Dating someone with a kid in your 20s: Is it worth it? 10 things you need to know

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

In today’s world, dating someone in your 20s is a pretty reasonable option.

You have the opportunity to learn about yourself and find a partner who can share your interests. But did you know there are some things you need to consider before dating someone in your 20s?

On the one hand, you have the option of finding someone who is intelligent and interesting, someone who will make you laugh and who will appreciate your life.

On the other hand, if you’re not ready for kids yet or if your partner is already a parent, there’s a risk that the relationship won’t work out. 

Want to find out whether it is worth it?

Here are 10 things you should know before making this decision.

1) You might not be ready for a full-blown relationship yet

What kind of relationships do you like in general? Is it a relationship that is long-term and serious?

Or do you prefer to have a more casual relationship, where you can go out with friends and relax while still being close? 

If you don’t know what kind of relationship you are looking for, dating someone might not be the best choice right now. You might not be mature enough to handle the pressure of having to find the right person.

And if your partner is already a parent, it could complicate things even more. If your partner has kids, they will have their own ideas about what they want their family to look like. You need to be ready for them and understand how much time they can give you.

Let’s be honest.

If your partner has a kid, they will have their own ideas about what they want their family to look like. You need to be ready for them and understand how much time they can give you.

And are you ready to be a parent? 

Don’t even try to deny it. If you haven’t thought about having kids yet, you might want to think about it first. If you’re not ready, it will be difficult to make a relationship work. 

So before dating someone in your 20s, think about whether you are ready to start a family and whether you are mature enough for it. 

2) People around you might not understand your decision

Have you ever wondered what your family members would think if they knew that you were going out with someone in your 20s?

Most people will not understand your decision to date someone who is younger than you. And it might not be easy for them to accept it. 

They might think that you’re too young to have a partner and be happy with him. If you have a family, they might think that the relationship isn’t serious enough because of the age difference. But if they know that you are happy – and are committed – they will probably accept it.

The simple truth is, family members and friends will not be happy that you are dating someone when they think that the person is still too young to have a serious relationship. They will probably tell you to wait, and they might even try to influence your decision. 

But if you don’t listen to them, they might cause problems for both of you. 

So if you are dating someone in your 20s, don’t pay attention to what people around you think about it. Not everyone will understand; some people will definitely be against it and try to get in the way. 

But hang on a minute. Do you know what I’m tired of hearing?

That we have to consider social norms before we make decisions regarding our personal lives.

But what if you could change the way you approach relationships for good? What if you could find the type of love you know you deserve? 

Well, to achieve this, you’ve first got to reconstruct your reality and the relationship you have with yourself. Only then will your love life stand a chance of succeeding.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.

A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.

He’s not going to tell you that everything will be alright. Nor will he sprout meaningless positivity solely aimed at comforting you.

Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards. You’re going to face the real you and get to know that person much better. 

It’s a powerful approach, but one that works, especially if you want to revolutionize your relationships with others. 

If you think you’re up for the challenge, if you’re ready to find the love you deserve, there’s no better time to start than today.

Here’s a link to the free video again

3) You need to be prepared for jealousy in your relationship

Everybody… and I mean everybody, has a desire to be loved and accepted.

Even though this is our natural state, we often have a hard time accepting it because of the way our society has been conditioned.

We’re taught from an early age that we must always be strong and independent. We get bullied for being too emotional, or for being too weak to cope with the world.

As a result of these social attitudes, we learn to bury our emotions and hide behind walls of denial. 

Why am I saying this?

Because the thing that you’re looking for in a relationship is to be loved and to feel special.

But if you’re planning to date someone with a kid, you might feel jealous instead. And guess what?

Jealousy is one of the strongest emotions that a person can experience, and it’s associated with a wide range of negative feelings and thoughts.

It’s like a wild animal that’s out of control. You can’t reason with it or ignore it because it’ll just cause more damage in the long run. It will only perpetuate itself until you come face to face with its dark side.

So if you’re thinking about getting into a relationship with a child, you must prepare for jealousy.

Now you may think it’s a bit funny because you can’t possibly be jealous of a kid, but trust me, you’ll be. And the thing is, there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll feel it and you’ll want to get rid of it, but you can’t. 

