19 reasons why he doesn’t initiate contact but always responds

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Are you dealing with a guy who doesn’t initiate contact but always responds?

That kind of behavior is not only annoying, but it can also be extremely confusing!

But don’t worry, I’ll shed some light on the situation and tell you the reasons why this is happening!

1) He’s playing games with you

You’re not gonna like this, but the first reason could be that he’s just playing games with you.

It could be that he’s testing the waters, or maybe he’s not sure about his feelings for you.

But some guys are simply players and will have a lot of girls at a time, while never getting into a relationship.

How can you spot a player?

If he’s always texting you and you’re the only one initiating contact, or if he’s being really flirty but never wants to meet up with you, then chances are that he’s just playing games.

But some players also meet up with you – after all, they want to seal the deal.

In general, you will know someone is just playing games if they always say sweet things, but their actions don’t match their words.

When a guy is not in his integrity and also makes no attempt to commit to you fully or give you reassurance in any way, then he’s most likely just playing games.

2) He doesn’t want to scare you off

This might sound a little weird, but the second reason why he doesn’t initiate contact but always responds is that he wants to see how far things will go between you two.

You see, some guys are really insecure, even if they don’t look like it at first sight.

In those cases, a guy might actually refrain from contacting you first because he’s afraid of scaring you off.

He wants to make sure that you’re interested in him too, so he’ll just wait for you to contact him first.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that he’s not into you – it could also be that he’s really into you and is afraid of scaring you off by contacting you before you initiate contact with him.

Don’t worry though – if a guy is really into you and wants to get to know you better, then he will make the first step.

If someone doesn’t contact me first but always responds when I initiate contact, then chances are that he doesn’t feel secure enough to make the first move.

Now: you can give him some reassurance, but make sure that at some point, he will get over it and finally give you the signs that he is into you, too!

3) You’re very intimidating to him

If you’re extremely pretty or intelligent for example, this could scare him a little and make him hesitant of contacting you first.

You see, more guys than you think to get really intimidated by intelligent or beautiful women.

While they claim that they want to find someone exactly like that, some guys are simply too immature to actually be able to handle someone like that.

So if a guy is not contacting you first but always responding, then it could be because he’s intimidated by you.

This doesn’t mean that he’s not into you – after all, some guys are really insecure and just don’t know how to act around girls they really like.

But it does mean that he’s not making a move and he wants to see what happens between the two of you first.

Now: what you want to make of this is 100% your own choice, I think it really depends on what you want.

In my own experience, I like to be with a man who isn’t intimidated by me, simply because I don’t think that’s a good foundation for a relationship.

However, if you are into it or you think it is sweet, by all means, go for it, girl!

4) You don’t bring out his inner hero

Alright, I know, this sounds a bit weird at first but just hear me out.

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.

And it’s something most women have never even heard of.

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

5) He’s scared of rejection

This is something I’m sure all men have gone through at least once in their lives!

They really like a woman, maybe a little too much for their own liking and they are terrified of rejection, so they do everything in their power to avoid this.

This is not something that only immature men do!

I have seen some of the most mature and successful men in the world doing this – I think it’s just one of those things that we all have to go through at one point or another, no matter how old we are or how good our social skills are.

Also, as you’ve probably guessed by now, a guy who does this doesn’t have to be insecure!

He could actually be pretty confident and just very scared of rejection.

So if you’re asking yourself whether or not he’s into you and he’s always responding but never initiating contact first, then ask yourself: could he be scared of rejection?

You see, fear of rejection is a real thing and we’ve all dealt with it at some point or another.

Even if the guy is pretty sure of himself, it could be that he went through something in his life that made him afraid of rejection.

The one thing I would say about this – if you are pretty sure that he is scared of rejection, don’t force the issue!

I mean, if you really like him and you think it’s sweet of him to be so shy, go for it, girl!

But if you’re not sure about this at all and you think he might be too insecure to make a move – don’t push it.

6) He’s not used to initiating contact

Okay, another reason why he is never initiating contact is that he simply isn’t used to it!

This could be because of past relationships where the girl always contacted him first and now it has become a habit for him to wait for her to reach out to him first!

I know, it sounds kind of like a lame excuse, but it is a reason why he might be acting like this!

Now: if this happens to you and you think he might just not be used to initiating contact, talk to him!

Ask him what is going on and see if he will be willing to change his behavior.

You see, asking someone to initiate contact with you from time to time is everything but unreasonable!

After all, it will give you a sense that he likes you, too and that your feelings are by no means one-sided!

Asking for what you want and need in a relationship is never a bad thing!

And you have to remember: no matter how shy or insecure he is, he might just be scared of rejection.

And if that’s the case – don’t push it.

7) His confidence is low

I know, this one sounds kind of obvious, but still, I want to point out that this guy might be a little insecure about himself.

He might be very confident in other parts of his life, but when it comes to women and relationships he might not feel as confident as he’d like.

This could also be because of past relationships where he wasn’t treated very well in the beginning or where the girl didn’t really return his feelings!

Now: when that happens, and his confidence goes down, that might block him from initiating contact with you.

He doesn’t want to be a burden and he doesn’t want to scare you away by being too forward!

But if you think he might be having a hard time, talk to him about it.

Be honest and tell him that you’re worried about him and that you think he might be having a hard time trying to make a move on you.

And if he is – encourage him to try more with you. Tell him you really like him, but that you’d like for him to make more moves.

8) There is someone else involved

Okay, that’s the one you probably didn’t want to read, but maybe there is someone else in the picture who has snatched all his attention away from you!

Yeah, as long as you are not exclusive there is no way of telling whether or not he is talking to other girls.

So, what could have happened is that someone else snatched his attention away and now he only thinks of you when you reach out to him.

I know, this really sucks.

