He says he needs space but still texts and you’re wondering how to handle it?
If your partner has been distant for a while but still contacts you, it can be complicated to understand why and figure out know how to respond.
But if this sounds like the situation you’re in, don’t worry – here are 15 tips on how to get through it:
1) Find out if he misses you
Did you know that if he says he needs space but still texts it could be because he didn’t correctly assess the situation in the first place?
Let me explain:
At first, maybe he thought that he indeed needed space from you. But then, when you were suddenly not around anymore, he realized what he was missing out on.
And this is why he keeps texting you now: he misses you.
How can you tell for sure?
Well, ask yourself this: What are the texts about? Is he asking you about your day? Or is he just using you to vent?
If he’s interested in you, then clearly he misses you. However, if he’s only using you for venting, he’s not actually that interested in you.
Instead, he enjoys the fact that you listen and probably give good advice.
Based on your answers, you can decide whether to keep replying to his texts or not.
2) Make sure he’s not testing you
Look, if he says he needs space but still texts, he could be testing you.
Well, sometimes, men will say they need space in order to see if others are willing to give it to them.
However, his texts could be an indicator that he’s not actually serious. It could mean that he just doesn’t want you to chase him.
And that’s OK. Because if you’re someone who likes a challenge, then maybe it’s a good idea for him to see how long you’ll stick around before losing interest.
But, if you’re not a fan of this kind of competition, then we recommend you call it quits.
Just to be sure, you could simply ask him if it’s because he wants to test you if he says he needs space.
Why does this work?
It works because he won’t expect you to ask him this. You’ll take him by surprise.
And, if he’s testing you, then he’ll have to come clean about it.
Once you know for sure whether this is the case or not, you’ll be able to decide what to do next.
3) Ask whether he’s exploring his options
Everyone needs to take stock of their situation from time to time.
For some, it’s because they want to see if they really want you in their life. You know, see how it feels to be without you for a bit.
But for others, this may be the result of insecurity or boredom. It’s all part of growing up…
This is why the toughest thing is to get that guy to tell you what he’s thinking.
But you can do it by simply asking him this question:
“Are you exploring your options? If so, what are they?” He’ll have to tell you, after all. How else will you be sure?
But how can you tell if he’s telling the truth? This is where knowing how he usually replies to your texts will work wonders.
If he’s usually the guy who replies quickly and with enthusiasm, then he’s probably not exploring his options.
4) Get tailor-made advice for your situation
While this article will shed light on the main things you can do if he says he needs space but still texts, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like when one partner needs space from the other. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
5) Figure out if he’s playing mind games
Here’s another tip for you: if he acts strangely, saying he needs space and then texting you, he could be playing mind games.
How can you tell?
Well, when someone plays mind games, they’re making sure that you won’t immediately know what they want. It’s basically a manipulation technique.
Mind games are typically used by people who want to see if they can manipulate you into doing what they want.
And this is why it’s important to figure out the reason why he’s doing this: Is it because he feels insecure about your relationship? Or is there a deeper issue at play.
Maybe he thinks that you’re going to leave him eventually, so he’s testing your loyalty?
Whatever the case may be, you need to properly assess his actions before coming to any conclusion.
6) Make sure he isn’t questioning your relationship
If he wants space, but then starts texting you again, he could be questioning your relationship.
Numerous psychologists agree that if you’re questioning your relationship, you start seeing the potential faults in it.
This is why you may want space from your partner before figuring things out. But then, once you figure things out and everything is OK, the need for space disappears.
And this is why many men will say they need space if they’re questioning their relationship. They simply want to see if they can fix it on their own.
So, what should you do?
In case he is questioning your relationship, don’t stop replying to his texts. Show him that your relationship is strong.
And then, see if he opens up to you about what’s going on in his mind. He’ll have no choice but to open up, after all.
7) Figure out if it’s the “need for space” or just plain old laziness
If he says he needs space but still texts all the time, maybe he just doesn’t want to do anything that involves work.
How can you tell?
Well, most people who need space want it because they need a way to relax.
If your partner is saying “I need space,” he could just avoid putting in the hard work. It’s all about perspective, right? And this is why it’s important to pay attention to the details.
So, if you’re trying to figure out what really happens with him, look at what triggered this sudden change of heart.
Maybe you had too many expectations for him. Maybe you were too clingy. Or maybe you were just too demanding.
Whatever the case may be, paying attention to all the details will help you figure out what really happens with him.
And then, act accordingly.
8) Trigger his hero instinct
Sometimes, when a man needs space from his partner, it means that his hero instinct hasn’t been triggered.
Let me explain:
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship, not a man who wants space.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
9) Find out if he’s going through a rough patch
Have you considered the fact that he might not need space from you, but time to figure out things in his life?
Sometimes, people get so caught up in their daily lives that they forget about their relationships.
This is why some men will pull away from their partners to give themselves some time to figure things out.
However, don’t get this confused with needing space because they don’t want to be in a relationship.
In case he’s going through a rough patch, pay careful attention to his texts. Is something bothering him?
This will help you figure out what to do next.
By being supportive, you may be able to help him through whatever he’s going through.
10) Ask whether he’s spending time with his friends
Would you like to stop being confused about him and his behavior?
Maybe he said he needs space because he wants to spend more time with his friends. He still wants to talk to you through texts, though because he doesn’t want to lose touch with you.
However, he might want to dedicate his time to his friends due to various reasons. This is why you can ask him whether he’s spending more time with his friends.
If that’s the case, then you have to accept it and let him be. Instead, you can still talk to him regularly through texts.
