17 signs of a fake nice guy you need to watch out for (complete list)

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Nice guys are the type of men you want to meet. They’re respectful, thoughtful, and caring. But what happens when a nice guy isn’t really that nice after all?

A fake nice guy is a man who is not really kind or considerate. He just puts on an act to seem like a good person so he can get something from another person. The thing about these types of men is that they aren’t always easy to spot at first glance. 

However, if you know what to look out for, spotting these guys will be much easier in the future. Here are 17 signs of a fake nice guy that you should watch out for.

1) He only asks for favors when it benefits him

He’s a self-absorbed person who only asks for favors from you if it benefits him in some way. Nice guys are the type who wouldn’t dream of doing something that wouldn’t benefit them, to begin with. 

Yet, fake nice guys don’t give a care about themselves or you in the first place. It would just be easy for them to ask for favors from you, yet they often refuse to do so.

Just think about it. A fake nice guy will want to borrow your car, money, or your phone just because they can. 

They think that if they ask nicely, you’ll be happy to do it. Never mind that they might ruin your relationship just to get what they want.

Also, a fake nice guy wouldn’t understand why you would turn down a favor. If a lady rejects his request, he’d probably think that you’re just “difficult” or “mean.”

2) You constantly feel bad around him, which means he manipulates your emotions

Think about this for a moment: 

What’s the first thing a fake nice guy does? 

He manipulates your emotions.

He’ll go out of his way to make you happy. If he has something to gain from you, he’ll do what it takes to make you happy. This is why everything will always seem to be either all right or bad with him.

If you have a fake nice guy in your life, all the good times will seem great, but all the bad times will always seem worse than they really are. 

As a result, you’ll think that he is the greatest person in the world, which is why he wears himself thin trying to please you and get what he wants from you!

For example, he might be the nicest person anyone has ever met. However, he doesn’t care about himself or other people, so he keeps on doing things to make you happy. You will feel guilty for rejecting his requests, yet at the same time, you’ll feel like you owe him something.

A fake nice guy is the type to take advantage of people and make them feel bad. Your emotions are very fragile with these types of guys, which is why they can easily manipulate your moods.

3) He’s overly complimentary

Have you ever received a compliment from someone, only to have them go on about how great you are? 

You feel so good about yourself for a moment and think, “How can this person be so nice?” or “This is just a ploy to get what I want.”

You can easily distinguish these fake nice guys from the real ones because they aren’t sincere. Instead, they compliment you in order to gain something.

And you will feel bad if you reject their compliments, yet you’ll also feel angry about being manipulated. Your emotions will be all over the place with a guy like this.

These compliments include things such as, “You’re so beautiful,” “You’re so smart,” or “You have the nicest smile.” And then they start to ask for favors like, “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” or “Will you go out with me this weekend?”

Want to know the worst part?

A lot of women will feel bad about rejecting these fake nice guys because they have this idea that their refusals are the reason for their lack of confidence.

4) What would a relationship coach say

Every time you deal with a guy who is being nice to your face but not being nice behind your back, you are dealing with a “Sheep in Sheep’s clothing,” which is someone who doesn’t do what they say.

It’s the worst type of person because they pretend to be one thing but their actions say something completely different. And since they never really follow through on what they say, you end up getting hurt time and time again.

But here’s the good news:

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like dealing with a fake nice guy. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

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5) He badmouths other guys you know

Another sign that shows he is the fake nice guy is when he badmouths other guys you know.

You might notice that he might not like his friend (or any guy for that matter) and will try to get you to be mean to him or tell others how bad of a person he is.

Why?

Because he can’t stand other guys that are better than him. He will try to make you dislike them so he can feel better about himself!

The truth is that these types of guys don’t know how to have a healthy relationship with others. They rely solely on getting themselves accepted by the women they date, so they are always trying to get people to like them.

They might be nice and all-around good people, but they aren’t genuine.

6) He constantly talks about himself and constantly needs validation

Another way the fake nice guy will be different from the nice guy is that he constantly talks about himself.

