a mistake, and do not do it.

Why?

Because reaching out to him means that you have not yet recovered from the emotional shock of finding out about his marriage.

It means that you’re accepting the fact that he lied to you and giving him a second chance to hurt you.

But you don’t really want him to hurt you again, right?

That’s why you shouldn’t contact him unless it’s necessary.

What counts as necessary?

It can be a phone call, text, or email if you want to talk about the property he left behind. Or if there are some documents that require his signature.

However, if you were dating a married man, chances are that none of this would be relevant to your situation. So you could just completely avoid him.

This means cutting off all communication with him.

So, for your own good, make a promise to yourself right now – do not contact him unless there’s an emergency or unless he contacts you first.

If he does, be polite but distant, tell him how much he hurt you and how much he broke your heart – remember, don’t blame yourself for his actions!

Don’t send texts or emails, and don’t pick up the phone if he tries to call you.

You don’t want to accidentally tell him that you’re still thinking about him or that you’re sad.

If he tries to contact you, just ignore him. If he continues to try to get in touch, report him to the police.

Don’t engage with him at all. This is the best way to get over a married man who broke your heart.

And if you still want to reach out to him, it means you are still holding on to your feelings for him.

That’s why it’s so important not to contact him unless you really need something from him – like an explanation or a piece of information. Anything else is just going to hurt you even more.

2) Understand that it was never love in the first place

Another tip that will help you get over a breakup with a married man and move on is to realize that it wasn’t love.

No, of course, I’m not saying that you didn’t love him. Or that you couldn’t have fallen in love with a married man.

What I’m saying here is that he never loved you. It was never love in the first place but an illusion of love caused by his charisma and attention towards you.

Let’s face it: getting involved with a married man is a bad idea. Why?

Because you cannot build a relationship with him.

And if you think that he’s going to leave his wife for you, you’re wrong. If he hasn’t left her yet, he never will.

That’s why you should try and recognize that dating him was a mistake. And that it was knowingly a mistake.

I mean, why should you have to deal with the fact that he’s married?

Why should you have to deal with the fact that he’s probably not going to leave his wife for you?

You deserve better than that! You deserve a man who’s really single and ready to commit. And if he isn’t ready, then you shouldn’t be with him in the first place.

And don’t feel bad about it. It was never love in the first place – just an illusion of love caused by his charisma and attention towards you.

He wasn’t treating you as a girlfriend should be treated because he had a wife! He was cheating on her! And what’s more, he was lying to you.

And accepting someone else’s lies is really hard. It’s not easy to deal with the fact that someone you love is lying to you.

So, yes, it’s really hard to realize that he never loved you or ever will. No matter how much he said he loved you, it was a lie.

And when someone lies to you and treats you like a second-class citizen, why should you continue to be with him?

You deserve better than that! You deserve a man who’s really ready to commit.

3) Explore the truth about love and intimacy

Let’s be honest about the fact that you were dating a married man and he broke your heart.

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learnt about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what traps us in things like getting over a married man who broke your heart.

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts about human nature and love. 

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty. 

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like getting over a married man who broke your heart.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. 

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to help me move on.

If you’re done with wasting your time on love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.

4) Cut him off from social media

Want to know another great way to forget about a married man who broke your heart?

How about cutting him off from social media?

This is one of the best ways to move on and get over a married man who broke your heart. It’s a great way to stop obsessing and a great way to stop thinking about him all the time.

Think about it. You’ve been obsessing over this guy for months now. You’re totally caught up in his lies and his cheating.

You’re thinking about him constantly, and it feels like he’s taking up all the space in your mind.

Sounds familiar?

If so, this is the perfect time to cut him off from social media. I’m sure he’s posting pictures on Facebook and Instagram of his wife and kids, and you’re obsessing over them.

That’s why you need to cut him off from social media entirely, whether it’s Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or whatever.

I mean, you don’t want to see pictures of him with his wife or maybe his new girlfriend, do you?

You don’t want to know what he’s doing, who he’s hanging out with, or even how he’s feeling.

You don’t need to know any of it.

All you need to do is get over the fact that he broke your heart.

So, cut him off from social media so that you can move on with your life.

Remember that it might seem harsh in the beginning, but it works. It will help you start to forget about a married man who broke your heart and move on with your life.

So, why not just cut him out of your life completely? Why not just block him on all social media accounts? He doesn’t exist anymore, right?

You only have room for positive things in your life, right?

So go ahead and block him on all social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, or whatever you used to use. That way, you can’t accidentally see his posts or pictures, and you won’t feel tempted to respond.

5) Give yourself time to recover from the loss and the betrayal

How about giving yourself some time to recover from the loss and betrayal of this whole situation?

That’s right.  You need to give yourself some time to recover.

No, I don’t mean you need to get over this guy in a few days or a few months. I mean that you need to give yourself some time.

It’s time for your heart to heal and for you to move on with your life.

It’s time for you to start living again instead of obsessing and thinking about your ex.

It’s time for you to start feeling better about yourself and the situation instead of feeling sad and sorry for yourself.

Let me explain why.

It’s not uncommon for people who have been left by a married man to feel the urge to rush into another relationship or find a rebound.

