How long should I wait for a guy? 10 things to consider

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Are you in a situation where you’re wondering how long to wait for a guy? 

Let’s be honest, it feels like an eternity waiting and you’re not sure if he’ll come around.

Our time is precious, but are you wasting it waiting for someone who’s not worth your time? 

Start asking yourself questions before you throw away all your time chasing the wrong guy.

Here are 10 things to consider when you’re wondering how long to wait for a guy:

1) How much time have you invested in him?

The first phase of dating should all be exciting and fun. This is where you get to discover all the good and bad qualities in a person. 

Recalling how many dates you have been with him might help.

If you’re going on multiple dates or you’ve already been on dates with him, he’s already passing a test. This might mean that he’s worth your time and you should keep moving forward.  

If you’re feeling a little let down by him, you should ask yourself if you’ve invested too much time already. 

At this point, if he hasn’t made any effort to get to know your family and friends, or wants to be exclusive, you might be wasting your time.

If it’s just been one date, don’t worry too much at this point and see how the next date goes. If he’s not asking for a second date, then move onto someone else that is interested in you. 

2) What are you looking for?

You have to be clear in your mind about what type of relationship you’re looking for. 

Obviously, everyone has a preference. You want to find someone who reciprocates your feelings and feelings towards them. 

If he’s not the long-term relationship type and that’s what you are looking for, it is a great idea that you shouldn’t continue to wait for him.  

It’s important that if you’re seeing someone, you feel like they’re the one. You shouldn’t be confused on whether or not he will commit or give himself to you 100%. Does this mean, if a guy isn’t in a relationship with you that he isn’t willing to be in one? Not necessarily. 

It’s great to know that he’s unsure of his feelings, but if he doesn’t even try to get close to you, it makes you wonder how long would you wait for him

Trust me, it’s better to know if you’re heading towards the same direction as him before starting anything. You should know if you’re on the same page about what you’re looking for in a relationship.

3) How’s his behavior towards you and other people?

When you are trying to figure out how long should you wait for a guy, one thing you need to consider is the way he acts around others. 

If he has a negative attitude, is disinterested in talking to people, and doesn’t want to be around others, this does not bode well for you. 

Something to keep in mind is that if he is not social, the sparks aren’t there because of the lack of communication and interaction between the two of you. 

This doesn’t mean that he might be interested in friendship or just getting to know you better first. It’s a red flag if he’s lacking in conversation or really open to conversation.

Think about it, if you’re having a great time together and everything is going well, he should be expressing himself around other people too. 

If not, this will lead you to a lot of questions you should ask yourself, like:

– Why does he act this way? 

– What is he looking for with me?

– I wonder if he’s not happy with me…

– Am I in a place that makes him feel happy? 

If he has no interest in being around other people or not really into talking with you, it’s time for you to move on and look for someone who does.

4) Does he appreciate the time being spent together?

If you’re spending a lot of time with your guy and he’s not giving you the appreciation you deserve, it’s time for you to pick up your game and make him appreciate you. 

You need to give back what he is doing and how he is showing his affection towards you. 

If he doesn’t want to spend that much time with you, then maybe it makes sense that there isn’t a long-term future between the two of you.

Let’s be honest about this, if he’s not sharing or reciprocating the same feelings you have for him, why wait for him?

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learnt about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what trap us in things like the chains of fear, grabbing onto things that weren’t serving us at all, hindering us to enjoy being free and loved.

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts about worthy men and love.

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty. 

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like wasting our time on unworthy men.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. 

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution if I am waiting for a man worthy of my time and efforts.

If you’re done with wasting your time on love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.

5) How sure are you that he cares about you?

Just because he shows signs of being interested in you, that doesn’t necessarily mean he cares about you. 

There are a lot of guys out there who might hit on you, but that doesn’t mean he has sincere feelings for you. It’s best for you to look at what are the feelings that he has for you. 

It’s likely that if he’s treating you like any other girl, there is a big chance that it is not going to go anywhere. If he treats your friends and family as well as himself with respect and honesty, this might be a good sign. 

Does he treat you the same way when you’re out of his sight? Does he treat his friends and family with that same respect and respect towards you? 

Notice how he talks to you. How does he phrase things? Does he exactly care about what’s going on or is it a casual conversation where it’s all about himself and not about you and the relationship between the two of you at all?

This is indicating on how serious he is about you and where the relationship is headed. 

You need to make sure that this guy is not only interested in getting into your pants.

This can happen to anyone, regardless of how good-looking or interesting they are. 

6) Why are you waiting for him?

Are you addicted to the chase? Some people are so passionate about being in love that they will keep chasing someone even when it’s not worth it anymore. 

Instead of stopping yourself from falling in love with this person, try and understand why you’ve chosen this person in the first place. 

Ask yourself, why are you waiting on this person

It could be because this person is a challenge you’re looking to overcome, that you want to show your friends and family that you have a worthy guy in your life. 

Or, it could also be that you need attention, support and all those things that are not available from your guy. 

This is not always the case, but it’s something to look into. 

Sometimes we want someone because we want to feel like somebody loves us and we need the attention. Often, these relationships don’t work out because one or both people isn’t ready for something serious yet.

