What is a false twin flame?
Are you asking yourself this question?
A false twin flame is a person who appears as your real twin flame on the surface, but in reality, they’re anything but.
While an authentic twin flame relationship can have an incredibly positive impact on your life, a false twin flame can suck the life out of you little by little.
The worst bit?
Initially, they’ll “love bomb” you with adoration and gifts, and you’ll begin to think that all your Birthdays and Christmases have come at once.
But in reality, once they’ve obtained your trust and love, they’ll take advantage of you and manipulate you to get what they want.
This is why narcissists are common catalysts for “false twin flame relationships.”
So if you’ve been doing some research about twin flames and wonder if you’ve found your true twin flame, you might be wondering what some signs are that they might be a false twin flame.
I hear ya.
After all, it’s incredibly important to work out the difference between an authentic twin flame and a false one.
But first, we need to get one thing out of the way:
What exactly is a twin flame?
Twin flames are intense, almost overwhelming, soulful connections that can bring you to your knees.
You know instantly when you meet someone that they are already a part of you.
They make you feel whole, even if you’ve never felt alone. They make you feel special.
They make you want to live more life and see more and do more. They make you want to be a better person for others.
Twin flames have incredible power, especially when they are together.
And when they are apart, you feel them inside you and miss them so much it hurts.
In fact, there is such a thing called “twin flame reunions” where you experience intense physical symptoms before you’re about to meet your twin flame.
But every now and then, you might have a false twin flame in your life that you think is the real thing.
And that is what you NEED to stay away from.
Trust me, I’ve dated my fair share of false twin flames, and it never ended pretty.
The good news?
Now I’m dating my twin flame, and I had to go all the way across the country to meet her!
But that’s a story for another time.
Today, you want to know whether the guy or gal you’re dating is not who you think they are.
So without further ado, here are 18 signs that the person you’re dating is a false twin flame.
1. You just have an inkling that they’re not who they say they are
Relationships take on different shapes and sizes over time and you might have had an inkling all along that this person might not be the twin flame you thought.
In other words, you aren’t sure if they are your soul mate or the one true love of your life.
Whatever you call it, the doubt is real. You can feel it in your stomach.
You might have an underlying suspicion that this person is not who they say they are or they are not true to their word the way you have expected them to be.
Perhaps they lied once and you found them out.
And maybe you discovered a fundamental disagreement about one of your core beliefs.
But don’t fear.
They aren’t going out of their way to hurt you, in fact, quite the opposite, but twin flames meant for each other shouldn’t have to try so hard to be around each other and grow from one another.
QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking this fun new quiz. Check out the twin flame quiz here.
2. They are self-centered.
One of the biggest signs that your twin flame is in fact a false twin flame is that they only think about themselves.
Sure, they love you and care about you, but when push comes to shove, they are really just thinking about how all this turns out for them.
They might not even believe in the idea of twin flames.
3. He doesn’t feel like your hero
Have you heard of the hero instinct?
It’s a fascinating concept in relationship psychology.
Basically, it says that when a man is truly in love, he’ll have the instinct to step up to the plate and be the provider for his woman.
This is typical of a twin flame relationship, as for a man especially, feeling like a hero can bring out deep emotional connections with his partner.
According to this theory, a man only falls in love with a woman when he feels like he is her provider and protector.
Someone that she genuinely admires for what he does for her.
Is your man stepping up to the plate to be your hero?
If not, then he might be a false twin flame.
A false twin flame will only care for himself and his main priority will be his own comfort.
One way you can find out is to try and trigger the hero instinct in your man and see if he responds.
There’s an art to doing this which can be a lot of fun when you know what to do.
The best way to learn how to trigger the hero instinct in your guy is to watch this free online video.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to this concept.
Some ideas are life changing. And when it comes to twin flame relationships, I think the hero instinct is one of them.
4. They are toxic.
They are kind on the surface but carry a lot of negative emotion, regret, resentment, and frustration below the surface. They may even ignore you.
They carry that so much it finds its way into your relationship and you feel like they are negative about your life, your needs, and your emotions.