But what if this is not the reason why he needs space? And what if he doesn’t want to say why?
Well, in that case, there’s not much you can do but wait. Then, when he eventually decides to talk to you again, ask him why he pulled away from you in the first place.
11) Consider he might use you to feed his ego
Listen, maybe he’s made up his mind about you. But, you may still be useful to him in other ways.
You see, just because he keeps texting you, this isn’t necessarily a good sign.
Well, some people use others to feed their egos. If he’s still talking to you, then it means that what you have to say still matters.
Maybe you’re really good at feeding his ego, and that’s why he keeps talking to you.
In this case, you might want to think about your role in this. Do you want to keep going?
You see, if he’s using your good nature as a way to feel good about himself, then it’s time for you to stop feeding that flame.
By doing this, you will figure out what kind of person he really is.
12) Try to understand why he’s doing this
Here’s another tip for you: don’t ignore your gut instincts when it comes to him.
Well, they’re there to protect you. They’re basically there so that you can get out of a situation as soon as possible.
So, if your gut instinct is telling you that something is off with the way he acts, pay attention to it.
And then, think about why he’s doing this. Is it because of you? Or is it because of something else? If he’s pulling away from you, there’s a reason behind this.
If you can figure out why then that may help explain why he suddenly pulls away from you. This might help you fix the issues, so to speak.
So, pay attention to your gut instinct and all the details surrounding this situation. And then, try to analyze them carefully.
13) Check whether his priorities have changed
Here’s another explanation for why he might need space but is still communicating with you through texts:
His priorities have changed. Maybe you were once his number 1, but now you’re not.
This is why he keeps texting you. He still cares about you, but other things are getting in the way of him focusing on you.
Maybe he’s been working hard at his job lately, and he desperately wants a promotion.
In this case, it would be best for you to let him do what he needs to do. He might be close to getting his promotion anyway.
But, before you do that, try your best to find out what his other priorities are.
14) Establish boundaries with him
The fact that he keeps texting you although he said he needs space might cause you distress. You might feel like he’s playing with your feelings.
So, if you feel like he’s doing this to you, don’t fall for it.
This means that you should stop letting him play with your feelings. Instead, establish boundaries with him. Let him know that what he’s doing is not okay.
Tell him how he makes you feel and that you’d prefer if he didn’t text you randomly anymore.
You see, in setting boundaries with him, you’ll be able to protect yourself from emotional and mental distress.
In case you don’t set boundaries with him, he might keep trying to mess with your emotions.
15) Be supportive and don’t jump to conclusions
Before we go on, did it cross your mind that he’s as confused as you are?
Maybe he truly felt like he needed space when he told you that, but then he panicked and immediately felt the need to text you.
While this is no excuse, it is a way to understand why he’s doing this.
In case you want to talk to him about it, men usually appreciate a supportive partner. This is why you should avoid being too emotional and start looking at things more rationally.
You see, if he’s pulling away from you, then try your best to support him instead of making a big deal out of it.
By doing this, you’ll be able to establish a good relationship with him again. Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly.
Or, you could do something completely different: just stop replying to his texts.
Let’s say that he doesn’t want to open up to you because he feels awkward about whatever’s happening.
Maybe he pulled away from you because he’s trying to get his head straight. Maybe he pulled away in order to avoid hurting you.
Whatever the reason is if you feel he’s only texting you when he needs support and if he doesn’t ask anything about you, then you should probably stop replying to his texts.
By doing so, you’ll make him understand that you can’t be his emotional support while he needs space. And then, he’ll understand that you’re not emotionally dependent on him.
How do you give someone space without losing them?
Giving him space may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. You see, if you let him go, you might never get him back again.
Well, even though this might be true, let’s take a moment to analyze the situation. Here’s what you can do:
1) Try to understand him
Let’s say that he still wants to keep in touch with you but he needs space. How can you help him?
Well, the best way for doing this is by understanding why he needs space and why he feels the need to be far away from you.
So, if you’re confused about his actions, try to figure out what’s going on in his head.
Maybe he has a lot of problems. Or maybe there are some other things getting in the way of him being with you.
2) Don’t give him the cold shoulder
Sometimes, people will shut down their emotions when they’re feeling upset. Doing this is a way for avoiding emotional trauma.
But, what a lot of people don’t know is that shutting down emotions can also cause physical harm.
So, if you want to help him get his head straight, then don’t give him the cold shoulder!
You need to make him feel comfortable around you. The best way for doing this is by keeping in touch and being supportive.
3) Let him initiate conversations with you
Here’s another way to give him space without losing him: Let him initiate conversations with you.
If you feel that he needs space, don’t start a conversation. Let him come to you.
By doing so, you’ll not come off as desperate or needy. And this is what you need to do if you want to help him take care of his problems.
4) Don’t make him feel guilty
If he still needs space, then don’t make him feel guilty about it. This is another reason why he might not want to come back to you.
So, avoid making him feel guilty about this. Instead, help him find his own answers.
How? Well, you know that by understanding why he needs space, you can help him get his head straight.
5) Be honest with him
Here’s another way to give him space without losing him: be honest with him.
Don’t act like everything’s fine if you feel that it’s not. Being honest with him will help build trust and respect between the two of you.
In case he still needs space, this is one of the best ways to encourage him to come back to you.
When a man says he needs space but still texts you, it can mean a lot of things.
If you’re in this situation, figuring out why he needs space can help you understand him better. Especially if he keeps texting you, his reason might not even be about you.
He might need your support or he might miss you a lot.
Either way, understanding his reasons can help you get him back and avoid losing him in the future.
Learning to give someone space is a good thing.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.