How to get him back after rejecting him: 20 easy steps

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Look: Getting over rejection can be pretty tough to handle – especially for a guy.

When you said “no”, it was like a slap in the face for him. You didn’t simply reject him.

No, you actually hurt his ego! Men don’t like that. They don’t like it when their egos get stepped on.

So, if you want to get his attention back, then stick with me here.

Here are 20 easy steps to help you get him back after rejecting him.

1) Figure out why you rejected him in the first place

While this isn’t a step that will practically help you get him back, it’s something that you have to do if you want a fresh start with him.

So, think about this! Why did you reject him?

  • Was it because your friends didn’t like him?
  • Was it because you didn’t think he was cool enough?
  • Or, maybe you thought he wasn’t “your type?”

The point here is that you should make sure none of your previous reasons come up again. And then, after you’re sure, it’s going to be a lot easier to convince him too!

2) Make sure he is single before you make a move

The next step is to make sure that he is single before you go and try to get his attention back.


Since you want this guy back, it means you like him and you respect him, right?

If you do, then you know that it would be inappropriate to make a move on him if he’s coupled. Such an action could even count as disrespectful. 

Plus, you KNOW that if he were indeed single, you would be more likely to get his attention right?

But, don’t worry too much. I’m sure that he’s still single.

Even so, make sure that you are doing this step before you go after him. 

3) Learn how to use his instincts in your favor

Want to skip a few steps and get him back more easily?

Then listen to this:

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger this guy’s hero instinct? 

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give him what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) Find out if he’s still into you

Chances are this guy is still into you. However, it wouldn’t hurt to know for sure, right?

If you’re still in contact with him, then observe whether…

… he smiles when he sees you;

… he avoids you, your texts, or calls;

… he looks the other way when he sees you;

… he stops to say “hello” whenever he can.

This kind of stuff is important to know. After all, he’s probably going through a lot of emotions right now; emotions that he doesn’t want you to be aware of.

But, if he still likes you, then he’ll probably have a hard time hiding it from you.

5) Wait for the right moment to approach him

Regardless of how you want to approach this guy, (i.e., by sending him a text, a direct message, and so on) you should wait for the right time. 

When is the right time? Well, that’s for you to find out!

However, to help you out, I can tell you when the time wouldn’t be right:

  • Right after you rejected him – that’ll confuse him even more.
  • When he starts seeing other girls – that’s kind of weird, right?
  • If he is drunk – he probably won’t even remember what you said. 

You get the idea. Use common sense and discretion, then wait for the right moment! In this regard, I also suggest you trust your gut. It will tell you when you should take action.

6) Acknowledge the fact that you rejected him

In case he is open to talking and reconnecting with you, then you shouldn’t act as if nothing has happened between the two of you!

In fact, this is what this step is all about! To be more precise, it’s about owning up to what you said or did in the past.

For example, you should say to him:

  • “I know that when I rejected you, I made you feel really bad. I really shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m sorry for it.”
  • “I can assure you that my reason for rejecting you is no longer valid. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance.”
  • “I want to apologize for what happened in the past. So please let me make it up to you by giving me another chance.”

Remember, you were the one who rejected him. So, it’s only right that you should acknowledge it first.

7) Know what you actually want

So you rejected him…and now you want him back.

It’s high time for you to ask yourself: what do I actually want?

Do you want him, or do you just like being paid attention, even if you don’t actually have feelings for him?

It’s hard to differentiate between the two, I know, so I really suggest meditating to sort out your feelings.

As you sit, breathe, and think about how you feel, you will slowly learn what you actually want.

It’s self-healing, which means the thoughts that confuse you will go away as your mind and body connection grows ever stronger. 

And when you finally understand your own feelings, clarity follows suit.

So if you want that kind of clarity, click here to access the free meditation.

8) Make him feel important

You should know that people’s memories are quite selective. So, if you want to make him feel better about being rejected by you, then give him a good memory instead!


Treat him as if he’s your favorite person in the world!

Make him feel like you’re having a great time together. You can do this by:

  • Being polite to him. Don’t forget that you were the one who rejected him.
  • Giving him compliments;
  • Even helping him out if he’s in a tight spot!
  • Showing your admiration through actions, not words;
  • And, of course, doing all this without seeming fake or phony.

You can see that if you’re giving him what he wants, he feels good about it. He feels special to you. And, slowly, he replaces bad memories with good ones.

9) Do something nice for him

Here’s another easy step to get him back: do something nice for him! 

