Have you ever heard of the ‘meet cute’?
You’ll certainly be familiar with how it plays out. During a romantic comedy, it is the moment when the two main characters meet each other for the very first time.
You know the moments I’m talking about. Their eyes lock together, something incredible fizzes, and we just know that these two people are destined to be together.
I know what you may be thinking — film is different to real life. And nothing like that could ever happen to me.
But can it? Can a regular guy or girl meet their soulmate at the local park, bar, gym or supermarket?
Yes, they absolutely can. Regular people meet their soulmate every single day.
If you’re wondering whether you’ve really met your soulmate, you’ve come to the right place.
Because here are 20 tell-tale soulmate signs that you’re truly with the one.
1. Love at first sight
Love at first sight is not just the stuff of Barbara Cartland novels. It happens all the time.
When you talk to people who have found their soulmate, one of the most common things they will tell you is that they knew this was the real thing from the very first moment that they met.
Research by psychologists actually supports this. That’s right, science says that love at first sight really is a thing.
Turns out that people are actually incredibly good at making instant judgements that last.
What this means is that if that man or woman standing in the frozen foods aisle of your local supermarket makes your heart flutter, then it really could be the start of something quite special.
Of course, the chemistry of instant attraction might not always mean a lifetime of togetherness. But it is usually a pretty good start.
2. You feel like you must have met in another lifetime
Maybe you stood on the deck of a 18th century ship together or watched the pyramids being built in ancient Egypt?
Whichever way you choose to describe it, the feeling that people get when meeting a soulmate is one where you feel to know one another completely from very early on in your relationship.
The couples that I have spoken to always describe this in the same way — “it feels like we have always known each other”.
This isn’t just about knowing facts and details — the name of first pets or their first school. It is much deeper than that.
It is about knowing who they are as a person, what drives them, what makes them special and why they are by your side.
3. Nothing stands in your way
Aretha said it best – “ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide enough – to keep me from getting to you”.
When you meet your soulmate, the obstacles that exist to stop you being together will seem like insignificant things. A mountain? Fine, I’ll go over it. A river? No problem – I can swim that.
Love is always going to involve obstacles. Things that come between you and the person you love. When you meet your soulmate, however, you suddenly feel braver and capable of smashing those obstacles in pursuit of lifelong happiness.
This is particularly true of men. Scientists and psychologists have written about a new concept called the hero instinct.
What it basically means is that the desire that men have to step up for the woman in their lives and protect them is hardwired into their DNA.
Men thrive on being there for their partner and providing them something no one else can.
And it’s up to the woman to trigger this instinct in him. Because when his hero instinct is triggered, a man is much more likely to commit to being in a deep, passionate and long lasting relationship.
The best way to understand the hero instinct is to watch this great online video. It’s 100% free and there are no strings attached.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first discovered the hero instinct, provides an excellent introduction to this transformative concept.
I have a friend who told me, after a couple of glasses of wine, that this short video changed the way she acted on dates with men (I’d love to tell you what else she said, but I think I’ll protect her modesty!)
4. You love them entirely
Loving a soulmate isn’t a trade-off.
It isn’t about ‘putting up’ with bits of a person that you don’t like in order to benefit from the aspects of them that you do love. You love them entirely.
If you meet your soulmate, you will love them when they are sad, love them when they are happy and love them when they are anxious or worried. And they will love you in the same way.
Love like this isn’t an accountancy exercise — a list of credits and debits that you hope balance in the end. It is entire.
You love the other person and all aspects of their personality.
5. They let you be you
Being with a soulmate feels relaxing, not stressful.
This is because they allow you to be you — the real you. Not a version of you that you have carefully curated to impress another person.
If you are sometimes grouchy, then they let you be grouchy. If you sometimes think random thoughts, then you can share them. If you want to talk about your day at work or the dream that you had last night, then they listen.
