You woke up drenched in sweat—all guilty and confused—because you dreamt of another man.
Before you put your relationship under a microscope, here are many possible reasons why you’re dreaming about another man. You’d be surprised many of them aren’t really related to your relationship!
If you dream about having sex with another man
I know you’re anxious to know if you’re subconsciously sexually attracted to the man in your dream.
Look, you don’t need to get a dream interpreter for you to know exactly if you’re attracted to another guy or not. Just ask yourself this question.
Do you find this guy sexually attractive?
If the answer is hell no, then you shouldn’t be stressing about it at all! And even if the answer is yes, so long as you don’t actually go out and do things with that guy in real life then you’re good.
According to Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung, a dream doesn’t necessarily reveal repressed wishes. It can be some sort of reflection of what’s going on with your life and your FEELINGS.
If you’re cheating with another man, maybe the CHEATING FEELING is all you need to decode.
How did you feel when you cheated in your dream?
Guilty? Free? Vindicated? Anxious?
Look for this feeling in some other commitment you have. Maybe you promised your mother you’ll take care of your brother, maybe you have a new job and you feel like you want to quit already.
Don’t take dreams literally.
Look for the feeling and assess where this may apply in your waking life.
If you dream about a man you look up to in real life
Let’s say that you dreamt that you’re on a road trip with your mentor. You’re laughing and flirting with the wind blowing your hair as if you’re in a Hollywood road movie.
Does this mean you fancy him? That you’re just repressing your feelings and it surfaced to your subconscious?
Dreaming about someone superior to you like your boss, your teacher, your uncle, or your mentor can mean many things.
The most reasonable interpretation is that you IDEALIZE this man.
He may have qualities that you want in a guy or for yourself and it has tapped your subconscious.
Maybe he was a smooth driver and a smooth talker in your dream. That’s probably what YOU want to be.
You see, this is a great opportunity to assess what you want for yourself so you can grow, and not really a time for you to check if your SO is really your best match.
As long as you can honestly say to yourself that your relationship is good (and that you’re really not in love with this man), dreaming about a superior or a mentor is definitely not because you’re falling for him.
Now, time to get that pen and paper. List down the traits he had in your dream.
Was he decisive? Funny? Smart?
Take your time to really think about this because maybe those are the traits that you want to have for yourself. Then go do those things. Our dreams are like maps that can help us improve our lives.
If you dream of a man you’ve never met before
If you’re dreaming of a man you don’t know, it doesn’t automatically mean he’s your soulmate and that you have to break up with your current boyfriend so you can find this man.
He might not even exist, physically.
Carl Jung said that if you’re dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman.
In Jung’s theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. You need to recognize and honor your masculine side for you to be a whole person.
Maybe you want to be more decisive.
Maybe you want to go on more daring adventures.
Maybe you want to hang out with other men without them looking at you like a fragile little girl.
The clue might be revealed in your dream by this stranger.
What traits does he exhibit in your dream? What is his status? What kind of aura does he exude?
As a woman, we’re expected to walk and talk and think like a woman. Maybe deep inside you, you want to break free from this mold by being just like this stranger in your dream?
Maybe this stranger is actually you in a male form.
If you dream of a man who you rely on
So let’s say that you’re always with your boss or colleague or officemate. It’s kinda inevitable that they will creep into your subconscious, even in a romantic way.
Before you start pushing them away in real life because you’re afraid that you actually lust them on a subconscious level, you should know that dreams are rarely literal. Don’t ruin your friendship!
You wouldn’t believe that there are so many women out there who dreamt of kissing their dads. It wouldn’t be surprising if they have got an electra complex or something going on.
What this likely means is that you’re becoming dependent on this man. Maybe they’re your colleague who helps you a lot or your brother who sends you money.
When you are in a dynamic where you need them more than they need you, you’ll have a lot of repressed feelings towards this person. It might be that you feel guilty for “using” them, or you might feel mild anger or annoyance towards them but you can’t express them fully in real life because you simply can’t lose them.
If you dream of an ex
Dreaming about an ex is a little confusing and it might be the hardest one to decode in this list.
These dreams can rekindle that lovey-dovey feeling, especially if you and your ex broke up on good terms. It can feel so real that it will make you question your current relationship.
Dreaming about exes usually occurs when you’re in a new relationship or when you’re already settled in the relationship and you’re over the honeymoon period.
If your relationship with your current SO is still new, dreaming about an ex could just mean your old self haunting you. Since your ex represents the aspect of you that deals with relationships, it could mean that you’re worried you won’t be a good partner to your SO… that you have fears you’ll repeat the same mistakes.
It could also mean that you have unresolved feelings towards your ex in a romantic or non-romantic way.
There’s a possibility that your subconscious is trying to come to terms with the past and is finally saying goodbye to that old version of you, the person who’s once in love with the ex.
