Cheating is a cowardly act and there’s no way around it. It sucks, it’s humiliating, and it’s something that no one deserves.
But as they say, everything in life is a learning experience.
Fortunately, being cheated on can also make you stronger – as long as you don’t let it define you.
The following 17 surprising ways being cheated on changes you as a man will help you see the silver lining and get the best out of this unfortunate event.
1) You’ll become less trusting of the women you date/meet
In case you used to think that women were generally good beings and only a few bad apples would do such an awful thing, being cheated on will definitely change your viewpoint.
How is that a good thing?
Ultimately, changing your viewpoint will benefit your relationships. You’ll no longer trust easily and you’ll learn how to assess each relationship as being unique based on its own merits.
Also, being cheated on will change you as a man in a way that will make you more cautious and somewhat pessimistic about love.
However, it will also give you more insight into the female mind and teach you how to avoid falling into a similar trap again.
Fair warning: you may start to see women as the more deceitful gender.
2) Your brain will be more sensitive to social cues
Here’s another surprising way being cheated on changes you as a man:
You’ll start paying more attention to other people’s body language, tone of voice, temperament, and what they say.
Well, since you didn’t see the cheating coming, your brain is now turning into a more sensitive detector of stressors, warning signals, and other social cues that people send out.
This will eventually make you a more empathetic person and a better judge of character.
What’s more, being cheated on will help you understand yourself better and why you’re reacting to other people’s social cues the way you do.
3) You’ll become more cautious when entering a new relationship
The pain of being cheated on will make you a lot more cautious when entering into a new relationship.
It’s true! You’ll become especially wary of the initial stages, where you’re still connecting with the person.
In fact, you won’t be fooled by her hot looks. Instead, you’ll focus more on the emotional bond that’s building between you and her.
You’ll also become more cautious of signs of emotional attachment, which might be apparent to others but aren’t necessarily obvious to you.
This change in your attitude will make you a better judge of character and a more careful boyfriend/husband, too.
It will also make you more attentive to simple things like keeping your promises and expecting her to do the same.
4) A relationship coach can give you real clarity
While the points in this article will help you understand how being cheated on changes you as a man, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like going through changes after being betrayed. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation. They can tell you how to effectively move on and build a better love life for yourself.
5) It teaches you how to spot red flags earlier on
Look, being cheated on is definitely unfortunate. However, this awful experience can teach you a lot of things.
One of them is to spot red flags as early as possible in a relationship.
If you’ve been cheated on, you’ve likely thought through what happened in your relationship leading up to that.
Did you notice a pattern?
If you did, then you most certainly will be able to recognize it in the future. That will stop you from making the same mistakes with another woman.
Although every woman is different, they tend to behave in a similar way when they lie and cheat. So, once you know what to look out for, you’ll be able to dodge the bullet before it hits you.
6) You’ll have to constantly work on your self-esteem
One of the first things you’ll notice when you’ve been cheated on is that your self-esteem takes a big hit.
You might feel like you’re not worthy of love, or even worse, you might feel like you’re the reason that your partner cheated on you.
That’s why you’ll have to constantly work on lifting your self-esteem back up and reminding yourself that you’re worthy of love and that this person cheated on you for their own reasons and not because of anything you did.
Your self-esteem won’t go back to normal overnight, but it will get better.
7) You won’t take relationships for granted anymore
Want to know another surprising way being cheated on changes you as a man? It will teach you to appreciate each and every relationship you have with a woman.
You’ll stop taking relationships for granted because you’ll be more careful with your partners.
It can be easy to fall in love and get too dependent on a person.
But this experience will show you that you need to evaluate each relationship on its individual merits and not take it for granted.
People have different reasons for the way they act and react, so you shouldn’t take their behavior for granted, either.
For example, you’ll learn to appreciate the little things like when your partner helps around the house, or when she cleans up after you.
8) You’ll have to work on your confidence
Being cheated on can be a truly humiliating experience.
You might feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough.
You might even begin to feel like this is all your fault and that you made some horrible mistake – maybe you weren’t good in bed? Maybe you were an awful boyfriend?
Whatever the reason, having your self-esteem crushed will make you doubt yourself and question your decisions.