Silence is part of this too — it isn’t just the words that you speak, it is sometimes the gaps that exist between them. Silences feel comfortable, not awkward. It isn’t about not having anything to say — it is about not needing to say them.
Soulmates take an active delight in the complexity of the other person.
Those things that your last boyfriend found ‘irritating’? Well your soulmate finds them charming.
This level of authenticity and acceptance means that soulmate relationships are unparalleled in terms of being able to open up, safe in the knowledge that you are loved.
6. Your love feels as inevitable
We started off talking about Hollywood films, and there really is something about meeting your soulmate that feels like it is scripted. You bump into one another when you least expect it, the obstacles you face feel flimsy, and you overcome them together.
It feels like the universe lines up for you.
I am as cynical as the next man when it comes to believing that the stars and planets affect the course of our lives. But there is actually science behind there being deeper patterns at work in guiding you to where you want to be.
One concept that is causing a lot of interest is the theory of biorhythms. This is the idea that there are natural mathematical cycles that help determine when important events happen in our lives.
Scientists and shamans are among the people really diving into this concept at the moment.
And what can be more important than meeting a soulmate and having a lifetime of happiness together?
If you want an easy introduction to understanding how biorhythms can affect your life, then check out this excellent free video on this fascinating subject.
It will only take a few minutes and it could change your whole approach to finding love.
7. You feel safe
With a soulmate, you feel safe when you are together but, equally, you feel safe when you are apart.
When you’re in bed together, you can tell he loves you because he makes you feel secure and comfortable.
If they are working away, you aren’t worried about what they are up to. Because you know that the strength of the love that you have is not fragile enough to break in the face of distance or temptation.
Of course, you assume others will want him or her. How could they not? You see your soulmate as the prize catch — as the best person in the world. How could others not want them in the same way?
At the same time, you know that they are yours and you are theirs.
8. You become a mind-reader
You will always know what the other person is thinking — even before they say a word.
If you are out for dinner, and you both overhear a couple chatting at the next table, you will be able to share your thoughts with just a look or a raise of an eyebrow.
9. You complete each other
Yes, this is the oldest cliché in the book, but often things become clichés precisely because people consistently find them to be true.
Soulmates are rarely the same — it shouldn’t be like looking into a mirror. He or she will have strengths that offset your weaknesses and vice versa.
If you are the life and soul of the party, then they may be an introvert. You might like lazing on beaches on holiday, whilst they prefer walking around museums.
The point is, that being together doesn’t blur all of these things into a vague beige color where each of you loses part of who you were when you were apart. It is about differences fitting together like a jigsaw to make a new, magnificent picture.
10. You have each other’s backs
Soulmates are never lonely. Being with a soulmate makes you part of a team of two in a battle against the rest of the world.
And guess what? The world doesn’t stand a chance.
Whether you are dealing with loss, applying for a promotion, or fixing a fence that a storm blew down, the other person is there cheering you on and supporting you.
A man especially thrives on having the back of his girl.
Because of his natural biological instinct to step up to the plate, protect her, and earn her love in return. Relationship expert James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I mentioned this concept above.
The best part is that women can actually trigger the instinct in her soulmate.
If you want to learn exactly how to do this, check out this excellent free video. James outlines the simple things you can do today to make your man feel like more like your hero.
11. Nothing makes you happier than their happiness
This is one of the most important soulmate signs.
It isn’t that you don’t value your own happiness — it is that what makes you most happy is seeing a smile on their face.
Loving someone completely is about caring about their needs and happiness more than anything else.
12. You can deal with the hard things
What distinguishes soulmates from other couples is not that they don’t encounter challenges and problems.
It is that they deal with them in a different way.
Soulmates never shy away from having the difficult and challenging conversations that are part and parcel of being a grown up. This is because they have established a way of being together that values openness and honesty above all else.
They don’t need to avoid conversations because they are worried about the other person’s reaction. They trust one another and part of that is having an expectation that each can talk honestly to the other.
