Putting your relationship first is important, but so is having healthy friendships.
When you’re dating someone, you may feel like you spend most of your time with that person or that it leaves little room for other connections.
Which may be true.
But if your boyfriend prioritizes friends over you and prefers hanging out with them over spending time with you, things can get complicated.
If he puts his other friendships above yours, this can come across as a red flag.
However, there could be any number of explanations for why this is so.
Regardless of the reason, read on to learn how to deal when your boyfriend prioritizes friends over you.
1) Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel
When your partner prioritizes friends over you it can be an unfair, upsetting, and potentially damaging situation.
You might feel hurt and you might start to feel insecure.
You might even start to wonder if this is a sign that the relationship is moving in a negative direction.
However, there are several things that you can do to address this situation.
The first step that you can take to address this issue is to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel when he prioritizes friends over you.
Let him know your thoughts and at the same time, try to know his viewpoint.
You should also try to understand why your boyfriend prioritizes friends over you in the first place.
It could be that he simply enjoys spending time with his friends and does not see anything wrong with this.
If that is the case, then there is nothing that you can do about it.
However, there could also be other reasons behind it.
For example, it could be that he feels less pressure around his friends so he is more comfortable around them than he is around you.
Whatever it is, communication is the key.
2) Suggest ways to spend more time together
You may feel like you’re always the second priority in your boyfriend’s life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make some changes.
Whether you want to spend more time with him or head out on a date night, there are plenty of ways to fit in more quality time.
One option is to suggest he spend less time with his friends and more time with you.
If he isn’t willing to cut back on time spent with them, you may have to consider spending more time away from them yourself.
Another option is to schedule a date night that gives you both some quality time together.
A date night can be a great way to reconnect and build the relationship back up, so it’s important to make it a priority.
From the grapevine, another approach to fully engage your man in you and your relationship is getting noticed.
3) Understand that his friends are important to him
We can all agree that friends are important in everyone’s lives, but some men need their friends more than others.
If you have trouble understanding that your boyfriend prioritizes his friends over you, it might be time to start making some compromises.
Let him have his time with his friends, and make him understand that he should always put your needs first.
If he doesn’t, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship altogether.
If you have been dating for a while, it’s important to understand that your boyfriend’s friends are important to him.
Don’t be surprised if he wants to spend time with them now and then.
Just remember that he still commits to you, too, so don’t take his friendship with his friends too personally.
Instead, try to be understanding and supportive when he does choose to hang out with his friends instead of you.
4) Don’t try to compete with his friends for his attention
It can be hard to watch your boyfriend spend all his time with his friends. But it is important to remember that he has to maintain boundaries.
If you try to compete with his friends for his attention, it can lead to conflict.
Instead, try to find other people to spend time with. Make your friends and enjoy life as it is.
Remember, boys will always want to maintain their friendships, and this is just how they are wired as a gender.
They may put their girlfriends first right now, but once they become comfortable with someone, they will look for any reason to leave that person behind and move on to something else.
If you are in a relationship with a boy who spends more time with his friends than he does with you, then there is a chance that they are more important than you in his eyes.
Assert yourself and let him decide what he should do with the situation. Whatever his choice is, do not blame yourself.
You did your part well.
5) Find your hobbies and interests
A good relationship is one where both partners are happy and comfortable.
Your boyfriend should be someone you enjoy spending time with and someone you can relate to.
But if he is always with his friends then it is time to do things on your own.
It is important to find a hobby or interest that helps you feel more engaged and connected to the world.
If you take the time to find a hobby that you enjoy, you can also use it as a way to bond with your partner.
Hobbies are a great way to have fun together and can help give you a chance to talk about things that might not come up in other conversations.
It can even serve as a way to bring back some of the sparks in your relationship if it has started to feel stale.
There are many hobbies out there that people can choose from (and some are even some specific hobbies that are great for couples).
One that I can recommend is trying this self-healing meditation.
As for me, when I find myself overthinking, I try to sit down, relax, and listen to this guided meditation.
It helped me clear my head and realize that just because my boyfriend likes to spend time with friends doesn’t mean I’m any less important.
He has a life outside of me, just as I do outside of him.
It’s a really valuable realization that I never would’ve gotten had I not discovered this self-healing meditation.
6) Spend time with your friends
You should tell your boyfriend that you need to spend time with your friends as well.
You can even suggest a double date or a group hangout.
This will create an environment in which everyone feels welcome and included.
If you feel like your boyfriend is always busy with his friends, it might be time to cut back on how often you see them together.
He may be trying to balance work and social demands on top of spending time with you.
You should also consider spending time with his friends on your own.
This will allow you to get to know them better and see how they interact with each other.
It may also give you insight into whether he’s been honest about how much time he actually spends with them.
