He tells me to leave every time we argue: 11 reasons why

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

When your relationship is new and exciting and challenging, it’s normal for arguments to happen from time to time. 

It doesn’t mean that you guys don’t love each other anymore; in fact, fighting can be a good sign because it shows that you two are invested in the relationship. 

However, if arguing with your boyfriend often ends up with him telling you to leave his house at the end of the argument, things might need to be addressed sooner rather than later. 

Here are 11 reasons why he tells you to leave every time you have an argument.

1) He’s trying to cover up his own insecurities

Here’s the truth:

Men tend to get uncomfortable every time they feel insecure about themselves.

You see, this insecurity is often triggered by something you’re doing or that someone else is doing to them. 

These insecurities can make a man feel threatened and so he might resort to telling you to leave as a way to protect himself from having to deal with these uncomfortable feelings.

What to do:

Figure out why exactly he feels this way and if it’s something you can change. If it’s not, you need to decide if this is something you can live with. 

If so, try your best not to let what he says get under your skin, and don’t bring up the past during arguments because this will just fuel his anger.  

However, if it’s not something that you can live with… then maybe it’s time for both of you guys to part ways peacefully before things escalate out of control and result in damage worse than what has already been done in the past. 

2) You’re having different definitions of what a relationship is supposed to be

Every relationship has its own unique characteristics that are not the same for all couples.

While some couples have a very laid-back approach to their relationships, other guys prefer being super serious about every aspect of it. 

If you’re the girl who prefers a laid-back approach and your boyfriend is more the serious type, then you two are bound to clash at some point because of this difference in philosophies. 

Whenever he tells you to leave every time you’re having an argument, he’s not doing it because he wants to push you away or hurt you, rather it’s just a way to keep things from getting out of control.

What to do:

The best thing you can do here is to talk about your philosophies regarding your relationship and see if you can both come to an agreement. 

Here are some tips to help you make the best out of your conversation.

  • Be prepared. Be sure to have all the important issues written in a list.
  • State your point of view clearly and remember to be calm, patient, and respectful with your words.
  • Argue against what he says, not against who he is. 
  • Don’t take the things he says personally because the chances are high that he isn’t trying to offend you on purpose. 

3) He actually likes the drama and chaos that comes with fighting

I know some of you reading this might be thinking that this is a totally absurd thing to think or say, but let me tell you from experience: there are men out there who get an adrenaline rush from arguing.

But hear me out for a second. Most of the time, these guys get turned on by the drama and chaos that comes with fighting. It’s as if they just need to blow off some steam after a long day at work or school by getting into some trouble. 

Unfortunately, this kind of behavior doesn’t wane off easily because it gets ingrained into their system as a result of years of repeating the same kind of behavior over and over again.

But here’s the good news:

There are experts in relationship psychology who have developed a method to help guys from engaging in such behavior.

This method has helped thousands of guys get rid of their old habits and start a new chapter in their lives, which is full of peace, understanding, compassion, and most importantly: love.

If you truly want to understand why your boyfriend fights with you, then I urge you to reach experts from Relationship Hero

They are highly trained in psychology and have helped countless men get out of such bad relationships.

So if you are interested in learning some of the other reasons why your boyfriend fights with you, then I highly recommend that you reach out to them by clicking here.

4) He might have commitment phobia

Commitment phobia is the inability of a guy to stick around for the long haul.

Despite this being a pretty common problem, there are no specific signs or symptoms that will tell you for sure if your boyfriend has a commitment phobia.

However, this doesn’t mean that you should just ignore the fact that your boyfriend keeps breaking promises, or has trouble showing up on time.

Instead, pay attention to your instincts to better understand if he might have a fear of commitment.  

If you start to feel worried or uneasy whenever he makes plans in advance with you, then it might be best to reach out to experts from Relationship Hero who can help talk to him through his issues and guide him back on the right path. 

So here’s the key to overcoming a fear of commitment:

You have to open up the lines of communication and start to discuss your insecurities.

I know it can be very uncomfortable (for both of you) but remember:

The more you talk about your worries and anxieties, the easier it gets for both of you to understand where each other is coming from.

This is exactly why talking is one of the core principles that relationship coaches use whenever they try to help a couple overcome their differences. 

Just make sure that you don’t get into an argument with him (or vice versa) because this will only lead to the same problems that initially caused him to act out.

Instead, reach out for help from experts who have all kinds of methods at their disposal to talk, listen, empathize and help you guys communicate better as a team.

5) He’s too proud to apologize

Another reason why he tells you to leave every time you argue is that he can’t let go of his pride.

In other words, whenever he says “leave me alone” or “go away”, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to apologize for whatever reason.

A lot of times guys think that everything is about winning, so if they say sorry first then they feel like they are losing control over the situation. 

It’s a very common attitude amongst most men and I don’t blame them for this, I’ve been there myself on more than one occasion.

But wait, there’s more!

Gradually, this behavior can affect your relationship in a very negative way.

Because, if you always let him off the hook when he makes a mistake, or is too proud to apologize when it’s obvious that he was wrong, then he will never learn how to grow as an adult and take responsibility for his actions. 

Whether this is something that you are willing to live with is up to you, but I personally wouldn’t want my man to be like this.

So if this sounds like the problem that you are currently facing in your relationship (or even in your friendship), then you have to step up and be a bigger man than him.

Yes, it takes some serious courage (and sometimes even a little bit of faith too) but you can and should make an effort to change the way he thinks.

Don’t take him for granted anymore and show him that your love is not unconditional.

6) He has anger management issues

I bet you didn’t see this one coming, did you?

