11 reasons you’re feeling drawn to someone you barely know

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We all know the feeling of instant attraction.

You see someone across the room and you’re instantly drawn to them. Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and your stomach flips.

A million reasons have been offered to explain why people develop feelings for someone they barely know, but there are a few underlying factors most of us can identify with.

From feeling an intense physical attraction to a quick and undeniable connection, these 10 things might be the reason you’re feeling drawn to someone you barely know.

1) You feel like you’ve known them your whole life

Have you ever met someone and felt like you’ve known them your whole life?

The best way to describe it is as though you’re friends who haven’t seen each other in years, but now they’re back in the same room, and it feels just like old times.

You’re instantly comfortable like you’ve been friends for years. It’s a feeling of instant familiarity and comfort.

You sense an unspoken connection.

The best first dates are when you both feel an immediate connection. You’re instantly drawn to each other, and it feels like you’ve known the person for years.

You can’t explain why, but there’s just something about them that makes you want to get to know them better. It might be a certain look in their eye or perhaps the way they laugh at your jokes.

Simply put, there’s just something about them that makes you feel like they’re someone special. Perhaps you used to know each other in a past life?

2) There’s an instant connection

Feeling an instant connection to someone you’ve just met is extremely rare.

  • It could be anybody.
  • It may be someone you’ve already met like a colleague or a neighbor.
  • Or, it could even be someone you just met.

There’s just something about them. You feel drawn to them and can’t stop thinking about them.

Could it be a strong sexual attraction that draws you to them?

Or maybe this goes beyond sexual attraction. The connection is so strong that it makes you wonder: could they be your soulmate? Your twin flame? How can you tell?

It could be that you feel a strong:

  • Emotional connection
  • Mental
  • Physical connection
  • Spiritual connection

You feel comfortable in their presence as if you’ve known them your whole life.

You click. Your minds go together like two perfectly aligned Tetris pieces. After exchanging just a few words with them, you feel that you are on the same wavelength. They immediately get your references and may even complete your sentences.

You feel their energy. It’s like you can read how they’re feeling without them having to say anything.

No wonder you find yourself daydreaming about being in their arms, being caressed and kissed, you can hardly stand it. 

This can be such a strong and overwhelming feeling, you feel like you’ve never met anyone like them, but you hardly even know them. You’re completely smitten.

Why not give it a go? There’s definitely something worth pursuing there.

3) You’re projecting

Maybe you’re lonely and have spent a long time searching for “the one”.

Here’s the deal:

You have a list of qualities that you find desirable and when you meet this new person, you project your idea of the perfect person onto them.

You feel an instant connection with them. You think it’s love at first sight. Could they be the person you’ve been looking for all this time? Your soulmate?

The truth is that you’re not really feeling anything for this person, it’s just an illusion created by your own mind. You’re creating a fantasy in your head.

Basically, your mind is playing tricks on you because of loneliness or desperation and it’s conjuring up this image of the perfect partner for you.

This is what we call: “projecting”.

You might also be projecting onto someone because of their physical appearance or personality traits that remind you of someone from your past life.

It’s no wonder that you can’t stop thinking about them!

Sadly, what you are drawn to is not real. You’ve created a person with the traits you desire out of your subconscious fantasies. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you can go out there and find someone you really do like.

4) You feel an unspoken attraction

You’ve only just met them but you feel a deep, unspoken attraction. You feel like you were meant to be with them and you don’t know why.

You have strong feelings for this person that have struck a chord inside you.

You want to know if you have a twin flame connection.

The feelings you have for this person seem so profound, so real. They feel like a part of you, like they belong to you.

You might feel that you have never felt this way about anyone before. You’re not sure if it’s love or just infatuation, but it sure feels like it could be something special.

You ask yourself “What is it about them?”

Your heart races when they smile, speak or make eye contact with you.

You probably find yourself wondering what dating this person would be like. You look for any excuse to talk to see them. You desperately want to get to know them.

5) Telepathic connection

Have you ever considered that the reason you are drawn to someone you don’t know is that you share a telepathic connection?

This could explain why you feel an instant connection with them, why you feel that they are so familiar to you.

This is what it’s like to have a twin flame connection.


You might not have known it before but this person was actually your twin flame from a past life. You share a telepathic link with them and you can’t seem to get them out of your mind for some reason because of this telepathic connection.

A past life connection is the most common reason for having strong feelings for someone you just met.

