Is he your Prince Charming, or just another guy ready to break your heart?
Dating someone is exciting and fun, but you reach a stage where you start to question your feelings. Some men simply don’t like to open up, which leaves you guessing.
But even if he isn’t good at expressing his feelings, there are tell tale signs that can help you out. In fact, it’s pretty black and white.
Stop wondering if he’s in love with you and know for sure.
This list is all you need to know once and for all.
He loves me… he loves me not…read on to find out….
17 undeniable signs he loves you
1) He protects you
The hero instinct is a biological drive all mean have to care for those around them.
It comes down to the fact that they want to be needed by the woman they’re attracted to.
If you’ve triggered the hero instinct in your man, there’s no doubt he is head over heels for you.
So, how do you know?
Does he always look out for you and take extra care with your safety? For example, he might insist you walk on the inside when you’re on a busy road.
Does he come to your aid when it looks like you’re in trouble? Perhaps standing up to other guys and telling them when it’s time to back off.
Does he turn up on your doorstep with chicken soup when you’re feeling unwell. Maybe with a back massage thrown in for good measure.
He has put your safety and wellbeing above all else. It’s his hero instinct.
He wants to be seen as your protector, not as simply a ‘friend’.
And he’s only done this because he’s deeply and madly in love with you.
2) He holds his eye contact
Some men have very few words when it comes to their emotions. But their eyes won’t lie to you.
In fact, you can see right through his eyes to get to know the real man.
He can act tough, but his eyes will tell you the truth.
So, what are his eyes telling you?
Does he avoid eye contact altogether? Run! This isn’t a good sign of a lasting relationship.
Does he glance at you? This is good, but not great. He’s looking, but not for long.
Or perhaps do a double glance? OK, it’s clear he’s into you. He can’t help but take a second look.
Or does he gaze longingly into your eyes? Jackpot!
It’s the gaze you want to see.
This is when he looks at you, and just keeps looking. It’s a good two to three seconds of solid eye contact.
You don’t want to pass up this signal. Here’s a guy who is clearly infatuated with you.
He’s comfortable with you. He notices you and he can’t take his eyes off you.
Don’t let him get away, he’s a keeper!
3) He makes you feel safe
When you’re in a truly secure relationship and love is in the air, you will feel nothing back safety.
Reaching a point of true security in your relationship can take time.
It’s when you realise you can spend time apart, discovering yourself and your interests, without sacrificing your relationship.
If you’ve found this bond with your guy, it’s because you both care for each other deeply.
You both love each other and feel secure in what you’ve built in your partnership.
It’s an amazing feeling, so savour it. And rest assured, you have someone you can rely on for a long time to come.
If he didn’t love you, then you wouldn’t have that secure feeling you’re currently experiencing.
You’d feel worried, anxious, and constantly wondering where he is and what he’s doing.
So have a think about how you’re feeling in your relationship.
Anxious? Then it’s time to run.
Safe? This comes from a place of love.
4) He introduces you to his friends
If your boyfriend is happy to parade you in front of his friends, then it’s a good sign he’s into you.
He sees a future with you.
Some guys don’t want to be seen with the woman they date.
They bring her into the guy friendship zone and it leaves him vulnerable. Guys love nothing more than to joke around at each other’s expense.
If you’re not a long-term thing, then he’s not going to waste his time.
Why go through all of that if he doesn’t see a future with you?
If you’ve met his friends or it’s on the cards, then start celebrating.
He’s falling in love and is ready to seal the deal.
Meeting his friends is that sign.
Feeling a bit nervous about the meeting? Just be yourself and don’t let your nerves get the better of you. You already have the seal of approval from your partner. That’s why you’re there! All his friends know this too, so they already like you.
5) He comes to you for advice
We all rely on each other a little when it comes to relationships.
We ask each other’s advice every day:
- What should we have for dinner?
- What movie do you want to watch?
- Where do you want to go today?
But when it comes to advice about life, this is a whole other ball game.
If the conversation shifts from ‘what type of pizza do you want’ to ‘what should I study at university’, then he’s in love with you.
This is an important decision in his life and he wants your input. That’s love.
