How to get an emotionally unavailable man to chase you? 15 tried and tested tips

After a rather long dip in the dating pool, you’ve finally found someone that ticks all the boxes in terms of your wants; however, he’s emotionally unavailable, and it’s driving you bonkers.

If he’s just not that into you, there are tactics you can employ to get him to chase you like you stole his money.

Here are 15 of the best ways to get an emotionally unavailable man to chase you.

1) Let the guy do the chasing

I know how this sounds. 

We females have moved mountains to get to where we are today.

No longer barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, we are independently strong and go after we want. Still, it’s best to let them do the chasing, for all, when it comes to pursuing an emotionally unavailable man. 

For most men, the thrill of the chase makes everything more exciting, so when you remove the excitement from the equation, it’s just a regular boy meets girl scenario: Beige, boring, and nothing to write home about.

Also, under no circumstances can you throw yourself at him. This lets off colossal warning signs that you are utterly desperate and he’ll more than likely run screaming for hills.

Yes, I understand you are enthusiastic and are gaga over him. That’s great; just don’t let him know that just yet.

It’s a typical “we always want what we can’t have” type scenario. So, let him do the chasing to let him know that you are interested but not desperate. The points below are going to help you become irresistible and will keep him in you.

2) Demonstrate confidence to get the guy’s attention

Confidence is KEY! It’s one of the most remarkable traits we possess, and when we use it to our advantage, it’s a winner! 

Exuding confidence grabs a man’s attention, and he becomes intrigued by you. 

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So start by believing that you are quite the catch, and he will start thinking the same. 

Confident women are noticeable, and they stand out. In addition, they have a certain air of mystery about them, which makes men more eager to know them better.

Confidence is the head-turning effect that some people have when they enter a room. People are drawn to them because they’re exciting and leave us wanting more.

If your confidence needs some work, don’t worry, it’s not the end of the road for you.

You can increase your confidence in many ways.

  • Looking good means feeling good – A trip to the mall for a new outfit or a session with your favorite stylist will give your confidence a huge boost
  • Positive affirmations. You are brave, intelligent, sexy, and wanted. You need to believe in yourself if you want others to desire you. 
  • Practice makes perfect – Don’t be afraid to role-play different scenarios and be the star of the show. It might seem silly at first, but the more you practice “pretend speaking” to your guy, the easier it will be when the time comes.

3) Make sure you’re busy

If you want a man to chase you, you need to stop availing yourself to him at every opportunity.

I know we’re in a pandemic, and you have absolutely nothing better to do than binge-watch Netflix – that’s fine, just don’t tell him that.

If he knows that you’re waiting for his call, it’s going to make him feel entitled. 

So you need to make it seem that the world does not revolve around him and that you have a busy life and will “slot him in” when you have a chance.

Therefore, do not spend too much time with him. Instead, keep him at arm’s length and use the time to do things that you enjoy. 

Keep your hands and your mind busy, making a concerted effort to avoid reaching for your cellphone to text him constantly.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt. 

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So you have to get the balance just right. Not too much to avoid getting sick of each other, and just enough to ensure the relationship stays fresh.

4) Hang out with your friends

Ladies, why do we always seem to neglect our friends the moment we catch feelings for a man? 

Unfortunately, it happens all the time; we focus far too much time on our man and forget about enjoying life with our friends. 

If you want a man to chase you, spend loads of time with your mates. Schedule a girl’s night out every week to help maintain the bonds you have with your girlfriends.

Remember, your friends were in your life before he came on the scene, and when things take a wrong turn, they will be the ones to pick up the pieces and help build you up. 

You need to have your own social life outside of your relationship, and you both need to spend time with friends separately and together.

Most importantly, the moment you alienate your friends for him, you will make him start feeling unique and arrogant.

5) Have your own life

We make this mistake ALL THE TIME! The moment we’re in a relationship, we let him consume our lives. Then, all our time, effort, and thoughts go into “where is he?” I wonder what he is up to and who is whit?

You had your own life before you met him, and when you come off as needy and clingy, you’re killing the attraction, suffocating him with too much affection and inevitably inflating his ego.

Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with showing your man commitment; it’s when you go to extremes to do this that it becomes problematic.

Make sure to make time for getting your nails done, going shopping, and whatever else it is that makes you happy. This shows that you are independent and that you don’t need him 24/7.

6) Be authentic and don’t act

During the honeymoon phase of a relationship, we’re always trying to make a great impression.

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While there isn’t anything wrong with trying to put your best foot forward, pretending to be something you are not is likely going to end in disaster.

At first, this might seem to work; he’s interested in you and seems keen, but you’re not authentic.

You will be forced to put on a facade every time you’re with him, and who on earth wants to live like that. 

If, after time, you start showing your true self, this guy might lose interest. You need to be who you are, and your partner needs to be happy with you. 

If this is not the case, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship.

7) Establish a sense of mystery

That open book policy you have – CLOSE IT. 

If you want a man to chase you, you need to stop revealing everything about yourself all at once. 

