When it comes to dating, texting first can be a nerve-wracking experience.
Even if you know the guy likes you and that there’s a good chance he will reply, sending the first message is never an easy task.
Luckily for you, we’ve compiled the 12 reasons why guys love it when you text first. Keep this list in your back pocket and you won’t ever have to worry about picking up the phone again!
12 reasons why guys love it when you text first
1) It boosts his confidence
If you are the one to text him first, he will likely feel more confident in himself and his abilities as a man.
The fact that you’ve taken the initiative to contact him has given him a sense of internal approval — which will only make him more eager to respond and start the conversation.
Here’s the secret:
You can also increase your chances of getting a response by showing your interest in him in the first place.
End each text with a question designed to get his attention, rather than simply asking him to reply.
For example, instead of asking “what are you up to tonight?”, try something like: “why don’t you come over and watch a movie with me?” or even “so what’s on the agenda for tonight – maybe we could go out for pizza?”.
2) It makes him feel more masculine
There is something about the feeling of being chased that is exclusively masculine.
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men enjoy the feeling of being chased because it increases their feelings of masculinity, which is important to them.
Also, studies have shown that women find men more attractive when they are aware that those around them desire their attention.
So don’t be afraid to put in a little extra effort and make the first move — it will impress him and increase his attraction to you.
3) It can be a form of flirtation
Have you ever wondered why guys like it when you text first?
Well, there’s a really good explanation for it. The fact that you’re making the first move is actually a form of flirting.
But the key is how to do it in a more subtle way that doesn’t make you look as though you’re trying too hard.
Here’s what you must do to flirt and text at the same time:
Start off your text with a question that doesn’t require a verbal reply, like “do you have plans this weekend?” or “what are you up to tonight?”
Then follow it up with something more personal and interesting, but still not too personal.
4) Guys like to know they have options
Why do men like to get the first text?
Because it means you considered him a potential option, even though you didn’t have to.
Also, there’s a big difference between being faithful and being obsessed.
Women are naturally prone to being incredibly jealous, therefore it can make us overthink things, which can potentially ruin our relationships.
However, men are naturally quite delicate when it comes to things like this. They tend to take the approach of “well, you have options that I don’t”.
And because they know this, they won’t be easily offended – which means you’ll probably be more likely to get a reply.
5) He doesn’t have to worry about making the next move
Trust me, guys are not big fans of being put on the spot.
If you’ve made the first move for him, he won’t be pressured to do so himself and he will feel more comfortable responding.
By putting yourself out there and initiating the conversation, you’ll eliminate the awkwardness that sometimes comes with texting a guy — which is something he will definitely appreciate.
But wait, there’s more!
There are other signs that show he’s interested in you if you text him first:
- The guy replies quickly.
- He keeps the conversation going for a long time (ideally for a few hours or even days).
- He asks you questions about your life instead of focusing on himself.
- He starts saying things that are similar to what you said in previous messages.
- He sends you a lot of smiley and heart icons.
So, next time you’re about to text a guy and you aren’t sure whether or not he’ll like it if you make the first move, just be confident in what you’re doing and you’re sure to see a response.
Don’t wait for him to text you if he’s interested! Go ahead, put yourself out there first and see what happens. Just remember to be courteous and respectful when initiating contact so that he doesn’t completely “ghost” you after responding once.
6) He likes being taken out of his comfort zone
The fact that you’re making the first move will not only make him feel more masculine, but it will also take him out of his comfy little zone.
Which is something many guys enjoy because they get to experience something new, even if it’s just for a minute.
Because women tend to wait for guys to make the first move, they can often feel a bit deprived and want more. However, when you do it yourself, you can feel like a pioneer who is discovering something new and exciting.
Try to take things slow the first time you text him. Don’t turn the conversation into a big competition or show him that you’re clearly obsessed with him and want him to respond as fast as possible.
Take it easy, focus on having an interesting conversation and let things flow naturally. By doing this, you will genuinely enjoy your communication and you’ll be more interested in what he has to say. While at the same time, he’ll feel more comfortable responding to you again when you text next time.
7) It makes him feel wanted
Have you ever noticed that most guys are much more open to communicating with more than one woman?
Something like: “Hey, you seem interesting and I’d love to talk to you some more. Do you have a Facebook?”
This is because most men are quite confident and don’t care about being rejected by the majority of women they meet. They feel like they have a lot going on in their life, so getting rejected by some girl won’t affect them that much.
However, the truth is that men still like getting a bit of attention from as many women as possible. It makes them feel wanted and appreciated by others. And when you’re the first to pay attention to them, they will definitely feel appreciated.
8) It shows that you’re trying to make a connection with him
As we’ve mentioned before, women hesitate more than men to make the first move and try to get things started.
In fact, one of the main reasons is that they don’t want to come off as overeager or desperate.
Yet, when you text a guy first you’re trying to connect with him on a deeper level.