7) Don’t be jealous of his friends
It’s normal to feel jealous when your boyfriend shows more interest in his friends than you sometimes.
It’s important to remember, however, that your boyfriend can’t be all things to all people at all times.
Some days he might need time alone to recharge and decompress after a long day at work, while other days he might want to hang out with friends.
Jealousy is a natural feeling that arises when we feel as though someone is taking something away from us, which is why it’s important to understand that your boyfriend doesn’t owe you his time and attention 24/7.
If you are feeling like your boyfriend is spending too much time with his friends and not enough time with you, the best thing you can do is communicate your concerns.
Talk to each other.
8) Trust him and give him space
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
If you don’t trust your partner, then you don’t have a true relationship.
A lack of trust can lead to all kinds of bad things, including a cheating partner, an insecure and clingy partner, a partner who is constantly jealous and suspicious of you, and even one who is verbally or physically abusive.
Trust is also important in friendships.
Your friends are the people who know you best and love you most. A good friend will always respect your time together and never make you feel like they are one of your priorities if they are not.
Trust takes time, but it is worth it.
Start by giving your partner the benefit of the doubt when things are going well.
Believe that they are being honest when they tell you that they are working late or studying with a friend.
Keep an open mind and look for the best in your friends, even when they don’t deserve it.
9) Accept that you won’t always come first
When someone is dating you, it doesn’t automatically mean that they’re going to put you first.
It’s easy to get upset when your boyfriend doesn’t always prioritize you over his friends.
However, it’s important to remember that he has a life outside of you and that you can’t be his top priority all the time.
Instead of stressing out about it, accept that it’s okay if he prioritizes friends over you sometimes.
When you do that, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy your relationship without feeling jealous or resentful.
Try to understand where he’s coming from so that you can agree about how much time he spends with you versus his friends.
10) Be supportive of his friendships
Being supportive of his friendships is an important role in a healthy relationship.
If he’s working late or out with friends, it’s okay to ask him how his day was and if there’s anything you can do to help.
It shows that you care about him and his life outside of the relationship. It also shows that you’re willing to put in the effort to be supportive and understanding.
There are of course times when you should and can become jealous of your boyfriend’s friendships.
If he is ignoring you or choosing friends over you, then there are issues.
There are times when relationships need to be put on hold for the sake of the friendship, such as when you have to take care of a sick friend, but those should be the exception rather than the norm.
When someone is constantly choosing friends over you, that can be a red flag that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.
11) Don’t try to control or limit his time with his friends
While it’s important to maintain healthy relationships with friends and family, it is also important not to neglect your partner, especially if you’re in a serious relationship.
However, when you try to control or limit his time with his friends, it can lead to feelings of resentment and anger.
This can affect your relationship in several ways.
First, it can make him feel like he has to hide things from you, which can lead to arguments and hurt feelings.
Second, it can create feelings of resentment and anger.
Friendships change and evolve, just like yours will with your boyfriend.
It’s important to allow him the freedom to pursue these friendships while still prioritizing your relationship as well.
And last but not the least,
12) Have patience and don’t rush him
In relationships, there is a fine line between being supportive and being possessive.
While most people want to be supportive of their partner, this can sometimes lead to possessiveness and jealousy.
This is especially true when a partner is having difficulty adjusting to the relationship or when he is prioritizing friends over the relationship.
In situations like these, it is important to have patience and not rush him.
Don’t make him feel guilty for spending time with his friends or for prioritizing them over you.
Instead, try to maintain a positive attitude and remind yourself that he will adjust to the relationship in time.
If you are struggling with jealousy in your relationship, it can help to understand why you are feeling this way.
Are you worried that your partner is going to abandon you?
Are you worried that your partner is going to find someone better?
These are all common reasons for feeling jealous.
Once you have identified the cause of your feelings, you can begin working on dealing with them constructively.
The best course of action? Talk about any concerns or issues you have with your boyfriend.
It may start a healthy discussion and could help him realize that he is neglecting you.
If he is willing to listen, try to find a balance between making time for your relationship and spending time with your friends.
This way, both your relationship and friendship with your partner get met healthily.
We all know that a problem like this complicates a relationship.
Ideally, friends should hype a relationship and not be the result of its doom, and dealing with this problem is a tricky one – I know we can all concur.
There is a way out of this.
James Bauer, relationship guru, found a way to get through to any man.
It’s called the Hero Instinct and it is something that you can trigger in your boyfriend to make him prioritize you over his friends, and ultimately, change him for the better.
Want to learn more? Watch James Bauer’s free video here.
In it, he’ll explain exactly what a guy needs in order to fall for you deeply, become an amazing boyfriend, and finally, commit to you completely. He’ll tell you more about a man’s innate drives and how to trigger them by saying certain things that he finds irresistible.