If you’re regretting a breakup, you’re not alone.
But your next step is crucial.
I’ll be honest: most people make the wrong moves after a breakup and ruin any chance of getting back together.
This is especially true if they’re panicking about an ex who’s lost feelings for them.
Here’s how to get an ex back even if you’re no longer in their heart.
It’s not only possible, it’s probable: if you go about it the right way.
1) Assess the situation realistically
First off, take a look at your situation right now.
Ask and answer these three questions:
- Why did you break up?
- Which of you broke up with who?
- Are you still in contact in any way?
If you broke up because you did something wrong or let them down in a way that was your fault, that’s one mark against you.
If they broke up with you for whatever reason, even their own issue, that’s mark two against you.
If you’re no longer in contact that’s mark three against you.
If it’s a mixed bag, that’s better news.
If all three are on the negative side, it’s still possible to figure out how to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you, it’s just going to be a little trickier.
2) Let them have time and space
Let your ex have time and space.
If there is any chance of their feelings growing back, it’s not going to be expedited by you pushing.
In fact, applying pressure is almost sure to kill any lingering fondness or attraction they have for you.
Now, when you believe one person is truly the right one for you and are full of special emotions for them, something unfortunate happens.
You idealize them and become hyper-focused on them. The result is you become needy, act desperate and become pushy. You check when they were last online 100 times.
You try to predict what they’re thinking, feeling and doing.
For all you know they are literally taking a crap and have constipation right now. Stop idealizing.
If you’re having trouble giving your ex time and space, think of it this way:
Use this time to grieve. Use this time to be sad for a while. Don’t reach out. Just process and feel the pain for the time being.
3) Get your ex back the right way
In this article I’m going to go over exactly how to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you.
But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do.
In fact, there are small details that can make or break the process and lead to success or failure.
When it comes to texting, you may be tempted to flood their inbox with all sorts of messages and long, tender-hearted or angry thoughts.
So what can you do in this situation? Send this “No Communication” text
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with them that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need them to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back.
He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
4) Boost your own life
As gauche as it may be to think about dating and attraction this way, we all have a certain value that we perceive ourselves as and a certain value that others perceive us as.
These are not always the same, although they often align.
Imagine that you wake up tomorrow with your current life but everyone starts taking photos of you when you walk by and wanting your autograph.
What the hell?
It turns out that you look the same as a famous Italian movie star who’s in your city and everyone thinks it is you.
You look exactly the same and even talk the same way and everything. None of the gorgeous strangers wanting your time and attention will listen to you when you try to say it’s not you.
Your confidence is now sky high. You enter interactions with a frame of high worth.
Other people are qualifying themselves to you instead of you trying to win their attention or approval.
Again, this is not a tactic, it’s a daily reality in how you enter and interact with the world in every way, not only romance.
And the key – short of some bizarre scenario like what I described above – is to build a life that actually brings you joy and purpose.
“You need to make them feel you’re too busy for them because (a) your life is wonderful (b) you have many people who would want to be with you.”
I’d add just one thing to Vivien’s thoughts here:
You don’t just need to make them feel that.
You need that to actually be true.
5) Be brutally honest about what you want and why
Getting your ex back is obviously your priority if you’re reading this article.
I’m sure it is not a decision or desire you’ve come to lightly.
Figuring out how to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you can be confusing and heartbreaking, so you wouldn’t be bothering if you didn’t really want it.
At the same time, before you go any further you need to be brutally honest with yourself about why you want this.
Because if the breakup was on anything less than excellent terms and there’s no feelings there on their side anymore, you have an uphill climb.
Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But it needs to be worth it.
And in order for it to be worth it, you need to absolutely sure about why you want this and at what point you will either have succeeded or give up.
If you want this relationship back out of a feeling of insufficiency and wanting that person to make you “happy” again, be careful… As much as it happens to all of us, truly hinging your happiness on someone else is a very risky move.
If you want this ex back because of genuine love and affection you have for them and you will truly respect their desire to not get back with you if they don’t want it, then you’re on a track that’s more probable to succeed…
6) Mirror their behavior
Mirroring someone’s behavior is an old dating hack that really works.
