Sometimes, men will reappear after having left you prior to that.
It’s a tricky situation – a part of you is happy that he’s back, while a different part of you doesn’t want to make it “too easy” for him, right?
Well, don’t worry, I have 10 effective ways how to act when a man reappears in your life!
1) Be honest with yourself
The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself.
What are your motivations for him being back in your life? Do you even want him back?
Are you really ready to take on another relationship and all the hard work that comes with it, or are you simply looking for someone to fill that void he left behind?
Only by being honest with yourself can you figure out whether or not this is a good idea.
And remember, if it’s not a good idea, don’t jump into anything!
You see, sometimes, the mere joy of him being back can fill you with so many endorphins that you want to jump right into a relationship with him.
However, take a second to figure out what it is YOU truly want!
Do you want him just because he was unavailable and that made him more attractive?
Or can you actually imagine something with this man?
You see, without being completely honest with yourself, there is no way you can make a good decision in this situation.
Is he a good man? Can you picture yourself in a relationship with him?
All these things are important to consider if you want to be with this man long-term.
If you skip this step and aren’t honest with yourself right off the bat, you are putting yourself in a position where you could potentially get hurt again.
He already disappeared once, leaving you wondering what happened.
Don’t get yourself too invested just to have the same thing happen all over again!
Being honest with yourself has something to do with your self-worth and showing him that you value yourself more than anything else.
But let’s get into the next point:
2) Don’t rush into anything, ground yourself first
The next step is to ground yourself and remember what you want.
You know, it’s totally okay to feel excited about the man coming back into your life.
It is a major change for you and if you’re feeling happy about it, that’s perfectly normal.
But before doing anything else, take some time for yourself to reflect on what you want.
Do you have any goals that need attention?
What do you want from this relationship?
Is he the type of person who would be great for your life?
Thinking through these things will help ground you and keep you grounded during this process.
The number one thing you should remember here is: don’t rush into anything!
If you rush into something, you can completely miss out on what truly deserves to be yours.
Let him come back and show his face and talk to him in the beginning.
Take your time with it and remember – that’s not a punishment!
No, you’re simply taking care of yourself and making sure that he doesn’t use you and disappear again.
You have to take time out to make sure that he is actually the right person for you.
And that’s okay!
This is one of the best ways I can think of to show a man that you are worth something and can handle him.
Don’t let him use you, don’t become his obsessed girlfriend, simply show him your worth by taking your time.
And the best part?
This is also a great way to tell whether he’s being serious about you!
You see, if he isn’t patient enough to wait until you’ve made up your mind, then chances are he isn’t a good man.
And if that’s the case, you can simply move on!
If he is willing to wait, then who knows? You might be onto something really special!
Stay focused on your needs and how this will affect you.
3) Bring out his inner hero
I know, this sounds weird, but if you want this man to fully commit to you, you can try bringing out his inner hero!
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.
The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
4) Don’t show your happiness too much, find out his intentions
When a man reappears, he’s usually looking for some sort of confirmation of his feelings.
Don’t show your happiness too much – remember that you have every right to be cautious of the situation.
Talk to him and find out his intentions.
What are they? How does he plan on handling this?
You don’t want to give in too quickly, just because he reappeared.
It is possible that the man is here to stay, but you’re not going to know for sure until you talk with him about it!
You see, when you immediately show him how happy you are that he is back without knowing his intentions, this could backfire really quickly.
You want to show him that you’re happy he is back, but don’t seem too eager.
If you do that, this will put a lot of pressure on the man and it might make him feel uncomfortable.
Take your time and feel out of the situation! Don’t rush into anything!
Don’t act like his long-lost girlfriend who missed him so much. You have every right to remain cautious about this whole thing.
Even worse, if you show him how happy you are, that could give him the satisfaction of knowing that he could still be with you, and then leave again.
I know, it’s disgusting, but some men actually only reach out to you because they want to know whether they still “have it”.
Don’t ever let him know that you’re still in love with him before knowing his true intentions or you’ll be screwed!
Remember, he already left once!
You don’t know anything about him at all and he could be using your emotions to manipulate you for his own gain.
You see, I know it sounds harsh, but this is what you need to think about.
That is why it is so important to be careful about how you act around him.
If he likes you, he will give you time and space to make up your mind. Don’t rush it!
5) Be cautious when trusting him again
One of the most important things to do when a man reappears is to be cautious.
This might sound contradictory, but it’s not – giving him too much trust could lead to you getting hurt again.
Before trusting him with anything, consider why he left in the first place and what he might have gone through since then.
If he left for another woman, it’s unlikely that he will stay committed this time around.
If he left due to his own issues, such as depression or substance abuse, then you should be careful about giving him your trust until he proves that he has worked on himself and has gotten help.
Look, I am the biggest advocate for having an open heart and trusting people, but when someone has proven to you that they aren’t trustworthy, they will have to earn back that trust. You can’t just give it away.
Here’s a simple rule:
If you are unsure about the man or have any concerns about him, don’t give him any control over what you do and how the relationship develops.
You see, when you blindly trust him, there is a chance that you will get hurt again.
However, if he shows you over the course of a few weeks or even months that he is serious about you, that’s when you can trust him more.
This way, you will know that he is really ready to commit again, as opposed to someone who has shown that they are not serious about your relationship and just want to use it for their own gain.
And for those who say, “I don’t know how to tell if a man is really serious about me”, here’s a quick test:
If you know what he wants, if you are working toward it together, then that’s when a man is serious about the relationship.
I’m all for trusting someone and giving them second chances, but they have to be well-deserved and worked hard for!
6) Get very clear on what you want
The next step is to get very clear on what you want.
Think about all the reasons he left and why you’re attracted to him.
A man who reappears is an opportunity for giving him a second chance. Do you want this second chance? Or are you trying to find closure?
