You’ve completely fallen for him. But there’s one small catch…
He’s married. It’s not like he can just pick up the phone and call you anytime, so you have no idea if he’s thinking about you or not.
So you find yourself googling “how often do married men think about their mistresses” in the hopes of finding some answers.
And luckily for you, you’ve come just to the right place.
This is a no-judgement article, so don’t worry, you’re not about to get a lecture on morality. I’m here to give you unique insight into what’s happening inside his mind.
Read on to find out 10 things you must consider, as well as how to make him think of you even more.
1) Are you his only mistress?
Are you the only mistress on his list? Or is he juggling three other girls?
If there are other girls in the picture, then you’re not his most important mistress — at least not yet. You probably can’t expect him to be dedicating a lot of thought to any single one of them.
On the other hand, if you’re the only one, then his attention is clearly more focused… on you!
If he has several mistresses and you see him spending more time with you and less with the others, that’s a sign that he’s thinking about you more and more.
2) Are you a top priority?
If your relationship is still new, then he may not have a clear concept of the difference between a top priority and an exciting new distraction.
But as you get to know him more, you’ll see over time how and when he makes time for you.
Does he call you up just when he has nothing to do and his wife is out of town? Or does he go through the trouble of sneaking around to see you whenever he possibly can?
This means you’re not just an afterthought — you’re his top priority.
You’re clearly on his mind, as he’s willing to do nearly anything just to see you!
3) Does he give you thoughtful gifts?
If your married man thinks about you, you might find yourself being showered with thoughtful gifts.
He just can’t help it… everything makes him think of you. The beautiful scarf that would complement your hair perfectly. The perfume he is just dying to smell on your skin. Tickets to your favorite band, which is coming into town.
Wherever he goes, you are on his mind — and so he finds a ton of things that could make you happy.
He’ll also be attentive to what you like so that he can fulfill your desires. That necklace he saw you checking out online? Don’t be surprised if he shows up to your next date with a beautifully wrapped box, exactly the size of a jewelry box.
4) What would a gifted advisor say?
The points above and below will give you a good idea if your married man is thinking about you.
But of course, every relationship is different, and each man is unique in his own way.
So if you want a surefire answer to this burning question, you should get personalized guidance from a gifted advisor.
They can answer questions like, how often does he think about you? Does he miss you when you’re not with him? Has he truly fallen in love with you?
The problem is finding someone you can trust.
That’s why I recommend Psychic Source. When I signed up for a reading, they provided me with a unique insight into where my relationship was going, including who I am meant to be with.
Having tried several online advisors, I think they’re by far the most caring, compassionate and helpful network of gifted advisors out there.
Not only will a genuine advisor tell you how your married man really feels about you, but they can reveal all your love possibilities.
5) He talks about you to mutual friends or colleagues
You probably have a couple mutual friends or colleagues in common.
They can be one of the keys to finding out if he thinks about you.
First of all, do they know about your affair? If he has told them, it’s clear he’s been thinking about you a lot — so much that he can’t help but talk about you!
It also shows that you’re important to him and not someone he forgets as soon as he gets dressed again.
So keep your eyes peeled and your ear to the ground, and you might find the answer to this question!
6) Is his wife giving him hell?
You’ve probably addressed the elephant in the room… his wife. How does he describe her?
If he talks about her as someone who’s constantly nagging him and won’t give him a moment of peace, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re in his thoughts more and more.
You become an oasis in his mind that he can retreat to whenever his wife starts driving him nuts. The thought of you is what calms him down and allows him to push through.
He’s probably mentally counting down the minutes until he gets to be with you again.
7) Does he love spending time with you?
This is a very important question.
If he makes time for you, it’s obvious that you’re an important part of his life, regardless of how discreet everything has to be.
You can tell if he thinks about you by listening to the way he talks to you. If he puts away all the distractions so he can focus only on you, it’s clear that he loves spending time with you.
And he’ll be thinking about this time spent together even long after he leaves.
8) Do you trigger his hero instinct?
Want to know one of the best ways to tell how often he thinks about you?
It’s simple. You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him never able to stop thinking about you.
9) Does he post things on social media only you could resonate with?
It may be something small, like a favorite quote or picture of your favorite place to meet up.
It could be nearly anything, but you’ll be sure to recognize it, as it will be highly personal in a way only you could understand.
Keep an eye out for things like this on his social media. Even if he’s not able to text you all day, this is one more way that he’s trying to be close to you, and letting you know that he’s always thinking about you.
10) Do you turn him on?
You know what men spend most of their time thinking about… socks.
Haha, of course not. And let’s hope he’s not wearing them in the scenario that’s the true answer!
So now the question is, are you the one he’s thinking about during these moments?
Men populate their fantasies with women that turn them on.
These signs will be fairly obvious to pick up on. The chemistry is off the charts, and you can just feel that he loves you in bed.
