Fatherhood is not an easy thing.
Rather, parenthood is not an easy thing.
By and large, though, the idea of children is something that’s usually a little harder for men to come to terms with compared to women.
The reasons why men are more afraid to have children will vary. If your partner has vocalized that he doesn’t want children, has he explained why?
Maybe he doesn’t feel like he’s mature enough, or fears the responsibility of being a father.
While some men hesitate, others really want children and can’t wait to have them.
If your guy hasn’t been warm to the idea of children in the past, that can be difficult if you’re hoping to have a baby.
But, maybe you’ve given him time, or he’s mulled it over more, and you’re wondering, “is it time to talk about it again?”
It might be. Men often like time to themselves to work through tough ideas.
So you’re thinking about breaching the subject with him again, but you don’t want it to go badly, and you don’t want to scare him off.
Or maybe you’ve never brought it up before, and have no idea how he’s going to react.
That’s okay, having a baby is a really big subject that requires a lot of open communication, whether or not you’ve talked about it in the past.
The good news is there are some tell-tale signs that he might be thinking about having a baby with you, and he’ll show them before you bring up the subject at all.
Let’s walk through some ways to tell if he wants to have a baby with you as much as you do with him.
The big signs
1) He’s more than good with kids
A lot of people are naturally good with kids. So if your man is good with kids, it’s not exactly a giveaway that he wants them.
But if you can tell that when he does spend time with them, he really enjoys it, it could be because he’s dreaming about having some kids of his own.
If he’s good with kids and he also really likes spending time with them, there’s a good chance he’s not just ready for kids, but he wants to have a baby with you.
2) He talks about future plans that involve you
Most guys tend to have pretty big plans on the horizon. They’ve put some thought into their future, whatever it may be, and if he’s worth your time, he’ll be making positive strides towards that goal.
If those future plans involve you, he’s signaling to you that he feels really stable with you, and sees you as a big part of his future.
And if he sees you and him stable far into the future, it’s a good hint that he’s also maybe thinking about having a baby with you.
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3) He’s in a financially secure position (and proud of it)
For a lot of guys, the accepted “definition” of success is having a lot of money.
Unfortunately, that’s just how our society is often structured. It can lead to greed and a shallow definition of happiness.
However, financial success is important in a healthy life. With stable finances, a man or a woman can live the life that they deem satisfying. Without undue hardship for you or your potential family.
If your guy has doubled down recently to make sure that he’s financially stable, and is proud to demonstrate that to you, it could be that he’s hinting at something.
He could be giving you a big sign that he’s ready and stable enough to support a family. Babies and all.
4) He’s emotionally stable
Perhaps even more important than financial stability, emotional stability is vital in a family.
Like mentioned in the last point, money is not the end-all-be-all definition of success.
Plenty of men out there are extraordinarily “successful” when it comes to their finances.
However, when it comes to the emotional side of things, maybe they still act like petulant children.
Nobody wants to have a child raise their children, right?
So if he seems reasonable, rational, in tune with his emotions, and able to not only handle them but also communicate them to you, he’s in a good spot to have children.
And a lot of emotionally stable men also want to have kids.
If your man is emotionally stable, it’s a good sign he’s ready to have kids. Does he want them? That might be a different story, but an emotionally stable man is an easily approachable man, so don’t be afraid to just ask him.
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5) He’s suddenly casual about birth control
You’ve been together a while now, you’re exclusive, and he suddenly decides he’s not all that motivated to put on a condom.
What does it mean?
It means he trusts you, and he’s not afraid of the idea of having a baby with you.
More than that, he might be trying to give you the hint that he wants to have a baby with you.
Does he ask you about your birth control pills or your IUD? If he seems like he’s interested in whether or not you want to stop birth control, it’s a big giveaway that he’s ready for kids.
6) He thinks that you’ll be a great mom
It’s a nice compliment to get–being told that you’ll be a good mom. It’s not necessarily an uncommon compliment to get, either.
I know that there are a handful of women I might give that compliment to, just because of how true it is.
So the compliment itself isn’t the giveaway sign. It’s also the circumstances.
How long have the two of you been together? And how often has he told you that you’d be a great mother?
If it seems like more and more your significant other is complimenting you about this, it’s because he’s thinking about parenthood.
If he’s thinking about parenthood, it’s probably because he wants to have a baby with you.
Starting a family is no small thing. The fact that he thinks about how good of a mother you’re going to be is a tell-tale sign he’s thinking about the kids he wants with you.
Next time he compliments you on how great of a mother you would be, it might be a good time to ask him if he wants to have a baby with you.
7) He likes fitting in with your family
Understanding how your significant other fits in with your family is an important aspect of a healthy and long-standing relationship.
So how does he fit in with your family?
It could be that he just doesn’t quite mesh, but it’s more important to understand how he feels about it, and how he views your family.
Is it important to him that he has a relationship with them and is involved in their lives?
Does he make a strong effort to get along with them and treat them like he would his own family?
If he does, it could be because he’s viewing your family as his family, and even more so would that be the case if you were to have children.
If he wants to have a baby with you, it’s going to be very important to him that he gets along with his future children’s grandparents.
So if he’s enjoying fitting in with your family, it could be because he’s preparing to bring everyone’s family together with a baby of your own.
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8) He’s got symptoms of baby fever
Baby fever–it’s highly contagious around those who secretly want children and those who think or know that they’re ready for kids.
If your man is showing some symptoms of baby fever, it could be because he’s oh-so-ready to have kids with you.
What are some symptoms your guy has baby fever?