They say things that make you think they aren’t all in.
5. They only focus on doing the bare minimum.
A sure sign of a false twin flame is someone who only shows up when it’s convenient for them.
You might not live with your twin flame, for instance, and they might only be able to see you on weekends.
It’s great while you’re together, but then Monday comes around and you feel like a distant memory to them.
The longing you feel is confusing because twin flames long for each other, but what you’re really feeling is a longing for your true twin flame.
6. They can’t handle the intensity.
When things get heated or tough situations arise, your false twin flame makes a beeline for the hills.
They can’t handle the bad things.
Your twin flame is supposed to be able to ride the waves of life with you, without questions.
7. Your zodiacs are incompatible
Yes, you can use astrology to find out whether you share something special with another person.
The best bit?
Zodiac signs can absolutely help you figure out whether you’re in a twin flame relationship. They influence how you connect with one another regarding communication, love, emotions, sex, and personality.
For instance, if you’re an Aries then star signs Leo and Sagittarius are great for you because of the emotional connection you will have.
While a Gemini will be drawn to guys who are Aquarius and Libra because they’ll tap into your intellectual, confident nature with ease.
Just by taking this star sign quiz, you’ll be able to make it your twin flame’s idea to:
- Pursue you
- Chase after you
- And completely commit to you.
I was blown away when I first took the quiz. I just selected my man’s zodiac and then discovered shocking details about him on the next page (which have proven to be 100% correct so far).
8. They don’t talk about the future.
They might confess their love and do everything right, but a false twin flame can’t get on board with making plans for the future.
They see a future that might not include you and they don’t want to hurt you.
Seems innocent enough but it’s often what people don’t say that speaks volumes.
9. You’ve found someone else you believe is your twin flame.
It’s happened once or twice that people fall in love with someone and then get swept off their feet by another person, who turns out to be the exact right person for them.
The true twin flame announces itself like a roaring thunderstorm and you won’t recognize what’s happening because you’ve bought into the idea that you’ve already found a twin flame.
Suddenly though, all of these negative traits and behaviors make sense and you realize, your twin flame is out there. Waiting for you. It’s time to make a choice.
10. You’ll think you’re the same, but something won’t feel right between you.
Twin flames are a lot alike on so many levels. It’s like you’re two halves of one whole and you’re better together.
You think that’s true but something’s got you questioning whether or not this person is for real.
The biggest sign to watch for here is doubt, especially if you’ve been searching for your twin flame, your eagerness to find them might cloud your judgment.
11. The past will bring itself up around your false twin flame.
An interesting thing happens when you’re around a false twin flame: problems from your past starting bubbling up again.
Things you thought were resolved long ago suddenly find their way back into your life.
Your false twin flame will deny any association, but it will become painfully clear that being with this person only causes you unwanted grief.
12. You don’t support each other
Whatever life throws at you, you’re not sure that they’ll be there for you. They’ll struggle to pick you up from the dark periods of your life and stay with you until you heal.
That’s what real twin flame relationships do. They support each other, even through the dark periods in life.
You know that even if your relationship is rocky, they’ll still support you because your care for each other runs much deeper than a superficial relationship.
One often overlooked aspect of supporting someone, especially your twin flame, is giving them what they actually want from a relationship.
For the women reading this, what do you think drives your partner as a man? What does he want from a relationship with you?
People tend to think men are all about money, sex, food, sports, and power.
Sure, those things all come into play at times. But I think there is a deeper truth that few women are aware of.
Men are actually driven less by those sorts of external things and more by how you make them feel about themselves.
Above all else men want to feel essential to the woman in his life.
He wants to feel like your hero.
This is especially true for how men approach relationships. They want to protect their woman, treat her right and earn her love in return.
The thing is, even if your twin flame isn’t displaying these attributes, all is not lost. You can still trigger the hero instinct in your man.
The easiest way to do this is watch this excellent free video by relationship psychologist James Bauer.
He outlines the things you can say and do to make him feel like he’s your everyday hero.
Some ideas are game changes. When it comes to twin flame relationships, I think this is one of them.