He doesn’t need to know your entire life history or a blow-by-blow account of everything that’s happened in our day. 

Instead, share small chunks of information with him bit by bit to keep him interested. He’ll realize that you are a dynamic woman made up of many unique layers. 

By revealing small bits of info, you will pique his interest.

Always keep ‘em guessing and yearning for more. 

The more mysterious you appear, the closer he’ll want to investigate. So keep certain things in your life away from you, and let him sweat before you reveal. 

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This air of mystery is a definite way to make him chase you and keep coming back for more.

8) Resist the temptation to text and call

Another fatal error we tend to make is over-communicating with guys. I know it’s difficult to resist with technology being at our fingertips and all, but this should be a no-brainer.

If you always seem to be the first to text or call, it’s a telltale sign that he is not enjoying the chase. You’re making yourself way too available, and the need for him to want to chase you diminishes.

Often easier said than done, avoid the temptation of texting and calling frequently. Also, when you receive a text from him, don’t respond immediately. 

Allow a couple of hours to pass before you reply, and the same goes for when he calls. Don’t call back immediately. 

You need to avoid looking like you’re moping around waiting for him to contact you. If this guy is genuinely into you, he will make a way to be with you regardless, so you don’t need to do any of the chasings.

Keep yourself busy by doing other things instead of watching your cellphone.

9) Flirt but know your boundaries

Getting your flirt on with your crush is an excellent way for him to chase you; however, you need to know when to draw the line. 

Too much flirting can smell like desperation. 

So when you’re chatting to him, maintain eye contact but don’t stare at him. Instead, touch his hand playfully when speaking to him and lean in to remove a piece of lint stuck on his shirt.

Whatever you choose to do, being subtle is the key. 

You’re relaying the message that you’re interested and not desperate. 

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Remember, overly aggressive flirting can be construed that you’re being too forceful and can cause your crush to run in the opposite direction

Do all the naturally girly things like touching your hair, biting your lip, and giggling at his jokes. The goal here is to get him to chase you, and by upping your flirting game, you’re well on your way

10) Keep everything short

When your crush starts to contact you, whether via text, phone call, or an in-person chat, be sure to keep the conversation short and sweet.

Even when you’re out with him and having an absolute ball of a time, avoid pouring your heart out and keep the conversation short and sweet. 

The goal here is to leave him wanting more the moment the two of you are away from one another. 

Cutting things short will ensure that this man develops a craving for you and can do nothing else but chase you. 

Men are simple creatures; they don’t want essay-long text messages from you loaded with fluffy feelings and cheesy emotional stuff. It confuses them and makes them uncomfortable. 

You need to let your crush feel at ease with you, and doing this is paving the way for great conversations further down the line. 

Your man will desire you more and chase harder if you learn how to keep things simple.

11) Don’t jump into a relationship too quickly

A common pitfall we often make is trying to shed our single status too quickly.

We don’t take the time to enjoy our single status and often rush blindly from one relationship to the next. 

However, being single gives you the opportunity for self-improvement without anybody telling you otherwise. 

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Unfortunately, you’re going to kiss lots of frogs before you find your prince, and when you are in a rush to be with someone and start pushing for a commitment too quickly, it’s a turn-off. 

Men understand that all things of value will take some work, so stay single while you can and let him do the chasing.

If it’s meant to be, it will. Don’t force a relationship for the mere sake of not being alone.

12) Don’t give him boyfriend perks

Why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?

Ladies, this saying demonstrates that if he isn’t your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be getting the kind of benefits that your boyfriend would have.

 If you think that a role in the hay is the best thing you can offer a man and give it up just like that, he will not chase after you.

 A meaningful relationship is multi-faceted. Men enjoy the emotional support they gain from a relationship and love that they have the security knowing that you are theirs.

If you give too freely, your crush will see chasing after you as pointless. Why pursue when I can do nothing to reap all the rewards? Let that marinade with you.

13) Let him feel like he’s in charge

Let him feel as though he is in charge – it’s a guy thing, and they need to be made to feel like they have control.

Don’t get me wrong, this by no means does this remove you from any decision-making; it just means that you need to do it covertly.

14) Let it be known that you have “options”

Make it known that he isn’t your only option.

Post some pictures to social media where you’re posing with other guys (even if they’re just friends). 

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This will also tell him that you’re being chased by other guys, showing that you’re in demand and that he has competition. 

15) Do not get caught up in the drama

Men dislike women who cause and who are continually surrounded by drama. They’ll leave you cold if they sense that you are the type of lady who attracts drama.

Drama overcomplicates life and is annoying. Men have little tolerance when it comes to this, so if you’re a drama queen, getting someone to chase you means you’re going to have to block out the drama.

Wrapping up

Times might have changed, but the male species haven’t.

Men enjoy the thrill of chasing a woman, regardless of how the modern world has evolved. It’s an instinct they have, and it’s unlikely to change.

So, to get your man falling over your feet, use this knowledge to your advantage. By following these tips, you’ll have him where you want him in no time.

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