11 ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Falling in love is a huge rush, but it can also be very frightening. 

Especially if it’s your first time, you may feel like you’re on a rollercoaster that’s falling off the tracks. 

You can almost hear the steel screws popping off the trestle as you prepare to plunge into the unknown and cling desperately to the safety bar. 

I think the ride is malfunctioning! Who do I call?


This kind of fear can make people do some strange things!

Here’s how guys act when they’re falling for someone and it freaks them out.

11 ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared

Look out for these signs. 

A guy acting this way is falling for you but scared of it at the same time, which can be a tricky situation to navigate. 

1) Sending super mixed signals

Women have gotten a reputation for sending mixed signals, but honestly guys shouldn’t get off the hook so easily. 

They’re super guilty of doing this as well in many situations. 

One of the most common ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to send mixed signals. 

One day they’re fully into you and texting back rapidly or doing all sorts of romantic things…

…The next they’re giving you the cold shoulder, seemingly ghosting you and leaving you confused and upset. 

What’s up with this?

It can be a classic sign that this guy actually has deeper feelings for you but doesn’t know what to do about them. 

He wants to pursue the feelings, for sure, but he’s also scared of getting burned, leading to his mixed up behavior. 

2) Getting intensely jealous at tiny things

Another way guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to get very jealous about nothing. 

This overreaction is often a way that they try to gain a handle on the strong emotions that are flooding them

If you as a woman don’t respond well to jealousy, this can actually kill a relationship or connection in its early stages. 

You seem him being obviously jealous and starting to act possessive and you get spooked. 

I wouldn’t blame you, and in some cases it can definitely be a red flag of a toxic and very insecure guy. 

However if it’s flaring up suddenly out of nowhere, keep in mind that it can be him struggling with falling in love with you. 

He isn’t sure how to manage and deal with these emotions and thus starts becoming hyper-conscious of everyone you talk to and why. 

This usually fades away once he comes to grips with being in love with you. 

3) He avoids talking about the future with you

Another of the ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to dodge any talks of the future. 

This seems contradictory:

Wouldn’t a guy who’s falling in love be super excited to talk about the future? 

Yes and no. 

The idea inspires him, but he’s also scared of how intensely he feels for you and very worried about being hurt

For this reason you may notice him being overly avoidant about talking about getting serious or what comes next for the two of you. 

Bottom line?

He’s terrified of getting rejected. 

I know what you’re going through with a partner who’s scared of falling in love. 

The reason I know is because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.

The only difference is that in this case I was the guy, and falling in love was scaring the hell out of me. 

I started withdrawing so much, that any idea the relationship still had life of it would have been big news to myself and my girlfriend. 

I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out. 

I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach. 

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand why I was so scared of intimacy and how to deal with it. 

This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.

My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve fear of falling in love. 

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again. 

If you’re dealing with a guy who’s scared to fall in love like I was, this can be your perfect resource. 

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.

4) Refusing to open up to you about his feelings

Men are famous for being tight-lipped about how they feel, but this isn’t always the case. 

I tend to talk about my emotions a lot in many cases, especially if I’m romantically interested in someone. 

But one of the top ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is in shutting down emotionally. 

While they may tell you how they want to be with you and go out of their way to show it, they will often rope their emotions into an out of bounds are. 

Any questions about how they’re really feeling are met with vague replies. 

They don’t open up much at all. 

They smile and nod or may look sad sometimes, but they have a whole internal world that they’re not letting you be part of. 

Oftentimes this is because they worry that you’ll leave them if you find out to much about them or sense weakness in them. 

In many cases a person will subconsciously sabotage a relationship and ruin it out of fear of sabotaging a relationship and ruining it. 

Quite meta, right? 

As LovePanky says:

“While this may sound counterintuitive, some people fear being left by other people so much that they choose to be alone so no one can reject them.”

5) Hiding his relationship past from you 

On a related note, another of the ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to hide their relationship past. 

If there’s a lot of drama, loneliness or frustration buried back there in the past, they try to lock it away and keep it there. 

They don’t want you to know, because they’re scared you’ll judge them. 

The love they’re starting to feel has suddenly raised the stakes to unimaginable heights, and they may believe that playing it safe is the only way to go. 

Of course the irony here is that playing it safe and shutting down is often what causes a potential partner to get upset and lose interest or give up. 

But it’s crucial to keep in mind here that a man who’s falling in love and scared about it is in uncharted territory. 

His generally rationally-focused brain is going haywire and he’s finding himself behaving in all sorts of ways he can’t reasonably explain. 

Thus, him shutting down or trying to hide his past from you has to be seen through this lens:

He’s scared and not thinking clearly, thus he’s acting in an instinctual, fear-based response. 

6) Being extremely focused on how he looks around you

Some guys pay more attention to their physical appearance than others. 

But one of the big ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is that they become extremely focused on how they look around you. 

They primp themselves and have an almost paranoid relation to their appearance when they’re around you. 

One stray hair out of place has them blushing or looking all around to find a mirror. 

