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Are you involved in a friends-with-benefits relationship?
If you are, then you might feel a little confused about which guidelines to follow.
According to the rules, it seems that friends with benefits are not supposed to talk every day.
In fact, they’re not supposed to do a lot of things. But, what if you two already talk every day? Does that mean anything?
All these questions may be running through your mind right now. Luckily, I have the answers.
So, let’s begin!
Are friends with benefits supposed to talk every day?
The rules of the FWB relationship clearly state that you should not talk every day.
The reason?
If you really want to understand why talking every day isn’t recommended, let’s take a closer look at what being in an FWB relationship really means.
A friends-with-benefits relationship is defined as a casual relationship between two people who don’t want to date each other, commit to each other, or simply stay friends but who are interested in having sex with each other.
So, if sexual satisfaction is the goal here, then keeping in touch every day is pointless. It’s not like you’re going to talk about your feelings, plans for the future, or anything personal.
In fact, that’s another thing you’re not supposed to do in an FWB relationship. Why?
Attachment must be avoided at all costs. FBW relationships are known for their main characteristic: having fun with no strings attached.
Therefore, unless you want to get hurt, it would be a big mistake to get attached to your friend with benefits.
So, if you talk every day, it could lead to attachment. And that’s something you must run from.
But, what if your FWB wants to talk every day?
7 reasons your friend with benefits talks to you every day
Is your FWB unaware of the rules? Or, is there more meaning behind his or her behavior?
Let’s find out!
1) They need you to be their friend
Reason number 1 should make you ask yourself the following questions:
Does he/she have any friends? – In case they don’t, then maybe they are lonely and they want to talk to someone.
But, how can you tell for sure? Ask yourself the next question:
What do you talk about? – In case they don’t talk about anything personal, then they just want to have someone to chat with.
Examples of topics you might talk about are things like what’s on TV, sports, or the weather. Or, neutral topics in general, such as food, movies, museums, or shopping.
2) They have strong feelings for you and they think you don’t feel the same way
Most FWB relationships are casual since the people in them don’t want to start a serious relationship with each other.
However, things can change. Some people involved in an FWB relationship can get involved with each other emotionally. And that’s what could happen to him/her.
Maybe they’re catching feelings for you and they don’t think you feel the same way about them. Why would they, right?
So, it’s only natural for them to continue being in an FWB relationship with you, but at the same time, to try and stay in touch every day, secretly hoping that something will change.
3) They are playing games with you
So, let’s see if you can spot the truth in this:
- They send you texts every day for a week and then they go completely silent.
- They talk to you every day to tell you about their dates, trying to make you jealous.
- They want to keep you hooked by giving you a little attention every day.
The point here is that their behavior is dishonest and their true intentions are not clear.
In short, they’re trying to keep your interest piqued and make you want to know more about them. But why?
The answer is simple: they are insecure. They want to make sure you’re interested enough and that you care about them.
So, they act like they’re not interested in you when they actually are.
4) They have a high sexual desire
Want to know another reason your friend with benefits talks to you every day?
Warning: This point works only if all they talk about is sex.
Your FBW may want to talk to you every day because they have a high libido.
Maybe you two can’t meet up every day. So, talking about sex can be a great replacement. They can share their fantasies and find out about yours.
Also, maybe they ask you for sexy pictures every day. In this situation, I can’t see a reason why they wouldn’t want to talk to you every day.
However, if this is the reason, beware because they might gradually change their behavior as time goes by and their interests change.
5) They don’t know why either
Listen, I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s true.
Your FBW may not have a clear reason in his/her head when they approach you daily. Maybe they just act out of impulse.
Maybe they don’t even think about their actions. Maybe they don’t have any clue about their own motives.
While this might be no consolation to you, this reason is as valid as any other.
His or her indecisiveness could tell you that deep down, he or she feels something towards you that they don’t want to admit.
6) She can’t get enough of listening to you
Guys, this point is exclusively for you.
