You’ve likely heard of the concept of twin flames, and it’s a really nice theory. However, you should beware, there is such a thing as false twin flames!
Yes, you heard right. If you want to know more about false twin flames and how you can spot them in your own life, keep reading!
What are false twin flames?
Your twin flame will catapult you into a relationship like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
Although not always easy, twin flame relationships will help you evolve more than you ever could in other partnerships.
Best of all, it will not only be a place of growth and discomfort, but it will also open your heart to love like you’ve never felt it before.
The only problem? On your path to finding your twin, or your other half, you will likely encounter people that you will soon recognize to be false twin flames.
False twin flames will feel like the real deal at the beginning of the relationship.
Turns out they aren’t your true twin flame after all once their lack of commitment and support gets to a point where you can’t deny it any longer.
You see, the connection with your false twin flame will likely feel superficial.
Whatever you do, something in the relationship always feels off, but you just can’t seem to be able to put your finger on what exactly it is.
There are lots of similarities between your false and your real twin flame (hence the danger of mixing them up accidentally):
- They come into your life at a crucial point
- They flood you with love and affection
- You feel a deep desire to be with them
Nevertheless, your false twin flame will feel nice at first, but essentially, the relationship doesn’t really get you anywhere at all.
Are false twin flames bad or dangerous?
Turns out a lot of people believe that false twin flame relationships are inherently bad or even dangerous.
The good news? They aren’t.
Sure, there is likely a lot of pain involved in false twin flame relationships.
After all, your heart is yearning for your true twin, and the false twin relationship does nothing but cause confusion and a feeling of unfulfillment.
That doesn’t mean that the relationship in and of itself will be a bad one, though.
More often than not, false twin flame relationships are filled with fun and excitement, the only problem is that you feel like you’re not moving forward.
The good news? A false twin shows you exactly what it is you want out of a relationship!
I personally believe that no relationship is ever truly “bad”.
Sure, there are relationships you should get out of as soon as possible, but generally speaking, every relationship teaches you something.
On top of that, I think it’s important to mention that your false twin is not trying to do you any harm, either.
Chances are, they are just as confused as you are.
Signs that you’ve met your false twin flame
In case you might be asking yourself whether you’ve met your false twin flame, it isn’t always easy to spot.
On the bright side, there are some signs you can look out for to determine whether your twin is legit or not.
When looking through these signs, keep in mind what your real twin flame is:
They are your other half, a vibrational match for your soul’s essence.
The truth is, if someone is truly your twin, you won’t question it as the connection you feel will be undeniable.
Without further ado, let’s dive into some signs you’re with your false twin flame.
1) They don’t want to commit to you
A big indicator of being in a false twin flame relationship is a lack of commitment in one way or another.
Excuses will come up, and they can range from anything like bad timing to needing to be free all in an effort to not commit to you.
You see, a relationship with a false twin flame will present you with all the right characteristics of a real twin flame, like:
- Deep emotional bonds
- Strong feelings
In essence, they will show you exactly what it will feel like to be with your twin, just that they won’t commit to you as your real twin will.
The best part? In case they leave, they are actually doing you a favor.
Your false twin taught you what you’ll feel with your real twin, and now they went and made space so that your real twin has a chance to come into your life.
2) You feel a lot of anxiety
On the other hand, a false twin flame relationship doesn’t only show you the good parts of being with a twin, they also show you what you don’t want in a relationship.
Being with your false twin often leaves you feeling anxious and insecure.
Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what it is exactly that is making you feel that way, but something is causing you unease.
In some cases, that could be a game of hot and cold they are playing, other times it’s less obvious.
Either way, you feel uncomfortable.
You see, with your real twin flame, it will feel like coming home. There will be a sense of comfort and safety.
3) They have a different vision of the future
This one is a red flag in any relationship. When your and your partner’s dreams are incompatible, things get tricky.
By this, I don’t mean you need to want all of the same things, but if your core values and goals don’t align at all, having a future together will be difficult.
For example, he wants to live in New York City and work a corporate job, focussing on money, and doesn’t want a dog, let alone kids, while you want a big family in the countryside.
No matter what you do, one or both of you will always end up unhappy and unfulfilled.
Real twin flames share their future visions. Actually, it’s a characteristic of meeting your true twin when your future goals are so similar it’s almost scary.
