You’ve been cheated on. It might hurt, it might be confusing, but it will get better and a few things can help make the process go more smoothly.
Believe me, I’ve been there before. Now I’m here to help you.
This blog post is all about finding peace after being cheated on, with 20 tips and tricks that I’ve found helpful when dealing with this difficult situation.
You’ll find some practical and imaginative ways to deal with the pain, as well as tips for moving forward after being betrayed by someone you loved.
1) Cut off contact
This is the first step and it’s the most important one. He or she cheated on you, so no more contact with him or her.
End of story.
The less you see of the person who broke your heart, the faster you’ll get over them.
When I finally broke off with my ex I had no idea how much time and effort it would take to get over him, but I’m happy to say that it was pretty quick.
He just cheated on me and I don’t trust him anymore.
Just after a month of not seeing him anymore I’m already starting to forget how much he hurt me, and I feel like the pain is slowly going away.
However, though it might seem logical and easy to cut off contact with him or her without thinking twice, doing so is never easy.
You’ll be tempted at times to reach out to them just to talk things over or check if they’re doing alright.
You might feel like you’re being unreasonable by not giving them a second chance or a chance to explain why they did what they did.
But, believe me, you’re doing the right thing.
You shouldn’t feel guilty or take the blame for his or her actions. If you want to be happy and healthy then you shouldn’t give them a chance to hurt you again.
2) Tell everyone what happened
It’s hard to tell other people about your situation, but it’s important to do so. Begin with your close friends, then tell your parents and family members.
Eventually you’ll want to spread the word that you’ve been cheated on by telling all of your acquaintances on different social media sites and forums.
Telling people how you feel isn’t easy because it can trigger some unexpected reactions from them, but it’s still necessary if you want things to move forward. Reactions from people are important, even if they’re bad ones.
3) Talk to a therapist or counselor
This step isn’t necessary if you don’t have the money for it, but I found that it was a good idea.
Telling strangers how you feel about being cheated on can be very empowering, and discussing your breakup with someone who’s not close to you can help give you some different perspective on the situation.
Talking with a therapist will also help to get some professional advice if what you’re dealing with is truly affecting your mental state.
If you’re lucky enough to find a local cheater support group in your area, I strongly recommend checking it out.
You’ll meet other people who are going through similar situations, and talking with them can be extremely beneficial and supportive.
Or there’s somethings I can recommend to you. It’s called Relationship Hero.
Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk.
They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like how to find peace after being cheated.
And moreover, they can help you to find the best way to master a relationship with a new person, so you don’t go on the same road and make the same mistakes.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
To understand what I meant, click here to check them out.
4) Exercise and hit the gym
Exercise has always been a good way to deal with grief and pain, and it’s no different when you’re dealing with heartache.
If you don’t have the time or money for personal training/group classes then visiting your gym or practise is a great alternative.
Exercise will help you to forget about things for a while, and that’s exactly what you need.
You need some time to think about what happened and figure out whether it’s worth continuing on with their friendship or not.
They might be good friends even though they cheated on you, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any risk of them doing it again in the future.
5) Find a new hobby to fill up your free time
Why are you going through all of this?
It’s because you loved him or her, and you were deeply in love with them. They were your everything, and now they’ve betrayed you.
If you let yourself be consumed by that kind of emotion for too long then it will hurt more than anything else could ever hurt.
You need to find something to fill up your free time so that it doesn’t consume you completely.
You’ll be able to think more clearly and have a better outlook on life if you have something else to occupy your mind and keep you happy.
For example, if you’re a sports fan then get yourself some sports equipment.
It doesn’t really matter what kind of sport because any kind of physical activity will do. Maybe join a yoga or tai chi studio and take up that hobby too.
If you like computers then get yourself some software upgrades or purchase a new gadget for your computer.
Whatever it is, just find something that will help keep your mind occupied while giving you the space to comfort yourself in other ways too.
6) Spend more time with friends and family
Cutting out toxic people from your life isn’t going to be an easy thing to do. However, it’s very important that you stick to it because who knows what they’ll do in the future?
The only way you’re going to persevere through this is if you have good help and support.
As I’ve said earlier, don’t try to deal with things on your own.
You might have the willpower to cut them off, but it won’t be easy, especially if you’re dealing with someone close to you like a relative or a friend.
Also, don’t do anything reckless either.
Don’t go on drinking binges or binge eating. You need to be calm, not out of control.