Believe it or not – some guys have very serious anger issues, which boil down to the fact that they don’t know how to handle their own emotions.

When you provoke him in any way (so he thinks), he will either explode, become overly aggressive and intimidating or flat out ignore your existence for a while.

This usually happens when you are too close to an issue and you choose the wrong words when dealing with it.

Learn to understand what sets him off (and vice versa) so that misunderstandings like these can be avoided at all costs. 

Talking about problems is not a sign of weakness as long as your intentions are good and your partner can see that. 

But every time he loses his temper, he also loses respect for himself, his partner, and his relationship too. The latter of which is a very slippery slope to be on.

7) He feels emotionally abused by you

Sometimes the reason why he behaves in that way can be you.

It could be that he feels emotionally abused because he doesn’t feel respected by the person closest to him, or it could be that he is simply feeling a bit used.

In order to successfully cope with this type of argument, you should never tell your partner that they are “too emotional”, “have too many problems”, or even try to justify yourself by saying something like “Well, I didn’t mean it this way”. 

But here’s the kicker:

Maybe the spiritual reason why your boyfriend is saying “leave me alone” is because deep down he doesn’t feel like you are the right partner for him.

In this case, the psychic advisor can definitely help you with this type of issue because he will have a lot of insight into the spiritual reasons why your boyfriend is acting this way.

Your psychic advisor can help you solve any relationship problems in a way that makes you feel much more confident and secure in your relationship.

Issues like not trusting each other, not feeling appreciated and the fear of commitment can all be solved in a spiritual way.

There is a lot of psychic energy between two people and that energy can control feelings of love or hate. Psychic energy also controls many feelings like being insecure or having trust issues.

But how to find a worthy psychic advisor for your problem?

A trustworthy psychic advisor will always be able to help you with any relationship problems. Unfortunately, the psychic industry is full of charlatans and scammers, so let me suggest you some websites that you can trust and rely on.

I myself use a psychic reading service called Psychic Source and I can guarantee that they are the real deal.

They have some of the best psychics and mediums in the world. They are quick and really affordable. I prefer them over all other psychic websites.

Click here to try it out.

They are incredibly knowledgeable about relationships and can tell you how to reach your romantic destiny right away.

8) He’s no longer interested in the relationship

Sounds pretty dramatic, doesn’t it?

But believe me, this is really and truly – the number one reason why he always tells you to leave every time you have a fight. 

The truth is, he’s not interested in the relationship anymore and you’re just not his type.

Sometimes this may sound really harsh, but the best way to respond to this is with a simple “I know”.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t care about him at all – it means that you are going to let him go and move on with your life. 

Sometimes men don’t want to be in relationships because they feel as if they can’t fully trust their partners.

9) You bring out the worst in each other

As I’ve mentioned above, sometimes you can be a really big factor in why your boyfriend behaves this way.

Maybe you are just bringing out the worst in him and there’s nothing that he can do about it. 

Think about this for a moment:

Have you ever heard the expression “bad apples”? 

Well, the same thing could actually be said about you because you are the one who is always making your boyfriend act in a way that is completely out of his control.

If he’s not with his true self, then how can he really know what to do?

For this reason, it is vital that you stop doing things to him that are so anti-social.

10) There’s something else going on that you don’t know about

Let’s face it:

Something is going on that you don’t know about and you’re probably afraid to find out about it.

While it’s true that you shouldn’t be afraid to find out what’s going on in your partner’s life, sometimes it may be best for both of you if he doesn’t tell you about it.

It could be that your partner is dealing with depression or any other type of mental illness (which is completely understandable) and if he tells you about it, then this will most likely make things harder for both of you.

If this is the case, then he should seek professional help because mental illness can affect people differently – not all people are affected in the same way by depression or anxiety. 

But more often than not, there is something else going on in his life that makes him feel as if there’s no hope for the future. 

So here’s the deal:

You can’t force him to tell you what’s going on, but if he does tell you and you feel as if it’s not something he should be dealing with on his own, then this means that you need to step in and help him.

He needs your support and love more than ever right now.

11) He still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend

The last reason your boyfriend says “leave me alone” could be something completely different.

It may be that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend and that he is unable to move on for various reasons.

Just because a relationship doesn’t last forever, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he can’t move on from the love of his life and get a new girlfriend. 

It could be that he’s just afraid to get close to another girl or maybe he’s not sure if he can even trust a new girl.

Any guy who has been through the pain of a breakup will most likely be reluctant to think about love again because it hurts. It takes a long time for a guy to heal after breaking up with his lover and move on.

You can be a big factor in why he’s saying “leave me alone” because you are constantly bringing up the fact that you don’t want to be with him anymore.

If he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend and has these thoughts about moving on, then he probably isn’t ready to settle down yet and should just continue hanging out with his friends first. 

Final thoughts

Hopefully, you can now understand why he’s saying “Leave me alone” more and more often.

If you find that you’re both at a crossroads in your relationship, then it’s time to reflect on what your goals are regarding the future of your relationship.

If you love him but want to let him go for various reasons, then stop doing things that make him feel as if he’s not appreciated.

The best thing you can do is try to understand why he’s saying “leave me alone” and determine what the underlying cause may be.

You can’t change a person overnight, but you should at least try to better yourself in order to know how to deal with your boyfriend’s behavior in a more positive way.

I’ve mentioned Psychic Source above and they have been helping people get their love life back on track for years.

If you’re still in pain and don’t know what to do, then make sure that you give Psychic Source a try – I’m sure you won’t be disappointed!

Click here to try it out.

Good luck with everything and thank you for taking the time to go through this article.

Don’t forget to comment below!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.