Men are often portrayed as inconsiderate, uncaring, and selfish. While some men may be like that in real life too at times, the general perception is unfair.
Most guys care a lot and will feel pretty terrible when you don’t want them in your life anymore.
But let’s take a closer look at how guys feel when you cut them off:
1) He doesn’t understand why
It’s not easy to cut someone out of your life.
But if you don’t want to be with someone, and they don’t treat you well, sometimes it’s necessary.
Still, many people don’t know why their partner wants to break up with them.
They don’t understand where they went wrong in the relationship.
If you cut off a guy but don’t explain it to him, he’ll likely not get it.
He might think that there was something he did wrong, but he just can’t for the life of him figure out what it is.
So if you don’t tell him, he’ll probably assume that you’re mad at him and will be confused.
He might believe that he could have done something different.
He’ll wonder if he could have changed your mind.
Men are generally very prideful. If you break off the relationship but don’t explain why he might assume that there was something wrong with him.
He might start questioning his self-worth and wonder if you have broken a few of his stereotypes.
Now: if he doesn’t understand why you are breaking off contact, it can also go the other way and he assumes it had nothing to do with him.
He might think that you are the one who did something wrong.
So you need to be clear about why you are breaking up with him.
If it’s for a not very personality-based reason, like that you simply aren’t attracted to him, you might want to soften the blow.
Don’t completely destroy his ego.
Tell him that you’re not feeling the chemistry anymore, but explain why.
It might help to say that you just aren’t attracted to him in the way you used to be.
That he’s been a great friend, but that your feelings have changed since then.
Tell him what it is about him that no longer works for you, and how he can change to make it better.
And if his behavior is the reason you cut things off, I would recommend that you tell him that, too.
You don’t need to be rude about it, just factual.
You see, even if it may not look that way by his reaction at the moment, getting feedback like that is the only way he has a chance of actually making a change.
So even if he does have a problem with it, he’s got to hear that from you.
And if you are the one who is doing something wrong, he needs to know that as well.
He should know why you are breaking up.
Because there’s a good chance that he’s going to be hurt by your behavior, and it might take him some time to get over it.
So I would suggest that you tell him both of your reasons for breaking things off, and how they can improve their relationship in the future.
2) He feels insecure
Men generally feel that they should be able to please their partner.
They expect that they should be able to give you what you need and that you should be happy with them.
If you break up with them, he’ll start thinking that he must not be good enough for you.
He’ll start questioning his own self-worth.
He’ll wonder if he didn’t do something right.
You see, he might even think that you were bored or that you got tired of him. He might feel the need to try harder to deserve you.
The truth is, he’ll want to prove himself. He’ll want to make you see that he was wrong to leave. He’ll want you to see that he wasn’t the bad guy.
Now: simply put, a guy who you cut off will feel insecure.
This man doesn’t know why it happened and he feels like he’s just not good enough for you.
While in some cases he might actually be right, in most cases he’s just hurting himself by feeling this way.
But he doesn’t know that.
And if you don’t tell him why you ended things, he’ll feel like he failed.
He’ll wonder if there’s something wrong with him, and that will make him feel even worse about himself.
So I would recommend that you tell him the truth about your reasons for breaking up with him.
Explain to him what it is about his behavior that has changed and how he can change so it will be better for the two of you to stay together (or for a future relationship to work).
The thing is, if a guy is insecure, he will not show it a lot of the time, instead, he will do his best to hide it.
He’ll be very good at looking like he’s not insecure.
He’ll be very good at hiding his feelings and pretending that everything is fine when really it isn’t.
But trust me, even if he acts like a Macho and as if none of that actually bother him, he will feel a little insecure.
What would a relationship coach say?
While this article will shed light on the main things a guy feels when you cut him off, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like breakups.
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3) You hurt his ego
Men tend to have very big egos.
They think that they should be able to do everything right.
They think that they shouldn’t make any errors.
The sad thing is that some guys generally don’t care about their mistakes.