Think about it: would you go to someone you didn’t love or trust and ask them for life advice? Of course not!
If he’s coming to you with those big questions, he’s here to stay.
Take the time to be there for him and help him with his life decisions, as your support is important to him.
6) He remembers the little things
Do you ever get the feeling your guy isn’t listening?
Half the time he’s not. Sorry ladies, but guys just don’t make the best listeners!
The other half? He’s listening and taking in every word you say, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
How do you know which half your boyfriends falls into? That part is easy! What does he remember?
- Does he always ask you how your day was?
- Does he remember when you have something important on? Like a doctor’s appointment, big client or lunch? Does he ask you about it?
- Does he remember that family function you booked him out for weeks ago?
- Does he pay attention to what you say about your friends and family and ask them all the right questions about how their work and life is going?
This guy is out to impress you. He remembers all these details for the simple fact he cares.
If it’s important to you, then it’s also important to him.
If your boyfriend is going out of his way to be attentive to you then soak it up.
This guy’s a keeper!
7) He keeps his promises
Is there anything better than a man of his word?
A guy who listens to you and keeps his promises is a guy who loves and respects you.
If your guy is promising you the world, but then falling short when it comes time to deliver, then you might want to think about your future.
A guy who loves you will always follow through. He wants to make you happy.
His promises aren’t for show.
And they aren’t made simply to keep you interested until the next time you hook up.
Instead, they’re a reflection of how he feels about you. He would go out of his way to make you happy no matter what.
8) He would drop everything for you
Have you ever had one of those moments where you needed help?
Perhaps you found yourself stranded with a flat tyre?
Or maybe you locked yourself out of home and couldn’t get in?
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. It happens to the best of us!
Does your boyfriend drop everything to help you out in these moments? Or does he come up with a million and one excuses of why he can’t make it. Perhaps he just ignores your calls and texts altogether?
It’s important to work out which group your boyfriend falls into, as it’s a good sign of how he feels.
If he’s the drop everything type, then you’re in luck.
It’s a true sign that he’s in love with you.
You’re his number one priority and he’s always willing to come running to your side when you need him.
It’s nice to have someone to rely on – so cherish it!
9) He never judges you
Let’s face it, we all have our quirks in life.
Those little nuances that make us…us!
Whether your that loud snorer as soon as your head hits the pillow, or like to bite your nails when you’re nervous – no matter what, your man won’t judge you.
If he doesn? Then he’s clearly not your man. So dump and run!
In fact, when a guy is in love with you, he finds these quirks endearing.
It’s the little quirks that make someone lovable. You may even find the same about him!
Do you just melt when he blushes from nerves? It’s because these quirks make us who we are, and what’s not to love about that.
So, don’t hide your differences. Instead, celebrate them. If he’s the right guy for you, he’s going to love them.
Sharing your quirks allows you to connect, open up and endear you towards each other.
Does he tell you your snoring is cute?
It’s well and truly love.
10) He replies to your texts right away
We all know that if a guy’s into you, he always responds to your messages. But how fast he replies can be a sign of whether it’s love.
Think about it: some guys hardly ever reply to messages. These guys aren’t worth wasting your time on. They clearly aren’t thinking about you or putting you first. Some don’t reply at all – delete!
These guys don’t appreciate you at all.
But then there is the guy who replies straight away.
He always has an answer for you and is always ready to chat.
Because he is willing to interrupt whatever he is doing for you.
In his eyes, you’re worth it.
What else can you ask for!?
Go on, send him a text just to test the waters…you know you want to.
11) He lets you pick the movie
A guy is never going to put you in charge of picking a movie unless it’s love.
He knows as soon as he relinquishes that control, you are going to hit him with all the soppy, romantic movies you can.
So, if you really want to know if he’s in love with you, ask him to watch a chick flick.
If it’s love, he’ll make the sacrifice for you.
He knows how much you love it, and will want to make you happy.
This is a clear sign he’s in love with you and wants to make it work.
But beware, you may have to reciprocate with that action movie he loves!
Love is a two-way street after all…
12) He enjoys spending time with you
Men have their interests: sport, mates, actions movies and video games.