You see, a telepathic connection requires no words. You don’t need to exchange any words, you can feel what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling without them having to say anything.

This is a very powerful connection that you can’t ignore.

You feel that you are connected to this person on a deep level. You have a strong feeling that you are meant to be together.

You can tell they’re thinking about you too and it makes your heart race!

6) You’re drawn to their kindness

Did you know that one of the reasons we are drawn to strangers is because of their kindness? You feel that they are kind, good people and you want to know more.

You are drawn to their compassion and it makes you want to be around them. You feel like you want to be their friend.

Now you’re wondering if they feel the same way about you!

Whether they were kind to us or someone else, it’s something we can’t ignore. It makes this person seem desirable.

Simply put:

Kindness is a powerful thing. It can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It’s one of the most attractive qualities in a person, after all, it’s what makes us human.

7) You’re on a path of self-discovery

You are on a path of self-discovery and you find out that this person is on a journey of self-discovery too.

You feel like you can relate to this person and that you can help each other grow and get better as people.

This is a very powerful connection!

If you’re feeling these things for someone, it’s an important sign from the universe that this person is someone you need in your life. They are someone who will have a positive influence on your life.

Think about it:

The universe sends people our way for a reason. It’s telling you that they can help you grow as a person. That you can help them too!

You hae something in common and that’s what draws you to them. You feel like this person understands you and you understand them.

Here’s the thing, you both have similar paths that you’re walking and it seems to be going well for both of you.

No wonder you can’t help but admire the fact that they are going through their own journey of self-discovery, just as you are.

They seem like they want to make a change in their life and you want to be with them on this journey. You want to help them along the way.

Sounds good right?

8) You have a shared purpose

On the one hand, you feel attracted to this person because they seem to have a similar purpose to yours.


It might be a short-term goal they are trying to reach or a lifelong pursuit of something greater.

Here’s why you’re drawn to them, it’s because you feel like you have something in common. The fact that you are chasing the same dreams and want to achieve the same thing and this makes you feel close to them.

On the other hand, if you don’t know what your purpose is yet, then maybe this person can help guide you along the path of self-discovery.

You both seem to be on the same page with life goals and visions for the future.

Maybe they’re already living their dream life or maybe they’re on the right path to living their dream life in the near future.

Whether it’s about living a more meaningful life or helping others, you both have common beliefs and values that make you compatible.

You are drawn to the fact that you might be able to share your journey with them.

9) You’re both on the same wavelength

Do you feel like you’re on the same wavelength as the person you’re inexplicably attracted to?

You both have similar views on life and love.

  • Maybe you both believe in love at first sight or the power of a great first kiss.
  • Maybe you believe in true love or the importance of family values.

Either way, there is something that makes you feel close to them.

Whatever it is, there’s no denying the connection between you.

In fact, you understand each other so well that it makes sense to spend time with each other, share your thoughts and experiences, learn from each other and grow together in every way possible!

10) They’re just a distraction

Perhaps you’re obsessing about a complete stranger because you need a distraction.

You see, maybe the reason that you are drawn to them is that you are trying to escape some unpleasant aspects of your life. This person offers a temporary respite from what’s going on in your world.

  • You might be trying to get away from something that you don’t want to deal with.
  • Maybe you’re avoiding a tough conversation or making a life decision.

Here’s the deal. Whatever the case may be, rather than obsess about a stranger perhaps it’s time for some self-reflection.

So, you’re not really attracted to them as a person, but you are drawn to the fact that they are a distraction from your problems.

11) Loneliness is killing you

You’re desperate to connect with someone. You’re so lonely that it’s tearing you apart. You feel like no one who really cares about you or gets you.

Suddenly you meet this stranger and you feel drawn to them.

If you find yourself constantly thinking about someone you’ve just met, it could be because you’re lonely.

  • You might be lonely because you are trying to fill a void in your life.
  • Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not good enough and that people don’t appreciate you.
  • Maybe you feel alone because of a recent breakup.

Whatever the case may be, if you’re constantly thinking about someone that you just met, it could be because of loneliness.

Your loneliness is causing you to feel depressed and lonely and this person is distracting you from dealing with these feelings in a healthy way.

No wonder you feel like this person is your only hope for happiness.

You need to take some time for yourself and focus on your own needs before focusing on someone else’s needs again.

Dating should never be about filling a hole.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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