They don’t think that they did anything wrong. But when you break up with them, it’ll hurt their ego.
Most guys don’t want to think that they were the ones who made a mistake.
They will think that they were the perfect guy for you.
They’ll think that they did everything right.
You see, when you cut him off and he realizes that he must have done something wrong, that’ll bruise his ego.
Perhaps he had never got broken up with before and he doesn’t know what to expect.
Or maybe, in the past, he was the one who broke up with the girl, and now, it’s his turn to feel bad.
Whatever the case may be, if you break up with him this time, it’ll likely hurt his ego.
Even if you are trying to be nice and not hurt his feelings, you can’t really prevent him from being hurt by your decision.
So, I would recommend that you be honest with him and tell him what it is that you’re upset about.
Tell him that you care about him and don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Tell him what exactly is it that bothers you about his behavior or the way he treats you so that he can change it and make things better in the future, even if it’s not with you.
When a guy breaks up with a girl, he usually has a few reasons for doing so.
He might have thought that you were too intense.
He might have thought that you were a little too controlling.
These are all things that he thinks are wrong about you.
But when you break up with him, he’ll feel that you did it because he was the wrong guy for you.
He’ll think that you’re criticizing his way of life.
He’ll be convinced that you don’t like his personality.
When he’s the one being broken up with, he will get defensive.
4) He doesn’t care
Another reaction that is fairly common among guys is that they don’t care.
They don’t care if you break up with them or not.
They are too used to having girls around them.
To them, it doesn’t matter if they get broken up with or not because they never really had any serious relationships before anyway.
And if he’s too used to having girls around him, then he won’t take the breakup seriously and will just move on to someone else.
This also happens when he doesn’t have lots of girls, but simply didn’t care a lot about the relationship with you.
Maybe that was one of your reasons for cutting him off?
Unfortunately, there’s a bunch of guys like that, but if he cared about you in any way, then cutting him off will definitely not go by unnoticed, trust me.
5) He’s annoyed
When a guy is in a relationship, he wants to be able to talk to you about anything.
He wants to be able to share his problems with you and feel that you have his back.
But when you break up with him and he doesn’t understand why, he can’t do that anymore.
He has to hide his pain from you. He has to bury his emotions because he doesn’t want to hurt you with them.
As you cut him off, he’ll become annoyed.
He’ll be annoyed that he can’t express his pain with you. He’ll be annoyed that he can’t pour his heart out to you.
This guy will probably be annoyed that he has to pretend to be happy when he’s really sad.
He’ll be annoyed that you’re ignoring his existence.
Most importantly, he’ll be annoyed that you don’t care that he’s hurting and that you’re not being considerate.
However, some guys will also simply be annoyed because they feel like they wasted their time.
They feel like they’ve been used by you and now that they’re not in a relationship with you anymore, they don’t have anything to do.
He might wonder why he put effort into the relationship in the first place and will wish he hadn’t done so.
6) He wonders if there is someone else
When you break up with a guy, he’ll wonder if there is someone else in your life.
He’ll want to know if you’re dating someone new.
He’ll wonder if you’re in love with someone else.
He might even want to know how to get back at that person.
You see, he might feel like he has to compete with someone else for your attention.
If he knows that you are with someone else, that will really get him thinking.
He’ll wonder if you’re with another guy because he didn’t give you enough attention.
He’ll wonder if you’re with another guy because you couldn’t get enough of him.
But not just that, he’ll wonder if you’re with another guy because you found someone better than him.
If this guy really liked you, then the thought of you with someone else will drive him crazy.
He will be extremely sad and wonder what he did wrong and how he could possibly make things better.
He’ll be so upset that he might even try to win you back.
You see, when you break things off with a guy, his first thought will be that there is someone else, simply because he might not want to realize that he was nothing special to you.
He’ll be so upset that he will blame you for finding someone new (even when you didn’t), just so he doesn’t have to face the fact that he was nothing special to you.
7) He loses his trust in you
When you break up with a guy, he’ll probably wonder if it was his fault.