Like what? You can:

  • Cook his favorite dish for him;
  • Surprise him with a gift – guys love gifts, too!
  • Take him out on an adventure – it doesn’t even have to be expensive or crazy. You can go out on a walk, play a game of mini-golf together, or sing in the shower of your dorm! …pretty minor stuff.

These small gestures are not that big of a deal. But they make a huge difference!

Remember: they’re small, but they add up to something big in his mind. And if you can make him feel good, then it’s going to be easier to get him back even after rejecting him.

10) Don’t play games with him

This is one of the most important steps in getting him back: don’t play games with him!

Do you know why? Because, as I said before, he doesn’t want to get played by anyone. And you’re no exception!

So instead of playing games with him, be friendly and welcoming. 

Believe me, this is going to be better than playing hard to get or trying to keep him on a string. He doesn’t want to be treated like that. 

Now, some of you may be thinking: “I can’t do this step because I tried being really nice to him and he rejected me!”

Well, if this is the case, it could mean that…

… he’s trying to get revenge;

… he’s no longer interested;

… he doesn’t believe you want him for real;

… he is interested in someone else.

So, if he rejects you, this should tell you that he still has some mixed feelings about what happened in the past. 

However, the solution is definitely not to play games with him! 

11) Don’t expect him to forgive you overnight

It’s not necessary for you to make him forgive you right away. 

In case he refuses to talk to you, then it is up to him. He needs time to process everything and think about it.

But if he’s open to talking to you, then don’t expect him to forgive you right after the first conversation. He may need some time as well! So, be patient with him. 

Try taking baby steps towards getting closer again. Or, you could try this:

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to forgive you faster.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make this guy truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

12) Be yourself no matter what happens

This guy liked you before, so there’s no need for you to pretend you’re someone else to get him back. Do you understand?

Whatever happens, you should be yourself

Besides winning this guy over, you should also remember that you are doing this for yourself, too. 

So, whether he rejects you or accepts the fact that you want him in your life, it shouldn’t matter. You should still be yourself!

Being yourself has numerous benefits such as:

  • You’ll be more attractive to him; 
  • You’ll be more interesting to him; 
  • You’ll feel better about yourself.

13) Understand what he may be feeling

If you truly want this guy back, then you have to understand what he went through after you rejected him. By doing so, you’ll know what to do and what not to do.

Psychologically speaking, when a man gets rejected, he feels:

  • Angry because you hurt him (he may also get a little angry at himself);
  • Lost because he doesn’t know where to go from here;
  • Depressed because he’s lost his confidence; 
  • Discouraged because he feels like something is missing in his life.

Therefore, a great idea is that you should try to understand what he went through after rejection. 

It’s because of this step that you should remember not to play games with him. Because if you’re playing games with him while he’s feeling sad and lost, it’ll only make him feel even worse!

14) Go out of your way to impress him

Some guys need grand gestures to get over rejection. So, why not give it to him?

Don’t know where to start? Well, think about his likes and dislikes:

What kind of stuff does he watch on TV? What is his favorite sports team? What kind of music does he like? What kind of movies does he watch?

You can impress him if you…

… buy concert tickets for both of you;

… take him to see a drive-in movie;

… take him somewhere he’s never been before.

One more thing: be creative! This will show him that you’re not playing games with him but that you’re serious about getting him back.

15) Cheer for him to get his attention

Let’s say you rejected him in front of his friends. Can you imagine how he felt? 

He probably felt embarrassed and humiliated! In fact, if he’s a guy who is sensitive to this kind of thing or one that cares what others think about him, you can be sure of it. 

So, if you want to get his attention again, then you must take action!

Since you rejected him in front of other people, you have to match your actions to the situation.

So, you should cheer him on in front of his friends if he’s doing well with something. 

For example, you can cheer for him when he scores a goal in soccer or gets a good grade on a test. Showing your support through actions as well as words will make him feel good about himself.

16) Make yourself even more desirable

Regardless of how much pain you put this guy through, he’s still a man. What does this mean?

He’ll notice if you look even more desirable than before! And, if you play your cards right, you can get him back in no time!

Here are some ways you can do this:

  • Wear nice clothes; 
  • Get a new style haircut; 
  • Exercise more often; 
  • Always smell nice.

However, in case you don’t see him face to face too often, then use social media to show him that you’re putting a lot of effort into being more desirable.

Take photos of yourself and/or make cute videos and then post them.