You may think that you need the attention of a new lover. But you need to be patient and give yourself time to heal and recover from the loss of your married man.

You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again and find yourself getting involved with someone who is married.

It’s a bad idea and it will only cause you pain again.

So, don’t let yourself be pressured into getting back out there before you’re ready.

You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start dating again.

So guess what?

You need time to recover from this loss and betrayal, and that’s exactly what I mean when I say give yourself time to recover.

Take some time off from work so you can focus on healing, take some time off from social media so that you can focus on healing, and take some time off from everything so that you can focus entirely on recovering from the heartbreak he caused you.

6) Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Let me ask you a question.

Do you feel sorry for yourself after being left by a married man?

If you do, then you’re not alone.

I’ve seen it happen over and over again with the women I’ve worked with.

They feel like they were lied to and cheated on.

They feel like they were taken advantage of by a married man.

And they feel like they lost their self-respect because of this whole situation.

If these feelings sound familiar to you, here’s what you should know:

It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself when you’ve gotten involved with a married man who broke your heart and left you all alone.

You might feel sorry for being naive or trusting, but you don’t need to.

But you know what?

You can change your feelings of self-pity by recognizing that the situation is what it is.

No, you can’t change what happened, and you can’t change the fact that you were left all alone.

All you can do is move on from this experience and learn from it.

To do that, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You need to stop feeling like a victim and start recognizing that you have control over your life.

You can change your future and get past this experience if you want to. And most importantly, you can get over a married man who broke your heart by getting over yourself.

7) Write in a journal to help process your feelings and move on

Can I be totally honest with you?

Writing in a journal can be an excellent way to process your feelings and move on from a dating experience with a married man.

You can get it all out on the page and really explore the thoughts and feelings that are keeping you down.

But how can you start?

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8) Don’t rush to date again

Okay, let me take a wild guess. You think that you’re already ready for a new relationship. You start to feel lonely, and you think that you’re prepared to move on.

But have you asked yourself if you’re ready? Are you ready to date again? Or are you just trying to fill a void in your life and trying to get over a married man by filling it with someone else?

If it’s the latter, then I’m afraid this is not going to work. 

You probably want to get back out there and start dating someone new as soon as possible.

You may think that the best way to get over a married man is to move on as quickly as possible and date new people.

However, you don’t want to rush into anything.

The truth is that you need to take your time before jumping into another relationship.

You might feel like you’re ready, but in reality, you’re not.

It will take time to heal and move on from this experience.

You don’t have to rush things or force yourself into a situation that feels wrong just because you think it will help you get over him.

Instead, you need to give yourself time.

You need some space so that you can find out who you really are. And then, once you know that person, you can go ahead and start looking for a new relationship. 

So, don’t rush into a relationship just because you want to get back out there. It’s better to focus on yourself and get better before you date again.

Take your time and make sure that the next guy is right for you before moving forward.

You deserve the best, and you’ll know when the time is right.

9) Recognize that it’s not your fault

It’s easy to get caught up in self-blame and feel terrible about yourself.

You may even feel that you deserve to feel this way.

But you know what?

When it comes to dating a married man, you didn’t do anything wrong.

You didn’t ask to be lied to, and you didn’t ask to be betrayed by someone you cared about. You might have been naive or trusting, but that doesn’t make you any less of a person.

That’s why you should realize that you’re allowed to make mistakes, and you’re allowed to make bad choices.

The important thing is to recognize them and learn from them.

You got involved with someone dishonest with you. That doesn’t make you a bad person.

You can get over a married man who broke your heart by recognizing that it’s not your fault.

We’ve already talked about how some of this may be your fault, but don’t overthink it. You’re not to blame in any way.

You need to realize that he didn’t do this because of who you are or what you did. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. 

He made a conscious decision to cheat on his wife, and he knew exactly what he was doing. 

And you can’t change the past, but you need to move forward so that you can stop blaming yourself for what happened between the two of you.

You need to forgive yourself so that you can start moving forward today instead of looking back at what happened in the past.

10) Focus on rebuilding your self-esteem

And the final tip I’m going to share with you is to focus on rebuilding your self-esteem.

If you’ve been feeling bad about yourself, it’s time to start doing things that make you feel good about yourself.

You need to do the things that make you feel confident, secure and like the best version of yourself.

Perhaps not surprisingly, people who a married man has left often have poor self-esteem.

They feel like they’re unwanted and unlovable, and they may feel like they’re destined to be alone forever.

But guess what?

You can change this by taking control of your life and focusing on rebuilding your self-esteem.

How can you rebuild your self-esteem?

When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself and how unlovable you are, stop and change your thoughts.

Think about your strengths and the reasons why you’re a great person.

You are a worthwhile person, and even though someone broke your heart, it doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable.

And then, as you start to rebuild your self-esteem and feel better about yourself, it will be easier to find a new relationship in the future.

Final thoughts

To sum up, getting over a married man who broke your heart can be extremely difficult, especially if he left you for another woman. 

But hopefully, you realize that you have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. You just need to use them to get over your ex.

So remember that you deserve to feel good about yourself and make sure to take care of your heart, mind, and soul.

And then you can start to heal and feel happy again.

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If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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