You met someone. Had an instant connection. Perhaps things got hot and heavy rather quickly. Or not.
You start to look into his online world and persona to try to get to know him more. And you notice that he follows you too.
You see he watches your stories, makes comments on your photos, and likes your posts.
But one day this online attention quickly drops.
You notice that he stopped following you or even unfriended you. You might still see one another, go on dates, or be friends.
So what happened? Why would someone unfollow you on social media?
I’m going to break down 10 reasons why someone might stop following you.
Read on to see if you’ve been left in the dark by any of these circumstances.
1) It could be unintentional
Think of it like this: you follow someone on social media and then they suddenly stop following you. You question whether or not they’re still your friend. But you have no idea.
He could have unfollowed you unintentionally. We aren’t all great with technology. He could have changed phones, pushed a button without thinking about it too much, or maybe the person is just really busy and has no time for social media anymore.
The list goes on and on.
He might have decided that he wanted to keep your interactions in real-life exchanges. When you don’t know the reason why it’s easy to speculate. But this can be counterproductive.
The reasons for unfollowing someone from the digital world are plentiful, so don’t take it personally if this has happened to you or one of your contacts. Just chalk it up to human behavior and move on with life.
2) He is upset or seeking revenge
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
– Steve Maraboli
Did you post an embarrassing picture of your friend online?
Did you share a video of him talking about his most embarrassing moment?
Did you say something rude? Maybe your last post was a little too harsh, and now they have unfollowed you as punishment.
If your online friend was feeling slighted by this, he may have unfollowed you as a form of revenge because he doesn’t want to interact with you much anymore.
For example, if someone posts upsetting or sad images on social media, it could be because they are trying to bring attention to themselves. And this isn’t always attractive.
He might think that you are posting images that bring him down or harm his reputation in some way and don’t want to be a part of it.
If you think that you may have upset him with a post, you can bring it up in a conversation.
If you ever want to get back into the best graces of someone you’ve wronged on social media, it’s best to apologize and move on from there.
This will give them a chance to re-follow you to keep up with any future updates that you might make.
3) He’s following you with a different account
If you’ve been following someone for a long time and they suddenly stop following you back, there may be an underlying reason.
One of the most common is that they unfollowed you to follow the same content.
It’s not uncommon for people to have several social media accounts with different interests.
For instance, someone might have a Facebook account with their family and friends and another Facebook account for work or hobbies.
If you follow them on the account where they post their family content and they want to follow some new cool people, it’s less likely that they will follow you back on their other account if they are planning to only use it for work purposes.
Some men like to have some anonymity online so that they can post freely, like content without being questioned, and make provocative comments on people’s feeds.
So, he might have unfollowed you with one account and been watching and interacting with you on another.
4) He has privacy issues
Privacy issues are among the top reasons why someone might unfollow you on social media.
There’s a chance that he might not be comfortable with strangers, lovers, friends, or work colleagues following him and vice versa.
If he doesn’t know you well, he might be uncomfortable with sharing his posts and personal information with a stranger. And probably hasn’t figured out how to make his account into a private account just yet.
Another reason for unfollowing someone on social media is if they’re simply not interested in what you have to say online.
A person may unfollow you if your interests don’t align with theirs. He might see another part of you that he wasn’t expecting.
For example, if you post about politics and he has different political outlooks or only cares about fitness and sports, he may not want to see your posts anymore.
In the case of other social media platforms, there are also some reasons why someone might unfollow you.
On Facebook, if you post too much about your personal life or status updates that aren’t interesting to others, they might not want to see it anymore.
In some cases, they may even like your posts but can’t bear to see them every time they get on their Facebook feed.
It’s possible that he just doesn’t like your page and finds it boring. He might find that the content you share on your page isn’t interesting enough for him to read or watch.
5) He changed his profile
Another reason why a man might unfollow you on social media can be that he changed his profile.
Sometimes people take one new profile when they change their companies, jobs, or go through major changes in their life and they want a fresh start. This is a difficult situation to be in.
Maybe he doesn’t want you around his new life, or maybe he just wants time and space to find himself again.
Whatever the reasoning was for unfollowing, it’s best not to question him about why he did what he did because that might lead to a hopeless conversation or an argument- even though we all have our doubts as human beings.
The best thing is to take some time for yourself too—maybe this break will give both of you clarity on your relationship status with each other and how things should go from here on out after taking some introspection time separately.
If you were still actively following him, this might be a reason why they unfollowed you.
If he changed his profile to private, and you’re not one of their Facebook friends, this could be another reason.
6) He unfollowed you because he doesn’t want to see your posts
“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
– Nicholas Sparks
One of the most common reasons people unfollow someone is that they’ve grown tired of seeing their posts.
You know the feeling: you follow someone because you enjoy their content, but then they post something that doesn’t align with your personal views, or it’s simply not what you’re into anymore.
You might post one too many images of your dog, cup of coffee, or new yoga posture and he might lose interest in having that come up in his feed. If this person does this often enough, it might be time to unfollow them on social media.
It can be hard to keep up with a large number of accounts we follow on social media and scrolling through our feed can feel like a chore when we see something we’re not interested in.
It’s much easier to simply stop following a person when they start posting things you don’t want to see.
Maybe he might reconnect and follow you again, but it isn’t a priority at the moment.
7) You’re trying to sell too much on social media
If your social media feed is full of products that you are promoting for companies or items that you make and sell yourself, he may not want to follow anymore.
A social media feed that is solely about company promotion can be extremely annoying for other followers.
