15 ways to make sure your first date with your ex after a breakup goes well

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So you’re planning to meet up with your ex for a first date after the big breakup, huh? No pressure, right? 

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

 In this article, I’ll share 15 tips to make sure you’re fully prepared for this special first date with an ex. 

Let’s dive in and see how you can make your date go smoother than a melted ice cream sundae on a hot summer day!

1) Stay positive and open-minded

I’ll begin with something you need to do well before the day of the date, and that’s to approach the date with a positive mindset and an open heart. 

It’s essential to let go of any preconceived notions about how your ex may have changed or what their intentions might be. Embrace the opportunity to get to know them again with a fresh perspective. 

By keeping an open mind, you’ll be more receptive to the possibilities that unfold during the date, whether that’s rekindling the romance or simply establishing a new friendship. 

This is especially important if you’re feeling scared of getting hurt again or dreading the thought of another heartbreak

That said, while it’s important to stay positive, it’s also wise to do the next thing…

2) Keep your expectations in check

It’s natural to have some expectations going into a date with an ex, but it’s important not to get too caught up in the idea of a specific outcome. 

You might be having starry-eyed visions of a new future together. Thoughts that this time it’ll work and you’ll finally get married, share a big house, have four babies (two of each kind), and all that. 

I get it – it’s completely natural to have intense feelings and crazy-making thoughts running through your head at the idea of giving an ex a second chance

But instead of hoping for a romantic reunion right away, try to see the date as an opportunity to reconnect and learn more about each other. 

So let the chips fall where they may. By releasing the pressure of specific expectations, you’ll be more able to enjoy the date for what it is – a chance to catch up and maybe even forge a new connection.

3) Keep it casual

Now let’s get to the date itself. When it comes to dressing for this date, remember that less is more. 

Instead of going all-out in a suit or dress, opt for something that’s comfortable and reflects your personality. Think jeans and a nice top, or khakis and a crisp button-down. 

Not only will this help put you at ease, but it also sends a message that you’re not trying to impress or manipulate your ex with your appearance. 

Plus, feeling good in your own skin will give you that extra confidence boost you need when reconnecting with someone from your past.

4) Location, location, location!

Picking the right spot for your date is crucial. You want a place that’s neutral, comfortable, and free of any emotional baggage.

If you used to frequent a specific restaurant or café together, it’s best to avoid it for this meetup. You don’t want painful memories to rear their ugly head on this fresh, new start! 

Choose a new, low-key spot that neither of you has any connection to. This can help create a fresh atmosphere and minimize the chances of running into people you both know. 

Some great options include a local park, a casual eatery, or even a unique activity like mini-golf or an art class. 

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s a place where you can talk and reconnect without too much external pressure.

5) Be punctual

First impressions still matter, even if you’re meeting up with someone you already know. 

Arriving on time (or even a few minutes early) shows your ex that you’re committed to making the most of this date and that you respect their time. 

Plus, it helps set a positive tone for the rest of the encounter. If you’re running late, make sure to communicate this with a quick text or call to let your ex know you’re on your way. 

Remember, punctuality is a sign of respect and maturity – something that can go a long way in rekindling any type of relationship.

6) Keep it light and breezy

This first date with your ex isn’t the time to rehash old arguments or dig deep into the reasons behind your breakup. (I’ll get into this more later.)

On this special day, focus on keeping the conversation light and fun. Talk about your recent experiences, any new hobbies or interests you’ve picked up, or even the latest movies or TV shows you’ve enjoyed.

This will help create a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere and allow both of you to see how you’ve grown since the breakup

If the conversation starts to veer into serious territory, try to gently steer it back to lighter topics – you can always revisit the heavy stuff later on if you both feel it’s necessary.

7) Use humor 

How to keep it light and breezy? You can’t go wrong with a bit of humor!

There’s a reason laughter is often cited as the best medicine – it can help break down barriers, relieve tension, and create a sense of camaraderie. 

Don’t be afraid to use light-hearted humor during your date to keep things enjoyable and relaxed. Share a funny story, laugh at your own awkwardness, or even poke gentle fun at the situation itself. 

Just make sure to keep the humor appropriate and avoid making jokes at your ex’s expense. Laughter can be a powerful bonding tool, so use it wisely and enjoy the shared moments of joy.

8) Give them your full attention

Another thing I’d like to point out is the importance of attention. 

One of the key aspects of any successful date is active listening. This means giving your ex your undivided attention, asking open-ended questions, and genuinely engaging with their stories and experiences. 