This is something that many girls don’t see as a problem, but it’s an issue that often leads to poor relationships and even cheating.

If you know this guy, you might think that he is a confident person and that nothing could bother him, but if you take one step closer to finding out his true motives for dating you, you’ll notice that he is desperate for attention.

He will say things like, “I have such a good personality!” or “I have so many friends! Isn’t it great to have so many friends?!? I just love them all so much! I wish I had more of them in my life!”

Do you know what they really mean? 

They wish they had someone who loved them enough to listen to their stories and put up with their bad behavior. Instead of asking a girl out, they are asking her to look past how needy they are and overlook their shortcomings.

This kind of behavior is not just annoying – it can actually be dangerous. Women should never feel obligated to date someone because they need validation from people around them.

7) He apologizes a lot, but it’s always for the same thing

Let’s face it, guys, in general, need to apologize a lot. If you ever have a question or something to say, they will be sure to express their regrets.

But it’s not the case with the fake nice guy. He’ll apologize a lot, but he will only apologize because he isn’t as confident as others may think him to be.

Real nice guys don’t need to push themselves on other people in order to feel better about themselves.

He will always tell you that he is sorry and explain why, but it’s not because he really feels bad about himself, it’s just because he wants you to accept him when all of his intentions are extremely selfish.

If you do find out that this guy isn’t that nice of a person, don’t get mad at yourself for not wanting him – just know that you weren’t the one who was wrong and move on from there!

8) He constantly talks about his ex without any hesitation

How many times have you dated a guy who would talk about his ex without any hesitation? 

It’s pretty sad, but if you are someone who is trying to find a nice guy, it’s probably better to avoid any kind of guy like this.

If you do decide to get into a relationship with him, he will try to make it sound like he has learned from his mistakes, but the truth is that he isn’t going to change at all.

Real nice guys don’t put any emphasis on their past relationships – they only want what they have now. They are glad that they found the right person and want nothing more than for her to be happy.

If you date a guy who constantly mentions his exes, it will be very hard for them to ever trust you – since, in their mind, there is no point in working so hard just because of one person.

Being indifferent about your past relationships allows for both parties in the relationship to feel truly happy and free from stress and anxiety – both of these qualities make being in love more fun!

This also means that he has trust issues because he is never able to feel that way in his relationship.

9) He constantly asks for your opinion, but never actually listens

Fun fact:

Relationship experts say that when you want to know the person you are dating, ask yourself two questions: How will he react if I do this? How will he feel if I don’t do this?

If you find out that the guy you are dating is someone who responds to your opinions but doesn’t actually listen, it’s possible that they just want to be in control of every situation.

Let me explain:

These guys don’t have good relationships with their parents or significant others because they hate being told what to do.

If you ask a guy like this questions, they will tell you anything to be in control and make it seem like you had no idea what your own opinion was about anything. 

They don’t mean for this to come out as rude, but he will try his best to make it seem that way – if you take the time to give him honest feedback, it may actually improve the relationship.

People who are in serious relationships should know what they want and shouldn’t need anyone else telling them how things should turn out. We all know that we can’t be absolutely sure about something until we experience it ourselves!

10) He will guilt trip you if you don’t do what he wants

Of course, if you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know that there is a difference between having someone who is bossy and someone who just wants to make sure you’re safe.

He will try to lure you into his world by making you think he cares about your well-being, but the truth is that he just wants to be able to walk all over anyone he sees fit.

This is a big sign that he is a fake nice guy who just wants a caretaker. He is unable to compromise on his own and he will try to manipulate the relationship.

If you are a shy girl who isn’t used to these kinds of relationships, it might be hard for you not to cave in, but it’s better for everyone if you don’t fall for his bad intentions!

So how can you deal with a fake nice guy in a practical way?

I know just the thing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time – and finally offered an actual solution to dealing with a fake nice guy.

But it all starts with your inner relationship. Once you learn how to love yourself, giving and receiving love becomes a whole lot easier. 

If you’re ready to take that journey, click here to watch the incredible free video.

11) He doesn’t respect your boundaries

The most important thing a real nice guy will learn is to respect your boundaries and values.