If he’s willing to part with his favourite things to spend some time with you, then you’re onto to something good.
It comes down to the simple fact that he values you over more than anything else in his life – and he’s not afraid to show it.
This doesn’t mean he’s going to give up these things altogether. Or that you should want him to. It’s good to have hobbies that are separate.
It simply means he knows the importance of balance and when to put you first.
If your guy chooses sport over you each and every time, it’s time to face the facts. He’s just not that into you in. In fact, he actually values sport over you in his life.
On the other hand, if he’s willing to switch it off and make time for you then you have a good guy who’s clearly into you.
13) He supports your dreams
We all have dreams in life. What we want to do. What we want to be.
Your man should be right behind you, supporting you each step of the way.
So, what exactly does this support look like?
- He shows interest when you talk about your dreams and aspirations.
- He shares his feedback and wants to get involved.
- He supports your dream and is willing to help you to make it work.
- He pushes you to reach your potential because he knows how important it is.
This is a guy who loves you.
He cares about your happiness as much as he cares about his own.
He wants to build a life with you and watch your achievements.
This is a guy who wants you to be a part of his life, rather than to make you mould into his. He respects and appreciates what you want from life and wants to work with you to get there.
This guy loves you and wants nothing but the best for you.
14) He gets a tad jealous
The last thing we want is an overbearing man who gets jealous every time you even look at another guy.
As an emotion, jealousy has a pretty bad reputation.
But a little jealous is actually a very normal response – and a good one.
According to relationship therapist, educator, and author Shadeen Francis:
“Jealousy is the feeling that lets us know that we are seeing, hearing, or witnessing an experience that we want for ourselves — that’s it. That might mean quality time with your partner. That might mean recognition or some material item. Whatever it is, noticing your own jealousy helps you get clear on what it is that you want or value and feel like you might not already have.”
That’s a good thing.
And it’s a sign that he’s in love with you.
He might not even realise he’s doing it at all. But the signs are there:
- He goes out of his way to get closer to you when out and about.
- He asks you why you were speaking to a guy.
- He asks what you were talking about.
He’s subtle in his approach but the slightly jealous cues are there.
He cares about you – deeply.
15) He’s planning a future together
Does he talk about trips he wants to take with you?
Does he talk about how many kids he wants?
Does he talk about where he wants to live with you?
This is a guy who is future planning, for the simple reason that he sees a future with you.
He might not be ready to say the ‘L’ word just yet – many guys just aren’t good with their emotions.
But he isn’t afraid to let you know he’s in it for the long term.
He wants to spend the rest of his life with you. This is a guy who is in love with you.
At the same time if you have a guy who avoids the future at all costs, and won’t even plan the next week with you – these are alarm bells.
He’s not willing to commit with you, let alone entertain a future with you. Back out now!
You want the guy who envisions a life with you in it.
16) The intimacy is there
We’re not talking about sexual intimacy (although it’s a good sign if that’s there too).
But rather, he wants to be close to you all the time.
He wants to hug you. Embrace you. Poke you (as annoying as that can be). Hold your hand.
He just wants to be close to you and to hold you.
Intimacy is the words and actions, as well as sharing feelings and experiences. From pain and sadness through to happiness and excitement.
It’s about really listening to your partner and what they are going through and offering a reassuring touch, or allowing them to cry.
Intimacy is closeness that is about so much more than just sex.
If your partner is all these things, then it’s driven by love. His feelings for you have driven him close and he’s not willing to let that go.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
Do you love him?
Do you have a feeling he feels the same way?
Just because your ready to admit your feelings way before he is, doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way. Guys just aren’t as good at expressing themselves.
Go with your gut and trust your gut on this one.
He loves me… He loves me not…
So, what happens if you’re still not sure?
Let’s face it, men can be hard to read. He might not even know himself! Or he might be in denial about the way he feels.
Men don’t tend to be as in tune with their feelings as us women.
Trust your gut and hang in there. Start looking out for the signs mentioned in this article. Even if he isn’t sure about how he feels, his actions will speak far louder than any words.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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