The brutal truth about being 40 and alone

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Are you 40 and alone?

If you are, then you might think that there’s something wrong with you.

Or, maybe you feel guilty for enjoying it.

Want the brutal truth?

Being 40 and alone is a lot more common than you might think…

To find out more, read on:

Is it OK to be 40 and single?

The brutal truth is that it depends on how you look at it.

Generally speaking, most people have tied the knot by 40. They have a family. They have friends and a community. They have a support network.

So let me ask you this: Do you want to be like most people?

If you don’t, then you have your answer: it’s ok to be 40 and single!

However, the people around you could pressure you to settle down or find a partner – especially your family. Thus, making you feel inappropriate and as if it’s not ok to be single.

In addition, some people think it’s a problem if you’re single at 40 because they’re ageists. More specifically, they believe that there’s an appropriate age to do everything. And if you’re 40 and single, then you’ve slipped through the cracks of normalcy.

These people could make you feel bad about yourself for being too old to be single, or for being single at all.

Ouch! This is nonsense, of course. Just because most people have paired off by your age doesn’t mean that you should, too. In fact, you should know that in just about every culture, there are single people over the age of forty.

So, is it ok to be 40 and alone?

The brutal truth is that being 40 and single is neither good nor bad. It’s just the way things are.

Therefore, if you don’t feel the need to be married or in a committed relationship, then it is absolutely ok to be 40 and single.

4 reasons being 40 and alone is a good thing

Can I be totally honest with you?

The brutal truth is that not every person who is 40 and alone is also miserable. The majority of them live a more fulfilling life than those who are married and /or in a relationship.

Here are 4 possible reasons being 40 and alone is a good thing:

1) You don’t have to make compromises

When you’re married or in a committed relationship, your life is tied to one person – not just on the holidays and special occasions, but every day.

If things go sour, then you’ll have to work out a way that both of you can live with it. You might have to give up what you want so that your partner is happy.

But if you’re single at 40, then this doesn’t apply to you. You can do what makes you happy and nothing else – no compromises needed.

2) You can go on last-minute trips

Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy all that life has to offer in your forties?

With no time constraints, flying last minute and staying out of hotels is a breeze. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

Let’s face it… if you’re 40, going on a date to watch a movie might seem old hat. But if you’re 40 and alone, then this could be exciting! You can go when and where you want. And it doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.

3) You can focus on your career

Another reason being 40 and alone is a good thing is that you can concentrate on your career.

Look at it this way: If you had a steady partner, then you wouldn’t want to take risks on new opportunities. You would want to be sure it would work out for both of you.

But being single allows you to go for your dreams, even if it’s not the conventional choice for how to make a living.

And if it works, then your career will never have been better… right?

4) You don’t have to deal with relationship stress

Let’s face it: Any relationship, regardless of how wonderful it is, can sometimes be stressful.

And stress is the enemy of a good, healthy life. While being 40 and single is certainly not a bed of roses, you don’t have to deal with the stress that a relationship brings with it.

And that’s why this reason is a good thing.

4 reasons being 40 and alone is a bad thing

Just like anything else in this world, being 40 and alone has its disadvantages.

The brutal truth is that, at the end of the day, almost no one wants to be alone.

So, let’s discuss the reasons why being single at the age of 40 is a bad thing:

1) You simply can’t avoid feeling lonely

Be honest, now. How many times have you felt lonely since you’ve been 40?

Regardless of how active you are, how busy your life is, or how many friends you have, you still get lonely.

Feeling this way is inevitable. Why? Because humans are social creatures. We’re wired to be with other people.

And if you’re 40 and alone, then you don’t have that person by your side. As a result, loneliness creeps in on a regular basis.

2) You don’t experience intimacy

What is intimacy, really?

Intimacy can be defined as a feeling of closeness and comfort between two people.

Intimacy is a powerful motivator that makes people want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. And if you’re 40 and alone, then this type of intimacy just isn’t possible for you.

Sure, you can date people or have one-night stands, but intimacy is a different story. This is where you feel connected to someone in a very special way and share something extremely intimate with them like your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

3) You miss out on couples’ activities

Look, romantic things have their place, but are they the best thing to do in your forties?

It’s really not that bad being 40 and alone, but being a part of a couple is something else. You’ll miss out on things like looking for a house together, going on vacations together, having dinner parties together.

You know what I mean… it’s just something that couples do. And if you’re 40 and alone, then you won’t get to experience those things.

4) You actually want a partner and to get married

Well, this reason is also quite obvious.

While some people prefer being single and others just don’t mind it, there are still some who would actually like to get married.

If you’re one of them, then being single is definitely bad for you.

How do I start dating again at 40?

Dating at 40 can be just as fun or as hard as dating in your 20s or 30s. It really depends on how you approach things.

And how you approach things will determine how successful you’ll be at it.

Here are some tips for dating at 40:

1) Know what you want

I think we both agree that if you start dating again at 40, you should have an idea of what you really want out of it.

This is key because if you’re unclear about what you want, then how can you expect to get it?

When dating at 40, having an idea of what is going to make you happy and fulfilled will do wonders for your self-confidence and your dating life.

2) Know your boundaries

When 40 and alone, you can choose to experiment, or you can choose to stick to your guns.

Experimentation, when done in tandem with a good sense of what you want, is a great way for you to explore dating and have fun without getting hurt.

But if you know what you want, then you don’t have to get hurt because knowing your boundaries also helps keep things fun and exciting.

3) Confidence is sexy at any age

In case you want to start dating again, keep this in mind: confidence is still the key to your success.

And at 40, having confidence is especially important. If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of being loved and that you’re not good enough, then how are you going to attract someone who will love and appreciate you?

Confidence is more than just a self-esteem thing. It’s the mindset that gives others notice that you’re ready for a relationship.

4) Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there

You know that it’s not going to be easy. It’s actually going to take a lot of energy and effort.

But this is precisely why you should put yourself out there as much as possible.

And the more people you meet, the more chances you’ll have to find someone who is compatible with you.

5) Understand that dating at 40 is different than dating in your 20s and 30s

There are a lot of changes that happen to a person’s life when they hit the interesting age of 40.

But this doesn’t mean you simply can’t do anything and everything as you did in your 20s and 30s.

You should just understand that this particular kind of dating is different, so you should adjust accordingly.

Why is it different?

You’re mature enough to know what you want, but you’re not so old that you don’t want anything anymore.

Also, you’re probably no longer shy or quiet. And the list could go on and on.

40 and alone. Now what?

The brutal truth is that being 40 and alone can be both rewarding and lonely. You just have to make the best of what you have.

But, if you’re a woman in your 40s looking for love, things just got a lot easier for you.

How so?

Well, relationship expert James Bauer has come up with a new concept that explains exactly what a man needs in order to fall for you, become an amazing boyfriend and finally commit to you completely.

It’s called the Hero Instinct, and if you deploy it right, it’ll get any man to do the following:

  • Feel more attracted to you than ever before
  • Become addicted to your love and attention
  • Be more committed than he’s ever been before

In his free video, James Bauer explains exactly how you can use it to your advantage. He’ll tell you exactly what a man needs and how you can give him everything that he needs in order to fall in love with you and commit to you completely.

Click here to watch James Bauer’s excellent free video.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.