Your FWB could be talking to you every day because she can’t get enough of listening to you. You see, women love great conversationalists. And, before realizing it, they could fall for them.
7) You two didn’t talk about boundaries
The main reason that two people in an FWB relationship talk to each other every day is that they fail to set clear boundaries.
Setting clear boundaries is important in every relationship, and yours is no exception.
In fact, you need to establish boundaries so that nobody gets hurt.
Setting boundaries means taking a step back from the relationship and saying: “Wait a minute! I’m not ready for this.” And that’s hard for many people.
However, if you find yourself in this situation, you have to say no.
You have to recognize signs that things are getting out of hand and choose to set boundaries.
How do you tell if your friend with benefits is falling for you?
For starters, if your friend with benefits talks to you every day, then he/she might be falling for you.
The surprising truth is that you can never be certain about somebody’s feelings for you.
So, if your friend with benefits talks to you every day, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have a crush on you. But, there are other signs that will tell you if they’re falling for you.
The signs are:
1) They start to open up to you more and more
Has your FWB started to share his or her dirty little secrets with you?
In that case, be aware: it might be a sign that they want to get closer to you.
If that’s not what you want, make sure to tell them to stop and keep things as they are.
2) He acts very protectively of you
Ladies, pay attention to this sign.
If your FWB starts to act overprotective of you, he might be falling for you.
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to want to be more than friends with benefits.
3) They want to hang out without having sex
Has your FWB started to ask you to hang out without wanting to have sex? If that’s the case, it might be that they want to spend more time with you. In fact, they might have a crush on you.
Or, has he or she started to ask you to do both?
Well, this sounds like a real relationship to me!
4) They start to show more affection towards you
Want to know another sign that your FWB could be falling for you?
If your friend with benefits starts to show affection for you, it’s a sign.
You see, when people fall for someone, they want to express their love somehow. And that’s what they do. They start to express their love towards the person through body language and gestures.
Examples are:
- Kissing you on the lips;
- Placing their hand on your thigh;
- Holding your hand.
5) They are more open in general
Yes, this is one of the reasons why they may start talking to you every day: they wish to share with you every aspect of their life.
For example, if your friend with benefits started to talk about taking a walk with you in the park without any ulterior motive, it might be that they have fallen for you.
Or, has he or she started to talk about seeing a movie together? Maybe they just want to hang out with you, right? Wrong!
However, if this is the case, it means that your friend with benefits is no longer acting as one. He or she behaves as if you’re in a relationship.
6) They suddenly want to spend the night together
Want to know another rule for being in a friends-with-benefits relationship?
Don’t spend the night together! So what if they suddenly want to?
Well, their wish could be a sign that they are falling for you. However, if this is what you want, then it’s a great sign.
Why is spending the night together not recommended for FWB?
The psychological explanation goes like this:
Feelings of attachment will come to the surface if the two people spend a night together. And, this will make it harder for them to stay away from each other.
You see, occasionally spending the night together with your FWB can be fine. But, doing it on a regular basis can cause problems in your relationship and also make you fall for each other.
7) It feels like they make love to you, not sex
Is there really a difference between having sex and making love?
Numerous sex coaches say there is!
In short, when two people make love, they are more affectionate with each other. Also, they tend to behave in a tender and gentle way.
And now comes the question: if your friend with benefits treats you in a tender and gentle way, is it possible that they’re falling for you?
The answer is yes. However, if you want to know for sure, then you need to pay attention to your future sexual encounters.
Don’t jump to conclusions unless you see constant change. Otherwise, this could be simply related to his/her mood.
What happens if you and your friend with benefits talk every day?
The surprising truth is:
Things could go in more than one direction. In fact, I can think of 4 more or less positive outcomes.
Here they are:
The first outcome? There’s a chance that your relationship could end.
You might be the only one catching feelings, while they might not be ready for a relationship. This means there’s a chance that your relationship could end.
The same goes if it’s the other way around.