Talks about his male friends who do have kids.
Starts gushing when he sees a cute baby.
Strangely jealous of people who do have kids.
Eagerly talks about house, future, and career.
These are just a few symptoms, and each guy will show it a little bit differently. But if you’re getting the vibe he might be obsessed with the idea of being a father, don’t be afraid to bring it up when the time is right.
9) Does he pamper you?
A lot of men are really good caretakers. The “typical” role for men may not seem like it fits with the idea of being a caretaker, but the “typical” role for men isn’t always good.
How does your man treat you? Does he look for opportunities to spoil you?
Whether it’s cooking you a nice meal, cleaning up the kitchen out of the blue, giving you a massage, or pampering you in any number of other ways, he might have a baby on his mind.
If he likes giving you this kind of treatment, it could be that he’s thinking about all the help you’ll need through your difficult pregnancy.
Or it could be that he’s ready to dote on a beautiful little baby that he has with you.
In any case, if he really makes a point out of pampering you, it could be because he’s got fatherhood on his mind.
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10) He talks about buying a house
A big sign he wants to have a baby with you could be shown in his desire to buy a house.
Maybe you’re living together in an apartment and he’s thinking about buying. Or you’re thinking about moving in together for the first time and he suggests buying a house.
When he brings up the idea of buying a house, he’s got big plans in mind.
A lot goes into being ready to buy a house, but if he is, it’s a good sign he’s ready for kids.
Homeownership is very conducive to starting a family. With plenty of room to grow and the stability that comes with owning versus renting, it’s an ideal environment for raising children.
It demonstrates his financial stability, and it shows that he’s ready to have a baby with you.
11) How he reacts when you miss your period
For a guy who is afraid of having children or isn’t ready to be a father, the news that you missed your period or that it’s late is often not well received.
There’s a sinking feeling and fear when he hears it. He doesn’t like the idea of having a baby with you.
But what if his reaction is different? What if he seems calm, even inviting to the idea that you might just be pregnant?
At that moment, he might not have even known it. But if he’s not freaking out that you missed your period, he’s probably ready to have a baby with you.
12) Does he have pets, or want them?
There’s a reason people often call their pets “fur babies.”
They’re a great way to have something to care about and dote on, without having the full responsibility of children.
But maybe your guy suddenly wants to get a pet. That could be a sign he’s ready to care for something and provide for it in the way that he would a child.
Or he already has pets and they’re his world. If he does a great job taking care of them, it could be because he really wants to have kids. Children–also known as “human pets”.
Humor aside, if he’s got a thing for pets, it’s because he’s good at taking care of living creatures. It’s a big sign he might just want kids, too.
13) He muses about his potential children
It’s normal to think about what your children might look like if you were to have them.
Personally, it’s always been interesting learning what parts of each of my parents I have the most of.
So, talking about what your kids would look like with your partner isn’t always a giveaway sign that you’re ready for kids, or something that he wants.
But, if it’s something he daydreams about or has been bringing up more often recently, it could be because he’s been thinking about how much he wants to have a baby with you.
The genetics of his family and the genetics of yours may suddenly be of a lot of interest to him. He may wonder what your daughter would look like, who’s features she would have most, or if his son would look more like him or you.
These are all really big flags that he’s thinking about starting a family with you.
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14) He talks about baby names
Everyone thinks about what they would name their baby if they were to have one, me included. It’s a very normal thing to think about and even talks about.
But if out of the blue, your man is thinking a lot about potential baby names, it’s a sign babies are on his mind.
He might be hinting at the idea he wants to talk to you more in-depth about having a baby. He might be ready for a serious talk about starting a family.
15) He’s always there for you
A good father is a reliable father.
If your man is always there for you, he’s probably ready for kids. Whether or not he wants them can be a bit of a different story.
But if he’s stepping it up, showing how reliable he can be, always being there for you, and doing his best to be responsible and strong, he could be trying to make a point.
What point is he trying to make?
That he’s ready to be there for you. Not just as a lover, but also as a mother. He might be trying to prove that he’s capable of being there for you, as well as for a child.
16) He talks about maybe getting married
Marriage is a big commitment. Choosing one person above all others is a life-altering decision that affects all the decisions that come after it.
That’s not to put anyone off to the idea of marriage, it can be an extremely rewarding and enriching relationship that many will say is the best thing they could have ever done.
So if he’s wondering if you ever see yourself getting married, it’s because he’s been having some extensive thoughts about making you his wife, having a family, and raising children.
If he talks to you about the idea of getting married, it could be because he wants to have a baby with you.
17) He straight up tells you
A surprising amount of men want to have kids. This article states that men tend to want kids more than women, and women are rightfully wary of raising a family in today’s world.
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise if he straight up tells you that he wants kids.
It’s the most straightforward sign because it’s not really a sign at all, it’s a statement.
But just because he says he wants kids, it doesn’t mean you have to acquiesce or bear his children for him.
Of course, if you’re reading this article, it’s most likely because you’re interested in having kids. So when he brings it up, it’s probably a very welcome thing.
Make sure that the timing is good to have a serious conversation about having children. Regardless of whether or not you’re the one bringing it up, or if he is.
If he’s showing any of these signs, there’s a good chance he’s not just ready to have kids but has been thinking about how he wants them, too.
And if he’s showing these signs, it’s a good opportunity for you to pick a good time to bring it up.
Whether or not it’s a repeat conversation now that circumstances have changed, or a first-time conversation about raising a family together, have confidence that he’ll be open to talking about it if he’s showing any of these tell-tale signs.
The real reason why men pull away
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