This means that you are more interested than ever in potentially meeting up with him or even just talking again.
It’s as if you’re saying: “Hey, I’m trying to connect with you, so here I am texting you.”
If that doesn’t make him feel special, I don’t know what does.
But hold on!
There are a few more things you should avoid when you initiate contact:
- Don’t be too straightforward. You don’t want to come off as desperate, you just want to show him a clear interest. Therefore, try to do something different or unique each time you text him and keep things fresh.
- Don’t be cocky or sarcastic. There’s nothing more unattractive than a woman who acts like she’s God’s gift to men, so don’t do that.
- Don’t overdo it. Notice I said, “overdo it.” Instead, try to always be a bit subtle with your texts.
- Practice online. This will help you gauge how much to text without making him feel too pressured.
- Don’t lead the conversation. If he answers your text, don’t immediately jump in and start talking to him about yourself. He will most likely respond if he finds you interesting enough to do so, but sometimes that doesn’t happen.
- Don’t be too forward. Guys are usually more comfortable with women who use coy and indirect ways of getting to know them.
So, next time you want to text a guy, just try to do something different and see what happens. I’m sure that he’ll feel the same way about you as well!
9 He likes seeing a girl’s true feelings for him
When you want to take the initiative and text a guy first, it shows that you are very interested in him. And because men love women who aren’t afraid of showing how they feel, they will like the fact that you initiated contact.
In addition, when you tell him something personal about yourself or even joke around with him, he will feel more comfortable with your personality and show his true self to you as well.
In other words, if you initiate a text conversation with him and joke around with him, he will think:
“Wow, this girl’s very funny. She can make some funny jokes. I hope we end up having a good time when we meet.”
On the other hand, if you tend to be more serious and don’t tell him much about yourself during the first contact, he will get the impression that you’re not interested in him or maybe even shy around him.
10 He’ll feel like he has the upper hand
It’s true that men always want to feel like they are in control of the situation.
So if you initiate contact with him and make it clear that you’re interested in him, he will feel as though he’s on top of things because he has more power in the situation.
But don’t misunderstand, this doesn’t mean that men enjoy being jerks and have no respect for women at all. People like to be valued.
Therefore, if you show him that he’s a special guy for you and that you’re interested in him, he will definitely appreciate that.
If you do it correctly, he will feel special and wanted by you. And knowing that he has the upper hand in the conversation, won’t make him feel uncomfortable or overpowered at all.
You might wonder how to know when it’s a good time to text him. There are several situations where you should always be the one to reach out:
- When he wants to know more about you.
- When you want to set up a date or get to know him better, but he’s being slow.
- In case you want to tell him something important, but he never texts first.
- When you feel the conversation is getting stale and needs a spark of excitement again.
Whatever your reason is, you must always try to make the first move if you want to get things started with a guy. And most importantly, don’t let your insecurities about approaching men stop you from doing so.
11) It’s a good way to break the ice
Breaking the ice is one of the most difficult things to do when you first meet someone.
You can get in a few good jokes and share some laughs. You can even keep up a conversation for a bit, but eventually, it will fizzle out because you’re both not hitting it off too well.
This is usually due to the fact that neither of you feels comfortable enough with each other yet to fully open up or let yourself go in the conversation.
12) He can fantasize about a relationship with her
After you text him first and start talking to him, he will most likely think “Wow! This girl is really interested in me. Maybe I should take her out on a date and see what happens.”
But that’s not all he’ll think about.
He’ll also be dreaming about getting to know you more intimately and even imagine having a romantic relationship with the girl who directed this approach to him.
In other words, you will have planted the first seed in his mind to build a relationship with you. Now it’s up to him to act on it and make something out of it.
It gets better if you add more than a casual internet friendship with him. That way, he will find out that you’re more than just a friend and dream of getting to know you more thoroughly.
That’s why it’s so important to put the first step in motion.
No matter how much he may try to resist, he’ll get drawn in by some of the simple yet effective things that you can do to keep him interested in you and make him fall for you:
- Being nice to him.
- Showing interest in what he has to say.
- Posting a flattering picture of yourself and throwing in a few compliments here and there.
- Keeping conversations going when he texts you first.
- Asking him questions about himself and showing genuine interest in who he is.
Don’t let this opportunity slip by without seizing it!
Hopefully, this article has given you 12 reasons why it’s important to text a guy first.
And you don’t need me to tell you that if you want to get into the dating game and be successful, it’s very important to know how to approach men and keep them interested in you.
The best thing about using this method is that you don’t have to put any effort in creating a good first impression for him. Instead, it’s all about giving him the opportunity to create one.
This way, you can focus on your own strengths and turn any first meeting into a good one without him having to work too hard.
Now that you have the most effective ways to text a guy first and some important tips, you can use this information to start dating right away and take the next steps towards getting your dream guy.
You don’t have to wait another minute!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.