4) You doubt them
Chances are, you’re reading this article because somewhere deep within you’re having doubts about the partner you’re with.
If that’s the case, I’m sorry to tell you that your intuition is probably correct.
Meeting your real twin flame is accompanied by a sense of instant recognition.
In other words, you just know.
There is no room for doubt because your connection is just undeniable.
Now: if you’re doubting your partner and your connection, chances are good they are not the one for you.
5) You’re starting to “wake up”, but they are not
I mentioned earlier that false twins tend to show up in a time of change in your life.
Oftentimes, that’s the beginning of your spiritual awakening.
In case you’re wondering, a spiritual awakening looks different for everyone, but trust me, you’ll know if you’re in it, it’s not something you can easily ignore.
Anyways, if you’re with your false twin, they will likely accelerate that process for you, which is a good thing!
However, they will not awaken alongside you. Instead, you will notice yourselves drift further and further apart as you walk down your spiritual path and they just linger where they are.
Your real twin flame walks this path with you and the whole point of your relationship will be to grow and evolve together!
6) Past issues are coming up
Your false twin will likely trigger the living hell out of you. This can go back to things that happened in your childhood, and even entail events you thought you already worked through.
The point of it? Your false twin flame essentially helps you to purge yourself of any remaining triggers that are holding you back from fully surrendering to your real twin.
Sure, your real twin will also trigger you, but in general, the focus of your relationship will be on the future and what you can create, not so much on the past.
7) Your success threatens them
A real twin flame will root for you, no matter what. Your success will be theirs and vice versa.
Turns out, a false twin flame is quite the opposite of that.
They will see you as competition and get envious of your success instead of wanting what’s best for you.
Sure, they will act like they are happy for you, but you will sense a hint of resentment in their energy.
The thing is, your false twin doesn’t want you to fail, they just feel like your success is threatening.
They haven’t gone through their awakening, so they haven’t internalized the fact that the universe is abundant, and another’s success isn’t the lack of your own.
A true twin flame knows all that and will celebrate you and your wins.
8) They run when things get hard
Relationships are never easy, whether that’s a twin flame relationship or a regular one.
The difference between your real and your false twin flame, however, is that they will run for the hills when the going gets tough.
I’m serious, as soon as problems arise, false twin flames will not stick around to work things out.
Your real twin flame is the complete opposite. No matter how hard a situation may seem – we’re talking real problems – they will stay to figure it out with you.
Isn’t that a super comforting thought, having someone who will go through thick and thin with you?
Well, you deserve someone like that. And they’re out there, believe me.
9) You can’t be yourself with them
You know those relationships where you feel like you can’t be fully yourself out of fear that you won’t be accepted the way you are?
If that’s the case for you right now, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not with your real twin.
This could mean:
- Being quiet about beliefs you know your partner doesn’t agree with out of fear of them not accepting them
- Hiding aspects of yourself because they might mock you
- Denying parts of yourself because they might judge them
As you can probably imagine, none of that is part of a healthy relationship.
On the other hand, your real twin flame will make you so secure in your bond that you feel like you can talk to them about anything.
You feel seen, heard, and accepted. They love and accept every aspect of your being and vice versa.
Simply put, you share unconditional love.
10) You are left guessing
A false twin flame will promise you the world, but those promises are hardly ever kept.
In short, they overpromise and underdeliver.
Usually, they know exactly what it is that you want to hear, so they’ll say it.
The result? You are left feeling confused and constantly guessing about where you’re headed together.
They keep you hooked, but you never feel safe.
The good news? Your true twin will refrain from playing such games with you.
Being with them never leaves you guessing. You know exactly where you stand with them and honesty is a normal part of your relationship.
11) You aren’t sure why you are with them
You know how real twin flame relationships are full of purpose and love and undoubted feelings?
Well, a false twin flame relationship often leaves you guessing about the true purpose of your connection.
You see, eventually you will understand what purpose this false twin has served in your life.
After all, we already established that every single relationship serves a purpose, but while you’re with your twin, things are unclear.
The valuable lessons you’re learning aren’t visible to you yet, and you honestly can’t seem to figure out what you’re doing with them.
Trust me, a real twin flame relationship will fill you with so much purpose that these doubts don’t even have a chance to cross your mind.
12) They don’t let you in
A big characteristic of you being with a false twin flame is that they keep you at arm’s length and nothing you do seems to change that.
