Recently I was in a really difficult situation. I was falling in love with a guy, and I got all the right messages – he seemed to reciprocate my feelings.
However, even though he kept telling me how much he missed me, he never actually made plans – it was so frustrating!
If he missed me that much, wouldn’t he just do anything in his power to set something up for us to meet?
Thankfully, I stumbled upon some tips that helped me out a bit, and I managed to really see more clearly in my situation.
I’m sharing those tips here because I know how much it sucks to be confused about someone’s intentions, and I want you to be happy, too!
1) Don’t hang out with him when he’s making you feel bad
Sometimes we hang out with people who bring out the worst in us because we’re hoping with our time together, they’ll stop.
They won’t. Start to recognize when you’re being triggered by his behavior, and then, by all means, don’t hang out with him when he’s making you feel bad.
This is a great way to get clarity on where you stand with him, and it will help you to feel better, too.
You see, if you notice that texting him while he’s not making any effort to actually see you is starting to wear you down, then you can take action right away to stop the behavior before it gets out of hand.
You can’t let someone do this to you, and you shouldn’t let him. If he’s not going to make any effort, then don’t respond with an effortless message yourself – it’s just a waste of your time.
Trust me, I know how difficult this can be – I liked the guy in my life so much, so it really hurt when he wasn’t trying to make any plans with me.
But at some point, I realized that I don’t want to be with someone who makes me doubt myself and my feelings, so I had to take action.
The thing is, when he realizes that you are pulling away because you know you deserve better, he will either step his game up, or he will show his true face (and you will have dodged a bullet).
2) See if there are any red flags you can see
Sometimes we ignore the red flags in our relationships because we’re hoping they’ll just go away, or we’re so excited about the person, we don’t want to see the truth.
I’m speaking from experience here – I used to be Ms. Blind-to-red-flags when it came to relationships.
When a relationship is just starting out, there’s not much there to see through.
You get to see, instead, how the person reacts to you.
If they don’t respect your boundaries or they’re not respectful in general, or they don’t seem like they’re invested in you or the relationship, you’ll see it soon enough.
Don’t ignore the red flags; they’re there for a reason.
If you see some, ask yourself if you think they’ll go away with time. If they don’t, it’s a sign that this relationship probably won’t work out for you.
The thing is, if you think back to relationships that have failed in the past, you will most probably know that the reasons you broke up in the end, those big red flags, they were already there when you first started dating, you just chose to ignore them because you were in love.
Don’t make the same mistake.
If he is not making a move and trying to see you, his actions speak louder than his words – he is most definitely not that into you.
A guy who likes you will not leave you doubting his intentions, believe me!
3) Try to bring out his inner hero
If you are certain that this guy is the one you want to be with, there is one trick that I have up my sleeve.
It sounds really silly, and I didn’t believe it at first, either, until I tried it in my situation, and all of a sudden, this guy did everything in his power to be with me!
Are you curious, yet?
I learned this new theory a friend told me about – it’s called the hero instinct.
To be honest with you, I thought this was just another one of those no-use things, but my friend told me that after watching a simple video, I’d be convinced.
If you ask me, that’s a pretty big claim to make, so I watched this video by James Bauer.
The craziest thing happened: as soon as I started applying this concept, the guy I was falling in love with started reciprocating my efforts and started to make plans for us to hang out!
Honestly, I wouldn’t tell you this if it didn’t convince me – something about this Hero Instinct just seems to work – it changes men in some way!
4) Help yourself feel good, so you don’t need him to feel good
This is such a cool trick.
When you see each other, be sure to make yourself feel good before you meet him. But this also goes throughout your days, even if you don’t see him.
This way, you’ll be able to see if he has potential or not without feeling any pressure.
If he’s the right person, you’ll connect with him, regardless of whether you’re feeling great or not.
Better yet, when you help yourself feel good, you’ll be able to see more clearly, and you’ll also be able to communicate what you feel to him better (if you decide he’s worth pursuing a relationship with).
This is also a great way to protect yourself from any creeper vibes he might have. At the same time, it will also help you with your self-esteem.
Why is this important?
Well, a lot of us have a tendency to fall in love with someone just because they make us feel really good about ourselves, not because of who they are as a person.
The result? We get into relationships with people who we are not really compatible with, simply because we don’t like being alone.
What if I tell you that there is an easy solution to all of this?
If you can make yourself feel good and know that you are okay with or without a guy, you will be able to see his intentions a lot clearer!
5) Dive into your own self-care rituals
Sometimes when we’re falling for someone, we forget to take care of ourselves.
We’re so busy focusing on them that we completely forget about taking care of ourselves.
By diving into your own self-care rituals, you’ll be able to recognize when someone isn’t good for you.
You’ll be able to recognize when someone’s feelings are true, or you’ll be able to see if they’re just as confused as you are.
You’ll be able to see if something about the relationship is just off, or you’ll be able to see if it’s just you.
When you’re caring for yourself, you’ll be able to recognize when someone is treating you poorly, and you’ll also be able to recognize when someone is treating you well.
You’ll be able to see if they’re going after you because they like you or if they’re going after you because they want to use you.
Trust me, taking care of yourself can really be the answer to your problems here.
When I started taking care of myself, my standards finally got to where they needed to be.
I realized that I am worthy of love and respect, and I stopped accepting disrespectful behavior.
This also made me immediately understand what this guy’s intentions were with me!