Showing your ex that you’re okay with them cheating on you might help you feel better in the short term, but it’s not good for your health and it will get in the way of moving forward with your life and forgetting about them.
7) Keep a journal
If you find that you’re going through all of this on your own then you might want to consider keeping a journal.
Keep it in the same place that you keep your diary or phone records.
Write down everything that happened, down to the smallest details, and do it on a daily basis for several days. Think about each point and question it.
Try to work out why this person did what they did and what effect it had on you.
You need to know why they did it, because it will make it easier for you to deal with the situation moving forward.
Then, work out how you can get rid of those that are toxic from your life so that you don’t get hurt again by them.
You’ll need to ask yourself tough questions about this, and that’s something you need to do for yourself so that you know the answers without relying on outside opinions or advice.
8) Watch a movie that makes you feel good
I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I wondered what the point of life was after my ex cheated on me.
I didn’t have the motivation or drive to do much, and instead just sat around feeling like a burden to everyone else.
I recently watched The Notebook again and it made me feel so much better.
It was such a great movie, and although it was extremely sad it still made me feel happy and joyful because it showed how two people could fall in love with each other despite being completely different people.
That’s something that we all need in life, but oftentimes we just don’t see it in others.
And that movie really helped me a lot. At first I was so sad about what happened to my life – being cheated by someone that I loved so much. But after that, I realize that I deserve someone better. Someone really sees who I am and loves me for that. And I believe you deserve someone for yourself too.
9) Post something on Twitter every day
I found this quite funny, but it’s a thing that I’ve seen people do on Twitter.
Basically, you post something that you feel is important and relevant to the world around you every day.
It doesn’t have to be about life and the fact that we can’t live without those people because many of us don’t even like the people we’re stuck with for the long term anyway! It can just be something as ridiculous as a meme or a picture!
It might seem pointless at first, but once you get into it then you’ll find that doing this is actually incredibly useful.
at least it takes your mind out of that sadness. That’s an advantage right?
10) Visit abandoned buildings or stores
I used to be terrified of entering abandoned buildings for some reason. That’s only because it reminds me of the past, and I just don’t want to think of my life in that way.
The people who lived on the first floor used to live a great life, but something happened and they had to move on.
That’s why you’ll often find abandoned houses or stores in the middle of a city.
We lost those people and their lives with them!
Still, that’s not always the case. I’m sure there are other buildings that are still occupied.
It’s good to remember that things aren’t always as they seem though, and sometimes they can actually be even better than we make them out to be!
Doing some thrilling activities like that may help you find that this life is full of experiences that we haven’t tried.
Why take time worrying about someone that has cheated on us?
And besides that, you will also realize: Things change, people change too. The only thing that never changes is “change”.
11) Get a dog (or some pets)
There’s nothing wrong with getting a dog or other pets if you want to!
This is something that helped me get over heartache in the past, and it’s something that will help you too. Pets are great for this kind of thing because they give you companionship and someone to do things with.
Personally, I think that having a dog would be wonderful. It would help things because they wouldn’t judge you for your past and they would love you just the same as if you were single and in a relationship.
Dogs have those kinds of personalities too, and that means that it won’t matter what happened in the past. They’ll love you no matter what!
12) Stay active (either through exercise or other physical activities)
If possible, even if only in your imagination.
You’ll feel calmer and more relaxed if you’re doing something like this, so I’d recommend that you try something like walking or weight-lifting.
The great thing about getting your heart broken is that it’s a good way for you to see just how much exercise affects your mood.
You’ll be clearer headed and happier when you exercise, even if it’s just by sitting down and telling yourself that you should do it.
Don’t worry about being in good enough shape to join a gym or anything like that though.
Other ideas include making sure you don’t sit around all day either.
13) Find ways to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem
After a break-up, your confidence will take a hit because you’re dealing with a lot of negative emotions and you’re feeling down.
Your self-esteem is going to be at an all time low, and it feels like you won’t be able to get back to where you were.
It could be anything from having nice clothes to wear or having the latest gadgets that catch your eye.
Doing this doesn’t mean that you need to fall for someone, although that could help if it’s a person whose company you enjoy.
If your current friends aren’t doing anything for you then it might just be time to find ones that can, but there are other things that also work really well too.
14) Give something up for a few days
First of all, you need to decide how much time you want to give up.
