So, you’ve been chatting to someone you really fancy and suddenly, they’ve stopped messaging you back.
Looks like you’ve just been ghosted and you want answers!
There are many reasons that people ghost, and some of them may surprise you. If your crush is no longer responding to your messages, they may be busy or just not feel like talking.
But if you’re frustrated and want answers, here are 10 things to consider before making a decision.
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is a relatively new term and is used to describe someone who just completely stops messaging you after you’ve been chatting.
It’s tantamount to being rejected without rhyme or reason and with no closure.
Your crush abruptly ends all communication with you and you don’t see it coming. It’s incredibly frustrating and can leave you feeling paranoid, hurt, and utterly confused.
Ghosting doesn’t only occur between people who are in relationships. It can happen to anyone who has been dating or hooking up with someone and then it just stops.
Ghosting is a great way to get back at someone who has wronged you, but it’s also a very cowardly way of hurting someone and often can leave the ghostee feeling very confused about what happened.
Ghosting is the worst, especially when you’re the ghostee! The real question that needs to be asked is why are we so afraid of confrontation?
Why do we feel like it’s okay to treat people like this? Why do we think that this is acceptable behavior? If you’re doing it, please stop!
Do ghosters come back?
This depends on the circumstances and it’s not something that’s clear cut.
The best I can do is sometimes yes and sometimes know, what I can do is tell you about my personal experience in being ghosted.
I have been ghosted before and it’s probably one of the most frustrating, disappointing, and outright depressing things that can happen to a person.
I’ve had several relationships where I was so into someone that when I was ghosted it took me months to really get over it.
But as time has gone on, I’ve realized that being ghosted isn’t always a bad thing.
Here are some reasons why:
1) Avoid future heartache
It means you didn’t have to go through all of the awkward breakup conversations and instead got to part ways with someone on good terms.
If someone ghosts you it’s probably because they have no desire to be in your life anymore.
They already know that you’re not right for each other and that it’s time to move on.
If you’ve been ghosted it means you can stop beating yourself up over a relationship that wasn’t going to work out anyways.
2) They’re dishonest
It means you didn’t have to deal with them cheating on you or being a bad person.
If someone ghosts you it probably means they were dishonest or weren’t treating you well enough and as hard as it is, ghosting is better than having someone treat you like crap for months before deciding to break things off with them.
3) They weren’t right for you
It gives you the opportunity to find someone better suited for your needs, wants, and desires.
If someone ghosts you it gives you the chance to go out into the world and find someone actually interested in being with you.
Maybe your ghoster was never the right person for you to begin with, but now you get to find out for sure.
4) A real love advisor confirms it
The reasons in this article will give you an insight into why being ghosted isn’t always a bad thing.
Even so, issues related to dating and ghosting can be confusing at the best of times, especially as your situation is unique to you.
So could getting some outside guidance help?
After a really challenging breakup, I found that speaking to an advisor from Psychic Source was super helpful.
The advisor I spoke to was kind, understanding, and genuinely helpful.
My love reading gave me the guidance I was looking for (and needed) during a painful and confusing time.
Not only can a gifted advisor tell you whether the one who ghosted you will come back, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.
5) It’s an ego-boost!
It gives your ego a much-needed boost.
Having someone ghost you means that they didn’t want to spend time with you, talk to you, or even be around you anymore so it’s pretty damn awesome because it means that if they didn’t want to be around you you probably intimidated them!
6) Builds character
It can help build up your character and self-esteem.
If someone ghosts you, try your best to not let it affect you too much, but sometimes it does get the better of you. We’re all human and our feelings get hurt.
It’s important for people to be able to take rejection or criticism in stride because that’s how we learn about ourselves and grow as a person.
7) They’re cowards
Another reason why people ghost is because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
They would rather just stop messaging and avoid the whole conversation altogether.
With the advent of the digital age, ghosting is easy.
Blocking you from social media, WhatsApp and their eye phone might seem like a better option to them besides manning up and telling you how they feel.
8) They have problems
People ghost because they are going through something in their life that they don’t want to talk about.
Maybe they’re going through something that they don’t want to burden you with and they feel ashamed about it.
That’s ok. If they prefer cutting all contact with you instead of talking through it, it shows you that you didn’t really mean that much to them in the first place.
Count your blessings for dodging a bullet!
But as you know, when it comes to love, things rarely go as smoothly as we’d like them to.
That’s why I recommend speaking to one of the gifted advisors over at Psychic Source.
I mentioned them earlier.
They’ve been incredibly helpful in the past when I’ve needed guidance on my love life, and they’ll certainly be able to help you with your ghoster.
Whether you prefer to chat online, or jump on a call and speak face-to-face, you can get clarity on this situation right now.
9) They’re users
Once you’ve given them what they wanted they leave you out in the cold.
You’ve served your purpose and they no longer have an appetite for you. That’s ok. You’re better off without them.
