When you get into a relationship, it’s all smiles, rainbows and daylight – at least at first. Eventually, the longer the relationship continues, storms start to enter. And it’s normal. It’s normal for any couple to go on a bumpy road from time to time. It’s normal to fight and get a little jealous. But is it normal to cheat?
NO. As much as people try to make it seem normal, it’s not. Cheating isn’t part of a relationship. It’s not a problem every couple has to face. So what do you do if it happens to you? What do you do if you get cheated on? Do you forgive them?
Honestly, there’s no right answer. You can choose not to and move on. But should you choose to stay, you have to ask, “How can you forgive someone for cheating?”
If you’re someone struggling in the same situation and currently looking for an answer, you’re in luck! In this article, we will discuss different ways how you can forgive someone for cheating.
1) Give yourself enough time and space
Getting cheated on is not a joke. Aside from the fact that it breaks your heart (not literally, of course), it damages your mental health and ruins your self-esteem.
This is why the best thing to do after finding out that hurtful truth is to give yourself enough time and space.
When you get cheated on, you either feel tons of overwhelming emotions – sadness, disgust and anger, or you get numb.
You hurt too much to the point that you can’t even feel a thing. And it could be dangerous. Sometimes we humans have the tendency to make a decision based on emotions, and getting cheated on stirs up a lot of negative emotions.
So take your time. Give yourself some space to feel things and really think about the situation.
2) Understand what led to that “moment”
Once you’ve given yourself enough time and space, try to think of it. Like, really think of it. Ask yourself, what could have possibly led to that moment?
No one deserves to be cheated on — that’s a matter of fact. Yet, frequently, individuals choose to cheat because they feel neglected or unhappy in their relationship.
Now I’m not saying that’s enough reason to cheat. There is no acceptable reason for such a thing. However, that does not make change the fact that it’s the harsh truth.
Keep in mind that understanding what led to the moment is not meant to put the blame on yourself nor meant to justify the infidelity.
Instead, this step will help you move beyond the hurt and have a more rational understanding of how the relationship steered in such a wrongful and chaotic direction.
3) Talk to a relationship coach
While this article will shed light on how you can forgive someone for cheating, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like infidelity and trust issues. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) Open up to your partner about it
And then, after talking to a relationship coach and understanding possible reasons why it led to it – as in, the different factors and both of your emotional states – maybe try to bridge the gap.
Having to face your partner after finding out they cheated on you is hard. As a matter of fact, it’s torture.
However, if you really want to forgive your partner, you have to talk about it. You can’t just assume why they did it.
You have to really address the issue for you to be able to work things out should you choose to stay in the relationship.
5) Communicate with your support group
So let’s say you were able to talk to your partner about it. Now you have these overwhelming feelings and emotions. What do you do? You should branch out to your support group.
No human being is completely isolated from their social environment. As individuals, we need someone with whom we can confide our vulnerabilities and personal issues, all without being judged.
So, as you go through the downfall of your relationship, precisely, being cheated on, always remember that you are not on your own, kid. There are people close to your heart willing to lend you an ear and help you in your healing process in the best way they can.
In my case, when I first experienced being cheated on, it was as if I had the world to carry on my shoulder for a long time. I tried to keep all the burden, only to find myself immensely crying on my sister’s lap after a week of keeping it all a secret. Then, the familial support continued.
My mom and dad took turns watching over me and hearing my burdens, even if I initially felt shy. My family supported me in my first-ever journey of heartbreak, and I felt the weight of the world slowly lifted upon me as I listened to their perspectives on life and relationship. Still, of course, I also had to help myself.
Being cheated on was a feeling that I would never want to experience again, yet it was also that moment that I knew I had the best support group one could ever have.
6) Remember that forgiveness is a gift for you and not them
Now, let’s say you’ve done everything stated above and still cannot find it in your heart to forgive them. What do you do? I’ll tell you what. Remember.
Remember why forgiveness is important and who you’re really doing it for. Because news flash! It’s not for your partner.
Being cheated on makes an individual feel insecure, weak, and vulnerable all at once. It is the bad dream that wakes you up in the middle of the night, and then you cry yourself to sleep afterward.
You long for the days of finally being able to soundly sleep at night without crying, but it seems as though the hurt never stops.
Forgiveness does not automatically mean forgetting the experience. Forgiving means dispelling the negative emotions and the traumas that being cheated on caused you all while carrying the lessons and the experiences with the hopes of having a better journey ahead.
In the end, forgiveness is a power that only the strongest and wisest person can give, and it is a power so strong that it benefits more of you than it is for them.
Being cheated on sucks – there’s just no way to sugarcoat it. It makes an individual feel insecure, weak, and vulnerable all at once.
It is the bad dream that wakes you up in the middle of the night, and then you cry yourself to sleep afterward. You long for the days of finally being able to soundly sleep at night without crying, but it seems as though the hurt never stops.
It is hard to forgive someone who has hurt you so hard that you feel it is impossible to heal from the trauma. The feeling of being cheated on sucks, aches, and is as crazy as possible. Rinse, repeat, and the feeling is still the same.
Months may pass, but the idea of having to trust someone again becomes harder and harder because you feel that every person will only betray you.
You listen to your old favorite heartbreak song *play Olivia Rodrigo’s Traitor* or watch the ultimate heartbreak movie to let all the hurting get out of your system.
But there’s an end to it, you just have to trust the process
So, if you’re someone struggling in this area and are finding it hard to heal and forgive, remember that IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. Things like this take time, and you shouldn’t feel bad for not being able to offer forgiveness straight away.
People deal with things differently and you should deal with it in the way that you see fit – but do not be toxic in the process of it.
Stop checking the person your partner cheated with, and, more importantly, do not constantly stalk your partner’s social media accounts anymore.
You already know your partner cheated on you, so enough rubbing salt in the wound. It will not do you any good if you see another picture of them looking cozy at a party or their sweet exchange of conversations on their social media accounts.
What you need right now is a breather from all the chaos that has happened to you. Take a step back from the mess you are going through, assess the situation, and reflect on how you could improve things, at least for you.
At this point, it is okay if you have not yet seen yourself forgiving your partner for cheating any time soon. It is perfectly normal to take your time.
Do some social media detox, explore your long-lost hobbies, or travel out of town. These are all simple yet helpful things that will allow you to take a break from the mess of it all.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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