Regaining your confidence is not an easy thing to do. It will take time, but it’s well worth it in the end.
I learned this from relationship expert Kate Spring.
As she taught me, confidence sparks something deep inside women that sets off instant attraction.
If you want to boost your confidence around women, check out Kate’s excellent free video here.
Watching Kate’s videos has been a game-changer for me. Because I know exactly how it feels to not get dates… to be searching for “the one”… to be stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working… to be cheated on.
However, with Kate’s help, I’ve been with the sort of high-quality women I never thought possible. The confidence she has given me has helped me succeed in other areas of life too.
9) It changes the way you interact with others
Bad news: being cheated on will impact the way you interact with other people, including friends, coworkers, and family members.
In fact, it’s not uncommon for victims of infidelity to have a sudden change in personality and start acting sometimes quite unlike themselves, especially when they’re reminded about the affair.
This is especially true in the aftermath of a relationship breakup when the pain is most acute.
Here’s what you should expect:
You’ll probably feel uncomfortable around anyone you know or work with who reminds you of the other person. You might even become hostile towards those people if they ask about the break-up or the cheating.
What’s more, you might become more reserved, less talkative, and even less friendly.
It’s a natural response to protect yourself from getting hurt again. And it’s something that might stay with you for the rest of your life.
10) You might develop a paranoid side
Being cheated on has the potential to make you more paranoid than ever before.
Paranoia is a natural response to being betrayed. And in the wake of an affair, you’re going to be plagued with anxiety and worry.
You might feel that people are talking about you behind your back. You might even think that someone is out to get you or is trying to control you.
All of these feelings will come from your paranoia and a real fear that someone is going to hurt you again.
But you’ll need to learn to cope and understand that they’re just feelings, not actionable facts.
Until you do so, however, expect paranoia to be part of your life, or at least your romantic life.
11) It will give you the courage to move on
Here’s another surprising effect being cheated on can have on you:
It will give you the courage to move on.
This applies to all your future relationships, as well.
Let me explain:
After going through such a traumatic experience as being cheated on, you’ll be less likely to accept bad behavior from your future girlfriends.
If things don’t go well, you’ll have the courage to walk away.
This might sound bad at first. However, it’s actually a good thing because you’ll be more selective in terms of who you date, which will lead you to healthier relationships.
You see, people tend to stay in relationships even if they’re not happy. And that sometimes leads to cheating. So, not tolerating bad behavior will help you steer clear of that kind of situation.
If you learn to look past your unfortunate experiences and move on, you might be able to find happiness in a new relationship.
12) It changes your perspective on love
Want the brutal truth?
Being cheated on changes your perspective on love.
You’ll likely stop believing in fairy tales and happy endings.
You’ll stop being the idealistic person you once were.
You’ll probably think that love isn’t real and that it’s just something people make up in their heads.
However, don’t let this experience change your entire perspective on love.
You may have been cheated on, but that doesn’t mean that everyone is out to get you. It doesn’t mean that love doesn’t exist. It just means that you didn’t meet the right one.
The right one will be honest, loyal, and faithful. She’ll be someone you can trust.
When you’re in a relationship with such a woman, you’ll be a much happier man. You’ll see that love is worth it, and that there are many people who really do care about each other.
You won’t have to worry about being betrayed again because you’ll have the real thing.
So, remember this:
It’s never too late to learn to love again.
You can get there when you’re ready, and it’s completely up to you how you go about it.
If you can accept all this, you’re much more likely to attract the right type of woman for you.
This goes back to what I mentioned earlier – understanding women isn’t tough; it just takes someone who knows to show you the way.
And that person is relationship expert Kate Spring.
In this free video, you’ll learn exactly how to attract the woman of your dreams with Kate’s effective techniques.
Whether it’s working on your confidence or learning some of the best-kept secrets about women, you’ll gain a few insights that’ll certainly improve your love life after being cheated on.
13) You’ll get better at establishing boundaries
Boundaries are really important in any relationship.
Each of us has our own set of personal boundaries, but most people don’t have them clearly spelled out.
That’s why many couples end up arguing and disagreeing on the same issues over and over again.
Having a healthy relationship means setting up clear boundaries so the two of you always know what the other is willing to do and what he/she won’t tolerate.