Or maybe, you really have strong feelings for this person enough for you to wait? 

You see, any person wouldn’t wait for someone if they don’t feel any attraction at all. 

If you’re having a hard time understanding why you’re waiting for someone, it’s because you have a hard time identifying your feelings. 

This is something that is not meant to happen to you in the first place, but it’s part of the process. When we are driven by strong feelings and emotions, our actions become clear and honest. You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed about expressing your feelings – it’s an important part of the process. 

I know, it’s a difficult situation and requires you to be honest with yourself.

Because sometimes, we tend to forget these things. We’re so busy looking at someone in a good light that we tend to forget what’s really going on between the two of you.

7) What do your friends think?

You know, 90% of the people out there are attracted to happy people. 

It’s like a magnetic field. When you’re open and loving to yourself and others, other people want to be around you too. 

It doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time for us to learn how to love ourselves in order for us to share this love with others. 

If you have friends who are very supportive of your relationship, they will be able to notice the negative things in your partner as well as positive ones. If your friends aren’t supportive of your relationship, then what do you think will happen to that relationship of yours? 

But it’s not only about your friends. You see, we attract what we are. 

So if you’ve been in a relationship with a lot of unhappy and negative experiences, it’s because you have been attracting those kinds of people into your life. 

It’s no one else’s fault but mostly yours, actually. But that doesn’t mean that the other person must suffer from these experiences as well.

Knowing your dating history, your friends will for sure care enough to tell you that this is not a good person to choose as your partner. Friends are also very sensitive to this kind of thing.

It’s something that we can’t say straight out. It’s too painful for us to witness our friends getting hurt and trying to help them get out of the relationship they are in. 

Your friends will be able to notice negative things about him and how he treats you without trying to manipulate you in any way.

8) Do you think you are right for each other?

Sometimes, even if he is a good guy who treats you well, you might have doubts about yourself. Add this doubt to the list of reasons why you’re not sure if he’s the one for you. 

The truth is that we are always learning how to love ourselves and open up to others through our thoughts. 

Because of this, we aren’t ever ready for a relationship in the first place. We are always changing and growing and that’s perfectly normal. 

You need to understand that it’s about being ready for a happy relationship with someone who cares about who we are and values us as human beings. This is something that is not meant to be forced on ourselves. 

It has to happen naturally. 

You need to make sure that you are ready for a relationship of this magnitude and not just one day, but years down the road. 

If you aren’t ready and your relationship only lasts a couple of months, it’s because you haven’t mastered yourself yet. And because we are constantly learning how to love ourselves, the right relationship will come at some point in the future.

9) How many times has he broken your trust?

When you’re in a relationship, trust becomes one of the most important things. 

If your partner cannot be trustworthy, don’t be surprised but your relationship isn’t going to work out in the long run. 

Sometimes, even if a guy is capable of being an amazing boyfriend with great qualities and good traits, he might end up hurting you so many times that you can’t keep going forward with him. 

For some people, it’s because he has lied to them about something that was important for them to know. 

At other times, he might have done something that made them feel uncomfortable or violated their trust. 

When you’re dating someone, trust in each other is a must. 

But there are some situations that can happen to you and affect this trust of yours. 

If it’s not your fault, don’t hold onto the situation, because that just makes things worse in trying to move on with a healthy relationship. 

The key here is to not be dependent and cling to any situation that comes along.

10) How wrong is it to wait for him?

You’re right, there’s no right or wrong in this situation. But you can hurt yourself mentally and emotionally by making yourself believe that this is the right thing to do. 

If you think that you need to wait for him and make him take responsibility of something he’s done, you’ll be putting a lot of pressure on yourself. 

It’s up to you whether or not it’s worth it. 

Think about the situation and see if it’s worth it for you to be holding on for so long. 

If your answer to this is yes then don’t doubt yourself anymore and wait for him until he comes back around again all ready to start something serious with you. 

If your answer to this is no, well, it’s time to let go and move on. You have been there long enough and nothing has happened yet, you might as well move on now. 

The key is to take things into your own hands. Be responsible for your actions and decide what you want to do.

Final words

Yes, the waiting game – it’s tricky, confusing, and frustrating. But it’s part of life, and it’s something we all have to go through at some point. 

You have to understand that relationships are not meant to be forced. 

Every relationship has its own timeline and you cannot rush time or push your partner into something just because you think that time is running out too quickly.

You have to love yourself first before you can love any other person in this world. And when you truly love yourself, you’ll know exactly who or what is right for you and what isn’t.

Sometimes, our mind may seem like it’s never going to work in our favor.

It would be nice to believe that we can change our partner’s behavior and make them into a person who will never hurt us. 

Still, what if they don’t want to change? What if they’re not ready to invest in you and your relationship? What if they’re just not that into you and unable to give the same effort as you are? 

You have a lot of questions when it comes to this particular situation. But what you need to remember is that there’s no right or wrong when it comes to dating or relationships. You can’t force something on yourself. 

You can only be honest with yourself when looking at your circumstances. 

Now, is he worth the wait?

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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