Maybe it’s something that you enjoy doing and could get into, like watching TV or reading a book. That way, it won’t feel like too big of a sacrifice if you do this for a short period of time.
Don’t feel bad about giving something up!
You won’t be able to do things forever anyway. You’ll certainly feel better when the time is over though because you’re actively trying to improve yourself and move on from things.
Giving stuff up helps in this regard because it forces you to work on yourself instead of passively just watching TV every day.
15) Write a letter to yourself that you can read from time to time
If you’re like me and haven’t written a letter in ages, then this is definitely something that you need to do.
It’s not about what you want to say though, it’s about how much you value yourself.
Why are we worth all that effort if we’re not? You need to make sure that you value yourself too!
That way, even if the break-up is still hurting and you don’t want to do anything about it, at least the letters will help! It’s just one of many things that can help in your journey towards being better.
16) Do something different
This is a good one because it’s literally what everyone wants: to see you happy and having a great time!
The world is so big, and there are so many different things that you can do. You don’t have to stick with the same thing for the rest of your life.
Go out for a meal somewhere new, go shopping for clothes, or find some new places to go on holiday.
It doesn’t even have to be about fun!
Go out with some friends for a meal and catch up on what’s been going on since you last saw them.
You should really take advantage of being single in this way! You’ll never know when the chance will come again.
17) Practice meditation
No matter how much time you have, you can always meditate for 10 minutes a day.
You can do more if you want to, but even 10 minutes a day will help!
The important thing is that you start. It doesn’t really matter if you’re not getting very good at it because the point of meditation is not to become a master in it or anything like that.
That would also take too long and put you under a great deal of pressure!
You’ll find though that once you’ve practiced enough that mediation will become easy and fun, and it won’t feel like such a struggle anymore.
Try this breathwork if you are interested.
When I felt the most lost in life, I was introduced to an unusual free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê, which focuses on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace.
At that time of my life, I was not very depressed, but if you were being cheated by someone that you really trust, and you thought that you will spend your life with him forever, then you will understand how lost I was.
But as a strong woman, I didn’t allow myself to drop and stop moving. I looked for solution, and I tried this free breathwork video
Can you believe it? The results were incredible.
But before we go any further, why am I telling you about this?
I’m a big believer in sharing – I want others to feel as empowered as I do. And, if it worked for me, it could help you too.
Want to see if it works for you too? – Click here to watch the video.
18) Don’t look at social media
If you’re struggling to really move on, it might be wise to cut out the negativity.
This is especially the case if you’ve been looking at old pictures and messages from your ex.
You know what will happen if you do this, but sometimes it’s hard to stop.
You may not even notice this at first, but over time you’ll realize that you’re becoming more and more withdrawn.
If you don’t want to avoid social media entirely, then at least try to limit yourself.
Don’t go hunting for new messages or anything like that. If anything negative pops up then leave it be because that negativity is only going to make you feel worse.
If it’s not immediately obvious then just delete it.
19) Be proud of who you are, even when it’s hard
When you’re hurt by someone else, it’s easy to start doubting yourself and thinking that maybe you’re a bad person for feeling the way you do.
You might even think that it means there’s something wrong with you to be feeling the way you do because your love wasn’t enough.
Don’t let that get to you though.
Please don’t give into those feelings of self-doubt and hatred because those are much easier to deal with than being hurt.
20) Finally, accept it
Your ex will be back and that’s a fact. They won’t give up easily either, but you can take control of the situation yourself.
You might have to face them again and deal with things that they’ve done, but in the end it’s up to you how much damage they’ve done in the first place.
You need to understand what happened and why because this will make it easier for you to move pass it.
You’ll have to tell yourself that everything is okay and that there’s nothing wrong with the person who did the things they did.
This may be hard in the short term because you don’t want things to change for the better at all, but as I said before, change is inevitable.
I know that it’s really, really hard to do this, but you have to.
You’re stuck in a limbo where you feel like you’re stuck in a loop.
You’re trying to move forward, but for some reason things are always getting in the way. It might be because of some underlying trauma or grief issues that are still affecting you, so it might be best to just stay at home until you get over them.
Whatever the case is, just remember this: You’re not stuck here forever and there’s no reason why everything should have to stop being great right now.
I hope that this guide has helped you, or at least given you some ideas of how to deal with things.
Whatever you do though, just keep in mind that everything will be okay in the future. You don’t need to hurt yourself or anyone else, so please don’t resort to that.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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