If a person is willing to push themselves on you just to make themselves feel better, then they obviously don’t care about the relationship. 

Real nice guys respect your boundaries and are more than willing to work with you to make sure that you are both happy in the relationship.

Sometimes this even involves changing their own opinions and values, but they know that in order to have a successful relationship, they have to work together.

On the other hand, a fake nice guy is not going to change at all, and this will be very difficult for you as a girlfriend.

I know that change is hard, but if you stick with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, it will only hurt both of you in the long run.

12) He’s overly emotional

I bet you’ve been in a relationship with a guy who has never really had any kind of control over his emotions.

He might even get upset about little things, such as you not wanting to go out on certain nights – and it can be hard for him if he doesn’t get his way.

These things don’t matter to him, though – it’s all about him being able to get his way and feel like you are the center of the world.

In other words, fake nice guys aren’t the best people to be in a serious relationship with.

Real nice guys know when to keep themselves in control and respect your boundaries. They know what’s best for both of you and are happy with whatever decision you make.

13) He has a history of bad relationships with women

This is probably the most important thing if you want to protect yourself from another heartbreak.

A woman who has been in a lot of bad relationships knows that there are some guys who just don’t know what they want. 

Even though this is usually true, it doesn’t mean that you have to get involved with any guy with a history of being in bad relationships.

You should know what you want and go after that – don’t get involved with someone who has a lot of baggage.

However, if you do find yourself in a relationship with someone who has been in a lot of bad relationships before, try to talk to them about the experience and where it led to.

In most cases, people have bad relationships because they just don’t know how to be in a good one, so these conversations could actually help them become the kind of person you are looking for.

14) He only wants to hang out in public or on the phone

Ever wondered why fake nice guys and bad boys have so much in common?

I mean, they both like to go out and have fun in public – and they both like to hang out on the phone.

But where does that leave real nice guys? Well, that’s exactly what I’m about to reveal: They don’t like these things at all.

Instead of acting this way, real nice guys want to do something that is more conducive to a relationship.

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is only interested in hanging out in public or just talking on the phone, then you don’t really have a relationship at all!

Go for a real nice guy instead – his love for you is not going to be fake.

15) He lies about who he really is

He might tell you that he’s this wonderful person that you can’t live without – and all of it might feel real!

However, it isn’t until you spend some time with him that you realize just how fake his words are. 

While he might be nice to look at on the surface, he is actually a completely different person behind closed doors.

I know it might sound crazy, but when someone is lying about who they really are, you really don’t know what to believe anymore.

This makes it very hard for both of you in the relationship, and you can’t trust anything that this person tells you.

So don’t fall for the fake nice guy and start with a really nice guy instead!

16) He promises things and then never follows through on them

The truth is:

This is a very common trait among fake nice guys. 

Most of the fake nice guys I’ve met have been very romantic, but once the relationship gets serious, their true colors come out.

They promise something that they are not going to deliver on. This is sad because you are probably in a good place with them and they could have helped you in a lot of ways. 

Instead, they damage your relationship with their actions and start to push you away instead of standing by your side.

17) He constantly pressures you for sex

The last sign you’re with a fake nice guy is if he keeps pressuring you for sex.

There is a very fine line between being a man who makes you feel good about yourself and a man who pressures you for sex.

If you are constantly feeling pressured to have sex or if you feel like he is controlling your life, then you might be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of real love.

You should not feel like you have to give up anything that is important to you just because it’s important to him.

Being a nice guy should mean that he accepts you for who you are and loves you for it – not that he tries to change your entire personality. 

Final thoughts

Hopefully, you now know exactly what to look for when it comes to fake nice guys.

If you are in a relationship with someone who falls into any of these categories, then you need to find out why they act in this way.

Do not stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t really respect your boundaries because this is the first step to becoming the type of person who doesn’t respect themselves.

And, of course, you should also avoid being with a fake nice guy so that you can ensure that the next time you find yourself in the kind of relationship that is right for you.

If nothing else, at least you’ll have a better understanding of love and why people do the things they do.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.