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In life, we all have lessons we learn a bit too late. But for women, psychology suggests there are some universal truths we often grasp just a tad after the fact.
We’re talking about lessons that most women – a staggering 99 percent according to research – come by a little too late. These are lessons that, if learned earlier, could bring about truly transformative changes.
The following are nine of these late-arriving lessons. And whether you’re a woman who’s just starting out or one who’s been around the block a few times, you’re bound to find some wisdom here.
1) The importance of self-love
Believe it or not, self-love is one of the lessons many women learn a bit too late.
The psychology behind it is quite simple – we often spend so much time caring for others, that we forget to care for ourselves. We give, give, give, and then wonder why we’re left feeling drained and unfulfilled.
According to various studies, a staggering 99 percent of women fall into this trap. They prioritize others’ needs over their own, neglecting the importance of self-love and self-care.
The reality is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. To truly be able to care for others, you need to first care for yourself. It’s a hard-earned lesson that most women unfortunately learn a little too late.
So remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize self-love. It’s essential. But ensure this lesson is learned sooner rather than later.
2) It’s okay to say no
I remember a time when I always felt the need to please everyone around me. I’d take on extra tasks at work, agree to social events I wasn’t interested in, and generally stretch myself thin trying to make everyone else happy.
Psychology suggests that many women share this habit of being people pleasers. It’s a pattern that often leads to burnout, stress, and resentment.
It wasn’t until I was completely overwhelmed that I learned an important lesson – it’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s necessary. It took me a while to realize that saying no didn’t make me a bad person. It made me a healthier, happier one.
A staggering 99 percent of women learn this lesson a bit too late in life, just like I did. But once we grasp the importance of setting boundaries and protecting our time and energy, it truly is a game-changer.
3) Perfection is a myth
In our pursuit of perfection, we often lose sight of the fact that it’s our imperfections that make us unique, relatable, and human. Women are particularly susceptible to the pressures of being perfect – perfect in their roles as mothers, wives, professionals, and more.
The quest for perfectionism can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. According to a study published in Psychological Bulletin, women are more likely than men to experience the negative effects of perfectionism.
We need to understand that perfection is a myth. It’s not attainable, and the pursuit of it can cause more harm than good. Realizing this sooner can spare us unnecessary stress and heartache. And it’s one of those lessons most women learn a bit too late in life.
4) Failing is part of growth
Failure is often looked upon as something negative, when in reality, it’s a crucial stepping stone to success. From every failure, there’s a lesson to be learned and an opportunity for growth.
However, the fear of failure can stifle our progress. It can prevent us from taking risks and stepping outside our comfort zone. And this is a lesson that most women, unfortunately, learn a bit too late in life.
It’s important to understand that failing is not the end of the world. On the contrary, it’s a part of life and an essential part of our personal and professional growth. Embracing failure rather than fearing it can open doors to new opportunities and experiences. So don’t be afraid to fail – every stumble is just another step forward.
5) It’s never too late to pursue your dreams
Many women often suppress their dreams and aspirations due to societal pressures or personal obligations. They put their dreams on hold and later regret not pursuing them.
The truth is, it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Age, societal norms, or fear of failure shouldn’t deter you from chasing what sets your soul on fire.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that pursuing your passion can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction.
Unfortunately, this is a lesson many women learn a bit too late in life. But it’s never truly too late to start. So, whether you’ve always wanted to write a book, start a business, or travel the world – go for it. Your dreams are worth pursuing.
6) The value of genuine friendships
In this age of social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the number of friends or followers we have. But the truth is, it’s not about quantity but quality.
Having genuine friendships – the kind where you can call at 2 a.m., the ones who know your flaws but love you anyway, those who stick around in the tough times – is more valuable than having a thousand acquaintances.
These are the people who add value to your life, not just social status. They lift you up, support your dreams, and love you unconditionally.
Unfortunately, the importance of nurturing these genuine friendships is a lesson many women learn a bit too late in life. But when we do, we realize that these deep connections are one of life’s most precious gifts. So cherish these bonds, because true friendship is priceless.
7) Forgiveness is liberating
Carrying around anger and resentment can be exhausting. It’s like carrying a heavy weight that drags you down emotionally and mentally. I carried around this weight for years, holding onto grudges and past hurts.
The moment I chose to forgive, I felt a sense of liberation. It wasn’t about letting the other person off the hook, but about setting myself free from the burden of past grievances.
Many women, like me, learn this lesson a bit too late in life. But it’s essential to understand that forgiveness is more about your own peace of mind than about the person who hurt you. So don’t hold onto the past – let go, forgive, and free yourself from the weight of resentment.
8) You can’t control everything
In life, we often strive for control. We want to control our circumstances, our future, even the people around us. But the truth is, there’s so much in life that is simply beyond our control.
Trying to control everything can lead to stress and anxiety. It’s a futile effort that takes away from our ability to enjoy the present moment.
According to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, trying to control uncontrollable situations can lead to feelings of helplessness and depression.
This is a lesson that many women learn a bit too late in life. But once we realize and accept that we can’t control everything, we can focus on what we can control – our actions, our attitudes, our responses. This shift can lead to less stress and more peace in our lives.
9) Your happiness comes first
At the end of the day, your happiness is what matters the most. It’s easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of life, prioritizing everyone else’s happiness over our own. But neglecting our own happiness can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction.
You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. Don’t compromise your happiness for the sake of others. This is your life, and you’re entitled to live it in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, it’s not selfish to put your happiness first. It’s necessary for your well-being. So make your happiness a priority – it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Final thoughts: Embrace the journey
Life, in all its complexity, is a journey filled with lessons waiting to be learned.
For women, these lessons often unfold in unexpected ways and at unexpected times. Yet, they shape us, enrich us, and ultimately help us grow into the women we are meant to be.
According to a study in the Journal of Adult Development, life lessons play a crucial role in our psychological well-being and personal growth. They may come a bit late for most women, but when they do arrive, they bring with them wisdom and insight that can transform our lives.
So whether you’re just starting on your journey or well into your path, remember – it’s never too late to learn, to grow and to change. Embrace these lessons, no matter when they come. They are the stepping stones of your journey.
Life may not always be easy, but it is always rich with opportunities for growth. Savor each moment, each lesson, and each experience. For it’s these very things that make the journey worthwhile.
