8 signs your boyfriend thinks you’re clingy (and what to do about it)

You’re noticing a weird energy from your boyfriend. He seems a little more distant and annoyed when you try to get his attention.

Is it possible he is starting to find you too clingy?

If so, what can you do about it?

Read on because in this article, we’ll break down 8 signs that your boyfriend thinks you’re clingy.

1) He tenses up when you touch him

This is the first tell-tale sign of tension between you and your partner.

Even people who have physical touch as their lowest love language welcome it from their significant other.

But if you’re becoming too clingy, your boyfriend may feel suffocated by your constant physical touch. And this may cause him to tense up or pull away.

Of course, there can be a lot more possibilities behind him keeping his distance. He may be sick or stressed or simply pissed.

Whatever the case, take his boundaries for what it is… for now.

Give him some space and never, ever force yourself on him.

This can help both of you learn the value of setting boundaries. And you just might be better off for it, too!

2) He hides his hobbies from you

If your boyfriend starts hiding his hobbies and interests from you, it could be a sign that he thinks you’ve become clingy.

It means he’s starting to feel like he needs to keep some parts of his life separate from you.

Remember: Everyone needs their own space and interests outside of the relationship.

If you constantly ask him to be a part of all his activities, your boyfriend may feel like he’s losing his sense of individuality and autonomy.

He will feel forced to share everything with you.

It’s important to note, though, that this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love or care about you. It just means he needs some alone time to regain his individuality.

This is what you can do: Try to be understanding and supportive of his need for independence.

You can also encourage him to pursue his hobbies and interests.

Make sure that you keep a healthy balance of togetherness and individuality. This is the key to a successful relationship.

3) He makes excuses for hanging out with his friends

Recently, you might notice that your partner is spending a lot of time with his friends.

He may also make up excuses like going to the gym or visiting his mom, when in fact, he’s with the boys!

You are sure he’s not cheating on you. So him making these excuses may be an indicator that he’s finding you clingy.

Maybe he’s starting to worry about his autonomy in the relationship. And it’s because the two of you spend too much time together.

While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can take away from your boyfriend’s happiness.

Why, you ask? Because he doesn’t feel like his own person anymore.

Don’t take this personally. His need for space and time with his friends is beneficial for your relationship.

What you can do is encourage him to go out with his friends. Or at least make him feel that he doesn’t need to ask your permission to spend time with them.

He can just say, “Hey, babe. I’m going out with the boys.” And you can simply wish him well and have a little fun of your own.

4) He turns down invitations, then locks himself in your bedroom

Do you notice your boyfriend deliberately missing work events or concerts of his favorite band? Maybe he even skipped a family dinner?

And then he’ll lock himself for the rest of the day in your bedroom.

Even then, you still feel like he’s not around. Why is that?

Well, maybe it’s because he’s conditioned now to turn down invites… even when deep down he really wants to go.

This is a symptom of brewing resentment, which could be caused by you becoming too clingy.

He may feel as if you’re monopolizing his time. And that you’re going to flip if he does accept these invitations.

This may happen when you express jealousy over a coworker, his celebrity crushes, or even his own cousins!

I know it’s hard to be too lenient in a relationship.

But remind yourself: Trust is the most basic foundation of a good partnership.

Let your boyfriend feel this. Or else, that brewing resentment may grow into something worse.

5) He asks you if you don’t have any friends

Have you heard this from your boyfriend at one point?:

Your boyfriend starts asking if you have any friends or encourages you to go out and make new ones.

It may sound harsh, and you are more than welcome to call him out about it.

But this statement could be a sign that he feels like he’s your only source of companionship.

By the end of the day, I hope you know that it’s important to have a life outside of your relationship.

Maintaining your own friendships and interests is actually something that can keep you healthy– mentally, physically, and emotionally.

6) There is nothing for the two of you to talk about anymore

At this point, I know you want to talk to your boyfriend about what’s going on.

Why is he being distant? Why is he making excuses?

But before you get to ask these questions, you have to start with some small talk first. Except… you realize you don’t know what to talk about.

If this has happened to you, then it’s high time to do some self-reflection.

If you yourself feel as if you’ve ran out of things to tell your boyfriend about, it’s an obvious sign that he thinks you’re being clingy.

There is a reason why missing our partner makes us excited to see them again.

The time and space you spend away from each other is actually a way for the two of you to expand your horizons.

You can enrich your individual lives enough. Then when you meet again, you have new things to talk about—work, friends, hobbies, even drama!

7) He says he misses you, but it doesn’t sound genuine

If your love language is words of affirmation, then you often express “I love you” or “I miss you” to your boyfriend.

And you mean every word of it.

Of course, your boyfriend would say it back. But if you notice that his replies don’t seem genuine, it might be because he thinks you’re too clingy.

You know the signs: he doesn’t look at you when he says it, he uses a quiet voice, or he seems slightly annoyed.

When this happens, it’s best to read the room.

Notice the tone of his voice, sometimes even his body language. These will inform you when to give him the space he needs.

8) He asks you for time off

If your boyfriend asks you for time off, it could be a sign that he thinks you’re clingy.

Hearing this from your boyfriend is a big thing. Especially when he’s gone through almost every point discussed above.

When he finally asks you for space, then it means he has reached the end of his rope.

He is now demanding his own space and independence by spending time apart from you. 

Your boyfriend has become overwhelmed or suffocated in the relationship and needs some time to himself to recharge.

When this happens, honor his wishes. Try not to take it personally and respect his need for space.

You can use this time to focus on your own hobbies and interests or spend time with your own friends.

Just remember: Don’t apologize when this happens. Because this is not your fault and it is not a fault.

Should you stop being clingy?

Being drawn to our partners is normal. It is a sign of attraction and constant affection.

But the level of clinginess we show our partners should depend on what both of us are comfortable with.

Personally, I suggest you don’t stop yourself from being clingy. But maybe you can tone it down a little and meet your boyfriend halfway.

And if you have a problem doing this, then I suggest consulting a relationship coach.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like handling the level of affection in any relationship.

Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

Click here to get started.

Final words

Being clingy is not necessarily a bad thing.

But too much of it can be a sign of an anxious attachment style. And that can introduce unhealthy habits in a relationship.

When you begin to think your boyfriend is finding you clingy, the best thing to do is to communicate.

Talk to him about your feelings in response to his actions. And try to find a way to give each other what is beneficial to the relationship.

If things work out, you just might discover a new, healthier way to express your love for your boyfriend.