He’ll wonder if he did something wrong and if you broke up with him because of it.
If you don’t tell him what his mistakes were and why they mattered, he might lose his trust in you.
He might believe that you’re a dishonest person who doesn’t care about being fair to others.
He might believe that you’re not the person he thought you were.
This guy might lose confidence in your authenticity because he doesn’t know how you truly feel about him.
He might lose trust in your ability to make the right decisions. He might think that you might have broken up with him because you were selfish.
Now: the problem with that is when you suddenly cut a guy off, he might not just lose trust in you, he might lose trust in all women.
Maybe you know the situation, when you get hurt by a guy, for a time, you might be wary of all men because you think that all men are the same, and that you need to be very careful.
When you break up with a guy, he might think that you’re not just hurting him, but that all women are like that.
He might lose trust in women as a whole.
He might think that if he can’t trust women to not hurt him when he’s vulnerable, then maybe he shouldn’t be with them at all.
This is why it is really important for guys to understand how they make girls feel and why they get broken up with.
But frankly, it’s also not really your job to make sure he isn’t traumatized by the breakup.
Is there still a chance of reconciliation?
I know what you’re going through with cutting a guy off because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.
I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.
I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.
I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand how to overcome issues with my partner.
This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.
My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve the issues we were facing.
My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.
Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.
8) He wants to get you back
Okay, this one is a classic.
When you break up with a guy, he might not just be upset with you, but he might really want to get back together with you.
He might think that if you were really broken up about the breakup, then maybe he should take a chance to try to win you back.
He’ll be so upset that he will probably try to win you back even though it’s a bad idea.
It’s just because he feels so hurt by the breakup that he will try to get your attention in any way possible.
If the only way for him to get your attention is by trying to make a move on you (even if it doesn’t work), then that tells us something important about how broken up a guy is over being dumped by someone.
Now: many guys see breakups as challenges to win the girl back over as opposed to an actual end to the relationship.
If you don’t want to be with him anymore, you will have to make that very clear, otherwise, he will keep trying to get you back.
9) He Might Act Out
When you cut a guy off, one of the worst things that can happen is that he will get upset and act out.
He might try to get back at you in a bad way.
He might try to get revenge on you by making your life miserable.
This is because he is so hurt that he doesn’t care about you or himself anymore.
Now: thankfully, only a few guys are like this, and most guys have their feelings under control and will not lash out.
If you suspect, however, that he might act out, then definitely make sure to stay safe and maybe end the relationship in a public place.
Guys who act out can be scary, and if you are alone with a guy who is acting out, then he might try to do something really bad.
He might threaten you with some serious stuff if you don’t give him another chance.
He might threaten to hurt himself or to cause harm to your property or the property of someone else close to you (like your family).
These threats can be very dangerous because they’re usually not just empty threats.
He will usually follow through on them if given the chance.
In that case, definitely be careful and be sure to protect yourself.
10) He is ready to move on
Last but not least, if you cut a guy off, he might be ready to move on from you.
This is because he’s not interested in you anymore.
You see, some guys have the attention span of a child and they don’t know what to do with their feelings after a breakup.
If you cut them off, they might try to get your attention, but then when you don’t give it to them, they will move on.
Now: this is usually not a good thing because it means that he probably isn’t mature enough to handle the breakup.
If he doesn’t get over his feelings for you and move on with his life, then he will probably just be miserable and unhappy.
However, many guys handle their feelings simply by moving on and finding someone else.
It’s not ideal, but it’s how they go through life!
You are doing the right thing
Even if it might not always feel like it, if you are over someone, you are doing the right thing by cutting them off.
You see, there is no use in dragging a relationship on longer than what it needs to be, simply because it doesn’t feel good.
You might be hurting yourself more than you are hurting the person, and that is something you shouldn’t do.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Cutting someone off is a big decision, and it can feel pretty awful to do it.
But if you make sure that your decision is based on the fact that you aren’t happy anymore, then you will be fine.
Remember: You are not alone in this!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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