13. They’ll be focused on making you better, not others.
A false twin flame needs you to be better so they can be better.
But this is not how these kinds of relationships work. When you have a true twin flame, you both work to make others better.
You put other people first. You don’t consider how you benefit from relationships or interactions.
This is a major giveaway of the selfishness of your false twin flame.
They are only present when it suits them, but insist you’re soul mates.
Fairweather twin flames are false twin flames and you don’t need that kind of bad energy in your life.
In fact, you’ll start to feel negative and off your game if this person comes around.
You think you should miss them and want to be with them, and you’ll mistake that longing for the fact that you’re twin flames, but what you really miss is the truthfulness of the relationship.
14. You feel anxious around them and can’t quite put your finger on the reason.
A true twin flame relationship is solid and trustworthy and you can say or do anything without repercussion.
Although intense, the relationship is incredibly important and joyful.
But when you find yourself feeling anxious around your twin flame or you’re worried about something they’ll do, it’s a sure sign that they are a false twin flame and you shouldn’t have them in your life.
The truth is that if you do nothing and let this thing chart its own course, this person will be out of your life in short order.
False twin flames fizzle out quickly.
The intensity of the relationship starts out strong but then burns to a quiet ember quickly.
If you’re on the search for the twin flame, end things sooner so you can get back to pursuing your journey in truth.
QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking this fun new quiz. Check out the twin flame quiz here.
15. You feel like you don’t really know them
Have you known this person for a while?
But still feel like you don’t really know them?
In a proper twin flame relationship, you often feel like you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve just met.
So if you feel like you can’t quite “get them” even if you’ve been together for a long time, then unfortunately, they might be a false twin flame.
The connection of a twin flame is so intense that you tend to naturally emphasise with each other, and it just seems to happen without trying.
But if you’re struggling to get to know who this person is, or you can’t understand who they are, then that may point to the fact that they’re a false twin flame.
16. You’re not really drawn to each other
If you’ve just seen each other, then you don’t feel a need to see them again for a while.
This is a sign that they might be a false twin flame.
You see, in a twin flame relationship, you feel drawn to being together, You can’t resist being with each other.
But if you’re happy to leave them and you’re only really seeing each other once a week, then it might point to the fact that a certified twin flame relationship might not be there.
Sure, they might be a good friend, and you enjoy hanging out with them when you do, but there is no real invisible pull to always be with them.
17. They don’t challenge you
A twin flame relationship isn’t always comfortable. Your partner will challenge your views, habits and ways of thinking.
This happens as they want to help expand and improve your life, and their deep connection with you is enough to make you take those first steps.
So if they’re not really challenging you at all, and you’re not learning anything new, then they might be a false twin flame.
A true twin flame also act as a mirror to your inner self, so whatever negativity, issues or insecurities you have will be there right in front of you, forcing you to confront them.
But if you’re not really growing as a person and you’re not challenging each other, then you might be in a false twin flame relationship.
18. You had different upbringings and it’s causing conflict
Your upbringings might have been the polar opposite, and this is causing conflict in your relationships.
Perhaps he likes to go to fancy restaurants and you prefer food on the street.
Whatever it is, you constantly argue about it, and it isn’t pretty.
In a twin flame relationship, you want to learn and understand more about each other’s early memories, and this helps you in knowing them better as a person.
Make your relationship last by doing this
If you are in a twin flame relationship — cherish it. These types of relationships can be fleeting and short, or last for years, but the impact they have on you will remain for the rest of your life.
It’s a beautiful thing to experience.
However, if you feel like you’re in a false twin flame relationship, then all is not lost. You can still be in a deep and passionate relationship by doing a little more work.
If you want to turn a false twin flame relationship around (or improve your existing twin flame relationship), you need to check out this free online video by relationship expert James Bauer.
He’ll introduce to you a radical new concept in relationship psychology called the hero instinct. I’ve talked about this briefly above.
I think learning about the hero instinct holds the key to gaining a man’s love and devotion for life.
The real reason why men pull away
Want to learn the real reason why men pull away from emotionally committing in a relationship?
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