That’s why you must learn to control it because if you don’t, it will eat you alive. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then I suggest that you rethink your decision to date someone with a kid. 

4) You need to know how long your relationship is going to last

Will the relationship last?

That’s a question you should ask yourself as soon as possible if you’re planning to date someone with a kid in your 20s.

  • Will the added responsibilities of raising a young child change the way you feel about your partner?
  • Will it be enough time for you to get through college and find a career?
  • Will this relationship reach its expiration date?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you shouldn’t waste your time with someone who has a kid.

Because it’s not worth it.

It’s okay to want to be in love all the time, but you don’t want to put up with someone who doesn’t have the same priorities as you do. 

You love yourself and you don’t want to settle for a person who doesn’t love themselves enough. You do not want to compromise on your values and priorities just because you have a child.

I know what you’re thinking.

You can’t eventually determine how long your relationship with a child is going to last. It just doesn’t work that way. But I’m going to tell you why it does. 

We often make the mistake of assuming that we can predict how long our relationships are going to last because we believe in the myth of eternal love.

We keep on believing this myth for a reason: because it’s comforting and we want to believe it because it makes us feel good inside.

But what we’re not aware of is that this myth has a major drawback: it makes us complacent and blindfolded when it comes to finding the love we deserve in our lives.

When you’re trying to find the love you deserve, you’re not going to settle for a person who has a kid.

You want to be in love forever and ever. But this is not always the case when you’re looking for someone who has a kid. 

5) You might not be able to handle parenting someone else’s child

Can you handle parenthood?

Believe it or not, being a parent in your 20s is tough. But being the parent of someone else’s kid is even harder.

If you’re planning to date someone who has a kid, you might have to ask yourself the following question:

Can you handle parenting someone else’s child?

If you can’t, then why are you considering dating someone who has a kid?

You might be more concerned with the fact that they have a kid than with the fact that they have a kid.

Because it’s not just about the fact that they have their own child. It’s also about the fact that they’re going to be parenting someone else’s child. And this is something you might not be able to handle.

It’s okay if you don’t want to handle parenthood. It’s okay if you’re scared of being in charge of someone else’s kid. But it’s not okay if your fear of parenthood prevents you from being in love with someone who has a kid.

But if you feel you’re ready to share your love with someone who has a kid, then don’t be afraid to make this decision and go for it.

6) You may still have some growing to do

Ever wondered how your life will change when you have a strong relationship with someone who has a kid?

It’s going to change. But maybe not in the way you think it will.

If you’re thinking about dating someone who has a kid, then I’m pretty sure you’re already aware of how their life is going to change when they have a kid.

You know that their world is going to change dramatically once they have a child in their life. You know that they’ll have to make some major changes in order to accommodate a new person into their life.

But what if I told you that these changes might be even more drastic than what you think?

Why do I say this?

The reason is that you might still have some growing to do. After all, you’re just starting out in life. You’re in your 20s! You’re still a kid yourself, and you might need some time to adjust to a new life as an adult.

I know the feeling. I don’t know about you, but I’m still adjusting to being an adult. And I can tell you that it’s not easy at all!

I’m sure that it’s going to be harder for your partner when they have a kid. You might have to adjust your lifestyle in order for the both of you to be able to manage the way things are going.

You may get used to having someone else in your life, but it’s not guaranteed that things will go smoothly. You might end up having some growing pains while dealing with someone else’s child. And this is something you and your partner might not be able to handle. 

But maybe you need to take a different approach to your relationship.

Maybe you need to work on the most important one you’ll ever have before you can fix the others:

The one you have with yourself. 

I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his excellent, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, Rudá reveals where most of us go wrong in our relationships. 

So why should you listen to Rudá’s life-changing advice? 

Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s made the same mistakes in love that you and I have.

And now he’s found the solution, he wants to share it with you.

So if you’re done with feeling less than worthy, if you’re tired of toxic relationships, and you want to cultivate real, genuine love, check out his simple yet effective advice.

Click here to watch the free video

7) You will have to hear a lot about your partner’s ex

Let’s face it. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has a kid, you’re probably going to hear a lot about their ex.

