As the saying goes, “Happiness is choice!”
You can choose to accept the happiness that comes from your own company, or choose to find it elsewhere.
The world could be crumbling around you and you still might not have a date on Friday night, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living.
Here are 25 empowering thoughts to keep in mind when you’re happy single but lonely.
1) “I’m happy single because I choose to be.”
Your life is a journey that no one other than you is responsible for. You’ve defined the rules of your game and what you choose determines whether you win or lose.
Without anyone’s command, you chose to be single – and it is something that you never should feel lost.
Go at your own pace and find what works for you.
2) “I can enjoy the process of finding love, even if I never find it.”
When you’re happy single but lonely, it’s easy to fixate on the destination at the expense of enjoying the trip. But it’s not only the destination that counts in life.
Understanding how to get there, and knowing that you can – if you choose to – makes all the difference.
For you to find inspiration in this kind of process, watch Justin point out the colorful paradox of being happy single and wanting a partner, here:
3) “I’m not needy.”
Being happy single but lonely can be a taxing journey, especially with the pressures of society and your own expectations to fall in love. And while it may feel like you just can’t escape the sadness, you have many other options.
You are completely ok to reach out and ask for help when you need to – and are not a “neediness” for doing so.
You may not currently have a partner, but you don’t have to go at it alone. Find yourself great friends who will always be there for you when things get tough and to call to when you can’t seem to figure things out.
4) “I will accept failure just as easily as I accept success.”
Fear of failure is a good thing. It can teach you a lot about yourself, what you want to do, and what you don’t.
Failure is not the end of the world if you make it through it. It’s proof that sometimes things go wrong but they can be fixed.
Having failed in a past relationship will teach you to be more discerning about what you want in a partner.
5) “I will do the best I can and let the rest go.”
When you’re happy single but lonely, you are not your past life. You have an opportunity to start over.
There are no regrets in your future, no bad choices to make, and no one else to blame for your mistakes.
You’re not going to be a better person by fighting with yourself about what you want to do or how you want to live. There is only one way for you – and that is the way that makes you happy.
6) “I can be totally relaxed at heart.”
When things get tough, it’s easy to become stressed out about everything that’s going on around us.
The key to feeling totally relaxed is to find the good in everything that comes your way. The world can be a tough place sometimes, but nearly every person you meet has good intentions.
If you know that, it’s easier to accept the good and get over that tough day.
7) “I don’t need anybody to validate my worth.”
There’s a reason why you don’t find fulfillment in relationships – you’re reliant on your partner for happiness and not yourself.
But when you learn to trust yourself and tap into the incredible pool of personal power within you, you’ll find what you’ve been searching for all along.
You see, we all have an amazing amount of potential.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people restore balance to their lives, discover their personal power, and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.
He uses a unique approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with an effective modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can build the life and relationships you’ve always wanted, simply by following a few of his techniques.
So if you’re ready to take the plunge and live the life you know you deserve, check out his genuine advice below.
8) “I’m not alone in my pain.”
You can’t always take care of yourself, but you sure as hell can always depend on your family and friends to be there for you when you need them most.
More than ever before, people experience pain and heartache with their current relationships all the time.
But no matter how bad things are going in your life, you’ll always be able to find a friend or a family who understands what you’re going through. And what’s more, they will help you through it too.
So know that you are loved.
9) “I am never too busy to work on myself.”
Blaming your problems on other people is easier than taking responsibility for your own life.
But it doesn’t get you far in the end.
You are responsible for the person you are and the life that you live.
No one else.
10) “It’s not the best time to fall in love.”
Falling in love could be an amazing experience, but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by imagining that there is a perfect time when such a thing can happen to you.
Don’t let a perfect moment get in the way of your love life. You need to be able to take the good things that come with each day and enjoy them.
Not every day is a date with the Prince Charming or Damsel in Distress.
11) “I won’t force people to love me.”
You aren’t going to force anyone else to love you. You only get what you do for yourself.
If you are single and lonely, you have exactly the same amount of reason and energy as those who have committed themselves fully to someone romantically – and maybe more.
Forcing people to love you will only lead to disappointment – and disappointment leads to self-blame, so you run the risk of feeling like you are a failure.
12) “I can let go.”
Sometimes you just have to let go for the sake of your own sanity. Some things just require it.
If you’re single and lonely, it’s likely that your mind will wander from time to time. You may find yourself stuck in an unwanted thought or memory, or unable to concentrate on any project that you’ve been working on for weeks (or months).
Let go of the past and embrace the future.
Let go of the past and enjoy the present.
13) “I can be alone.”
We’re social creatures and it’s in our nature to want to be around other people. So if things aren’t going the way you want them to be, you may find yourself alone more often than not.
It’s easy to forget that being alone should be enjoyable.
The ability to be alone is something very few are capable of and it’s a great opportunity to reflect on how things are going in your life and whether you are making the right decisions.
Being alone can bring you a lot of joy if you let it, so don’t be too disappointed if you have to spend time alone.
14) “I have what it takes to succeed.”