They want to be sure you see them in the best light and you’ll be able to tell that they put a ton of effort into how they spruced themselves up before seeing you. 

This is one of the signs that they’re scared and falling in love. 

They want to make a great first impression and they want to be sure they don’t have a bad hair day that spooks you out. 

Bottom line:

They’re worried you might not feel the same about them as they feel about you. 

7) A psychic confirms it

Is a guy really falling in love with you or is he just avoidant or playing you in some way?

It can be hard to tell, especially these days with the wide availability of apps and ways to meet someone that guys have on their hands. 

That’s why I recommend a bit of an unorthodox tactic…

You probably won’t expect this, but I recommend you talk to a psychic for insights that go beyond the ordinary. 

The signs above and below in this article will give you a good idea of whether a guy is falling for you but just feeling scared about it. 

Even so, it can be very worthwhile to speak to a gifted person and get guidance from them. 

They can answer all sorts of relationship questions and take away your doubts and worries.

Like, are they really your soulmate? Are you meant to be with them? 

I recently spoke to someone from Psychic Source after going through a rough patch in my relationship. 

After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how kind, compassionate and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to get your own love reading.

In a love reading, a gifted advisor can tell you whether a guy is really falling for you and whether he’s the right one. 

Most importantly they can empower you to make the right decisions when it comes to love.

8) Looking at you a lot but then breaking eye contact when you look back

Eye contact is a big sign that someone is attracted to you, but there’s something special to look out for when it comes to a guy falling in love who’s scared. 

You will tend to catch them staring at you and then they will look away when you see them, often with a deer in the headlights type of expression.

This is basically a hand in the cookie jar situation. 

They were caught staring at you in strong attraction and then called on their bluff.

Then they looked away in shyness

This is again a symptom of this guy being worried you don’t feel the same as him and therefore looking away out of fear that he’ll tip his hand and show you how into you he is. 

9) Shying away from physical intimacy …

Another of the common ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to refrain from physical intimacy. 

They may take forever to go for a kiss if you just started dating and if you’re in a relationship 

I mentioned earlier how the help of a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about whether a guy is right for you. 

When he’s sending mixed messages and displaying a lot of the other signs on here it can be hard to tell exactly why. 


You could analyze the signs until you reach the conclusion you’re looking for, but getting guidance from someone with extra intuition will give you real clarity on the situation.

I know from experience how helpful it can be. When I was going through a similar problem to you, they gave me the guidance I sorely needed. 

Click here to get your own love reading

10) …Or focusing on it too much

On the flip side, you may notice he’s focusing on sexual topics and intimacy too much. 

This may seem paradoxical, but sex can actually be a way to hide from intimacy and revealing feelings, especially for guys. 

After all, by recategorizing your time together as more sexual, he can try to downplay to you (and himself) about how much feelings are involved. 

He’s hoping that just keeping it flesh-focused will lead him away from the dangerous territory of falling in love. 

Of course, this is a pretty silly gamble, and he’s likely to only fall more in love with you the more he sleeps with you. 

However, by trying to do this a guy who’s scared may convince himself he’s “chill” right up until the moment he has to admit he’s already dived headfirst off a cliff and into the deep and uncharted waters of love. 

11) They ask you for a lot of validation and confirmation

Another of the ways guys act when they are falling in love and are scared is to seek out a lot of confirmation. 

They may often ask you what you think could happen in the future between the two of you and try to take your temperature on how you feel about them. 

Do you think things could get serious?

What do you think of them? 

Are they a bit fat? Funny? Good looking?

This desperate need for validation can obviously be a big turn off, which is part of the reason that insecure guys often end up in a cycle of singlehood and feeling frustrated in love. 

The more they seek assurances that they’re not falling in love solo…

The more they end up falling in love solo. 

It’s actually really sad, and I say that speaking from personal experience as a guy who’s done that in the past. 

Too scared to fall? 

Being a bit scared to fall in love is something most of us can relate to. 

The human condition kind of works like this:

You chase a dream for years and then when you get it you look in the mirror and freak out about whether this is something you’re really ready for. 

Have you ever seen the face of a bride on her wedding day? 

It’s sure as hell not calm! 

And I’d bet good money there’s a few drinks of wine and some ativan that went down before the “I do’s…”

Love is intense…

Love is demanding…

And love can be dangerous. 

Love can save us but it can also kill us, making it the ultimate challenge in a certain way. 

That’s why it’s important to be understanding of a guy who’s falling in love but scared. 

This is ultimately something he’s going to have to work through on his own, but from your perspective, you will want to know more about what’s going on. 

I want to recommend getting a special spiritual insight again, because I think this can really give you the extra vantage point you need in situations like this. 

Instead speak to a gifted advisor who will give you the answers you’re searching for. 

I mentioned Psychic Source earlier.

When I got a reading from them, I was surprised at how accurate and genuinely helpful it was. They helped me out when I needed it the most and that’s why I always recommend them to anyone facing issues around love and commitment. 

Click here to get your own professional love reading

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.