The more a person posts, the less interested in the content they will become. It’s important to have some balance and post things of your own interests as well, so as not to come across as only promoting what you sell or make with no personal touch whatsoever.
He may not be interested in the courses you offer or the business that you are running.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you as a person, but he might ask himself, “Why is this person always trying to sell me something?”
He might think you’re just using them to gain a sale or to increase your influencer audience.
You might have a big following, but if your followers are not interested in you or your posts, they will unsubscribe and unfollow you. Don’t worry; there are other people who might love what you post and want to be a part of it.
8) He’s girlfriend or wife questioned him about you
It’s easy to scroll through someone’s public social media feed and see who is interacting with them online.
His girlfriend or partner may have snooped around who he is following and questioned him on his relationship with you. She might have even gone into this phone and unfollowed him.
We never know what’s going on in the personal lives of the people we meet. He might be with someone who feels insecure or possessive or jealous.
It’s not our responsibility to know.
What we see is what we get and it doesn’t matter if there’s something going on in the background that has nothing to do with us or whatever he might be experiencing as long as you are happy together then everything else is irrelevant.
If he was challenged by his partner, he might have unfollowed you to show where his loyalty lies, that he is not attracted to you and to clear up any confusion with his partner.
You can’t know for sure. So, it’s probably time to mentally move on.
9) His account was suspended
One reason why someone might unfollow you is that their account has been suspended.
Social media sites like Facebook and Instagram can be easily hacked. The person whose account was hacked will be unable to access it. This is known as suspension.
In this scenario, the person who had their account suspended might not even know that they’ve unfollowed you.
When they regain access to their account and see that they’ve unfollowed you, they may want to re-follow you.
It does happen, so again, when you notice that he unfollows you, try not to jump to any conclusions right away.
10) He doesn’t want to be in your life
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
– Deborah Reber
A hard reason to accept that he isn’t following you on social media anymore is that he is slowly extracting himself from your life. Or he could be straight up ghosting you.
Perhaps you had a fling, or a short relationship and his feelings towards you have changed. He might have been really into getting to know you and your world on social media but is not more interested in someone else.
Having you show up on his feed reminds him that you were someone in his life and his feelings have changed.
This might make him feel painful memories or indifferent to you and he wants to move on with his life.
So he could unfollow you so that he doesn’t have to be reminded of you or think of any memories that the two of you had. It’s easier to block, avoid and not confront someone who you don’t want to be around.
Again, try not to take this too personally. We all have ways that we try to move forward in life and we may not be the most gracious or considerate about it. Just take it for what it is and move on with your life as well.
This can be a tough one to get through, but you have to understand that everyone is trying their best.
You may not like the way they are going about it or how they do things, but try and appreciate them for who they are and what motivates them.
You needn’t agree with someone in order to still care about them as an individual human being–even if we all have room for improvement at times.
He unfollowed me – does it matter?
Ladies, we all want to feel loved and accepted. Sometimes social media can give us a false sense of purpose and self-worth.
When someone likes our posts or we gain more followers it can make us feel important. But is this really what is going on?
The problem with social media is that we are trying to show how happy and glorious our lives are. This can be a dangerous road to go down. We are trying to show that we are living our best life and becoming a “better version” of ourselves.
You might come across this quite a bit online. Fake gurus, life coaches, and influencers are trying to make you feel like their life is amazing. Like they have it all figured out.
They want you to meditate, radiate “positive vibrations” and visualize the life of your dreams. They say this will make it come true.
Here’s the crazy thing:
Visualization and positive vibes won’t bring you closer to your dreams, and they can drag you backward into time-wasting, idle fantasy, and frustration.
But it’s hard to feel empowered and vibrant when you put too much emphasis on the online world. Like, when you’re being hit with so many Instagram influencers telling you how a special kind of yoga, diet, or incense will transform your life.
You can end up trying so hard and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.
You want solutions, but all you’re being told is to create a perfect utopia inside your mind. It doesn’t work.
I want you to turn off all the noise for a second and get back to absolute basics.
What are you here for?
Are you here to have a beautiful Instagram account?
Before you can experience a real change, you need to know your life purpose.
I learned about the power of purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.
Justin used to be addicted to the self-help industry and New Age gurus, who sold him on visualization and positive thinking. It left him lost and confused.
That’s why he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, who taught him a life-changing new way to find your purpose and use it to transform your life and everything around you.
After watching the video, I discovered my purpose in life and it completely busted through the issues I was having with loneliness and feeling useless. This new way of finding success by finding your purpose helped me to [connect the pitch with the problem the reader is facing].
It’s something to consider. Start looking deeper into why you care if someone is following you on social media or not. Get in and explore your mind and inner state some more.
So now what?
Remember that it’s normal for people to unfollow others on social media for all sorts of reasons. Don’t panic. It happens to us all.
If you notice that someone has unfollowed you, there are several reasons why it could have happened.
Reasons like: he lost interest in your online postings, he’s into someone else, he wants to avoid any potential drama, or he might have just been hacked.
You can always reach out to the person in question and see if they’ve had any issues with their account or if they feel like they’re not interested in what you post anymore.
Or not bring it up, because at the end of the day, does it matter?
In the meantime, don’t worry too much about who is following and unfollowing you online. Just continue to post relevant content that is interesting and engaging.
Do it because you like it. Not because you are trying to impress anyone or gain anything from it.
In the meantime, enjoy the moments you have. Especially the ones you are too busy to take photos of and post!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.