If he isn’t able to keep his hands off you when he’s with you, you can be sure he isn’t able to keep his mind off you when you’re apart.
How to make a married man think about his mistress
I know what you’re feeling. You wish you could openly be with him, but that’s just not possible right now.
The time you do have together just zooms by, and every second spent apart feels like forever.
You miss him all the time, and you just hope that he’s thinking of you as much as you are of him.
Well, what if you could actually do something to make this happen?
Here are 7 easy things to do to make him feel like he can’t spend another second away from you.
This may sound like obvious advice, but it’s so important, I had to include it.
You need to be who you are. Don’t try to change who you are for him, just because he has a wife — that’ll only backfire.
Enjoy your time together and be the best version of yourself in his company, not some kind of false alter ego. He already loves you for exactly who you are. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be undergoing so much risk to be with you!
So forget about playing any sort of mind games. He’ll see right through it, and it’s one of the first things that turn men off.
Instead, if you’re worrying about how he feels about you, one of the best things you can do for yourself is speak to a gifted advisor at Psychic Source.
I mentioned them earlier. They have helped me out in the past and I’ve always found them honest and compassionate in their readings.
So instead of trying to solve all your love problems on your own, speak to an advisor who’ll give you the answers you’re looking for.
Be open to his family and friends
His wife is probably the one person that he’s hiding you from the most.
For whatever reason he can’t leave her, at least not now. And until he can, naturally he wants to keep you away from her at all times.
It’s natural if you feel a little jealousy or contempt for his family. After all, they’re the people who are keeping him away from you!
But be sure to remember that he has good reasons for needing to keep things this way for now. Show him you are able to understand this by giving him the space necessary to tend to his family relationships.
He’ll appreciate you all the more for being so understanding and empathetic, and not nagging him all the time.
Be there for him
You want to show him that you can be trusted, right? That he doesn’t have to worry about his wife finding out before he tells her himself.
Show him you can be this person by being there for him when he needs you.
Be there when he feels like his mind is spinning out of control and he just needs someone to talk to. Be the shoulder he cries on when things are tough with his wife, and she’s driving him crazy.
Be happy with him when he shares the positive things in his life, and offer support when hard times hit.
He’ll realize he can rely on you through anything, and this will make him appreciate you even more.
You might feel like you have to be with him all the time. I mean, you’re so crazy about him and just can’t get enough!
But it’s important that you keep your own life.
Make sure you have hobbies unrelated to your married man, and that you keep dedicating time to them. Don’t be afraid to make plans with your friends, instead of waiting around hoping he might call.
And above all, invest time into your personal physical and mental health.
This will show you’re a confident person who can stand on their own without being clingy or needy. When he sees this, he’ll realize you’re not just a lost puppy following him around, but that you’ve got your own independence and awesome life going on without him too.
What do you think his reaction will be? Well, most likely, he’ll want to make you want him even more, and he’ll spend hours thinking about how to bring the two of your closer!
Work on yourself
I can’t possibly stress this tip enough. Whether you’re trying to make your married man think of you or not, you should absolutely set aside some time for self improvement.
This doesn’t mean getting a new hairstyle or a manicure. I’m talking about changing things that are holding you back from your full potential.
Maybe you’re always late and it’s making you look unreliable to the people around you. If so, then start honing your time management skills now!
Or perhaps sign up to learn that language you’ve always talked about wanting to be fluent in.
There are few things that are more attractive than seeing someone put effort and care into being the best versions of themselves.
In fact, research found that seeing that their ex has become a better person in some way was one of the top reasons that broken up couples decided to get back together!
Of course, personal development is done first and foremost for you. But making your married man think of you is just one of the amazing side benefits you’ll get from it.
Trigger his hero instinct
This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to spend all day thinking about his mistress.
And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
Be fun to be around
If you’re looking for your married man to think of you more often, then you probably want him to be able to spend time with you as much as possible.
A prime way to make this happen is by being the most fun, exciting person in his company.
After all, his wife is no doubt an amazing woman in all sorts of ways. There’s a reason he married her, after all.
But clearly, you have something she doesn’t. Maybe things haven’t been going so well for them, or she has changed.
Don’t be shy to let your best qualities shine when you’re with your married man, and give him the best time you possibly can. This will make him keep thinking of you long after you’ve said goodbye, and itching to see you again as soon as possible.
Do married men miss their mistresses?
Hopefully, the points and tips above will shed some light on how your married man feels about you — and how often his thoughts drift in your direction.
But if there’s a part of you that still wants to know more, I recommend speaking to a genuine advisor.
And there’s one company that I always end up recommending, Psychic Source. Not only did they blow me away with their accurate reading, but they were also kind and understanding of my situation.
So if you’re tired of wondering about how often he really thinks about you, get in touch with a gifted advisor and take your future into your own hands. I did, and I’ve never looked back since.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.