13. You share a vision of the future
You are different people, but the one thing you will share with a soulmate is a vision of your future together.
This is about sharing a wonderful life together — and that has to be a single life that doesn’t involve the wishes of one partner overriding the wishes of the other. That isn’t what soulmates do.
Soulmates both understand where they are going and the shape of the life that they want to enjoy together.
If one person dreams of raising a family in a small town and the other wants to live in New York and party every night, then the degree of compromise asked for would break the relationship.
This doesn’t need a meeting to agree it. If you are with your soulmate you will often know all of this stuff without even talking.
14. You are best friends
In weaker relationships, there is sometimes a tension between the time you spend with your best friend and the time that you spend with your partner.
However, if you are with your soulmate then no such distinction exists — your best friend also just happens to be your lover.
You can and will have other friends, but the strength of the bond with your soulmate will override this.
Here is a simple test to try if you are in a relationship. If you have good news, bad news or just hear something funny, then who is the person you instinctively want to share that with first? If you have found your soulmate then the answer to that question is incredibly easy.
Put simply, your soulmate is your lover, your best friend and your number one fan.
15. You share the same values
Values are vitally important. You might disagree about what to eat for dinner or where to go on holiday, but you won’t disagree on the most important things in life.
Often you won’t need to ask what your soulmate thinks on a particular topic, because you instinctively get how they view the world.
Having the same values is an essential building block as you make a life together. When you meet the right person, you remain an individual but it is likely that you will both be looking at the world through the same lens.
16. You celebrate each other’s successes
You are not in competition with your soulmate. Their triumphs are shared triumphs and their problems are shared problems. Basically, you are in their corner.
This doesn’t make you blind to their faults, but the fact is that you probably won’t even see them as faults, just as aspects of who they are as a person.
When things go well for you, they will be your biggest cheerleader too.
And if things aren’t going so well?
It is their shoulder that will feel like the right place for your head to rest.
17. You can be more than one thing
Your soulmate will adore all versions of you. Happy, sad, angry, silly, or serious.
Being with a soulmate will never feel like you are being put in a box, or can only act in a certain way. You won’t feel to be squashed into a space that doesn’t fit all of the bits of you.
You will always be able to be you — whatever that looks like — because ‘you’ is who they want to be with.
18. You are a springboard for their dreams
The world is full of people telling you what you can’t or shouldn’t do.
Your soulmate isn’t one of those people.
They will cheer you on and reassure you that your dreams are achievable. And if you fail they will be the first one there to pick you up, dust you down and remind you that you can be anything you want to be.
They may be wrong. They may massively overestimate your capabilities. But they don’t know that — they believe in you with all of their heart.
19. You wouldn’t change a thing about them
Soulmates come fully formed. They aren’t a work in progress, pieces of clay to mold into a better shape. You accept them as they are, not even seeing their flaws as flaws — just as part of who they are.
If you look at your current partner and think, “I wish they were a bit taller”, or funnier, or thinner, or quieter.
Well, they probably aren’t your soulmate.
Real soulmates look at what they have got, at what life has given them, and thank the love gods every day that you’ve ended up being in their life.
20. It feels right
And finally, the easiest soulmate sign of all.
If you are with your soulmate then you will simply know. It really isn’t any more complicated than that.
Everyone I have spoken to who has a soulmate agrees. They knew, from the very beginning, that this was something different to every other relationship they had experienced.
There is a sense of calm certainty about the relationship from the very start. It isn’t a battle campaign. There is no “how long do I wait before texting”.
Real soulmates are all in from the very start.
In conclusion: How many soulmate signs do you see?
So, there you have it — the 20 surefire soulmate signs that you have found your soulmate.
If you have, then congratulations. You have hit the jackpot and can look forward to a life by someone else’s side.
If you haven’t, don’t despair. Love is found in the most unexpected of places. All you can really do is be ready for it and be the you that you want to be.
Your soulmate could be just around the corner. Or in the next lane of the supermarket.