Ask yourself what you were like in your previous relationship. Did you like that version of you? Do you wish you could be better this time around? How?
If you have recurring dreams about the same man
Sure, it could mean that this man is subconsciously trying to connect with you through your dreams because he misses you a lot and you feel the vibration, but the more reasonable explanation is that you have unresolved issues that’s become chronic.
Without thinking hard, visualize this man again and, without thinking too hard, try to come up with five words that best describe this man. Or, if you know him in real life, think about the scenarios where you usually associate with him.
Again, like the ones mentioned above, ask yourself what you think he represents.
You need to face this problem or aspect of yourself that you keep running away from. If you’re in a relationship and you can’t say you’re truly happy with how things are, maybe this man is the clue.
Honestly ask yourself this: Is there something that I’ve been avoiding?
Maybe the man is very playful and fun in your dreams and your current boyfriend is very serious and you really wish you’re more fun.
So yes, dreaming about the same guy might mean you have to ask deeper questions about yourself and your relationship. Once you resolve your problems or make improvements on yourself, you’ll notice you won’t dream of the same man again.
If you dream about your first love
Dreaming about your childhood sweetheart doesn’t automatically mean you actually miss them. Who you are now is totally different from the snotty kid you once were.
It could mean that in one way or another, you miss your youth.
First loves are often very intense, yet at the same time pure and simple. You have yet to be burdened by the heartbreaks and worldly worries you have had to deal with since then.
More likely than not, your soul yearns for that innocence and simplicity that is long gone.
Maybe there’s something going on in your relationship right now that is making it more complicated than you feel like it should be, and just want it to become as simple and straightforward as your old love.
Of course, equally valid is the possibility that your current partner reminds you a lot of your first love, even if you’re not conscious of the fact, and that your dreams are your subconscious trying to get you to realize that fact.
Try giving it some thought. Consider the possibility and think of where your man reminds you of your first love.
Is it in the way he parts his hair or pushes his glasses to his nose? Maybe the way he kisses you goodnight? Whether this is a good thing or not depends entirely on you.
But here’s one thing it isn’t: It isn’t a sign that you should ditch your current SO even if you’re doing great just to search for your childhood sweetheart.
If you dream about your colleagues
You might get spooked if you find yourself dreaming about the people you know at work—maybe it’s your boss, or that guy in the cubicle right beside yours.
You might even begin wondering if you’ve been wanting to everyone in the whole office, and then slap yourself in the face at just how absolutely ridiculous the idea sounds.
You can rest easy that your dreams probably aren’t trying to push you in that direction.
If anything, it means you probably think about work way too much!
Some people leave their work in the office. Yet others love their work so much that they take it home with them. You, on the other hand, care so much about your work that you not only take it home, you bring it with you into your dreams as well.
In all seriousness, this can mean that you’ve become so focused on your work that it has taken away from your relationships—including the one you have with your man.
It’s like work has become a third person squeezing itself into your relationship with your partner, and the best your unconscious mind can do to get this realization across is to pick a random colleague of yours to embody your job as a whole.
You’ll probably want to look into getting your priorities back in line.
On the other hand, it could also mean that there’s something important at work that you’ve been forgetting and should probably work on soon if you don’t want things to fall apart around you.
So go check your organizers and notes to make sure you haven’t missed a thing…then deal with work-life balance right after!
If you dream of yourself as a man
The first time you see him, you might not realize straight away who he is. But with every dream that he shows up in, you can’t help but feel this uncanny sense of familiarity in his manners and in his looks.
You’re way too alike. It’s almost like you’re the same person. Then it hits you. You ARE the same person—you’ve been dreaming about meeting a male version of yourself.
You might even feel aghast and deny it when the realization first strikes, especially if you’ve been finding yourself attracted to ‘him’ in your dreams.
But let’s say you got over that initial shock. What does it even mean to keep dreaming about yourself as a guy?
The most straightforward explanation is that you’re a touch more masculine than you think you are or have been forcing yourself to act like.
It could be anything from you being just a smidge bolder than the average gal, to you becoming aware of the fact that you’re experiencing severe gender dysphoria. Give it some thought.
Whatever you learn about yourself, the most important thing is this: there are certain aspects of yourself that you want to pay attention to and embrace.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to seduce but you feel like men should always make the first move. Maybe you always wanted to be the one in charge but because you’re a woman, you let your SO take the lead.
Dreams can tell a lot of things. They are where a lot of thoughts and emotions that we suppress or fail to notice in our day-to-day lives come out to express themselves.
Sadly, dreams are also not governed by reason, so they can also be fairly misleading if you take them at face value.
So don’t panic if you find yourself dreaming of another man. Most of the time, the people in our dreams are just symbols. Sometimes, they don’t even make sense. And isn’t that a great relief.
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