“Why does he say he loves me but flirts with others?”
It’s a question that’s been on the minds of many women.
This can be a difficult and confusing situation to understand, especially as relationships become more intense and deceptive.
So here are 14 helpful tips for you if this is your experience.
1) Watch what he does, not what he says
It’s easy to be blinded by words, but the actions of a man are what tell you what he’s really thinking.
Any man that loves you would never flirt with another woman in public and he would be extremely uncomfortable to do so.
If he’s doing this it means that he’s uncomfortable being in a relationship or he’s trying to impress others.
The latter is a trait of a narcissist, who will always want to be the center of attention.
2) Don’t take what he says at face value
If you find yourself questioning his love, or he is trying to reassure you that he loves you, but doesn’t want to be alone, don’t listen to him.
He’s just trying to manipulate your emotions.
True love doesn’t need words in order to show itself.
And you know what?
The truth is men are only saying what they think you want to hear, so keep this in mind.
They usually don’t have your best interests at heart and that’s why he wants to reassure you.
Many times a man will say the right things to comfort you because they feel they are doing wrong by you.
3) Avoid sneaky investigations
When you’re beginning to think that your man is playing you, it’s easy to get paranoid and start snooping around in his stuff.
This can work against you.
Believe us, it isn’t worth it!
Not all men are straight-up and some of them will be very crafty at hiding what they’ve done.
When you finally find something, it can fuel the fire that he is doing something inappropriate and this could lead to more drama or even a full-on break up.
Don’t go down this road, it will only make things worse.
4) Don’t cheat on him in retaliation
If your man is doing something that makes you question his love or intentions, it’s easy to get angry and want to retaliate in some way, even if it’s not warranted.
Don’t let the anger take over, think this through first and make sure that the thing that bothers you is worth it.
You should try the more intelligent way to solve your problem.
5) Golden rule: No one will ever change for you
Yes, it’s true!
No one will ever change who they really are based on the demands of you.
If he’s acting this way now, it’s because that is how he sees things.
As much as you might feel that your man is doing something wrong, it’s human nature to try and change someone who isn’t willing.
It can be tempting to try and make him behave, but there’s no point in doing so.
There’s always a reason why he is putting up the walls he has and the only real way to find out what those are is to have a discussion with him.
6) Only use communication to get information
I know when you’re hurt or upset it’s hard to keep from getting angry and you might naturally want to start an argument just to get it out of your system.
But don’t do this, because a big reason why he is caught up in his own emotions is that he feels vulnerable.
This may backfire, as men often don’t respond well to this type of behavior.
Don’t threaten or badger your man, try talking about your feelings instead.
If he’s doing something that makes you uncomfortable, ask him about it instead of accusing him.
Digging for information is always better than trying to manipulate your relationship.
7) Don’t tell your friends, family what’s going on
When you’re in a relationship, you naturally want to tell your friends all about it.
But if you’re involved with a man who’s not all he’s cracked up to be, don’t tell anyone until you’ve figured out what’s going on.
We’re sorry to say this, but…
It will only make things worse by gossiping with people who likely won’t understand and may try to influence you into making a decision before you’re ready or making the relationship work even if it’s not right for you.
8) Consider the worst-case scenario
You may be considering ending things with your man when he does something that makes you question his love, but sometimes knowing what will happen can help in making better decisions.
If you fear that he will end up cheating on you, you might make a decision to allow him back into your life even after making some demands.
But when it’s something like this, it’s best not to take the risk and just break up instead.
You can never be 100% sure that nothing bad is going to happen, so always keep this in mind when trying to make decisions for the future of your relationship.
9) Never let love blind your judgment
If your man is doing something that makes you question his love and loyalty, it can be easy to get emotional and start over-analyzing things.
Which is fine, but don’t let your emotions color your judgment.
You won’t be able to make a clear decision if you’re only seeing half the story because of how you feel.
If you are with a man who isn’t treating you well (or rather is being less than honest), then it’s time to take action on your own and make a change.
But don’t put yourself in harm’s way by continuing to stay with him, especially if he has ever hurt you or threatened you in any way.
10) Be honest with yourself
If your man knows that you’re aware of what he’s doing, but doesn’t make any changes, it may be time to reconsider being in the relationship.
When a man truly loves you, he will always try to please you.
If he doesn’t at least attempt to make some changes when you bring something up, it could mean that he either doesn’t care about pleasing you or he is too caught up in his own needs.
Either way it’s not a good sign for your relationship.
This does not mean that the relationship is over with your man though.
11) Don’t be afraid to lose him
It’s very easy to get caught up in the idea that he’s the perfect guy for you and that losing him could be devastating.
But if you really love your man, you shouldn’t feel like you need him at every turn or that he’s the only person in your life.
These feelings come from a place of fear, lack of self-esteem, and even guilt & shame.
12) Stop worrying about him and focus on yourself
Yes, it’s true!
You can be happy without him.
You deserve more from life than what this person is giving you.
You are the only one who can fix the issue in your relationship and take care of yourself.
13) Don’t let yourself get too comfortable
This can be a good rule of thumb for anyone in any relationship, but especially so for those with men who flirt with others.
What do we mean?
You might feel like he’s the only person that you can trust and the only one that really understands you, but this is a big mistake.
Each time you give him more power over your life, he will take it and use it against you.
Make sure to keep nurturing your own life as an individual, because even if your relationship were to end tomorrow, you will be better off.
14) People change
It’s easy to get upset when you feel like your man is doing something wrong, but try to keep in mind that he is changing and growing.
The same way you have changed over time, so has he.
If it feels like he is getting further away from you or doing things that threaten your relationship, try to be flexible enough to accept the changes that are coming.
If your relationship has been positive up to this point and you’re willing to work on it then do so.
However, if it feels like it’s time to move on then do so as well.
Be honest with yourself – and with him
There may be nothing worse than having doubts about whether or not your man is loyal and faithful.
But if you want to keep your relationship together, here are some tips to help you figure out how to make it work:
- Start by reviewing the list of warning signs and signs that he might be cheating on you.
- Then, think about what you could do to change your relationship to make it better.
- Remember that there is nothing preventing him from being honest with you and sticking around to prove himself.
- If you truly love someone, they will stay (even if they don’t realize it) and try their best to fix the situation.
- If he does cheat, it will ultimately destroy your relationship.
- You need to take action and take care of yourself before you try to fix the relationship.
I want you to know that if your man is really the best person he can be for you, then he will do anything in his power to save his relationship with you.
Unfortunately most men who are getting serious with a woman aren’t honest about who they are.
And no matter what, certain things can’t be changed.
Many people have warned me about a man like this, but I was too stupid to listen.
I want you to not make the same mistakes that I did, and I want you to be the happiest girl on earth.
I want you to avoid being a fool like me, because it will only hurt in the end.
Now that you know more about what to do when he says he loves you but flirts with others, you should feel confident enough to take action.
But, if you’re still unsure, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.
When I was uncertain about whether my boyfriend truly loved me, I reached out to Relationship Hero. They were able to provide me with the insights I needed and gave me a lot of valuable advice.
They were able to tell me why I felt like something was off in my relationship and how to handle it. They were also able to show me how to get him to open up about his feelings, and he became much more sensitive and loving toward me.
I was really satisfied with the results I got from the coaching. So, if you’re wondering what’s next, I highly recommend them.
They can tell you many things about your man that you might not be aware of yet. And, most importantly, they can empower you to take the right actions to make sure everything works out the way it should.