If he sees that you’ve changed for the better and for the best, he is sure to be impressed! And, consequently, he might be more open to getting back with you.

17) Just tell him that you’ve changed your mind

Listen, if not much time has passed since you rejected him, then you could simply tell him that you’ve changed your mind. 

You can explain yourself by telling him why you rejected him in the first place and why you’ve changed your mind. 

However, if you don’t know why you acted that way, you could simply say that you acted out of impulse and that you’ve changed your mind.

In case you can’t see him in person, you can send him a text explaining everything. 

18) Give him a little space to figure things out for himself

When a man gets rejected, he needs time to think about it and process it. The best way for him to do this is not by talking about it with his friends or family but by talking about it with himself. 

In such a case, he needs to talk to himself about what happened so that he can figure things out for himself. So, it’s best for you to give him some space so that he can do this in peace. 

If you’re expecting him to come running back at once, then you may be disappointed and lose your chance of getting him back.

Even so, you can call and text him occasionally to show that you’re not giving up on him.

19) Listen to him and try to understand him

A man can’t get over rejection unless he feels listened to and understood. So, take your mind off yourself for a few minutes and try to listen to what he’s got to say.

Also, try understanding him. By doing this, you’ll let him know that you’re really concerned about him and that you’re really trying to understand how he feels. 

One more thing: consider yourself lucky if he’s willing to talk to you! In case he refuses, it’s obviously better for you to leave him alone for a while.

20) Try to help him understand that you didn’t mean to hurt him

Some men don’t get over rejection because the situation was very personal for them. They think that you meant to hurt them in particular!

So, it’s a good idea to try to let him know that you didn’t mean to hurt him in any way. You should explain why you rejected him and what it was about you, rather than him.

You should also communicate that you’ve changed, that you’re sorry about your actions, and that you’re not a bad person. And, if he’s willing to listen to you and accept you, he may be more open to getting back to you.

What should I do after rejecting someone?

Just because you’re the one who rejected this guy, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel anything about what happened.

In fact, I know how you felt right after:

  • You were overwhelmed with emotion;
  • You wanted to hide from him and the world;
  • You felt like you wanted to throw up because of your emotions;

So, to answer your question, you should first calm down. This is important because you’ll need to be in control of your emotions before you can do anything else.

Secondly, you should wait for a few days to see how you feel and see if your feelings change. In case they do, you can decide what you want to do.

You see, most men don’t even think about what the woman who rejects them is going through. Or, they don’t think that she’s going to be as miserable as they are when they get rejected.

The truth is, you’re not going through something similar. However, you’re still allowed to feel something about all of this!

And, if your feelings change, you can try to get him back.

How does a man react to rejection?

After they get rejected, some men grieve, while others get angry.

However, they don’t usually want to talk about it! 

And even if they do want to talk about it, they’re usually willing to do it with their friends or family members. Only a few of them are willing to talk about it with the person who rejected them.

Why is that? 

Well, most men are ashamed to be rejected. And, they don’t want to talk about it with the woman who rejected them because of this shame. 

Also, after a man gets rejected, he feels disconnected from the person who rejected him. This means that he doesn’t want to get close to her anymore because he knows how she thinks of him after rejecting him.

So, after you’ve rejected him, he’ll probably:

  • Refuse to open up to you; 
  • Ignore you
  • React negatively towards you.

This is because he doesn’t want to get close again. He may also be angry at you for rejecting him, and he may try to invalidate the rejection by saying something negative about you.

On the other hand, there are a few men who don’t let rejection get to them. They may go through a short period of sadness, but then they’re back to their usual selves. 

How do you talk to a guy after rejecting him?

Don’t expect that you’ll be able to talk to him right after you reject him. This can be really tricky!

In case you want to start a conversation with him right away, be prepared for a negative comment or two. In most cases, he won’t want to talk to you right away. 

In fact, he may even go out of his way to avoid you! 

So, it’s better not to force things

How long should I wait until I contact him after rejecting him?

If you’re the one who rejected him and if you want him back, then there’s a good chance that you’ll have to wait a while. 

Still, some men are willing to talk immediately after they get rejected. In this case, you’ll only need to wait for a short while. The ideal time would be to wait a few days until you can talk to him. However, this just depends on the situation.

Still, what I can tell you is that if you want him back and if you want to give him some space, it’s best to wait for a few days so that he can think about things and process them.

You can get him back after rejecting him

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. He’ll also forget all about that unpleasant incident when you rejected him. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and commit to a relationship with him, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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