Instead of always initiating texts, do it about as much as they do…
Instead of always going for the kiss or waiting for the kiss, lead and follow about as much as they do…
Instead of trying to rekindle and ex’s feelings for you or reach out to them, let your feelings be hidden and don’t reach out in equal proportion to them…
This is a good start if you want to know how to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you…
But there’s more…
While this article will shed light on the main tactics for regaining an ex’s affection, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like broken relationships that seem beyond hope but still have a spark hidden somewhere.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own love life in the past I reached out to them.
I was skeptical, but my expectations were blown away.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
7) Don’t overthink it!
Many times we try to solve problems of love and life in our thoughts.
How can I think about this different and approach this differently.
And you know what:
That’s definitely important.
But thoughts and beliefs come and go. What gives them staying power is when they’re backed up by action.
You could say “I love my life, I am accomplishing so much.”
But it’s actually worthless nonsense if it’s not true.
You have to actually start accomplishing a lot and love your life for real as your reaction to it, in order to start living out that reality.
Belief is not nearly as powerful as action, because belief is born out of action and at best is a foundation and background for action and results rather than a replacement for them.
8) Keep your frame
On the side of beliefs is the idea of a “frame.”
This is basically your reality. It is certainly a belief, but not in the way that I believe aliens are real or not real, or that I believe cryptocurrency will crash in the future.
A frame is a belief that’s subconscious and that we don’t even consciously think of. It’s our reality, and it determines a lot about how we perceive our reality.
Knowing how to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you is a lot about knowing how to stay in your frame.
Which means that if you are a winner, you are happy in your life, you are busy accomplishing great things, then no ex and no cruel words or no contact can sway you out of that frame.
If your ex tells you he’ll date you if you change your religion, or even cut your hair, you dismiss it. You’re not going to shift out of your frame in order to mentally conform yourself to his unless it’s your own free choice.
Yes, you may feel terrible or lost. But you never lose this basic frame that you’re a worthwhile person who’s living a life that’s worth living.
This relates back to what Brad Browning taught me – there are simple ways to get your ex back.
I mentioned Brad earlier, he’s an expert at helping couples work through their issues and rebuild their relationships.
With practical tips to help you get your ex back, his advice could be just what you need to not only get the attention of your ex once again but actually make them fall back in love with you once more.
9) Don’t be their fan
If there’s an ex you miss a lot then it’s understandable you would hope to bridge the gap with them.
But the more that you chase them and act like their admirer the more they run away.
Why is that?
If you treat someone like a celebrity, they will treat you like a fan. Now, this doesn’t mean you are completely indifferent, but it does mean you do your best to remove some of that fixated and needy energy from them and put it out into this big wild universe in various directions.
Try to build a life you love so that it’s not laser-focused on one person making you happy.
Your ex will feel this and respond with much more interest.
10) Honestly try to meet someone new
Part of getting your ex back is ironically in trying to meet someone new.
This may be the last thing you want to do, at least at first…
But make an effort to do so and you will notice positive results as you redirect your energy and attention.
When you open yourself emotionally even to the remote possibility of meeting someone new and adopt this frame, it shifts your vibe.
Your ex will feel that and respond accordingly.
11) Post photos of your new life
Posting photos of your new life is a good way to redirect your focus and show your ex that you’re willing to move on if he or she really needs it to be that way.
The key here is not to post photos in a way that shows off a lot or makes it seem like you want your ex’s attention.
This may seem like a Herculean feat if they haven’t blocked you.
How could you not care what they see or think about what you’re putting online.
But you have to force yourself to post the kind of photos you would if you were living your best life with no ex in mind.
That’s the you who’s going to get your ex back.
12) Never wait on an answer or wait for contact
The worst thing you can do if you’re hoping for your ex to come back is to hover over your phone and try to see if they’re watching any of your stories or posts.
The worst you could do is pray night and day for them to come back and then go wild with jealousy and sadness if they seem not to be.
It’s very hard and counterintuitive to not reach out to someone you care about and not become hyper attentive to what they’re thinking and feeling about you…
From ex-y to sexy
Getting your ex back has a lot to do with being willing to move on.
But also leaving clues and positive paths for them to choose in coming back to you and seeing that you already have a full life if they want to add themselves to it as well.
Getting your ex back can be a real rollercoaster ride.
It can sometimes feel like you regain their interest for a day or two and they keep dipping in and out completely unpredictably. But if you really want your ex back for good?
You’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier, he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex.
And the best part?
With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think. Are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together
If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.