You will notice things such as:
- In times of need, they might not be there for you
- When having an argument, they give you the silent treatment
- They avoid doing things for you
- They don’t open up about their feelings with you
A real twin flame is there for you, no matter what.
You won’t have to fear abandonment, as they will never be emotionally unavailable when you truly need them.
This connection is so deep and groundbreaking, it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
13) They put you down
It comes as no surprise that putting your partner down is a huge red flag in any relationship.
If your “twin flame” keeps making disparaging comments or even makes fun of you in front of others, they are not your twin, believe me.
It’s important to mention that there obviously is such a thing as constructive criticism.
However, criticism ceases to be constructive once feelings get seriously hurt.
Needless to say, your true twin flame would never treat you like that.
Disagreements are not solved by putting you down or mocking you, and instead, they tell you in a loving way.
14) They love you conditionally
It’s no secret that twin flame relationships are based on unconditional love.
In case you’re asking yourself what unconditional love is, it means that:
- What you do
- What you say
- Your mood
- Your relationship status with them
Doesn’t influence the fact that they love you.
That doesn’t mean you need to be unhealthily attached to one another, it just means loving the other person enough to want what’s best for them, even if it’s not with you.
When you argue, it will also be from a place of love, not always agreeing, but always having respect for one another.
Your false twin flame will love you conditionally. That means, your actions, mood, etc. will influence the amount of love they show you.
15) You self-sabotage
You see, false twin flame relationships aren’t always easy. Things feel as right as they feel wrong and it’s a confusing situation.
The thing is, all of this confusion and emotional toll can lead you to self-sabotage and engage in habits that don’t help you evolve.
These habits could be:
- Not working out
- Not sleeping
- Stopping to meditate
- Not journaling anymore
You are trying to use these external things to numb the pain you feel.
To tell you the truth, a real twin won’t have you reaching for drugs in order to cope and feel okay.
On the contrary, this relationship will have you deepen your self-care because they inspire you to love yourself even deeper.
16) You are being let down on a regular basis
There is a great quote that goes something like this: “love is a verb, it doesn’t matter how often you say “I love you”. What really matters is how often you show it.
Focus on the actions in your relationship, not the words: how often does your partner show you their love?
Or do they regularly let you down by canceling plans last minute or not being there for you in times of need?
In my own experience, false twins can write you a paragraph professing their love to you every day, but if their actions don’t match what they say at all, it’s just empty words.
Your real twin will show you both with actions and words how much you mean to them.
17) It doesn’t feel like you are partners
Sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship, but when thinking about the future, we have no idea how the other person will fit into the picture.
It’s kind of like walking two different paths, and you just happen to walk together at this time in your lives.
The thing is if that’s the case, and there is no common destination on the horizons, your paths can stray apart faster than you can say “twin flame”.
You will also notice yourselves drifting further apart the longer you are together.
A real twin flame is aligned with your goals and walks in the same direction.
With them, you won’t need to worry about the future because they fit into yours like a missing puzzle piece.
18) You are stagnating
Real twin flames are growth catalysts. Although it might not always be easy, they push you to evolve and grow continuously.
You start to question your reality, your beliefs, your dreams, and your opinions so that you slowly step out of your comfort zone and move closer to your highest self.
False twin flames, on the other hand, don’t do that, leaving you stagnant and like you’re in a rut.
Don’t get me wrong, in essence, it is 100% your responsibility to grow and evolve, but if your partner doesn’t inspire you in the slightest, they’re not your real twin.
19) You feel like you don’t know them
If you’re well-read on the subject of twin flames, you’ll know that meeting your twin is like looking into a mirror.
You feel a sense of recognition and like you’ve known them forever.
Think about it: if you feel like you don’t really know your partner, how can they be your real twin flame?
Oftentimes, this will show as a deep sense of knowing that there is a disconnect between you and your partner.
It doesn’t matter that they tell you every detail of their life up until that point, you never feel like the two of you truly know one another.
20) They don’t protect you
No matter what relationship you’re in, you want to feel protected by your partner in one way or another.
- They help you when they can
- They step up for you
- They protect you from big or small things
They don’t? Then you’re most likely in a false twin flame relationship.
A real twin will do anything to protect you. After all, you’re a part of them as much as they are a part of you.
What to do when you realize you’re with a false twin flame
Now: you realized that the person you’re with is a false twin flame, should you run for the hills?