6) Keep meeting new people
This is such a cliché tip, but it’s super helpful.
When you meet new people, you’ll be able to see if the person you’re currently interested in is actually right for you.
You’ll be able to see how you feel when you meet other people.
You’ll be able to see if your feelings are real or if you’re just being overwhelmed by the person you currently like.
If hyper-fixating like me, you tend to hyper-fixate on one person at a time, putting them on a pedestal.
When you meet new people, you’ll be able to see if your feelings are real or if they’re just being overwhelmed by the person you currently like.
This will help you see if the person is actually right for you, or if you’re just infatuated with them.
You’ll be able to see if your feelings are mutual or if you’re the only one feeling something.
Meeting new people will help you to get a better read on the situation.
Plus, if he doesn’t step up and actually start making plans, you will have other options and won’t rely on him to be happy.
7) He has been very clear about his intentions
There’s no need for you to get super stressed out about this. It took me a long time to understand this, myself, but guys are very clear about their intentions.
And if you feel like they are confusing? Well, then that is a clear answer for you, too.
If he does like you, then he will make time for you.
He will make sure you spend time with each other.
If he’s busy and doesn’t have time for you, then he might not be interested in you.
Trust me, if he’s interested in you, but he’s just really busy, he’ll let you know. He will do anything in his power to prove to you that his intentions are pure and that he really just has unfortunate things going on in his life.
If you’re interested in him and you’re just waiting for him to make the move, you’ll be waiting forever.
While your situation may feel frustrating, the truth is, he’s probably already shown you what he is thinking.
You can’t read someone else’s mind, so if you want to know where you stand with him, you’ll have to watch his actions.
From the fact that you started reading this article, he has most probably already shown you that he is not as interested in you.
It’s better to move on to someone whose actions match their words.
Now: I know you might feel some resistance, and a part of you will want to try one last time to convince this man to put in the effort.
In this case, I wanted to mention something I already told you about earlier in this article: The Hero Instinct.
I know, it sounds way too good to be true, but I swear it worked wonders for me!
This free video by James Bauer will tell you everything you need to know to get your guy to commit fully.
If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will!
8) Check in with a few trusted friends
If your feelings are real, then your feelings are real, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
You don’t need to feel like you’re overreacting or that your feelings are silly.
At the same time, you don’t need to be super critical of yourself, either.
Have a few trusted friends who you know won’t judge you and listen to your situation.
Have them give you an outside perspective.
They’ll be able to tell you if your feelings are real or if you’re just being overly critical of yourself.
They’ll be able to tell you if he’s being weird or if he’s just shy.
They might even know him, so they can give you some insight into his behavior.
When I talked to my friends about my problem, they immediately were able to find the right words to comfort me, while simultaneously giving me advice on how to move forward from this tricky situation.
Trust me, your friends will offer great support.
9) Ask him what’s going on
Sometimes the guy just isn’t sure what to do.
Or, he might not be able to make plans with you because of his current situation.
Whatever the reason is, you’ll never know unless you ask him.
You don’t want to be the type of person who just waits around for someone else to make a move.
You also don’t want to be the type of person who just sits around waiting for things to happen.
Be proactive, and ask him what’s going on. If he doesn’t know what’s going on, then you can start to take steps to make something happen.
You see, the right guy will not be scared off by you asking him why he is never planning for you two to meet up.
The right guy will see that as his sign to finally step up his game.
And if he doesn’t?
Then he wasn’t the right guy and didn’t have the right intentions, to begin with!
Trust me with this, you will not scare away someone who is serious about you!
Once I understood this, I realized that the answer to my problem was as simple as asking him about it!
10) Check in with your intuition
Sure, he might have all the right intentions, but there are tons of people who have all the right intentions, but they’re still not good for you.
Your intuition is your innate guidance system.
It’s what lets you know when something’s off, and it’s also what lets you know when something is right.
If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t force yourself to go along with it just because you think the person has good intentions.
Shut your eyes for a moment, and allow yourself to really check in with your intuition.
What does it say? If you listen, your intuition will lead you to the right person for you, and it will help you stay away from the wrong people, too.
It took me a long time to really get in tune with my intuition.
The way we grow up, we don’t really learn to listen to it anymore, so I really had to teach myself to listen to it.
It took me years to learn that if I’m not sure about something, I should just ask.
I used to be so afraid of being wrong that I always tried to make myself believe what other people wanted me to believe instead.
But now, I have a much clearer understanding of my own intuition, and I use it more often than ever before.
If you want to understand your own intuition a bit better, I would suggest starting by getting quiet more often, and really listening to what you have to say.
I can guarantee you, that your intuition already knows whether this guy actually likes you, or if it’s just a lot of empty promises.
What did I do? And what should you do?
When a guy says he misses you, but he doesn’t make plans, it can be super confusing, and it can leave you wondering what’s going on.
Don’t forget that you have lots of options when it comes to dating.
You don’t have to wait around for him to make a move, and you can meet lots of other people, too.
Whether he’s shy or he actually misses you but doesn’t know what to do, you can help him out a bit by asking him what’s going on.
With that information, you can then make a decision about what you want to do next.
You see, for me, it was all an inside job – I had to realize that I was worth putting in the effort and that I deserved someone who treats me right.
And if you want him to finally treat you the way you deserve? I found a solution for that.
I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.
Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when the guy I was falling in love with suddenly seemed like a completely changed man.
Are you curious to find out if it works for you, too?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.