Let them move on and take it as a lesson learned!
10) You weren’t that special
It’s a tough pill to swallow; I know. It’s hurtful to think that someone who you invested time and energy into could just kick you to the curb.
Unfortunately, such is life. People pretend and can lie to you with a straight face. Realizing that you just didn’t mean anything to them is a sobering thought.
But, the good news is, there are plenty of others out there who will move heaven and earth to be with you.
11) Do you really want someone like that back?
If you’re still wondering whether or not your ghoster will come back, you might need to do some serious soul searching.
They ghosted you for a reason, ok, that reason might not be known to you but they have their reasons. Why waste your time on something that isn’t meant to be.
You should take it for what it is and move on. If they come back, and you decide to give them another chance, that’s a whole nother article.
The thing is.
Ghosting is unacceptable.
It’s disrespectful and it’s a deal-breaker.
In the rare instance that they ended up in the hospital or there’s a real plausible excuse for their non-contact, that’s fine. However, don’t make somebody a priority who only makes you an option.
How do you know when you are being ghosted?
Oh, you’ll know alright!
Say perhaps you’re into someone and you’ve been on a good couple of dates.
You’re happy with the progress you’re making and have no concerns, nor do you have any reason to believe things are anything other than great.
But then one day, out of nowhere this person decides that there’s something wrong with them or they need space for whatever reason – maybe it was just an off night but now suddenly everything is different between the two of you.
There is no you two because the other party has vanished.
They know that but you don’t. Instead of opening up and letting you know how they feel they just cut you off.
Text, phone calls, and DMs are non-existent and you’re panicking whether or not to start calling hospitals, morgues, or start thinking that the most plausible reason for their non-contact is alien abduction.
You’re left in the dark, wondering what the hell happened and wishing you could just get one last word in before you’re ghosted.
What to do when a ghoster comes back?
If you really can’t stop yourself from trying to gain closure, don’t contact them immediately.
And, definitely, DO NOT send thousands of texts and try ringing them constantly. This reeks of desperation and you’re definitely not desperate!
Try giving it a few days or even weeks before you reach out to them again. This gives them time to think about their actions and may make them realize that they made a mistake.
Sometimes, people make rash decisions and it’s only once the penny drops that they realize that they’ve made a huge mistake!
If they do contact you, don’t rush things, don’t go back too soon!
You will be more hurt if you go back too soon because you’ll think that they’ve changed but, in reality, their character hasn’t changed at all.
They’re just manipulating you so that they can have a second chance.
Don’t fall for it!
If someone has done something terrible to your heart and is trying to get another shot with them without any real effort on their part then there’s no way I’m going down the same path twice again.
If you’re going to give them a second chance, I suggest you do so very cautiously.
Remember the saying, once bitten, twice shy.
Let that be your mantra!
What do people ghost one another?
There are many reasons why your crush could ghost you. We live in a digital world where falling off the face of the earth is easier than ever. But why/!
So, here’s what the studies reveal.
A study conducted by OkCupid revealed that “ghosting” was the second most common reason for breakups (the first being cheating).
The survey also revealed that ghosters are usually men in their early 20s, who have a very short-term view of relationships and have been ghosted more than four times.
They also tend to be younger than the person they’re dating, and are more likely to be single.
In 2015, research conducted by the Huffington Post found that more than half of all people had experienced ghosting before and it was most common among millennials (aged 18-34).
In addition, in 2016 a study by Ghosting.com showed that over 50% of people knew someone who had been ghosted.
The most common reason for ghosting is that the person you’re interested in is no longer interested in you.
According to the survey, 60% of people claimed that they have been ghosted by someone they were dating at one time or another.
The data also showed that women were more likely to be ghosted than men and women are also more likely to be the ones doing the ghosting.
According to a recent study by Elate (a ghosting-free dating app) stats revealed that 43% of app users ghosted others because they didn’t have the courage to let the other person know that they were no longer interested and also, hated the awkwardness that comes along with telling someone “I’m just really not that into you.”
Further details revealed that:
37% of ghosters reportedly did so because they didn’t like what the other person was saying to them and 36% ghosted because they were actually too busy to respond.
In 2016, a study by Ghosting.com showed that over 50% of people knew someone who had been ghosted.
So, as you can see, ghosting is common, and if you’re going through this, you’re clearly not alone, and hopefully, this helps you to feel a little better!
Being ghosted sucks. I know this first hand and the best approach here is to do absolutely nothing.
Yes, you feel shaken, you feel angry, frustrated and your self-esteem tanks but, sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise, think of it as the trash taking itself out.
Somebody who truly cares for you will not want to make you feel worried, sad, or anxious.
When someone ghosts you, it also shows their character and gives you insight into how disrespectful they can be.
You will also know that you are worth more than some of the other people in your life that deserve better.
I’m not saying to be mean or rude back but, if they don’t deserve you they don’t deserve to be in your life.
You deserve better and you are better.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.