This experience can help you get better at establishing boundaries.
In addition, it can help you get better at communicating your needs and limits because you’ll know what you’re willing to compromise on and what crosses your boundaries.
And that will help your next relationship grow in a more positive way.
14) You might become a vengeful man
Of course, the paranoia of being cheated on has the potential to turn you into a vengeful man.
You might decide that if someone can’t be faithful to you, then you won’t be faithful to them either. Although this extreme reaction is not often recommended, it’s something that occasionally happens.
Want to know more?
It’s possible that you will try to get revenge in your future relationships and for the smallest of infractions.
The hurt, anger, and pain from being previously cheated on can blind you to the reality that your conduct is not acceptable.
You’ll be more likely to react with anger and retaliation in order to feel justified in your actions.
So, instead of dealing with those issues in a healthy manner, you will try to punish her for her actions in order to get even.
For example, if she forgets to text you one night, you make a really big deal out of it and either ignore her for what she did or find another way to punish her.
This is not a healthy way to deal with problems.
However, this could be one of the ways being cheated on changes you as a man.
In case you notice this behavior in yourself, do your best to understand yourself better. If you learn that your actions are a result of your past trauma, there are ways to correct them.
15) You’ll have to get your mojo back
Your mojo is the term for your attitude, energy, and enthusiasm. It’s all the things you used to have before the person who cheated on you took them away.
To get it back, you’ll have to have faith in yourself again. You’ll need to learn to trust again. You’ll have to think positively. You’ll have to heal your wounds.
If you want to move past this experience and get your mojo back, then you must be willing to do all of these things.
So, don’t expect it to happen overnight or even in a few weeks. It might take months or even years for that to happen.
Statistically speaking, it takes between one and a half years and two years for a man to get his mojo back.
But don’t be discouraged. It means you’ll get there one day. And it’s all worth it when you do.
In other words, you’ll feel a lot less attractive or charming as a result of being cheated on.
16) You’ll learn to have patience with yourself
Being cheated on can really shake up your ego. It can also make you feel like you’re not good enough.
Can you relate?
If this is the case, then you might find yourself engaging in behaviors that aren’t in line with your values.
To combat this, you might have to become more patient with yourself.
How? You’ll learn to let the dust settle, forgive yourself for any mistakes you might make, and give yourself room to grow and improve.
Being cheated on doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Sure, it sucks, but it also makes you appreciate all the good things in your life, and it makes you work towards becoming a better person.
17) It will make you a stronger person
Your girlfriend cheated on you. She betrayed your trust and hurt your feelings. She put you down and left you there.
So, how can something positive come out of this experience?
The truth is that by being cheated on…
… You can become a stronger person.
… You learn to appreciate the good things in life.
… You learn to love yourself again.
… You learn to become more compassionate towards others.
… You learn to see the world differently and stop idealizing it in your head.
… You also gain strength from your experiences, positive or negative.
With every defeat, you learn to push through and persevere through anything that comes at you – you learn how to pick yourself up and get back on your feet.
Ultimately, this kind of experience makes you stronger instead of breaking you down even more.
Does the pain of being cheated on ever go away?
As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, it does.
It may take several months or even years for that to happen, but when you get through this experience, you will come out stronger than before.
Sure, you won’t be the same man anymore, but that’s not a bad thing.
Statistically speaking, you’ll be a better man because of what you experienced.
We’re human. We experience things.
Let’s be honest:
Nothing is perfect in this world. Not even you. And not even the people you love the most.
When pain and suffering hits, it’s a part of life that we must overcome. It’s a test that we must learn from, grow from, and see how strong of a person we are when faced with adversity.
It makes us stronger because it helps us make smarter decisions in life than before.
Being cheated on changes you as a man – What now?
There are many ways being cheated on changes you as a man.
Admittedly, this isn’t fun to go through, but it does help you grow as a person and become a stronger man as a result. It’s not easy, but you can get through it.
Remember, there’s no limit to what you can achieve when you’re willing to improve yourself and learn from your mistakes. You just have to be willing to do what it takes.
This all relates back to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.
I mentioned her earlier; she’s transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.
One of the most valuable things she taught me was this:
Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.
Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.
What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women – and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.