You see, before you get very clear on what you want with yourself and him, you can’t expect him to know what you want with him.
You have to make your own decisions about this.
The way you act can be really confusing for a man like this and it could lead him to think that you are unsure of yourself or that you are wavering on the relationship.
That is why it is so important to get very clear on what you want:
If he reappears and you know exactly what you want, then he will have no reason to feel confused or uncertain about your intentions.
And the best part?
If you want a relationship, make that very clear to him, so that there is no doubt in his mind what you want out of this connection.
Then, if he is not on the same page, you will know right away.
And for heaven’s sake, please don’t settle for something other than what you want just so you can spend some time with him.
You see, some men are not going to even attempt to make this relationship work.
And if he just wants to live uncommittedly, you will have no chance of making a future with him.
It’s so much better to be alone than to settle for someone you like who doesn’t treat you well.
If you take this time to be alone, I can promise you that you are making room for the right man to come into your life.
One who doesn’t need to be convinced that you are worth the effort!
That is why it is so important to get very clear on what you want.
7) Talk to a relationship coach
While this article will shed light on the main things you can do when a man reappears, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing.
8) Try to be confident when around him again
First of all, stop thinking about him.
At this point, it’s not about him anymore. It’s about you and what you want for your life.
If he wants to come back – great! But if he doesn’t – that’s fine too! You don’t have to make any promises or commitments until you’re sure you’re ready for them.
Just try and be confident when around him again.
Smile a lot, even if it feels unnatural at first. The more confidence you show, the more likely he’ll be to take the bait and continue flirting with you!
But that’s not all! When you are confident, you make it seem as though his absence didn’t really faze you in the slightest!
I know it’s hard to believe, but this is exactly what he wants to hear.
Men love confident women, no doubt about it. It makes you seem more attractive and more desirable.
This is why it is so important to be very confident when you are around him again.
The more confident you act, the more likely he will try and pursue you after he returns.
And the best part?
Being confident will show him that he can’t mess with you.
So even though he has left, if you can just be confident, believing in yourself and your own worth, then you will make it very clear that he cannot mess with you anymore when he comes back.
The more confident you are, the more he will want you, and the more he will realize that he needs to treat you right!
It’s a win-win-win for you!
9) Leave if he pressures you to take a leap of faith or doesn’t give you time
If he pressures you to take a leap of faith or doesn’t give you time to think about it, then you should probably leave.
This is not someone who respects your feelings and values the relationship enough to wait for you.
You see, if a man doesn’t realize that he has hurt you a lot and that this will take time to heal and forgive, then he isn’t the right person for you.
And if he doesn’t give you time to think, then he isn’t the right person for you.
He can’t really care about your feelings and wants to take advantage of you.
So if he doesn’t respect your feelings, don’t let him have you.
Take the time whether or not you decide to be with him. It’s only fair that you at least give yourself the chance to think about it first.
Think about it: if he pressures you into making a decision right away, he doesn’t respect your feelings at all.
It’s not like you just have to decide on the day to take a leap of faith with him.
You might have been dating for a long time, so he has gotten used to your way of thinking and thinks that he knows what you want.
But he left and you have changed, so don’t feel pressured to decide right away what you need to do!
10) Don’t act as if nothing happened
If he left you because he didn’t want to commit, and now he’s back, then maybe it’s worth having a conversation about what’s changed.
You see when he comes back and you act as if nothing has happened, you are subconsciously giving him the green light that what he did was okay.
You might not want to do this, but that doesn’t matter.
If you act as if nothing happened, you are giving him the impression that it is okay and that he can do this as many times as he wants.
Needless to say, that is not the impression you want to give off, am I right?
You see, if he realizes how his actions have hurt you, then he won’t do it again.
So when you act as if nothing has happened, you are not letting him know how his behavior has affected you.
Maybe he thought what he did was okay, but he will never be able to see it from your perspective unless you tell him!
If he doesn’t apologize or ask for forgiveness, don’t let him back into your life
If he doesn’t have the decency to apologize or ask for forgiveness, it’s safe to say that he has no place back in your life.
If a man reappears in your life and doesn’t apologize, acknowledge his mistakes and ask for forgiveness from you then there is no chance he deserves to be back with you.
Think about it: this man left you hanging and now he shows up without even apologizing for what he did? What makes him think that he deserves you back?
I know that a lot of times, people apologize to get what they want.
They will say anything to get what they want, so it’s important to be careful whether or not his apology is sincere if he has one.
But there is no point in letting a man back into your life if he refuses to apologize or acknowledge his mistakes and hurts.
If he can’t even understand how something like this has hurt you, then I don’t even want to imagine what he would be like as a boyfriend, let alone a husband! Don’t let him come back to “try again”.
A lot of times, a man who decides to reenter your life will use the excuse that he wants to try again.
He’ll say, “I just want to try this one more time, and if it doesn’t work out then I won’t bother you anymore.”
Now, don’t get me wrong here – it’s okay to have a conversation about giving things another shot.
But if he is not remorseful about what he did, let him go!
End the relationship if you feel you need it
If you don’t want to get back with him and feel like he’s trying to worm his way back into your life, I would recommend ending the relationship right away.
There is no point in trying another time if you already feel kind of over it.
He has hurt you, you have moved on and you shouldn’t give him a second chance to hurt you if he doesn’t respect your feelings.
You see, if you aren’t emotionally involved anymore, don’t force yourself into it, it might only hurt you in the end.
Instead, see this as a good sign – you have healed and moved on from him!!
Do what feels right
No matter what, my number one tip is to do what feels right to you at the moment.
There is no use in trying to have a relationship if at your core, you know it’s not working out.
And if you want him to fully commit?
I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.
Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.
And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.
So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.