But the thing is: if he has a girlfriend or someone that he likes in his life, and you are not exclusive, then there is nothing you can do about it.

You see, if I found out a guy was talking to someone else while seeing me and can’t decide, I think that would be it for me.

The thing is, you’re not even in a relationship yet and already you are starting to feel like you aren’t good enough? No thank you!

9) He doesn’t want you getting bored with him

Another reason why guys don’t initiate contact but always respond is that they don’t want their crush to get bored with them and lose interest!

I know, this one is pretty sweet, isn’t it?

He likes you so much that he is scared if he texts you a lot, you will lose interest!

In the end, it all boils down to insecurity again.

A guy who is sure of himself won’t have this problem because he isn’t worried you will get bored of him anytime soon.

Now: if he is this insecure about talking with you, what kinds of insecurities will surface in the relationship, when you guys are actually exclusive?

These things are worth noting because they can put a strain on your future relationship.

10) He’s not interested in you

Another reason could be that he’s just not interested in you.

Instead of hurting your feelings, he is trying to let you down easy, but you’re not taking the hint, so he keeps replying to your texts.

I guess this is one of your biggest fears with this whole situation, right?

Well, guess what?

If he really makes zero effort to reach out to you, then maybe you can do yourself a favor and just stop texting him.


Because if he is not interested in you, then why would you want to keep talking with him?

You are just wasting your time.

So, when you are texting him and he doesn’t respond at all, it’s best to simply stop.

Then maybe you will come back to his mind when he’s ready for a relationship.

11) He doesn’t want to commit or get his heart broken

He might also be trying to avoid getting his heart broken, which is why he won’t make the first move.

You see, there is a chance that he noticed that he likes you a LOT, and so he’s suddenly getting scared.

He might have some unresolved issues from the past, and he’s afraid of getting hurt again, so he’s trying to avoid commitment altogether.

When a guy notices that he’s catching feelings for you but he has commitment issues, they will do things like suddenly stopping to initiate contact.

In that case, it really comes down to what you want to do with that info.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to commit to you.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

12)He’s not ready for a relationship

Another reason why guys won’t initiate contact is that they are not ready for a relationship yet.

They might have been single for so long that they are afraid of getting into a bad or rocky relationship.

For example, if he has been single for years and suddenly notices that he likes you, he might be afraid to get hurt again.

So, instead of being upfront and honest with you, he just plays it cool.

He might also be afraid to talk about the future with you because he doesn’t want to get hurt again, so he is trying to avoid commitment.

If this is the case, then it’s best if you figure out where you stand with him.

You need to make sure that he’s not just playing games with you and that he’s actually interested in getting serious with you.

13) He doesn’t know how to approach you

If he doesn’t know how to approach you, then it could be that he has a social phobia and is afraid of rejection.

You see, some guys are afraid of approaching girls, which is why they don’t initiate contact and let you do the work.

In that case, you could ask him outright why he never initiates contact with you.

I mean, he’s clearly interested in you, so why doesn’t he just come out and say that to you?

When you tell him that you like him but that you want him to initiate contact, he will most likely follow through!

14) He doesn’t show his emotions easily

Maybe the guy is afraid of showing his emotions and because of this, he doesn’t initiate contact but always responds when you do.

This is not necessarily a bad thing and it could just be that this guy needs some time to warm up.

If there was something wrong or bothering him, then most likely he wouldn’t be responding at all. So don’t worry!

You see, some guys are open books, while others need time to get to know you before they trust you enough to open up.

Perhaps he really likes you, but he doesn’t want to show you that, yet, so that’s why he just replies and never initiates contact.

15) What would a relationship coach say?

While this article will shed light on the main reasons he isn’t initiating contact, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like communication issues. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

Click here to get started.

16) He thinks you’re too good for him

Now this one might come as a bit of a surprise but hear me out!

Some guys are so caught up in their own heads that they end up thinking they are not good enough for the girl they like!

So instead of putting himself out there and risking being rejected, he just sits back and waits for you to come to him.

The thing is, guys like this often end up sabotaging their own luck because their own behavior is pushing the women away from them that they like!

17) He has no idea what he wants right now

If a guy isn’t sure about his feelings for someone else, or if his life is completely chaotic right now and he has a lot of stress going on in his life at the moment (e.g., because of school or work), then it might be hard for him to initiate contact with someone else too.

When a guy doesn’t know what he wants from life and from relationships in general (or even from YOU!), it can make him simply stop initiating contact and see where things go (aka if you will take the lead).

Now: if that’s your style, there is nothing wrong with that, but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting him to be sure about you.

18)He’s just not that into you – but he wants to be !!!

Sometimes guys who are really into us will start to act shyer around us when they realize they have been acting too cool with us.

They want to keep their options open and make sure there aren’t any misunderstandings. This is something we all have to go through at some point or another!

The reason for this is simple: sometimes we can get so caught up in the moment that we forget what we actually want and how far we may want things to go with certain people.

Sometimes our feelings can get in the way of our common sense and we end up doing things without thinking them through first.

We are very often guilty of making decisions on emotion alone, without really giving things proper thought or consideration first.

Maybe this guy is not super into you, but he wants to be, so he is seeing where things go right now.

19) He doesn’t want to ruin the moment

Now, this one is pretty common and I see it a lot.

You know that moment when you are talking to someone and they just look at you and smile?

You never want this moment in time to stop.

Now, for some guys, when they get to a stage with a girl where everything is just perfect, they feel the same way and they are afraid of ruining that moment, so they simply stop talking to us because they don’t want to ruin the moment.

It’s more common than you think!

Why isn’t he initiating contact?

With all these reasons, do you know now why he isn’t initiating contact?

Whatever it is, the reason is never about you not being good enough, trust me!

More often than not, it is something he has going on with himself.

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

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