The second outcome? You could end up in a relationship. You see, when you start to talk every day, then your relationship becomes more serious.
So, if your friend with benefits starts talking to you every day, be aware of this fact: it’s possible that they are falling for you. However, if what you want is an FWB relationship, don’t play with fire.
You may want to keep things as they are and not let them get too serious.
The third outcome? You could find out that you don’t like each other and just stick to the sex.
Look, although you’re physically attracted to this person, this doesn’t mean that you’re compatible and that you could really go into a relationship. Sometimes, people just don’t click as friends. They have different interests, and not so many things in common.
And if this is the case with you and your friend with benefits, then it won’t work out.
And finally, the fourth outcome? You and your friend with benefits will share an intimate moment. And even though you’re not looking for love, it could happen anyway because you’re spending a lot of time talking.
But then again, if you don’t want to fall for this person and have a successful FWB relationship, you need to give it some time in between the talking. This will keep things casual.
Do friends with benefits cuddle?
Cuddling may seem like an inoffensive form of affection. But, in fact, it promotes closeness, which is definitely not what you want in a friends-with-benefits relationship.
So, what is cuddling, really?
Cuddling is a form of physical touch. It’s not a sexual kind of touch as friends can cuddle too.
However, cuddling consists of the interaction between two people’s bodies to promote closeness and intimacy, or comfort.
Moreover, it often refers to an intimate connection, and it can help make a person feel loved because they are getting the warmth and affection they need.
Let me stop you right here! Giving/getting warmth and affection are not usually part of an FWB relationship.
Think about it – if two people do this, they may start to feel emotional, and before they know it, they are clearly in love.
So why shouldn’t friends with benefits cuddle? If two people cuddle, they will start to connect at an emotional level.
So, if you want to keep things casual, then you need to avoid cuddling at all costs.
However, if your friend with benefits does want to cuddle with you and make things more serious, it’s not always bad news. It really depends on what you want.
How often do friends with benefits see each other?
Research shows that people who are in a friends-with-benefits relationship usually see each other once a week.
Even so, there are exceptions to the rule. Most often, people who are in an FWB relationship see each other whenever they can.
They aren’t really constant or consistent in their relationship. Why?
Because in a way, that’s what a no-strings-attached relationship is about. More specifically, it’s about being able to feel good and enjoy yourself without having to worry about anything else.
Do friends with benefits end up together?
As you’ve just read above, friends with benefits usually don’t end up together because it’s not what friends-with-benefits relationships are about.
However, that doesn’t mean that sometimes it doesn’t happen. Yes, there are friends with benefits who end up together. And they’re pretty happy with their relationship.
The fact is: Although very few friends with benefits become couples, there are some cases where this happens.
Do friends with benefits that talk every day end up together?
Unsurprisingly enough, when friends with benefits talk every day, their chances of ending up together increase.
How so?
Well, first of all, if they talk a lot, it means that they really enjoy spending time with each other. Also, it means that they are willing to invest more in their relationship.
How do I stop having feelings for my FWB?
Now, if you want to keep things casual, then it’s a good idea to put some distance between you and your friend with benefits.
What does this mean?
This means that you should stop spending time together or keep the interactions between you to a minimum. This way, your feelings won’t develop further, which could ruin everything.
However, if it’s too late for that – there are other things you can try out.
For example, you can:
- Ask your friend with benefits to take a break.
- Ask him or her not to talk every day.
- Start seeing other people.
The main idea is to avoid spending too much time with this person. Try to detach yourself from them by spending less time with them.
Just put some time between your interactions and focus on other things besides them. This way, you will gradually stop having feelings for them.
Friends with benefits don’t talk every day. What now?
Friends with benefits don’t talk every day. But, if you’re a woman and you want something more from the man you have an FWB relationship with, I can help you out.
In fact, relationship expert James Bauer can help you out.
According to him, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. What’s more, what they need has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with their Hero Instinct.
The truth is, once you understand how it works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. Talking every day could be just the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So if you want to give him what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
