How to get out of the friend zone with your husband

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Do you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone with your husband? Yes, you heard it right. Some women are in the friend zone with their husbands.

They have been there for years, if not decades.

It’s time to put an end to that now! 

Read these 10 ways to get out of the Friend Zone and start feeling loved.

1)Don’t always agree with him or run off his plans

Guys love when a woman has an opinion and doesn’t always agree. 

Of course, he’s your husband and you shouldn’t be disagreeable but guys love a female opinion more than most women think. 

If you always agree with what he wants to do and always run off his plans with him, it’s going to get boring for you. 

Friend zone women often don’t have opinions and just do whatever he wants. 

If you are constantly agreeing with him on everything, you’re never going to be able to have your thoughts and feelings. 

This will take the fun out of not only being around him but also being married to him.

You can’t escape the friend zone by always doing this.

You have your thoughts and he will expect you to have an opinion and to share it now and then.

So speak your mind. 

2) Don’t always be available for him

If you’re not always available, he’s going to get bored and tempted to go out with his friends or do other things on his own. 

But if you always want to be there 24/7 then maybe that’s not your place in the marriage. 

We need boundaries, we all do. 

If you’re constantly available for him and can’t go anywhere without feeling like it’s a burden on your relationship, he will feel like this and this is where the friend zone can start to happen.

Being too available makes it not fun for him and it will just be an obligation and not a real want.

However, this doesn’t mean you need to avoid him or ignore him all the time but it does mean you have to put your long-term relationship first sometimes. 

If he is spending a lot of time with other friends and family or working a lot, don’t give him the cold shoulder or ignore him when he wants your attention. 

But let him know that you are busy too and still need time for yourself. This can be tricky but if you do it right he will want more time with you than with any friend!

Don’t always be there for him when he calls because he will get used to that and stop caring about your needs too much.

Talk to him about what’s bothering you, but don’t get angry or upset with him for doing his own thing. 

3) Do something special for him

When men are in the friend zone with a woman, most of the time they feel like she doesn’t appreciate them.

If you’re in the friend zone with your husband, you need to be doing something special for him. 

A simple way to start is to do a little something extra for him now and then. 

It doesn’t have to be a big thing but it could be something as simple as making his favorite dinner or getting him his favorite cologne that he couldn’t find. 

No one wants to be taken for granted so make it a priority to do something special for him at least once a week. 

This could be doing his favorite food, taking him out for his favorite ice cream cone, or giving him a back rub after work. 

Spend time with him without the kids around. 

You can’t escape the friend zone with a man if you have children. Why not leave them at home while you try to get out of the friend zone? 

Imagine how he will feel when he sees your luscious figure without child-rearing responsibilities and still be treated like a friend!

These actions will prove you care about more than being his buddy, his good friend, or even just being friends with benefits. You are his wife.

4) Don’t always be close to him all the time

When you’re always around him, he’ll probably just think that he can never do anything right or because of you it’s almost impossible for him to think for himself and make the right decisions. 

You have a lot of friends, but maybe now is the time to sit back and evaluate what you want out of a marriage or relationship with your husband. 

Maybe you want someone who makes you feel good about yourself and not like a burden, who will respect you for being his wife and for carrying his children.

If you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone with your husband, it’s important to realize that he might just be bored because he knows that he can always lean on you. 

Don’t always be there for him and make him feel like you’re afraid to move on without him. 

He’s going to think that he’s never going to get another chance if he never tries to do things on his own and play at being an adult.

5) Don’t always want the same things out of your marriage or relationship with your husband

This kind of goes hand in hand with number 2 — don’t always be available for him and don’t always want the same things too. 

This is a very important step in taking back your life from being trapped by your husband by being his wife. 

Find what you want out of life, not what you think he wants to hear. 

If you always want things to be a certain way, then there will be no room for growth and sometimes things do have to change if you want something more out of your marriage

Things may not always go the way you want but don’t expect the same results that you had in the past when those things didn’t go your way.

6) Do not try to be his friend

He wants you as his wife, not as a friend, but very few women understand this and that’s why they’re in the friend zone. 

If you’re friends with benefits or are his good friend, that could be what’s happening to you. 

If you want to get out of the friend zone with your husband then it is best to never play around with being their friend first. 

Stop trying to be his friend and try being his wife. 

That’s where he wants you and it will get him to love you more than ever before!

Remember, men want a woman with whom he has an emotional connection first before anything else and they won’t go for being the best buddy or even just friends with benefits. 

There’s a reason for that.

7) Don’t always give in to what he wants or try to please him all the time

This is something you have to be very mindful of if you’re in the friend zone with your husband. 

It’s all about compromise. What is more important? Getting what you want or comforting him? 

If he makes it clear that comfort is more important than making him happy all the time then you need to evaluate the situation. 