If you focus on the problems you have in your relationship and work on fixing them, the entire experience can still be extremely deep and passionate.
This is especially important if a part of you doesn’t feel ready to let go of them just yet.
After all, they might be a “false twin flame”, but the mere fact that they felt like your twin suggests that you have a lot in common and have a passionate connection.
Enjoy it, learn from it, and who knows, maybe you end up growing together after all!
In case you feel ready to break up with them, know that this can be a painful experience.
Sure, you know they aren’t your real twin flame and there are people out there who will make both of you happier, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have deep feelings for one another.
Remember that if you’re meant to be with someone, you will find a way to make things work, or you’ll find back to one another in the future.
Chances are, you are already feeling like this relationship is not meant for you.
In that case, staying will only result in unhealthy patterns.
Trust me, I know that it’s hard to break up, fear of being alone is a real thing and nothing to be ashamed of.
However, being in an unfulfilling relationship drains you way more than being alone ever could, believe me.
Make space for your real twin flame to enter your life if you already know that this relationship won’t last.
How to break up with a false twin flame
If you’re ready to break up with your false twin flame, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Essentially, they are the same things you would want to consider with any kind of breakup:
- Should you do it in private or would it feel safer to break up in public?
- Think about logistics. If you’re living together, consider who will move out and where you could potentially go
- Telling friends or family about it so they can be there for you
- Prepare for feeling like crap. Even when you’re the one breaking up, it usually doesn’t save you from big feelings
Now: I know, breakups aren’t fun and you’ll be tempted to drag out the time to do it. But let me tell you, it’s better to get it over with sooner rather than later.
This gives both of you a chance to meet the person you’re destined to be with.
Other things to remember are:
- Break up in your mind first. Think about all the reasons you’re breaking up so that the happy memories don’t make it harder than it already is.
- Always be respectful, but firm. Be clear and establish firm boundaries. You can be kind while still making it crystal clear that the relationship is over
- Don’t be afraid to get emotional. It’s completely normal and not a sign that you’re making a mistake.
After the breakup
The time after a breakup is never an easy one, even if you were the one calling the shots.
Make sure to reach out to family and friends for support during this time.
Expect to feel loneliness and isolation in the first weeks, it is normal. A good way to cope with it is by calling up your friends.
Hanging out with them is also a great idea, it will help take your mind off of things.
Also, now is the time to focus on one relationship in particular: The one with yourself.
Usually, relationships tend to make us more focused on a partner and less on ourselves.
Use this time now to build a beautiful relationship with yourself.
Trust me when I say that this will help you not only feel better, but it will improve all of your future relationships, as well!
So, how do you do that?
To improve your relationship with yourself, you need to focus on self-care.
This means taking care of yourself on all levels: physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Physically, you can:
- Make sure to move every day
- Drink plenty of water
- Get enough sleep each night
- Rest when your body needs it
- Get sunshine and fresh air every day
- Eat a diverse palate of foods
- Take care of your hygiene
- Do nice things like getting your hair done or buying clothes that make you feel good
Mentally, you can:
- See a therapist or coach
- Start journaling
- Do breathwork
Spiritually, you can:
- Work on your relationship with whatever you believe in
- Deepen your connection with yourself
- Spend time in nature
- Do tarot readings
Of course, these are only a few ideas you can try to implement into your day-to-day life.
In my own experience, implementing just a few of these changes will make a world of a difference in how you feel.
It will be so much easier to get over the breakup, and simultaneously, you will move closer to being your best self, ready to meet your true twin flame.
Don’t let it discourage you
I know, realizing that the person you’re with is a false twin flame can feel extremely discouraging.
After all, you thought they were the one you would spend your life with.
However, there is someone out there for you.
To find them, make sure that you
- Trust your intuition
- Focus on getting to know yourself before finding them
- Look after yourself (this will also raise your vibrations)
- Keep an open mind and put yourself out there a bit
If you do all of that, you will find your real twin flame sooner rather than later.
When that happens, you will all of a sudden realize the important lessons your false twin has taught you and you will notice how everything was exactly how it needed to happen.
Don’t give up, this is a lifelong journey and every encounter on your path will help you move closer to your highest self.
Your real twin flame is out there waiting for you and this experience with a false twin was a necessary part of your twin flame journey.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.