By showing that you’re interested in what they have to say, you’re building rapport and trust, which can be especially important when trying to reconnect with someone after a breakup

It’s also a great opportunity to learn more about how your ex has changed and grown, which can help you better understand the person they are now.

And if lack of attention was one of the reasons why you broke up, this could be a chance to show your ex that you’ve improved in this department!

9) Make the date a no-phone zone

This is definitely connected to the full-attention tip. 

Let’s face it, our phones have become an extension of ourselves. Hardly any of us can pull off leaving our phones alone for some time. But for this date, it’s essential to leave the distractions at the door. 

Put your phone on silent mode and stash it away in your bag or pocket. This simple act signals to your ex that you’re genuinely present and engaged in the conversation, and it helps to foster an atmosphere of openness and connection. 

When you remove the temptation to check your messages or social media, you’re giving both yourself and your ex the space needed to truly reconnect and see if there’s still a spark between you.

10) Be yourself

It’s also important to remember that this date isn’t about trying to sell yourself or convince your ex to get back together. 

Instead, focus on being genuine and authentic and letting the conversation flow naturally. Show them who you are now without resorting to manipulation or exaggeration. 

See, people (especially your ex, who probably already has a good sense of who you are) can tell when someone is trying too hard or being inauthentic. So, it’s crucial to stay true to yourself. 

If you’re both meant to reconnect on a deeper level, it’ll happen organically – no sales pitch needed!

But – while it’s important to be your relaxed self, you should also remember to be respectful, as the next section shows…

11) Remember your manners

Even though you’re meeting up with someone you’ve been in a relationship with before, it’s important to maintain a level of politeness and consideration. 

Simple acts like holding the door, saying “please” and “thank you,” and being respectful of your ex’s opinions can go a long way in making the date more enjoyable for both of you. 

Demonstrating good manners not only shows that you’re a thoughtful person but also helps create a comfortable atmosphere for reconnecting.

12) Don’t overdo the PDA 

Part of having good manners on a first date with an ex is not going overboard with the touchy-feelies. 

In short, don’t try to make up for lost time by making out with them again right away. Don’t think for a second that you need to start being more romantic or intimate right away. 

You don’t want to act like “the old you” who was always up in your ex’s face and trying to make a move on them so soon after the breakup. 

If you want to get back together, then take it slow and just cuddle with them and kiss them if they want that, but don’t push for more until they’re ready for it.

Just give them time to figure out what they want without pressuring them into anything. In fact, that time and space will also remove the pressure on you! 

13) Keep the past in the past 

Ah, now we get to the tricky part. The past. 

It’s understandable to want to reminisce about the good times you shared. I suppose that just comes naturally when you’re spending time with someone you knew and shared a deep relationship with in the past. 

But be careful not to cross over into unpleasant territory. Avoid dwelling on past mistakes or negative experiences during this date. 

The thing is, this date is taking place right now, in the present. So focus on that and on the potential for a new beginning. 

If you find yourself slipping into old patterns or discussing past grievances, gently steer the conversation back to the present. 

Of course, you’ll have to have a proper discussion of your past issues at some point, but that doesn’t have to be right now on this first date. 

Remember, this date is simply an opportunity to create fresh memories and build a new connection – it’s not the time to let the past weigh you down.

14) Have a flexible exit plan 

It’s also important to go into the date with a flexible exit plan, just in case things don’t go as smoothly as you’d hoped. Because sometimes, despite our best intentions, things can go downhill, and there’s nothing we can do about it. 

This doesn’t mean having one foot out the door, but rather, being prepared to gracefully end the date if either of you feels uncomfortable or if it becomes clear that reconnecting isn’t in the cards. 

Having a plan can also help alleviate any anxiety or pressure you might feel about the outcome of the date.

15) End on a positive note 

And finally, regardless of how the date unfolds, aim to end on a positive note. 

Whether you’ve realized you’re better off as friends or that there might be potential for something more, it’s important to leave a lasting impression of maturity and warmth. Wrap up the date with a friendly hug, a genuine smile, or a kind word. 

This will show your ex that you’re still a caring and thoughtful person, even if the romantic aspect of your relationship doesn’t reignite. 

Plus, leaving things on a good note can open the door for future communication and ensure that there are no lingering feelings of bitterness or resentment.

And think about this: Even if you end up not starting a new relationship, saying goodbye on a positive note can leave you with a good feeling of closure. 


With these 15 chill tips in your arsenal, you’re all set to make the most of your first date with your ex after a breakup. 

Remember to stay true to yourself, keep an open mind, and enjoy the experience. Whatever the outcome, you’ll walk away with valuable insights and a renewed sense of self-awareness

Who knows, you might just create some new memories to cherish. Happy dating!

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