Maybe they got a divorce, or maybe they stayed together for a while before the divorce happened. Whether it’s the kid who’s talking about your partner’s ex or your partner themselves, you’re going to have to hear about it.

And this is something that you don’t have to put up with. You can’t let it affect your relationship.

You need to learn how to deal with this. You need to learn how to handle hearing about your ex. You need a strategy for dealing with the topic of their ex, and you need one now!

Because if you wait until something bad happens, it’ll be too late. And you’ll have no way of dealing with it. And then your relationship will be over.

But what if I told you that talking about your past relationships is completely healthy and that it’s actually a great way to improve your current relationship?

Maybe it will help you in the future. And maybe it will make you realize that you’re better off without your ex. And maybe this will help you build a stronger relationship with your partner. 

You’ll have to hear about the past, but what if I tell you that hearing about it can also help you in the present? Will it change anything for your future?

The answer is yes! And here’s why:

The past is something we’ve done, and we’re stuck with that. But the present is something we can change.

At least, that way you will find out why their past relationship didn’t work so you can avoid any similar mistakes in the future.

You can’t change your partner’s past, but you can change how you feel about them. You can let go of the past and learn from it. And that’s one of the best ways to deal with it.

8) Your dating lifestyle will be different from what you’re used to

Let me take a guess.

Changing your dating lifestyle is probably not something that you’re used to.

And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, chances are that it will be hard to break away from the norms and habits of your previous relationships.

You used to hang out with a lot of people and just have fun. You used to have a lot of sex and flirt with a lot of people. You used to go out with different partners and get along with them all.

But now, things are different. You’re in a relationship with someone who has a kid, which means that you’re in it for the long haul. And that means that your dating life will change too!

You’ll be spending a lot more time with your partner and his/her family. You’ll be spending a lot more time with your partner’s friends and relatives. You’ll be spending a lot more time with people that you don’t know very well, but who are important to your partner.

And this will require you to change your dating lifestyle in many ways.

It’ll require you to change how you see yourself and others because you’ll have to learn how to get along with different people in different situations.

It’ll require you to change how you communicate with others because now, it’s not just about having fun and hanging out, but also getting along with people that are important in your partner’s life.

Are you ready for all of this?

If so, then don’t hesitate any more and start dating this one special person in your life.

9) Your partner won’t always be available to you

Imagine what it would be like if your partner refused to go on dates with you again and again.

Sadly, when it comes to dating someone with a kid, it’s a familiar story and it usually goes like this:

You go on a date with your partner. It’s fun, and you have a good time together. Maybe the next day, your partner has to take care of their kid. The other day, your partner has to take care of their work.

And the story goes on and on … and on …

This is the story of many people in relationships with people who have kids.

And if you’re one of those people, you probably know how frustrating it can be when your partner doesn’t want to go out with you again and again because his/her priorities are not just about having fun but also taking care of his/her family first!

Annoying isn’t it?

10) Your partner won’t always be on your side in tough times

We all know that when you’re in a relationship with someone, you’ll have moments when things don’t go according to plan.

For example, if you’re in a relationship with someone who has a kid, then your partner might not be there for you in tough times.

When things don’t go well at work, your partner might not be there for you to support and encourage you. 

When something is going wrong with your health or if something big has happened in your life, your partner may not be there to listen to what you have to say or give advice on how to deal with these situations.

But guess what?

Even when you feel down, your partner might have different priorities. Why?

Because they will always have to take care of their kid.

The result?

You’ll feel alone and lonely when you need your partner the most.

And even if you don’t, chances are that they won’t be able to spend enough time with you because they’ll be too busy with their kid.

So, is it worth it?

Well, it all depends on you and your relationship.

So, what’s the bottom line?

Being in a relationship with someone who has a kid in your 20s can be hard, but it doesn’t mean that you should give up.

Still, while being in a relationship with someone who has a kid can be tough, it’s important to remember that you are each unique individual and should focus on what makes you happy.

The truth is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to parenting, so find the method of care that works best for both of you and stick with it. It just means that you need to learn how to cope with these issues and take them as they come.

And remember to focus on the things that make you happy, because you can’t change the other person.

You need to learn how to be happy with what you have and how to enjoy the little things in life. You need to be strong enough not to let your partner’s priorities take over your life.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.