Maybe all men are selfish, but if you’re looking to get out of the friend zone with your husband, this is a great tip. 

Don’t always make your husband happy. Give him what he needs when he needs it.

No one can say you’re not a good wife because you don’t always make him happy and give him what he wants all the time. 

This is where men get frustrated with women because they feel like they’re not getting enough time and attention from them. 

He may feel like you’re not respecting him and don’t think he’s worth the time he needs. 

He just needs to know that you care and that’s it!

So what can you do to make him still feel that you care?

Set aside time to spend with him and make sure he doesn’t feel like you’re always putting your job, kids, or friends first.

It’s not that hard to give up some time for him but this is what will keep you from leaving the friend zone!

8) Don’t always be nice about things that he does that hurt your feelings just because he wants you to

Don’t take things lying down like a doormat either…

If he always expects you to do something one way and you’re sick of it, tell him. 

If he always comes home and expects to have sex with you, but you’re not in the mood, tell him that he’s being disrespectful and inconsiderate.

If you want to get out of the friend zone with your husband and make sure that he gets the message that his actions are affecting you in a way that’s negative and not positive for both of you, then maybe it’s time for communication.

9) Start respecting yourself more

If you want to get out of the friend zone with your husband, then you need to start respecting yourself more. 

If he can respect you, then maybe he’ll start respecting himself and his choices. If he doesn’t respect himself in the first place, then he won’t respect you.

This is one of the most important steps because it’s going to be hard if not impossible to get out of your marriage or relationship with your husband if he can’t respect you or think that you’re enough. 

Also, if he doesn’t respect you, then maybe he’ll go and find someone else who will. 

Don’t let him come into your life and take over without giving you any say in what’s happening to your own life.

10) Start doing things for yourself and don’t always want him to come along

We’ve already discussed some of the reasons why he might think that you’re in a marriage or relationship with someone going through a mid-life crisis or who just doesn’t feel like being married anymore. 

If this is the case, then him not having anything (or anyone) going on in his life is probably a big reason why he won’t change.

If you want to change this, it might be a good idea for you to start doing things for yourself or something that he doesn’t always want to do. 

If you’ve already tried doing things on your own and he doesn’t accept who you are as a person and what makes you happy, then maybe it’s time to find someone new. 

You can’t always be the one in the relationship that tries to change their significant other and make someone happier; especially if they’re not doing it for you in return. 

Take some of my advice and try putting yourself first for once in your life!

11) Don’t always put up with things that make you feel unhappy or aren’t in your best interest

If your husband is doing things that you don’t like, things that are bothering you or making you unhappy, then stop putting up with it and say something! 

If he doesn’t care about little things like this then there’s a reason for that and chances are he will treat you the same way with little to no respect in the relationship.

Take your time to figure out what is right and what is best for your marriage and relationship with your husband and make sure it’s in the best interest of both parties in the relationship. 

Remember, you are a team!

Seriously, this is one of the best ways to do it. 

If he doesn’t change and he keeps doing things that make you not happy, you have to start saying something like “this is making me feel upset or unhappy and it’s not good for us” or “I don’t like doing this”. 

You can easily say these things when they’re small because they won’t make him angry at all. 

He’ll see what he did wrong and ultimately will make himself a better person because of it.

12) Talk to him and ask him what he thinks is wrong

I think that this is important to do genuinely and not anything fake. 

You should ask him about his thoughts and opinions about you, his relationships with others, and their opinion of him. 

If you ask this type of question, he’ll feel more comfortable and probably open up to you more than if he just reads it off a piece of paper.

You can ask him what he thinks about the way that he acts or the way that other people see your relationship with each other or even how they view themselves as individuals.

13) Focus less on yourself and more on your spouse

This is important because you might be the only one who can see what’s wrong with him. 

It could be as simple as he’s always running his car when it’s raining, but sometimes these little things add up and can make him miss work or be late for a lot of things. 

Maybe there are other reasons why this is making him a little crazy, but if you zero in on what you think is making him look like he doesn’t have time for himself and the relationship, then maybe the situation will change just a little bit!


After reading all of this, you might feel like you did an awful lot of soul-searching and had to put in a lot of effort to make him change. 

I know that it can be a little bit depressing if things seem to be staying the same, but if you keep up some of the points listed above and do them in a way that feels genuine to you, then maybe he’ll see where he needs to grow up a little bit!

If not, then at least you tried your hardest. 

To help you with that, consider this.

Let’s be honest about being friend zoned by your husband.

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learned about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what traps us in things like being in the friend zone with your husband. 

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts about the friend zone, marriage, and love. 

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty. 

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like this. 

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. 

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to getting out of the friend zone with your husband. 

If you’re done with wasting your time on a love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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