By 
There’s a stark difference between constructive criticism and intentional belittling.
This difference boils down to intention.
A toxic man will utilize words with the primary goal of knocking down your self-esteem, often subtly and under the guise of ‘joking’.
On the flip side, genuine feedback given with love and respect is aimed at fostering growth and improvement. It uplifts rather than brings down.
A toxic man knows just what to say to undermine your confidence in a seemingly casual manner.
And those of us who have been there know that these remarks can be dangerously damaging.
In this piece, we’ll be identifying 7 things a toxic man will casually say to diminish your confidence and self-worth.
1) “You’re too sensitive”
This is a classic line used by toxic men to undermine their partner’s feelings and emotions.
The essence of this statement is to belittle your reactions and make you second-guess your feelings.
It’s a deft move, shrouded in casualness, but the intent is clear – to make you question your own perception of reality.
In essence, it’s a form of gaslighting, a manipulative technique used to make people doubt their own experiences and memories.
When you hear “you’re too sensitive”, it’s usually an attempt to shift the blame onto you, rather than addressing the actual issue at hand.
2) “I was only joking”
I still remember when someone I cared for used this phrase on me.
It was after he made a harsh comment about my career choice, laughing it off as a “joke”.
Despite his laughter, the sting of his words lingered.
When I confronted him about it, he immediately deflected with “I was only joking, can’t you take a joke?”
But here’s the thing: A true joke shouldn’t belittle or demean. It shouldn’t make you feel less than.
In this case, “I was only joking” was his way of trivializing his hurtful comments and making me feel like I was overreacting.
This tactic shifts the blame onto you, making you feel guilty for taking offence.
It’s just another toxic way to undermine your confidence and self-worth.
3) “No one else thinks that”
When a toxic man uses this phrase, he is essentially employing a psychological phenomenon known as ‘groupthink’.
Groupthink occurs when a group of people makes faulty decisions due to group pressures, ignoring alternatives and striving for unanimity.
It’s often used to manipulate individuals into doubting their own opinions or beliefs.
By saying “no one else thinks that”, the toxic man is isolating you and making you feel like your thoughts or feelings are invalid because they aren’t shared by others.
In reality, your individual thoughts and feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s, irrespective of whether they’re popular or not.
This phrase is a sly way of diminishing your confidence in your own beliefs and self-worth.
4) “You’re overthinking it”
This is an all too common phrase used by toxic individuals to subtly undermine your confidence.
By telling you that you’re “overthinking”, they’re essentially invalidating your concerns and worries.
It’s a way for them to dismiss your feelings and create a narrative where you’re the one creating problems, not them.
In reality, your concerns and worries are valid.
If something feels wrong, it’s often because it is.
A supportive partner would address your worries instead of dismissing them as overthinking.
Always trust your instincts.
If you feel like something is off, don’t let anyone convince you that you’re just “overthinking” it.
5) “You can’t take a joke”
There was this one time, I remember, I was at a social gathering with a guy I had been seeing.
He made a rather unkind joke about my appearance in front of our friends.
I felt my face flush and my heart sink.
Later, when I confronted him about it, his response was quick and dismissive: “You can’t take a joke.”
But the thing is, humor should never be wielded as a tool to degrade or belittle someone else.
It shouldn’t leave you feeling small or hurt.
6) “You’re always so negative”
This phrase is a classic diversion tactic used by toxic men to shift the blame onto you.
Instead of acknowledging their actions or words that may have caused distress, they pin the issue on your ‘negativity’.
By labelling you as ‘negative’, they are invalidating your feelings and concerns.
It’s a way of dismissing any criticism or resistance you might have towards their behavior.
It’s important to realize that expressing your feelings or standing up for yourself doesn’t make you negative.
It makes you assertive and that’s a key trait for maintaining healthy relationships.
7) “You’re just too much”
This phrase is perhaps one of the most damaging things a toxic man can say.
It’s a blatant attempt to make you feel like you’re too complicated, too emotional, or just too ‘difficult’ to handle.
But here’s the truth: You are not ‘too much’. You are just right, exactly as you are.
Your emotions, your complexities, your passions – they make you who you are.
And you should never have to suppress them for someone else’s comfort.
Anyone who makes you feel like you’re ‘too much’ is probably not enough for you.
It’s about respect
The core of all human interactions, relationships, and communication revolves around one fundamental principle – respect.
Respect for each other’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences is the bedrock of any healthy relationship.
When phrases like “you’re too sensitive” or “you’re just too much” are thrown around, it’s not merely about words.
It’s about the lack of respect and empathy behind those words.
These toxic phrases are designed to make you question your worth and undermine your confidence.
But remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
Your feelings are valid.
Your thoughts matter.
And your self-worth is not defined by the demeaning words of a toxic individual.
So the next time you hear one of these phrases, take a moment.
Reflect on the intention behind it.
And choose to stand up for yourself because you are worth it.