When people try to figure out why they feel so alone, they sometimes think it’s because there is something wrong with them. But the truth is that we are all successful as individual units.
Success doesn’t always mean being with someone else, nor does it mean having a certain job or career. Tell yourself that you have everything you need right now to be happy and things will start from there to get better.
15) “I can forgive.”
It takes a strong heart to be able to forgive others – but it is something that really is possible.
If there are people in your life whom you know have done terrible things, or have hurt you, it’s important not to hold on to the pain and resentment that they have caused.
Forgiving people means being able to let go of the past and move on.
It also means blocking out the negative emotion that they have caused within you and finding happiness.
You see, we are all living multiple lives at any given time… so when you are constantly weighed down by negativity, you are essentially living two negative lives – the one in the moment, and the one in your mind.
The past is dead… you need to let it go if you want to live life to it’s fullest.
16) “I am enough.”
Do you sometimes feel like you are “less than” those around you?
What if you realized that all of your problems, thoughts and feelings come from within and not because of anyone else?
Everything can be fixed by learning to love yourself.
More importantly, what if you could discover the incredible person that is already there waiting for you to become aware of him or her?
It’s time to lift up your head and shout out: “I am enough!”
17) “I can make my own luck.”
Are you a lucky person or one who waits for fortune to come knocking on your door?
If you are single and lonely, it may be difficult to feel good about yourself – or even to believe that there is someone out there for you. But that could all change if you can work on making your own luck.
If something isn’t happening the way that you want, don’t blame any other person… instead, try making things happen yourself.
After all, when bad things happen to people around us, we often say: “He/She brought it upon themselves.”
So do the same thing with yourself and see what happens.
This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. The relationship with yourself.
18) “Life is not a race.”
Remember that and you’ll be happier in the long run.
Don’t feel like you have to rush into anything. Take your time.
If you are single and lonely, it’s likely that someone “better” will come along when you least expect them to – probably in a much better situation than the one that is already there. So don’t get “caught up” in other people’s personal lives, because this will only make things worse for yourself – no matter how bad they may be now.
You need to figure out what you want – not what others have or have not done yet.
19) “I can make healthy choices.”
People who tell you they are single and lonely often have a habit of wasting their time with bad decisions.
Think what could happen if you had to change your lifestyle habits and make some changes to your life?
You may feel like the only way out of the pain is to be with someone, but the thing is that being around someone does not fix your problems.
20) “I can be happy.”
This may seem like a silly question – but who wants to be alone?
It’s okay if being alone is hard for you. It’s okay to be lonely and sad from time to time.
Don’t let anyone else make you feel this way unless it’s necessary (like when you need someone else to listen to your problems in order for them to go away).
The gift that being single and lonely has given you is the ability to think clearly and see past the pain. If you can’t be with someone, let the idea go and you may find someone who will make you feel special.
21) “I am happy now.”
It’s not about being happy all the time. Being alone is not going to be a permanent situation.
It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes, but don’t stay that way.
Being single is the beginning of a better life where you learn how to be happy with yourself without anyone else in the picture. It will cause you to appreciate the moments when other people are around, and when they’re not, it gives your life more meaning and purpose.
22) “I can be honest.”
When you are single and lonely, it’s important to focus on yourself. This is because the only person who can make you feel good about yourself is yourself.
It’s important that you ask for help when you need it – but if you want to get better at being single and lonely, learning to be completely honest with yourself first will allow this newfound strength to grow.
People who lie to themselves often don’t see what’s right in front of them – including the fact that it’s possible for them to improve their situation and overcome the obstacles that are keeping them from being happy.
Be honest and you will learn how to believe in yourself more.
23) “I can become a good person.”
If you love someone, this means that they have power over your life.
It’s important not to get away from yourself and the life lessons you are learning because someone is there with you. If you do this, it means trouble. When you are single and lonely, it’s important that you don’t get into relationships for the wrong reasons.
You have to know yourself inside and out before you can enter a relationship with someone.
If you do this, your life will change in ways that you may not expect.
24) “I can take care of myself.”
This is what most people call “independence.”
Loneliness can be a scary feeling – but it changes us into better versions of ourselves.
Loneliness does not have to mean that you need to be alone. You can be strong and independent by standing up for yourself, knowing who you are and what you want in life.
People are drawn to people who seem like they know exactly how they feel – even if they don’t as they don’t know how they feel at that moment.
25) “I can support myself.”
There are a lot of people who say that they don’t need anyone to help them – but the truth is that they are making excuses.
There is nothing wrong with needing help, but it’s important that this doesn’t mean that you give up on taking care of yourself.
The truth is that some people may take advantage of this situation by only offering you the help you need in order to keep you around – but if you really want to be happy again, it’s not a good idea to get used to this kind of treatment from others.
Being single and lonely is not easy, but it’s possible for anyone to get past this obstacle.
However, you have to be strong enough to learn from your mistakes and put yourself back together again in order to progress.
You can get through this process alone if you want – but it’s better if you take your life back by learning how to be happy again and start looking at the world from a different perspective.
This is the only way that you can really make a change in your life and become happier than ever before.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
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